Pics of Me & a post about loosing it

Gotta love my Sony Ericson cell phone.. ya the lighting sucks but I was board and sending them as a blog entry seems to be easiest way right now to upload them to the net. The last two are my fav and may become my new default pics on blogger and myspace. (if only I could do something about the bags under my eyes ugh.. turning into Mother lol)

I feel like I am about to loose it.. and not in the good way.. maybe all I can do to deal right now is laugh and blow off steam. I can't watch the news with out my blood boiling, another government bail out!!?? Are you kidding me! So I have been avoiding news and talk radio the last week. Sigh.

Our computer had a major meltdown and lost six month worth of photos and docs and videos.. Josh had to wipe it out and reinstall OS. UGH!!! Bright side.. most of my pics are uploaded to aol pics or what ever the new site is now (cant say cuz I lost the link since my favs were wiped out) and it was only six months, not six years. AND I wasn't the one who had to sit there and figure out how to fix the puter.

Going on day 3 of loosing my glasses too. Not that I can't see or anything but I should be wearing them for driving. Wish I could get contacts but that is more money we don't have. Just like I wish we could get a new bed. We sooo need a new bed.. maybe that is partly why I am so grumpy.

My poor son. He may need knee sugary soon. Waiting on the x-ray and MRI results to come in to see what is causing him such pain. I hate to see my baby in pain and not be able to do anything about it. He is so bummed too because he is missing out on wrestling. He tried to do practice yesterday but only lasted the first 10 min and then had to sit out. It is not constant pain, comes and goes and he can walk on it. But still he is only 14.. I hate to see him so torn up already.

Last week and looking like this week too, I've got over time at work. That is a rare rare thing with my job and we will be needing every extra red cent we can muster too. But oiy.. I am a stay at home mom at heart still and just not used to working almost 50 hour weeks and getting home so late. Major guilt setting in but I know it is just temporary.

Friday can't come fast enough.. we are sooooooo broke!! I think I have enough gas to get me threw the week (Thank YOU Lord for lower gas prices right now.. $1.78 whoot) But I know Josh doesn't and we will be over drawn at the bank. But thankfully Josh is working this week.. no rain days forcasted like last week. He missed two full days! And you know what he did.. NOTHING.. bum lol.

And that is another thing I am about to loose it over. My husband! You know I love him, dearly, madly, deeply, to the pit of my soul. BUT What in the world is going on with him! I can not keep making excuses for him and the whole settling back into being off the road line and getting used to each other.. its been over two months now. Two weeks of good loving and passion and then almost like the silent treatment.. like he cant stand to be in the same room as me. Some one PLEASE cut him off from the Webkin's web sit!! He doesn't want to talk with neighbors or go to birthday parties.. even when I beg him.. please baby for me. I suspect he is depressed but Mary is feeling ever sooooo neglected lately. I can't even get a good back rub people! And the snide comments about me developing an eating disorder and being too concerned about my looks is not the route he should be going right now. Men are so stupid sometimes.

Here is a clue if you are a husband or bf.. your women has recently lost a few and feels victory and excitement when she fits into that pair of jeans that has been sitting in the closet for 3 YEARS and is strutting her stuff.. you should say "Wow babe you look great!" and give her a pitch or slap on the behind. NOT "Ya whatever, whats for dinner?" That will only make her go running into the bathroom crying. And if she has been cussing alot.. well maybe you should ask yourself why instead of telling her how that is oh so unattractive.

Yes I have been loosing weight, and not on purpose mind you. For Real,we have been eating off the food pantry for a month now and my stomic has shrank. I want to eat when we do have food.. but just can't seem to get a full plate in like I used to. I have been trying to keep an eye on that and force myself to eat but a few bananas during the day and a small dinner at night is all I can muster. That and working so much the result is I am in a size 14!! You know what.. it feels great. And what does a women do when she is feeling good about herself and a new figure.. she goes threw the closet, gets rid of the fat clothes and sees what options she has left to wear. And since she is feeling so good about herself, she actually puts an effort into her morning routine and shock and awe.. puts a bit of mascara on and a comb threw her hair. Does that mean she is trying to attract attention from other men.. no! That means she is happy and would only love for her man to tell her how awesome she looks and how hot she is and how he cant control himself and take her back in the bedroom and .... you get my point.

OK End OF Rant. Life is good.. as long as we have each other. God is still on the Throne and Still in Control! At least that is what I keep telling myself and everyone.