Got this from one of those annoiying FWDs but a good read.

CHRISTIAN ONE LINERS

"Don't let your worries get the best of you, remember,
Moses started out as a basket case"

Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited - until
you try to sit in their pews.

Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.   The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose,
but mosquitoes come close.  

 When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.  

People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the
middle of the road, and the back of the church.

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation leans on the bell.
  Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't get in.

The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And
 in conclusion."

If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray
for the one it has.

God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is
dead.  So why should you?

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and
permanently set.

 Peace starts with a smile.

I don't know why some people change churches; what
difference does it make which one you stay home from?

A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the
Promises" are only sitting on the premises.

We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as committees.

Be ye fishers of men.  You catch them - He'll clean them.

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

Don't put a question mark where God put a period.

Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you into church.

Forbidden fruits create many jams.

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies those called.

God grades on the cross, not the curve.
 

God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the
spirit" over "religious nuts!"

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

Anyone who angers you, controls you!

If God is your Copilot - swap seats!

Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!

The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.

The Will of God will never take youto where the Grace of
 God will notprotect you.

  We don't change the message, the message changes us.

You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

"Father, bless the person reading this in whatever it is
that You know they may be needing this day!"