My heart's desire.

Feel like writting something, just not sure how to start or where to begin.  You know blank page, blank mind syndrome lol.

I am a bit sad and a bit grived. Nothing too serouse, nothing out of the ordanry, what I have come to expect by being an outsider that Stands on the Word of God.  It makes me sad to see ppl I love and care about be so blinded by the world.  I wonder why God, why dont you lift the scales off thier eyes. I relize we are living in the end times and sometimes that is a scarry thought and some times I recoice in it, knowing this will be the last generation that has to live in this sinfilled world.  The scary thought to me is how so many are not prepared, so many are decived, and are happy to be submitting to the lies satan puts out there and then attack the ones who stand on God's Word.  I am not talking about any one person and I am not mad at anyone.  The one I get mad at is who the source of it, the one who seeks to kill and destroy lives, the father of all lies.  I have no fear of him, cuz there is nothing he can do or take away from me that the Lord will not see me threw and I know that I have all power and authorty over him.  It amazes me those who fear him, who submit to the spirit of fear cuz of him. Fear and dought kills faith. Where does faith come from? The Bible says : Romans 10:17 So then faith [cometh] by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.  I dont try and push God on anyone, but since he is what the focus of my life is, that is the majorty of what comes of my writtings and interaction with others.  I think of it like planting seeds of God's Word into other's lives, what God does with the seeds is up to that person and God.  Some times the seeds are recived well, and the ground of the heart is ready and prepared, some times the seeds are rejected and the ground of the heart is hard or there is weeds and rocks in the way.  Either way, I try and not be discouraged because God is in control and he sees the end results where it may be years before I can see fruit of anything I have said to someone.  I know that it was not over night that my heart was ready to recive the Lord.  He had been working on me for years before I just let go and let him in and gave over my life to him.  He used many ppl in my life to bring me to the relationship I have with him today.  And I am very thankful to all those servants of God who was obediant to him and planted those seeds into my life.  I am sure I gave some of the same answers I hear from others, yet God never gave up on me and he kept after me.  He loves me and you that much, he will not stop untill he has those who are given to him.  He loved me even while I was knee deep in my sins.  He searched after me and prosued me like a lover who is deep in love with some one who rejects him over and over but doesnt give up.  It grives me all the times looking back that I fell for the suduction of Satan and his lies and that the lover of my soul seeing my heart still sought after me.

Oh Lord I love you so much.  Thank you for never giving up on me.  For loving me even when I rejected you and your love. Thank you for each seed planted into my heart, for each time you send some one to encourage me and lift me up.  Thank you for your wonderful gift of Life where before I was so dead and I didnt even know it.  My heart is yours and my life is yours. Use me as you will, help me to be the women you want me to be. I want to be your obediant servant. Use me like you used all those others in my life.  Touch hearts and open eyes. May they be able to see you as I do.  May they come to know you as I know you.  There is so much more in Knowing you than just knowing about you.