I'll try and not cram too much into one entry

Here I am.. do you miss me???  I miss you and my blogging.  I always have so much I want to say and limited time to update when the computer is available to me.  I have tried taking up paper journaling but it just isn't the same and I have even started to call into talk radio to voice my opinions.. still not the same.  Oh well.. this can't last forever and eventually I will have the capabilities to blog and e-mail and comment and do groups to my heart content.

Meanwhile I have had a birthday.  Someone who should of known better asked me how old I am now.  My response was "Old enough" and they said "Old enough for what" with a playful smile.  And me always quick with a comeback said "old enough not to be the youngest in the room anymore"  And it' true  Josh and I used to be the youngest married couple, not anymore.  And I used to be the youngest at women's group.. not  for some time now.  But still I am younger than most of my friends so I don't get away with complaining about being old.

January Birthdays always seem to get jipped because of Christmas so I did not expect much of anything for my Birthday.  Still I EXPECTED two or three calls saying Happy Birthday.  Of all ppl I expected my husband to call me.  He is out of town constantly for work but we talk daily and I had reminded him that it was coming up.  He took it as nagging and guffed.. ya I know.  My birthday was on a Saturday, a day he was not working.  I waited and waited.  Then I got concerned when his cell went to voice mail the 10 times I tried calling and no response to texting.  I thought surely something is wrong.  His phone is never turned off and EVEN if it was he could borrow someone's to call.  I don't keep a roster of his co-worker phone numbers so I had no way of getting ahold of him.  I finally broke down and called one of the wives to ask if she could  call and have her hubby check on mine.. that surely he must be lying in a ditch somewhere or his phone is stolen or he is in jail because it's my birthday, its almost 9:00 p.m his time and I have not heard from him all day and he is a good caring husband that wouldn't blow off his wife on her birthday.

With in 10 minuets of calling that wife I got a call from Josh. His excuse was his ringer was turned off and he had been sleeping most of the day. He said he was goinggggg to calllll eventually.  Yes, I did give him an earful followed up with hanging up on him. Too bad with cell phones they don't have those loud slam down clicks like the old phones so he couldn't really hear it.  But from what I gather all the guys he works with know about it and gave him a good hard time for me. LOL.   No he hasn't made up for it really but his time home is always short so I will try and not hold it against him.  I will just chalk it up to typical male behavior and get over it.  Because after all.. love doesn't hold a record of wrongs.

Another event while I have been away is one of Annie's (my oldest daughter) school mates died.  The 5th grade boy died suddenly from juvenal diabetes and it is very shocking to our community.  Annie had him in her class for 3rd and 4th grade and some of her friends were close to him.  She is very sad and I am trying to keep an eye on her.  We went to the viewing but were unable to attend the service for him. For Annie it was important to her to say goodbye even if she knew that was just his body and he was not really there.  And we did cry.  The funeral home was standing room only with family and friends.  He was very much liked and loved.   I know the school did a fundraiser for the juvenile diabetes foundation in his honor and thechildren have had opportunities to express their grief.  It's just hard to see.  My daughter is a very sweet, soft spoken and caring girl and takes things to heart, like her mother.  We are praying for the family and our community.  Josh is spending the day with her and giving her extra attention and I asked the adults in children's church to maybe talk to her about it and see if they can get her talk about it and if they see any areas of concern.

Lots of events coming up too.  Super Bowl Sunday church is having a party with a chili cook off.  Dare 2 Share is coming to town in a few weeks and Zane is going. Wish I could go again this year with the youth but I don't think I can swing paying for the both of us.  Women's retreat is at the end of March and I really want to go but not sure how I can work that out money wise and finding some one to take care of the kids.  It's funny because the theme this year is "How to be a Mary in a Martha world".  The other day I was just telling my friend how she was SUCH A MARTHA and that is one of her giftings.  She is very new to the Bible and her faith in Christ and exclaimed, "What! I am nothing like Martha Stewart!" taking it as an insult.  LMBO  I had to explain to her about the scripture talking about Mary and Martha and the two different personalities. (Luke 10:38-42)

I am a bit bumming right now about my work situation.  I love working at the Day Care, even if it was for very little and it wasn't the most economical in gas.  I was getting a paycheck and enjoying what I did.  But the Day Care has been shut down temporally so they can do reconstruction and get up to code better.  Going on to the second week and I am not for sure when it will be back up and running.  We really need the extra money and I will probably have to look for another job.  And you know how I hate the whole job search thing.  So that is all in prayer.

