Wednesday, August 30, 2006

School Daze

This is the second week of school already.  The children started last week amidst all the family activity going on.  It was hard to get them into bed and into a routine but all is calmed down now and we are getting there.  All four of my babies are in school now!!!  Crazy.. the time did fly by. 

I am a bit freaked that Zane is in 6th grade now.  He went to the first school dance of the year last Friday (Dare Dance put on by the school safety officers).  I hear he had a great time with his friends and even danced with his friend's sister (he claims just to be nice) but was too shy to ask the 8th grader he has the crush on to dance.  Yes 8th grader.. OMG.. but I guess.. he has always had a thing for older women lol.  Let's pray it is a passing thing!  I think when Josh gets home he will have to have one of those father-son chats with him.  He is starting to break away from me, not telling me all his secrets even if I assure him I won't laugh or make fun or tease.  I think because I made such a big deal out of his first zit I embarrassed him and now he is ski to let me into his adolescent world.  And so it son is turning into a teenager..I pray that he can be spared all the trouble I went threw in those years and takes to heart our warnings and teachings. 

I did over sleep yesterday.. we all did.  We were up late because we had attended a BIG Rally called Christians Against Human Cloning (more on that later).  So I had to take them all into school late.  When I brought the girls in to school Sophia's class was in the hall doing the morning bathroom brake.  Her teacher asked to talk to me for a minuet and explained a problem she seemed to be having with Sophia.  It is embarrassing.. for Sophia and for me because it brings me back to those days.  Sophia has a potty problem.  She waits too long and has an accident.  It happens right.. but apparently when her teacher asked her about it the other day and if she wanted to go to the nurse to change she refused to acknowledge that she had wet her pants and would not go to the nurse.  I guess it was at the end of the day so her teacher let it go since she would be going home but she wanted me to be aware of it. 

After school yesterday I had a long conversation with Sophia about it all.  It turns out she is afraid to raise her hand sometimes to tell her teacher she has to go potty and she is afraid to go to the bathroom at school by herself.  It is too bad they don't have a small bathroom in the kindergarten classes but we have to make due with what we got.  Sophia also said she was afraid to tell her teacher the other day when she did have a little accident because she didn't want to be pointed out in class and have the other kids laugh at her and she didn't want to go to the nurse's office because she did not know where it was and did not want to be lost in school.  (awwww.. it's hard to be so little in such a big building.. been there done that.. I know what she means).  So I had her practice with me raising her hand and telling the teacher she has to go potty and made it clear she needed to do it right when she felt she had to go.. not to wait.  I also explained to her that every one has an accident once in awhile and no one should tease her but if she did that she could raise her hand and ask the teacher to come to her so she could whisper in her ear that she needed to see the nurse and not draw too much attention to herself.  I told her I would send a set of clothes to keep at the nurse's office for emergencies.  This seemed to help and I hope this is a quickly passing thing. I sent a note along to her teacher explaining what I had practiced with Sophia. She hasn't had an accident at home for a while now but I can tell when she needs to go and tell her to go.. she does get involved with what ever she is doing and sometimes needs to be reminded to go.

I must admit this does strike a nerve.. brings me back to my own school daze.. the ones I would like to block out lol.  I had problems too.. either because I was terrified to raise my hand (I was VERY shy) and then waited too long or because of medical problems that were not diagnosed right away.  Kids can be very mean too.. to this day the words echo in my ear "Pee Bea" or "Pee Pot Pants".  Obviously this is not something I talk about often.  So it pains me to see one of my children facing a similar situation. 

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

You can't Pick your family but you can Choose your friends

That seems to be the theme of my life the last two weeks or so.  I had this wonderful, well written post all ready.. but my AOL software froze on me and it is all lost.  Maybe it was a good thing, a cleansing post to get my hurts out and deleted away.  I didn't really name names or get into the nitty gritty details but I am sure those who know the parties I was speaking of could see right to what I was alluding to with my words.

I will just say this.. aside from all the family that I married into dramas.. I had a good time, even if my feelings were hurt from time to time but I have cried a good cry and am over it, trying to anyways. I remind myself of a life lessen I learned long ago and now have re learned it, Don't make your own plans, don't have expectations of how things will turn out or how others will act, it only leads to let downs and heart breaks.  Better to have low expectations, go with the flow and be surprised. I pray for the grace to accept and still love the ones who caused strife and hurt the feelings of me and my husband and his siblings.

I loved having a house full of family and having all the get together.  Adults sitting and visiting, children playing in the back yard and bonding over a game, food aplenty, a small buzz from a wine cooler going.  It was ruminant of olden days of when my family would go over to my Aunt's house for those big family get togethers and BBQs.  I wish it could happen every week or once a month.  Spending time with your family is how life is supposed to be!!

But the out of town guest are gone and won't be back for another year.  Josh is back on the road.  The children have started school.  This big house sometimes feels very lonely with just me and the cat knocking the rooms.  If I dwell on it all I could get very depressed but I will look on the bright side, the stress is over and I can get back to some sort of routine.  I  made this big poster size framed picture colaze of the good times spend over this visit. I know I will often stop in the hallway to gaze at it and remember and ponder and pray for each person in the pictures.

