Today marks two years since I made my very first journal entry. I have made over 1436 entries since (according to the number assigned to each entry at the end of the link.. so give or take 10 or so because the first one started with the number 10) I average out to posting one entry a day (normaly.. when I am not you know.. moving). According to my counter I have had over 19834 hits/visits and the site meter/traffic tracking program I use estimates I have about 11 to 15 visitors a day, if not more depending on the topic posted. I have been featured by the editors over the last two years 3 times and twice in the number one spot (but this was before they did it for a whole week and only kept the picks up for one day.. *ahem* hint hint)
I have been trying to read over some of my past entries from the last two years to see how I may of grown or how my writing may of changed. It is good to do this now and then and I have relived many memories today. I think the biggest change in style is that I have not kept it as strictly a personal thought journal but also dabbled in political and faith issues and been out spoken on many issues but also I have a feeling of community with my journal that you just can't have with a private paper one. Yet I still try and not hold back when I write.. but just try to be more aware that I have a readership and that makes me more mindful of grammar and spelling (sometimes LOL) and not airing some other people's dirty laundry or things I need to keep in confidence.
I am not sure I can adequately put into just words how much my journal means to me nor how much I care and love for the the friends I have made because of having an open journal. I put my whole life out there and for some that may be a scary thing but for me it has become freeing (read my first entry to see why). There is a saying that writing is good for the soul and I think that is a pretty accurate description of what my journal has done for me. I often find it easier to get my deepest thoughts out threw writing, then verbally or working out my emotions with the written word then with just brooding in silence. For some it is music or dance or crafting.. for me it is my journal and writing. I first and foremost do it for me but I love the feed back and back and forth I have with the friends and readers who come here and I love visting other peoles journals. My journal alert list is way too long but I don't have the heart to cut any one.. they all are like friends and I have to keep tabs on thier lives. I find I have grown and helped other grow too by the information we give about our everyday lives and thoughts and feelings. Humans were created for relationships and crave it even when we try and deny it and build up walls because of hurts. J~Land is a safe place for the most part to explore relationships that we may of never thought we could develop in an off line context. And I have had many friends that I have come to talk with off line also.
To me my journal is so much more than a hobby or a funny side thing I do. I chronicle my life here, I put my faith and beliefs, prayers and my heart's deepest longings here. I have a voice here! I put my whole self into it. Most posts have a lot of for thought put into it and some are done off the fly and the top of my head and heart. Sometimes I am deep and sometimes I am just a nut looking for an outlet. My joys, my happiest moments, my deep pains and sorrows, and all the emotions in between are found in the archives of my journal. As I said in my Title Description.. Who knows what I will put in here today. I sometimes wonder if those who read my journal know me much better then the family and friends who opt not to read it. This is my place to be self centered but also giving too. There are so many levels to my journal and to blogging that the average person who doesn't blog or online journal can't fully understand it. Those of us who do and do it faithfully know just what I am talking about.
Oh it has not all been roses and sunshine. We have had those who have taken our trust and love for community and abused it and trampled on it by making fake fiction journals masked as real ones and we have threats of journals being deleted because of mean ppl sending out false TOS Reports. AND HEY! WHEN WILL WE GET THAT SPELL CHECKER!! And there has been other program glitches that thankfully the AOL Journal Team works on for us so we don't pull out our hair. The good about journals far out weighs the bad and if you are new to AOL JOURNALS you will learn to deal with the mean sucky people that on a rare occasion want to leave nasty comments and learn that we alldon't have to be the same to love each other and can have give and take dialogues.
If you would of told me two years ago that Hunybea's Open Journal would evolve and become as meaningful to me and others.. that people would actually read it and care about what I had to say.. I don't think I would have believed you. And I think that is a statement I have seen in many people's blog.. really you want to read this thing? Why do you care what I have to say? I think we all have some of the same insecrities and the same wants and needs to reach out and have friendships.. even if they are online.
Happy Birthday Journal.. thank you for always (almost always.. you know those rare outages) being there for me to put my rants, raves, and anything else here. I know there may come a time when we part and you may be deleted.. but I pray that day will not come and if it does.. back up back up back up!
And Happy Birthday to you J~Land. You give me so much more than I could ever give back. Honestly I don't think any other blogger server could give us the community atmosphere we find here... and no AOL has not paid me (but maybe they should.. or at least give me some props jk)