Hoping to be back more this week and get to catch up on all the blog reading I have been missing.  Leave your link!

'07 HOLIDAY HIGHLIGHTS

I had swore to the kids they were not going to get ANYTHING for Christmas this year.  I won't even go into what they did to make me so angry to threaten that.. I can laugh now but at the time I was very upset.  Sophia my precocious little one told one of my friends that it was ok mommy wasn't going to get her anything because on Christmas we go to Grandma & Grandpa's and they always have presents (snot).  So they were very surprised when they got the big gift that they did.

My mom had sent store gift cards this year (lazy lol jk) and that helped go toward buying the PS3.  I also have been working at a daycare so that extra helped too. (I love holding babies all day BTW) But I had to go out on Christmas Eve to shop.. that was CRAZY!!  I hope next year I can afford to plan ahead better.  Now we are so broke.. not sure how I am going to get threw the next week but some how we always do.

We got the girls Blue Ray DVDs to unwrap and I had to play like I bought the wrong kind..oops.  And then when Zane opened Guitar Hero III, I told him it was so he could play over at his friends house who has the PS2..oh no that is PS3, man I have to take that back too, sorry.  So when they opened the PS3 they were totally surprised and I loveeeeee the expressions I got in the pic.

Josh I got a travel digital picture slide show frame so he can take us with him where ever he goes.  I reallylike it and may have to strongly hint for one for Mother's Day or my Birthday.  Josh couldn't wait till Christmas to give me my gift.  He got me a diamond journey pendant necklace.  I love showing it off where ever I go.. "look what I got from my hubby"  and I get lots of ohhs and awws.  The only reason I am not freaked out about it is because he promises he got it on sale at a good price.  My daughters crack me up, insisting that he get me the matching earrings to go with it (i didn't even know there were any).  I bet that is what I get next year.

Josh and I got a night out and had a nice time at his company's Christmas party.  Yummy food and they even gave the wives a $25 credit card gift card.. only bummer was I forgot mine at our table and didn't realize it till the next day. Darn, that was going to pay for my haircut.  Oh well.. someone got extra this year.

For New Year's I left Josh home with the kids and had a girls night out.  We went to a club where my friend knows the owner.  I was wayyyyy underdressed.. everyone was dressed to the nines and dancing.  I had fun spending time with my friends but it was not my scene and prob would of had just as good a time at home.  Another sign I am getting old.

Josh leaves today and I have hardly had any computer time!  Maybe if my work can give me a consistent schedule I can get home Internet back.  But as it is now I make just  enough to help cover the gas and buy some extra groceries.  I am happy though just to be able to help and get back to work and gain any kind of work experience for the resume.

Hope you all had a great Holiday and this year will bring many blessings your way.

lMBO... CHUCK NORRIS APPROVED

My son found this video funny.. silly that he would base HIS vote on a Chuck Norris endorsement, um..well they say Chuck Norris doesn't endorse he tells you how it's going to be.  Me, I am still undecided.

Tags: Chuck Norris, Mike Huckabee

Pastor turns blogger!!

On August 25, 2003 I embarked into the world of Blogging and fell in love with the writing and the connection to others.  Four years ago no one that I knew had a clue what a blog was (and most still don't lol).  Over the years I have tried explaining my place in the blog-o-sphere (as little as it is) to friends and family but get little interest.  What's that country song? I'm Cooler Online? LOL Anyway, it is always exciting to me when people I know off line cross over into having a place in cyberspace.

I have always taken joy in helping baby bloggers and promoting good journals and seeing them grow in writing and readership.  So when my Pastor mentioned that he was thinking of starting his own blog I couldn't help but smile.  FINALLY.. something I know about and can give advice on!  It is just too bad that right now I am not online as regularly as I used to be and my help has to be limited.

I was hoping to get him to start an AOL journal since that is the format that I have found I like the best but I havn't been able to do all the e-mailing I wanted to this week and he took it upon himself to start a Blogspot Blog.  Not such a bad place to blog at.. I know several people who went over there when AOL did the whole adding ads in the journals and infuriated the community, leading to an exodus of many of AOL Journals best writers.  I tried Blogspot for awhile but I find AOL Journals better and easier to use, probably just because it is where I started and I don't like to stray off too much into learning HTLM to add pics and videos.  I like the bells and whistles and control over here.

