The over the shoulder boulder..umm.. pebble holders.

(warning.. sappy mommy entry)

Not to slam my mom.. she did what she could with me lol but I find myself trying to do things better.. improve upon.. learn from what I perceive as her mistakes.. and ofcourse probably still come up lacking. 

I don't remember my first bra per say.. I know I was nicely endowed by the time I was in JR High but I don't think I ever had a training bra. I think all I had for the most part of those first growth years where second hand from mom's friend's daughters. The first time I remember going bra shopping with my mother was when I was around 13 or so. I believe it was Wal Mart or K Mart.. something like that.  I can remember looking at the rows and rows of different braziers and mom browsing threw them and picking the different sizes for me to take into the fitting room. She was as shocked as I was to learn I was a C cup.

And like most women for many years I bought off the rack, often the wrong size and fit.  It was such a glorious day when I was fitted for a bra proper and to come to find out there is a wrong and right way to put on a bra.  I ofcourse was doing it the wrong way.. imagine that.  How could we have gotten it wrong for so long?  It is not like my mom was all that modest with me and couldn't show me how.. well that was up until  that fateful day she walked in on me getting out of the shower and said something to the effect that if I got any bigger she would have to get a harness for me.. and in my embarrassment as she went out the door I slammed it shut with my foot.. and sadly in the process cut the tip of her middle finger off and broke all of her manicured long nails.  But that is a story for another time.

I have come to learn there is nothing in the world like a new bra that fits right.  It can literally change your out look on your whole body image.  This was something I did not want my girls to have to find out way down the road like me. No, when the time comes I want to start them out right.

Annie has been wearing a sports bra for awhile now but its  come time to upgrade it.  I have very mixed emotions about this, as I am sure my own mother did with me.. difference is I am not avoiding it.  But dang.. she is only ten.. and I am only 30.  Can I really be old enough to have a daughter in a bra already???  It seems so.  Am I notthe only one who has noticed how girls are developing  and hitting puberty earlier these days??  That may be a whole other posting right there... all the hormones and chemicals in our food.. I digress.

Today I took Lilly & Annie clothes shopping, part of their delayed birthday gift.  Our first stop was to what I consider a gift to all women, Ann's Bra Shop. This is where I got my first good fitting bra and I knew they would treat us well.  I wasn't quite sure if she needed a cup yet but I needed mesurements either way so I knew I would be getting her something that fit just right.  On this important life mile marker I did not want to screw up.

I hope I laid the foundation today, showed her not to be embarrassed to be measured by a sales lady and how nice it is that they go and fetch the right size for you and will show you various styles and colors.  I showed her how to put it on.. she was very impressed she was getting a bra with hooks.  She wore her first real training bra under her shirt out of the store and may I say, walking just a bit taller and feeling a bit more grown up.

Annie laughed when I said now she has an over the shoulder bolder holder.  I suggested she not go around telling everyone because then they will try and snap her straps and then I couldn't help giving a tug to her shoulder strap.

Now Lilly is asking when she is going to get boobs.. oh great!!  One daughter down, two more to go.

Irronic.. Lilly's Birthday fell on International Women's Day!

On International Women's Day Women Celebrate the Gift of Reproduction

WASHINGTON, March 8, 2007 (LifeSiteNews.com) - As women around the world observe International Women's Day the women of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign are urging the United Nations and cultures worldwide to celebrate the one thing that makes women unique - the ability to nurture life and give birth.

The organization of women who publicly regret their abortions states, "It is time for people to re-consider the archaic acceptance that for women to be equal to men we must deny our reproductive gifts. The last 50 years of feminism has undermined what it really means to be a woman. Organizations such as the National Organization for Women (NOW) have tried to achieve equality by neutering women. Specifically through the promotion of abortion, yesterday's feminists have done more harm to their sisters than any previous patriarchal system have."

Actress, Author and Model, and Silent No More Campaign Spokesperson, Jennifer O'Neill commented, "As women being silent no more about the harm abortion has caused us personally, we know that NOW and their compatriot organizations that promote abortion, do not represent us. We also know abortion is not good for women's health and it is not empowering."

"I have seen thousands of women emotionally, physically, and spiritually damaged by abortion." stated Janet Morana, Silent No More Campaign Co- founder and Associate Director of Priests for Life.

According to Georgette Forney, Silent No More Campaign Co-founder and President of Anglicans for Life, "It is time for real women to stand together and celebrate our uniqueness as women. We also need all institutions (government, NGO, educational, medical, and religious) to stop relying on abortion instead of providing real help for pregnant women."

Silent No More Awareness acknowledges and celebrates International Women's Day, "a day that affirms what it really means to be a woman - giving and nurturing life."

