He weeps openly

Frodo- he embodies all us in our strugles with Good vs Evil.

 

Last night we finished watching the last movie in the Trilogy of LOTR, Return of the King.  Josh and I had watched it the other day while the kids was at school so we was excited for our son who loves these movies and has been counting down the days till this last movie came on DVD.  Zane has become a LOTR freak you could say.  All he wanted for Christmas was the books, how can a mom say no to that!  We have gone threw the CS Lewis books Chronicals of Narnia and he ate those up, and knowing that JRR Tolkin was the one who lead Lewis to Christ I knew LOTR would have the undertones in it that we saw all out threw Narnia. Plus this is a right out Good VS Evil story, unlike Harry Potter whom is banded in our hosue hold.  Instead of picking apart the story and pointing out the spitural undertones to it I will let you all enjoy it and think on it yourselves.  I just had to share what a wonderful son I have and how deep he can be.

Like I said he has turned in to a freak for these stories, and that is good, these books are not 3grade level, yet he has almost no problem reading them.  There are some of those made up words that Tolkin puts in there that we both have trouble pronouncing but other than that he reads it pertty flewantly. Zane even went as far as (on his own, with noooooo prompting from me) to read the Biogrophy of Tolkin to try and understand why he would write such a story as this. The first two movies he saw before reading the book and after reading he would compair to what he saw on screen and how true the movies was to the book.  And where the movie failed to give back ground info Zane would insert the info for us.  He has not reached The Return Of The King yet but he was bitting his nails waiting to see it when it came out.

You could see in his eyes the sheer joy and suspence as he sat and watched the movie unfold.  He could hardly sit in his seat for the battle sceens and when Frodo and Sam did reach Mt Doom you could see on Zane's face the inter strugle knowing the end in one way or another was coming.  What inpressed me the most about my son was his reaction to the ending sceens when Frodo was leaving on the Boat, never toreturn with Gaindolf.  Frodo said his good byes to his stunned friends.  They are all crying and my husband glances over to see my son with red eyes and tears running down his face also.  It was an emotional sceen, even for an adult, I was not about to tease him for weeping.  I think he was weeping as much for the end than for the breaking of a friendship that had developed over three movies.  Who doesnt want a friendship like Sam and Frodo had.  Some one who will see you threw all your stugles, even when you tell them you dont want or need thier help.  My son has not had a best friend like that yet and I think he was also partly weeping for he longs to have a buddy who will follow him and be side by side with him in this battle we call life.

Sun Screen Nazi & Basement Diver

The thing about being away so long is that some much goes on and it builds up and it is almost imposible to write all that you want too, even with the increased charter limit lol. So I will just start with what happen today and see where that leads us.

Josh had a rain day again today for work.  So instead of sitting around the house he wanted to do something with me and the girls while Zane and Annie was at school.  It seems like we do so much with and for the older ones that the little ones get jipted sometimes.  With talks of my Girl Scout Troop's last meeting to be a day trip to the Zoo next month Josh thought it would be a great idea to take Lilly and Sophia there today.  Our Zoo here in Saint Louis has free admission and you can find parking in Forest Park with out having to pay the $8 they want at the Zoo. It was a walk but we made it.  We did fork over the $8 for the double stroller rental, but it was worth it so that we wouldnt have to carry the girls around and they had shade.  We gave them thier own map of the zoo.  Lilly kept it well and was frantic when ever it was dropped.  She looked and looked at it and pretended she was in a Dorra Cartoon with singing about the Map and how do we get there...  We saw alot.  Pengins, Monkeys, Lions, Bears, all kinds of birds and reptiles, but I think the fav part of the trip to the zoo was when we sat to get a snack.  We got a big drink to share and popcorn for the girls.  Birds was all around and the girls gigled with glee as they flew close to them.  I threw out a few kernals of corn and to the delight of Sophia the birds pecked at them and took it away. Ofcourse you know more than half of that bag of popcorn got fed to the birds lol.  Man am I out of shape!  All that walking and the hot sun wore me out.  We all took a great nap when we got home.  But now I feel the sting of the red sholders.  I negleted putting on sunscreen cuz Josh anoiyed me with his comment before we left that I was the Sunscreen Nazi.

I am very fair skinned and all my life my mom has ingrained into me the need to always wear sunscreen to prevent burning and my dad always feared sun cancer, he would say that would be one of the worst ways to go.  So you can imagin how I am during the summers and taking the extra few min. to put some on myself and the kids.  Josh is the impatient type and the oh a little sun wont hurt kind of guy.  He has an olive ton skin type and tans very nicely.  When we met in Vegas he was very very tan and I half teased him that he may be not all white in his family tree.  So every year we have this strugle, he calls me fearful and I call him stupid. Every camping trip I insist everyone put some on and often am ignored, yet I come home with no burn and others come home reaching for the aloe lotion. As I was putting some sunscreen on the girls face he called me the SunScreen Nazi and that made me so mad I forgot myself.  So now my shoulders and cheeks are very red and sting, a feeling I have not had in many years cuz I am usaly very protective of my creamy white skin.  Josh can see now why I insist that SunScreen is important.