The least I can do is promote Pastor Jesse's blog, Jesus thru Jesse and ask you guys to check him out and give him some love and encouragement in his new endeavor.  If you like my writings and the notes I post about scripture, then you will love his blog because he is part of the source I quote.  He is posting notes from Sunday sermons and his thoughts and prayers on living a life for the Lord.  The title for his blog was inspired because he wants people to see Jesus living in and working threw him.  I doubt you will find some of the silliness that I post here, he is a serious guy but if you come to know him you will find he does have a bit of humor too, fun loving and always open to answering questions.  I hope that while Josh is away he can read Jesse's blog and keep in touch with what I am learning and what is going on at church and keep growing in his own walk.

So go NOW and check out Jesus Thru Jesse and welcome him to the blogging community!!

Tags: blogging, Jesus thru Jesse, Pastor, AOL JOURNALS, Blogspot

Last month at the abortion clinic...

I' had this entry plotted out in my head for over a month.. just waiting for the opportunity to write and now I am not sure how it will go.  It's something of a note to the prolife community and to those who may want to question why and how they feel the way they do.  A reminder that God IS LOVE and his mercy endures forever and since we are HIS we should imitate that love and mercy.

Last month I had the opportunity to stand down at the down town Planned Parenthood with my "I regret my abortion" sign.  Not something I get to do very often but Zane was taking part in the Silent Siege and I have friends who stand down there weekly so I knew I would not be just down there by myself.  Along with the silent siege and me and my friends there was a cluster of other people there with their own signs and even one guy holding a window blind spray painted "I am pro choice".  Some were down there for the first time with a church group.

I need to remind my self that I really should mentally and spiritual prepare if I go down there again.  I have done this before but this day shook me.  I was only there a few hours but watching those girls go in and out for that short of time and knowing what is going to happen to them and the pain they are bringing on themselves is so dishearting.  And there was so many.  A steady flow of cars driving threw the black iron gates, gates that were designed to keep foot traffic out but to me looked like they were more of pen, rounding up innocents being lead to the slaughter.  I can understand why some who were seeing for the first time firsthand how many go to this clinic would be so up set, feel anger and helpless.  It is one thing to read numbers and statistics on a page but to see it up close and know likely with each car a baby is being killed and a women is being torn into many pieces with in her heart (even if she will not admit it to herself).

There was a smell to the place.. a literal stench.  At first I thought it was my imagination. That maybe because I knew what was going on in that place I had associated a smell to it.  Rotten meat mixed with a burnt crispy smell.  I asked my friend if she smelled it but she said it may but she was there so much that she had gotten used to it and didn't smell it anymore.  Zane told me he thought the place smelled funny too and it was not in my head.

For the most part I stood there in silence holding my sign in front of the gate where the cars came in and out, where it could be read clearly.  Some would look but most turned away in avoidance.  Standing there a pool of emotional turmoil churned with in me.  I wanted these women to know me, see me, believe me, hear my story. I know their pain, the uncertainty as she walks up those steps and the things she has to tell herself to make this "choice" right in her eyes, what others all around are telling her, how she will be better off.. and the lies the clinic workers tell to sell her into a life time of pain and regret. The words and courage welled up in me to call out, "Don't go there, I know and we can help! Let me tell you what it is REALLY LIKE before you go in there so you can make a REAL choice.  If you go threw with this you will be changed for ever!  You will never look at yourself or children the same again !! You will never forget!"

Sometimes a group of the clinic workers stood out side on a balcony, sneering at us and it felt like their gaze met mine the most.  I tried not to meet their glares with hate and disgust but to pray, pray for a heart change.  I had to pray alot to hold on  and hum Jesus Lover Of My Soul to settle me, not letting self condemnations seep back in into me, remind myself I am loved and forgiven and the Lord loves all these people too and as much as my heart is breaking, how much more is Gods.