Since officially launching the Campaign in 2003, more than 2326 women and men have shared their testimonies at 189 Gatherings in 44 states and 5 countries with more than 15,800 spectators having heard the truth about abortion's negative after-affects. More than 4,100 women and men have registered online to be silent no more. The Silent No More Awareness Campaign is sponsored by Anglicans for Life and Priests for Life. Information about after- abortion counseling programs is available on the Campaign website http://www.SilentNoMoreAwareness.org or by calling 800-395-HELP.

Lilly.. an unoffical posterchild for Silent No More : )

Tags: Silent No More Awareness, abortion, prolife, prochoice, International Women's Day

Read this article and then tell me all about abortion, safe and rare!

Woman Comatose for a Month After Botched Abortion Caused Center's Closing

Tags: abortion, pro choice, pro life, Rasheedah Dinkins, Metropolitan Medical Associates

Happy Birthdays Annie & Lilly

7 &10 years old!  My how they have grown since these nursery pictures were taken.  Annie turned 10 last Sunday and today Lilly turns 7.   Mommy here is starting to feel old.. and dreading the teen years that are fast approaching.

Annie has grown into a sweet sensitive girl who loves to scrap book and read.  She is starting to be more concerned about being all girly and wear skirts and dresses and wanting nail polish.. 

Lilly has also grown into a very sweet but assertive little lady.  She still loves Dora The Explora  but is starting to branch into Barbies and dressing them up.  She has loose teeth and adult teeth coming in on the bottom front row.  Pretty soon she will look like a jack-o-lantern.

I feel very blessed to be call their mother.. even when they are acting up a bit.. they are well rounded and make me proud.  I am a bit sad my babies.. all my babies.. are grow up so fast and getting so big.  What happen to my little infants.. why do they have to grow this fast?  It just doesn't seem right but aww these are the facts of life.

When they are babies you can't wait till they can walk and talk.. and once they start that you can't stop them or shut them up lol and before we know it they are facing graduation and going off to Collage or getting married.

This year I had wanted to do a fancy party for them at this place called The Plaid Monkey.  Annie and I had been there once before for a mommy & me day of getting our hair and nails done.  But it is just not in our budget right now.  So they each get their own specail birthday cake and hopfuly this weekend I will have some money to spend on them.  I was thinking of takig them to get a nice spring outfit or an Easter dress.  And maybe next month when we are better off I can take them each for a mommy & me day of beauty.  Either way I hope they know how specail and loved they are.

Chicago.. passport to adventure??

Not to diss Chicago or anyone that lives there, if it wasn't for all the traffic, outrageous cost of parking & the parking ticket we recived, the tons of perdestrions, and the cattle call at the passport office, I liked the place.  But I don't think we will get Josh back there anytime soon.  As he put it, some one would have to pay him a whole heck alot of money for him to step foot there again.

I was having a good time, taking in stride and patients the snafus we experienced but by the time we left I was wondering what I was doing there, where was God's plan and reasoning.  Josh had an appointment to get his passport at 10:00 Friday.  We enjoyed a nice evening at the hotel together Thursday and then battled the morning traffic to get down town.  We were all stressed and worrying over finding parking and making it in to the Federal Building to make the appointment on time.  We get there.. and apparently an appointment means nothing to these people.. like 150 other people had the same appointment time.  We were shuffled around from line to line like cattle.  We were there till noon and then told to COME BACK at 2:30 to pick up the passport.  That threw off our whole time line we had planned and they wouldn't just mail the darn thing (would been faster sheeesh)  So we walked around downtown and took in the sights and braved the cold snowy streets.  Glad I brought my hoodie to wear under my jacket and a change of shoes.

I was having fun walking around downtown and snapping away with the camera.  That is something I have been wanting to do in down town Saint Louis for a long time but never seem to get the chance but there I was able to do the tourist thing in the big C.  Josh held me close and freaked anytime I would stop to take a pic.  He can be something of a worry wart.. he didn't want to loose me or see me get mugged because I can be nieve at times.  He didn't share my sadness when I saw the homeless people.  I didn't have much change on me to drop in their stireophone cups but I tried.  Josh scoffed and insisted they were not really homeless but con people.. panhandlers.  Maybe, maybe not. 

Millennium Park was cool.. I'll have to see it when its all green and in bloom but it did look very lovely all covered insnow.  Iwanted to go ice skating soooooo bad.. just watching it made me feel about 11 again.  But my practical hubby refused.. he isn't concerned about having fun or making special memories like I am I guess.  I tried not to let that get me down.  He did have me rolling with laughter at the Big Bahookie.  Something of an inside joke hehehehe.