Another thing I am frantic about is when there is storms and the tornado sirens go off.  My young years was spent in Wis. and again, my parents ingrained in me that if you hear those sirens to take it serously and get thy self to a basement.  I am huanted by pics you see on tv of the devastaion of tornados.

We had a big storm come threw our area tonight and the sirens came on.  Right away I tell the kids to get to the basment. Josh lolly gags around and puts on the news and looks out side and tells me and the kids to calm down. Now granted I have passed on my fear of tornados on to the kids and they wigg out each time the sirens come on now too, but really is that such a bad thing?!  Even if one doesnt hit or touch down, one day one may and it wont be a false alarm.  I would rather be safe in the basment then galking at the sky and swept away or worse a flying object hit me.  Josh thinks I just over react and I am silly and scoulds me for making the kids think as I do.  Again I call it being safe and him being foolish.

Sorry for My negleted Journal.. here is an update

I can not explain why it has been well over a week since I have posted a solid entry here.  The desire just hasn't been there to write! Crazy I know, because you know I love this journal and have been known to write several entries in one day lol.  I have not been on a computer fast and no my service has not been cut off, I just have not thought about it I guess.  God is showing me so many things and I could have written several things this week but I just have not felt lead to be online so much it seems.  Could it be he is teaching me to balance and set priorites?? LOL Must be so.

Summer is quickly aproching and our lives seem to be speeding up preparing for it.  The kids have about a week and half to go and then that weekend they will be going to Church Camp(Zane and Annie) and also our church picknic will be that weekend. Will be intresting to see how we pull that one off, being in two places at once.  Zane and Annie love Church Camp and are looking forward to it.  All the kids who are going are looking forward to it.  Last Friday the youth put on a talant show and dinner to raise the rest of the funds needed to pay for all of them to go.  It was a Country-Hoe-down theme and everyone was to dress up.  LillyBea my 4yrd won for best dressed.  She had the cutest frilly skirt and matching top and I put her hair in piggy tails, she also took her poney along just for good messure.  She decieded as we got to church she also wanted to preform a song so they wrote her in.  I thought she was going to sing Here is Thumpkin but she went with Mary had a little Lamb at the last second.  She did a wonderful job and I was so proud of her.  She was not a bit nervous up there infrount of everyone, I think I have a preformer on my hands, she takes after her mom the org Bea-Bopper.  All the kids from Annie and Zane's class put on a preformace to a song called Take Me, I am Yours, and they did a great job.  Thier teacher really did wonderful with the coregraphing.  Well that was Friday night, then Sat. was Zane's last Pack Meeting for scouts.  It was a big tado at a park with games and prizes and presenting of the last awards for the year.  Each of the my kids won a gold fish and we have two of them named Nemo.  Next year Josh has volunteered us to help out with Zane's Den since the leader will be going out of the country alot for work.  What have we gotten ourselves into! lol But it shouldnt be too bad, I have decieded not to return next year as a G.S. Leader and put Annie in AWANAS instead.  I think this is a good chioce and also will leave room for me to focus on MOPS and more of my prayer ministry.  I have tons to write about what has been going on with me spirtualy but I don't think it is all ready to be put down on paper yet.  I have been reading over and over the book of James for some reason and it never fails that God applies something from what I have just read into my life.  Very cool!

Well that is my update for now.  I will make an effort to write more soon and to make the rounds in J~Land.

Do You Know This Girl or who her family is?

Officials asked anyone with information about Courtney or her family to call the Department of Social Services at (410) 361-2235.

My heart breaks reading this news story.  Flash backs to when my niece was kidnapped swirl in my head.  Surely like my sister had frantactly searched for Jazmine there is a mother or family member looking and praying for this little girl who was left by her father to strangers.  Take a look at the pic and pray and if even a bit of reconition flikers in your mind call that number! Please!

No I havnt been to the dentist yet but my pain has perty much disapeard. Nooo not cuz I have been taking pain pills.  I have been staying away from them for fear I may get hooked and the fact is since Sat afternoon I have not needed them. I am sure the tooth still needs to be pulled but the only time it gives me trouble is if I eat something cold.  Thank you for the prayers because I am sure that has played a part in my pain easing.  Don't worry I will get to the dentist as soon as I can find the guts and funds to pay him.