I didn't talk too much with anyone but overheard bits and pieces of conversations among the others standing.  Some praying, some debating the atheist pro-choicer, some trying to talk with those going in and hand out pamphlets and engaging the escorts.  One of the first timers was standing with his wife talking and holding a sign.  He was becoming more upset as each car passed threw.  Then he muttered at the clinic building "each of these women who go in should come out in a pine box dead, dead just like the babies they are killing"  I stiffened in shock from his hateful words.  As soon as he was done saying it he saw ME and my sign and grew embarrassed. He said to me "Sorry, no offence" and walked away.  I  was too much in shock to go after him and say "They do die afterwards, a piece of me did, they do come out as a shell.. don't you see it?!  Where is your compassion?" I wish I had.  His wife as shocked and embarassed as me looked at me and mouthed the words sorry.  I told her "I was just like them going in.  I know what they are thinking and feeling.  They do this because they believe a lie"

And here comes the point of my whole retelling of this day from a month ago.  I do not know this man's motives and why he was down there.  He may of came to see what it was like and was not prepared.  He may of had an abortion experience in his past and feels anger and loss.  I can try and justify and explain away what he said.  But on that day and at that moment he was a poor example and I hope he realizes it.  It is examples like that, that make this fight even harder, gives the wrong impression to those on the outside looking in.  It feeds in to the twisted media portrayal that the pro-life community are these hypocrites, angry, doesn't care about the women, anti-choicers and there for should be ignored.

I can understand being angry but we must check our heart.  Out of the mouth the heart does speak.   Our heart must be full of compassion, understanding, and love for these people so that when we are confronted with them our words will reflect what is pure, what is lovely and praise worthy, and what is of the truth.

Tags: abortion, Planned Parenethood, protest, prolife, prochoice, mercy, silent siege

Pics from our feast

The Thanksgiving entry

Again here I am ... so much to say too little time to post.  But hubby will be home till Monday so I will hopefully get a bit of journaling in before he leaves again with the laptop and Internet.

It's THANKSGIVING!!! Oh how it has come so fast this year!  Everything this year seems to be breezing by.. is it just me.. am I getting old or what lol.  Remember when it felt like it took forever for Thanksgiving Break to come and when it did it felt like it lasted sooooooo long?  This year it is just Josh and the kids for dinner.  We had planned on having friends from church with their kids over so we bought a 23 pounder Tom but they are expecting and I swear she went into labor last night just to get out of my cooking LOL. (turning out that Josh is doing most of the cooking)  But we are very excited for them and can't wait to meet their baby girl Hadassah (Hebrew for Esther) when she comes.  We may be bringing them some dinner later up to the hospital.

I've just come off of a longgggggggg T.V. break.  It was because we couldn't pay the bill but I like it with out TV.. seems God uses these times to help me get back into the Word and refocuses me.  It is amazing how much I have read applies to all the situations in my life.  This last month I have been in the OT alot... maybe I'll give my thoughts on some of the scriptures I read in a later post.  But my point is I am playing a bit of catch up the last week with my few fav TV shows that started their new season while I was away. I was also flipping threw and landed on Rachael Ray's show.  Not one I am a big fan of but she was talking Turkey.  She showed this yummy looking Pomegranate Molasses glaze for the Turkey.  I insisted we try it on our turkey.  I should of took notes because I couldn't find it ANYWHERE on her website as was promised.  I am not good at explaining recipes to Josh because we have miss communication on that front all the time.  I had to hunt down how to make Pomegranate Molasses because no local store sells it.. only the juice.  FYI.. check a Middle Eastern grocery.  And I had to find somewhere that explained how to mix the glaze and when to apply it.  Thankful for having the Internet!  I'll let you know how it turns out and if it is as good as it sounded on tv.. seems like alot of pepper to me.

I hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving and has much to be thankful this year and the year to come.  I am thankful that we have some how stayed afloat, that Josh has had steady work, that the children are doing well in school and that we are all in good health, and for all of the Lord's good provision.


Here are my notes from last Sunday's service about a Thankful Heart:


Psalm 100 A Psalm of Thanksgiving.

 1 Make a joyful shout to the LORD, all you lands!
 2 Serve the LORD with gladness;
         Come before His presence with singing.
 3 Know that the LORD, He is God;
         It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
         We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
         
 4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
         And into His courts with praise.
         Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
 5 For the LORD is good;
         His mercy is everlasting,
         And His truth endures to all generations.


5 Attributes of a Thankful Heart:

1. JOY  Ps. 100: 1-5, Ps. 19:8 - The Word Of God brings Joy to the Heart, Ps. 126

2. Gladness  Ps 136- be glad because HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER

3. Dependence  God is God and we are not.  God is Greater than his Creation.  As our Shepard he leads us.

4. Thankfulness  can't give thanks unless you are full of it and KNOW HIM and why to be thankful.  Luke 17

5. Gratitude  Rom. 11:33-36  giving glory to God.

Tags: Thanksgiving, Pomegranate Molasses, Rachael Ray