We found ourselves a hot lunch at one of the Italian restaurants that had an old Chinese women as our waitress.  I had an unexpected Italian version of clam chowder and Josh had a polish sausage sandwich.. they didn't have Chicago Style Pizza on the menu.. go figure.  We made it back to the cattle drive at the passport office on time only to wait and wait and wait and wait.. I left Josh up there because I knew our time was expiring our on meter 2 blocks away, so we planned on me circling the block till he was done and meet in front of the building.  But of course when I got back to our car a nice big ticket was on the windshield.. I missed the meter maid by minuets..gurr.. $50! Plus the 16 we had spent on feeding the meter.  We should of just gone to the $20 lot we scoffed at coming into town but we didn't know we were going to be there ALL DAY.  I was circling and circling for what felt like forever and a day.. didn't help people were starting to get out of work and crowding the cross walks.  People don't seem to care about getting hit by freaked out of towners and will walk right in front of you as you are making a turn.  And the traffic cops don't have much patience either for lost motorist.. you better move when they wave you on, believe me.  Josh made it down to the street at about 4:22.  He refused to let me pull over somewhere to switch drivers so I was forced to drive on to the highway out of town.  I was very frazzled but it dissipated when the highway became a parking lot and it took us 2 hours to move 30 miles.

Lessons learned.. if you can't do your passport by mail (and really that is the way to do it folks) then plan on taking all day even if you have an appointment. DONT wait for the day of your trip to go and get one (omg some of the sob stories we heard down there! would break your heart but government workers seem to have hearts of stone)  Don't forget your photos in the car unless you have a very nice wife to go and fetch them for you.  Take the $20 lot.. it is worth it in the long run.  Dress in layers and don't forget your gloves.. its a lot colder in the north.  Boots with the chunky heals are not ideal for running.  Don't assume when eating out in a different city that what it says on the menu is what you should expect but try it anyway..  you may like it.  When you give your babysitter your cell phone don't expect her to keep it charged and be easy to get ahold of.  Sometimes you can spend just too much time with your husband and periods apart is very good for relationships. The children can and will survive a few days without you but the good friend watching them will be a bit miffed if you are not back when promised.  Always pack a swim suit. the hotel may have an inside pool and sauna.

As if I am going to be leaving for anywhere any time soon.  But I can see the appeal for a life of travel and on the road and why Josh likes it.  I guess I am going to have to wait till we are old and the kids are all out of the house to do all that with him.  I think it is going to be a long while before I am going to get some one that is able to watch all the kids at once for us.

Now is time to get ready for Josh to leave.. still not sure of the date but I'll write more on that later.

 

Tags: Chicago, passport, travel, tourist

It's a case for Sherlock Holmes.. the missing passport!

How can some one loose something as important as a passport????!!!

Josh's big out of town/country job is upon us and he needs the sucker.  I have been looking for a week for it.  And believe me the whole house has been turned upside down.  Every drawer, every cabinet, suitcase, piece of furniture, even the cars, has been checked and rechecked 5 times over.  Our only choice is to replace it fast.  The fastest way to do that is to drive up to Chicago and get one.   This sucks big time.  It was like almost $300 the first time he got it because he got an expedited one because he thought he was leaving last  fall.  Now to get another one is going to be just as much plus the gas to get there and the hotel and food.  Only good thang is my good friend is going to watch the kids so we both can go and my mom may drive down from Milwaukee to have dinner with us. This also delays his trip just a bit longer.  This is going to take every last penny.  February has been a slow month.

I keep hoping it will turn up but we leave first thing in the morning and the appointment is set and the hotel room paid for.  I keep wondering if this is Satan's way of putting a wrench in every thing OR God's way of keeping Josh home and giving us extra time. Maybe he isn't supposed to go at all?  He has perfect peace about going so I won't hold him back.  But every one else is fretting and worrying over him.. almost begging him, guilting him not to go.  

I keep seeing things about the region he is going to.. hard not to since it is all over the tv.  and of course everything that is said is terrible.  I was bawling my eyes out last night because of some of it.  This is half why I stop watching the news.  The other half is I am sick of hearing about Anna Nicole Smith.. let the women be buried already..shhhesh.

But I am sick of waiting and waiting.  He was supposed to go do this six months ago and it kept being pushed back.  I want what ever that is going to happen to just happen already.  Leave or stay.. stop driving me nuts!

the child knocking on the door, the customer at the counter, the friend on the phone..Dare2Share

Last weekend I went to a teen conference with my church's youth group.  Dare2Share focuses on teens and equipping them in their faith and preparing them to share the Gospel.  It was very awesome and I am glad I volunteered to go along.  Not only did it rock our teens it really helped invigorate me and help fan the flames of this fire burning in me.  9,000 people in one arena all worshiping and singing to the Lord, mmhhh it was like a glimps of what heaven may be like when we are all at the Lord's feet singing to him and worshiping.