My mother in law came for a visit this weekend and it was nice to have her.  I got to spend alot of time with her, more than Josh did so he was a bit jelous I think.  But he wouldnt want to do all the shopping we did lol so he isnt complaining.  His mom is a shopper indeed! Sat we went around to like 4 stores for various things.  I think she just had some money come in and plus her living out in the sticks there isnt much for shopping.  She had to get a new study Bible and then she wanted to get some fabric to sew some summer dresses and we went to the mall to look for a FannyMay Candy store but they all have gone out of buisness.  Then we hit WallMart and got a butt load of stuff, all stuff we needed granted plus she had to get some things for the kids to spoil them.  I also got a new pair of sandles and a few outfits for me.  I like to shop but not that much shopping in one day.  It wore me out! lol  I am not used to being able to shopp for things that are not basic needs and felt a bit wasteful and embarassed that she paid for everything.  For some reason it is hard for me to take gifts when there is no accasion to celbrate with out thinking there is a hidden motives.  I know his mom is not like that and its just me and my pride again lol.  His mom planted a flower box of plants with the kids and they loved it.  The girls will not let me forget about watering them each day that is for sure.  Maybe they will be good gardners.  Josh's mom told me she really enjoyed her visit and loved watching Josh and Me with the kids, it makes her real proud how well we are with them and how good behaved the kids are and right on track on things. Ofcourse she is a very proud grandma and has to say these things but I am also very aware that my kids are unique and are not as spoiled as her other two grand kids (they are only children, that should say it all lol)  She promises to come and visit more often and is sorry she has not come sooner for a vist.  Since Granny died she says she gets in funks on the weekends and after a hard work week she just dosnt feel like doing much, but she is going to make an effort to stay out of those funks.

I have been amazed that I have stayed off line for almost a full 3 days! See there is life away from the internet Mary! lol

Update about my Mom and my own ouchies

Thank you all so much for praying for my mother.  She called me yesterday afternoon with the resutls of her tests.  She said her arteries looked good, no cloges so they didnt have to do any stints and the valve they are concerned about does look like it is starting to weaken but in the begining stages of it.  They will monitor her and check it every six months but surgery is not nessary for maybe 2 years if at all.  Ofcourse I say not at all and God will heal her fully.  I am not sure my mom fully believes me, she kinda gave me that "OK Mary" pat on the head tone when I said that to her.  Keep praying for her Please.

I could use some prayer myself.  I have dental issues gallour.  I know I must need a tooth pulled and that it has gotten infected.  The pain is terrible!  Asprin isn't even cutting it anymore and I have moved on to pain pills.  Even with Tylonal 4s it still is throbing.  To rub it in the news had a big thing on about drug abuse and how the typical abuser is White Females in thier 30s abusing prescription drugs. I was like ohhh God, are you sending me a warning or what! lol  I am keenly aware how easy it could be to love pills too much and my family has a history of addiction.  So I am watching it very close and only take a pill when I can not stand the pain anylonger.   I know I must not put off going to the dentist but ugh it seems just to make an appointment is a big ordeal.  I do not have the greatest of insurance and will have to pay for a big chunch of what ever work I get done.  So I have to find a dentist that will see me and who does oral surgry aswell.  Most dentist dont anymore and refer you to some one.  I want to get it done in one apointment and not have to drag it out like some dentist like to do.  Most openings are during the day, when Josh works and I have no car and finding some one to take me and watch the kids can be a big challange.  Ofcourse my friend Amy has offered to do both when I do find someone to take me in and have the money to pay for it.  Amy is a God send! As I have said before I am sure lol.

A Word about Food Banks and Friendships

My friend Amy's icebox went out last week and all the perishable food they had went bad.  They need to replace the icebox and all the food in it.  Amy is a very sweet friend and she has blessed me more than I can say over the course of our new friendship.  She has helped me and my family so much and it is almost embarassing, I try and wrack my brain to find ways to show her how much I do aprishate all she has done for us but she would hear nothing of it, that is what friends are for she would say and say I thought we was better freinds than that tit for tat stuff.  God has been defintatly working on my pride issues and it has been a rare thing to have a friend such as Amy.  I could write all day about this dear friend : ) let me just say one day she will have many great rewards in Heaven.  As I was saying her icebox went out and she was in a tight spot (not that she would admit that to me!) so she went to the wealfair office with her case, looking for some help with the food situation.  They refered her to a food bank and she happly went.  Incodently this food bank is the one my church closly works with and donates to monthly.(I think if she would of asked our church for help she would of been surprised for I am sure they would of  helped her out too)  She calls me and tells me of how they loaded her car up,back seat, trunk and some in the front seat.  They had given her soooo much!  More than they needed and she didn't want to offend me but she wanted to bring over to us what she knew we would need.  I have learned in the past the hard lession of not saying no to blessings and letting my pride get in the way of what God wants to do and honestly we needed the food. When she came over her car's back seat was loaded with paperbags of can goods and meants and toletries we surely did need.  I asked her did she keep any for her self! OH YES she said, they had given her so much.