 

For part of the conference we took it to the streets.  We collected can food for a local homeless shelter ministry and with that open door the gospel and praying for others.  At first the teens were very scared and nervous.  It was a different neighborhood then what they are used to and they were out of their comfort zones going door to door asking people for can goods and if they had any prayer requests that we could pray for.  Some couldn't believe people actually slammed the door on them but despite some discouragement by the end of it all they were glad they followed threw and said after a while it was easier then they thought it would be.  And that was part of the purpose of doing that I think.. practice practice practice ... that after you get beyond fear and let the Holy Spirit work sharing the Gospel and praying for others is not that hard.

 

On the ride back to the conference the group of girls I was with started asking why some people were so nice and others so mean.  I knew some of them only know church life and other Christians so they are not aware of some of the pains of this life without Jesus, sheltered from it and may not understand why people lash out. I told them not take it personally, it is not you they are rejecting but Jesus and to not be mad at them but sad for them and pray for them.  Jesus said the world would reject us because ofhim and to even expect it.  I tried to explain to them that when people are hurting inside they tend to lash out instead of reach out for help.  Like a wild animal with it's foot caught in a trap, when you try to free it, it will snap and bite at you. Even though you are trying to help, it doesn't understand. It is in pain and struggling and doesn't know you and is leery, yet we still need to try or else it will die.

 

There are two people from that weekend that linger in my thoughts and prayers.  The first one is a clerk from a gas station I had stopped in at.  He was very nice and helpful as I was looking for something for my heart burn and emphasized with us being up so early after a night with crazy teenagers.  I did my business and went out side to smoke while I was waiting for the other volunteer (I was not smoking in front of the children. and yes I know I need to quit)  She was taking a long time or at least it felt that way because it was sooooo cold out. For some reason I thought maybe she was witnessing to the clerk and decided to go back inside to see how it was going.  When I went in I asked if she was practicing what she preached and the clerk looked at me wondering what that meant. She shook her head a hard no.  This is not something I do every day but I felt lead to start talking with him and sharing the Gospel.  No, I didn't get to see a miraculous conversion and I may not have been as steady with the way I put it as I could have been but seeds were planted I believe and it was good practice.  Like the teens would see at the end of the day, after I got my fear out of the way I felt like I could do that more often and be bolder in sharing my faith.  My friend that was with me said after we got in the van, " That was scary. Did you see his hands? They were all cut up at the tips of his fingers. I could have never done that."  I did not notice his hands even though I had touched them briefly as I had left.  I didn't see what my friends saw.  She saw a scary guy she wouldn't dare share her faith with, I saw someone who needed to know God's love.  I didn't notice anything scary about him at all.. I had perfect peace about talking to him, he was very nice in our conversation.  Maybe he is used to people just seeing his wounds and not talking to him much beyond the transactions people have to do at a gas station.

 

The next guy I can't get out of my mind was one we had went to get canned goods from.  He was one of the last houses my group had.  The teens were taking turns talking to each house and when we came to him the one of the shyer girls froze when she saw him.  He had a shaved head, he was very built, buff and did not seem to want to be bothered by us.  One of the more outspoken boys took over.  The guy did give us a can or two and when asked if he had any prayer requests he sarcastically said No but the boy pushed further and asked him if he knew God to witch he quickly said NO, and this boy not giving up and maybe not choosing his words as well as he could have, asked him if he wanted to know God.. and again he said No.  I knew he was not going to hear it and said thank you for the cans and his time and he slammed the door.  I give credit to the boy for even trying with someone who seemed so intimidating.  This was one of the scarier people they had encountered and they ran off his porch as quickly as they could.  This may have been one of the mean people the girls were asking about.

 

Both of these men for what ever reason touch my heart and I can't stop running the conversations over in my head.  I wonder how many times I had to hear about Jesus' love for me before it finally clicked.  How many different people prayed for me and talked to me on his behalf?  How many more will God send to these men so they can know HIM?  Something that runs in my mind is a scene of on Judgment Day when they are before the throne and try saying I never knew, no one ever told me, and perhaps God will show them all the people that came to them trying to show them the Truth.. the child knocking on the door, the customer at the counter, the friend on the phone, the sister at Christmas Dinner.  There is nothing more exciting then seeing someone come to the Lord, being apart of someone else's salvation story and maybe nothing as sad as seeing someone reject Him and not fully understand who and what they are rejecting.

Tags: Dare2Share, Faith, Jesus Christ, witnessing, Saint Louis