What Amy had given us was Bread, Hamburger, a Whole Chicken, fixings for making pies, caned veggies,can fruit, fixings for making chillie, fixings for making spagettie, soup, tunna, boxed dinners,TP, Ladies Shaving cream, Razors, Lotion, and sooo much more.  So much so that I will have to re-donate some of the can goods because we have no room for it all. She didn't just provide for our physical needs too, she also gave us love and reminded me of God's Love for us.

I share this all withyou because I well up with tears with what the Lord has done and pray for him to bless each person who donates to food banks.  I write to show you that people who go to food banks are real people, maybe even your next door neighbor or family members. There are many people in need and often the food banks are bare untill the fall when ppl think that is the time of sharring and giving for Thanksgiving and Chirstmass.  I encourage all of you, even if you dont go to a church, donate to a food bank once a month.  Set aside some of what you have, or go on a special shopping trip for idems you know you would use yourself.  You will bless many in this way and you too will be blessed.  I know it always feels better to give to those who are in need and right now we happen to be the ones in need but I know God will get us threw and it will be my turn to give.  That is true Religion.

James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and] to keep himself unspotted from the world.

James 2:15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, 16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be [ye] warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what [doth it] profit?

Spirtual War Fair

I have not followed closely the news of late.  So much crap out there, not much of hope in the news these days.  I am very discused by the news coming out Iraq about the prision situation that happen.  What was these men and women thinking?!!! Nasty!  Oh how they have discrassed America!  Clearly what happen in those prision cells was wrong, just as wrong as the things that happen there under Sadam's ruling.  As the saying goes Absolute power Absolutly corups.  Did these ppl think these things would never come to light? 

I know that the hearts of men can be cold and concive many evil things.  I also have to wonder if that place had anything to do with it?  If those walls could talk, the horrors it would tell.  Haunted? Na.  But defently a demonic presance must be there.  I believe in Demons just as much as I believe in Angles.  The Bible says they are fallen Angles, who was decived by Satan to follow him and fight God for power.  They was cast out of heaven and given rule here on earth.  We fight not agenst flesh and blood but agenst spirutal princaplaties.  I can't help to think how they are celbrating over the destruction going on due to thier influance in this scandle.  Not just the dignaty taken from the prisioners but from the Muslim reaction, the beheading of salvilions and more violance promised to come.  I do find it intresting the choice of murder was beheading.  The Bible speaks of Saints being beheaded for thier faith in Jesus Christ.  I have heard of it happening in the Sudane and other African nations with Muslim rule.  I did once have a dream that is how I will die, that I will be beheaded for my preaching of the Gospel to many ppl.  Like that movie Big Fish, If you know you how you are going to die, you dont fear the other things that could kill you if you know it wont be what gets you.  Is that how I will die? I am not sure, it was a very strong vision I had when I was sick with a fever of over 103 but if that is how I will go, I could not think think of a better way, giving my life for Christ.  Maybe one day I will write the full verson of the dream I had. Heavy stuff.

Here I am!

Wow look who gets to do a text entry not an audio one!   #1 thing Dial up sucks! but I finaly figured out how to get it to work.  Aparently you cant have dsl and dial up hooked up at the same time?? bla. And I have to watch the clock while on dial up cuz with the plan I have, i get dsl all the time and dail up for 15hrs a month for 14.99 (but I got aol for free right now for those of you who may of forgotten lol)  Soooooooooon we will be all caught up (I hope) and my money situation will be straighten out.

I dont blame ppl for not being able to keep up with my audio entries lol. Half the time they dont get posted right and I have to be selective about what I say cuz I only have 3 min to get my point accross lol. 

If you didnt catch my last one and what it was saying the Jist of it was..

PRAY FOR MY MOM!!

She is going this Thursday for more tests.  She tells me that the docs told her she has a heridary malfuntion with her aourda valve and that heart surgury may be required.

I told my mom that she shouldnt worry, turst God.  I am praying for her complet healing and am asking everyone to do the same!  When the docs do the tests Thursday they are going to be asounded because there will be no damage and no need for any surgury.!  I totaly believe this!  Just waiting for the call on Thurs. from my mom telling me what they didnt find lol.  but please everyone pray for my mom Wilma.  Thank you so much.  You know that I totaly trust God and the power of prayer. And if anyone ever needs prayer all they have to do is e-mail me : )

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