I have so much more to write about.. it has been forever since I written a decent journal post.  I have done so much besides the whole family reunion thing.  I will try and do a productive post each day.  I will try and sort threw my alerts and get up to date with all my blogging friends and online friends.  The desire to be on my computer has faded so much, this is about the first time I have touched it in weeks.  It is weird to feel this way.. I love my computer, I feel so connected to others threw it.  Not sure if this is depression or just LIFE happening.  Maybe I am starting to feel keeping this blog is pointless.. not too many read what I have to say anymore (cant blame them lol I hardly post) and the energy to write honestly, feels drained.  I know I have missed the 3rd year anniversary of AOL Journals and all the cyber celebrations that went on.  My journal has always meant alot to me and I used to be proud I was one of the first in AOL Journal Land.. that I have a big archive full of memories to go back and read any time.

I guess I am sick of dancing around words and not saying what is really on the top of my head.. always worried or wondering how others will feel about what I write or say.. on and off line.  I used to write unabashedly, but over time started to write by a set of my own made up rules, a code of conduct that would make others happy and keep me out of trouble.  I never have wanted my journal to be fake, but to be an honest account of my feelings and the freedom that comes with keeping an open journal, not worried that some one will invade a private one like I had when I was growing up.  I just need to find a balance. 

Monday, August 14, 2006

Pics from our trip.. ya we'v only been home over two weeks now lol

I had two memory cards with me.. and ofcourse I forgot the bigger one with most of the pics from Nebraska in Josh's laptop.  That's ok.. it would be mostly of us at the pool anyway since that is about all we did. Oh ya sure there was some good black mail pictures on there for some of the guys he works with but I am not that way LOL.

I learned soooooooooo much about Harry Truman and I really would love to go back again.  If you ever have the chance I HIGHLY recommend you going.  The war memorial is about when I ran out of room on my camera.  There was alot to see there too and it was adjacent to Missouri State Veteran Memorial and grave yard.  I was very moved by all the history we took in on our way home.


I am almost all ready for the company that is to come into town this week.  Friday I rented a carpet cleaner and got allllllllll the carpets in the house done and got the upholstery attachment and cleaned the couch and the chairs.  I am STILL sore from head to toe and I even had a friend over helping me.  We got the office/den finally all unpacked (pictures soon) and hung shelves and pictures that I had been waiting on Josh to do.  Now all is left is the DEEP cleaning basically.  I was sick in bed all day yesterday so nothing got done and the kids tried to help but as you know when kids try to do something they don't know how to they only make it worse lol but it was cute.

Josh is due in tomorrow at about Midnight.  Then his mom is flying in from Vegas and will be in at the airport at 11a.m. Wed and his older sister and her family are driving in and will meet his mom at the airport and then all drive out to our house.  Then Josh's little sister and her family will be in town Thursday.  Friday Uncle Bob comes in.  Saturday is a baptism for his older sister's daughter (in the Mormon church..ugh) and then a bbq with all his sisters at his Dad's house.  Sunday is church and I am doing that skit again and after church is a big BBQ at my house.  We are going to make it like a BIG Birthday Celebration for all the kids because we are never together on anyone's birthday.  Monday if we are not too worn out and have the cash flow we hope to go to Six Flags.  And then my kids start school (and I have yet to get all the school supplies!!)  I am a bit stressed over some family drama but soooooooo excited to have all this familytogether.  I just want to be a good host and draw close to his family and enjoy our time together. 

So again.. excuse my absence if I am not posting or reading.  I really do miss my computer time and I am sure I can get caught back up after the kids are in school.. I have sooooo much to write about!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

You Are Invited! Rally Against Human Cloning, August 28, St. Louis, Missouri

Dear Friends and Family in The Lord in Missouri,

The stem cell research and cloning issue seems to be coming to a head in our battle ground state and I know for many it is a confusing and difficult subject. This November an initiative has made it on the ballot that in wording makes it look like it will ban human cloning in our state but not block stem cell research and make cures possible but there are other opinions of what this amendment really means. I know many have seen the commercials/ tv programs and gotten mail from the WELL funded group that wishes to see it passed. I ask that you educate yourself on this issue. It is an important LIFE issue and I see it also as a spiritual issue. I hope to attend this informational rally and hope others will to. Please fwd on to others.

(I also have articles and a prepared hand out in Word Docment form if you wish to view it. It talks about this amendment and explains the science and differnace between Adult Stem Cells and Embrionic. If you wish for me to e-mail it to you send me a message with your e-mail addy)

Much Love~


Donald E. Wildmon
Founder and Chairman

You Are Invited! Rally Against Human Cloning, August 28, St. Louis, Missouri

Dear Mary,

You are cordially invited to attend a Rally titled "Christians Against Human Cloning" which will take place Monday, August 28, 7:00 PM at Life Christian Church, 13001 Gravois Rd., St. Louis, Missouri. My friends, Dr. Alan Keyes and Dr. Rick Scarborough, will present urgent information about Human Cloning and the proposed amendment to the Missouri Constitution known as "Research and Cures Initiative." There will be entertainment by Kim Noblett and a nursery will be provided. There is no admission charge for the event.

There will be a complimentary dinner at 5:00 PM for all area pastors and their wives. Please R.S.V.P. by calling 1-866-522-5582. Please share this information with your pastor.

You may call 1-866-522-5582 should need more details about this important event.

Please forward this important alert to all of your friends and family members in the St. Louis area.

If you think our efforts are worthy, would you please support us with a small gift? Thank you for caring enough to get involved.



Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

P.S. Please forward this e-mail message to your family and friends!

Monday, August 7, 2006

HI DAD: My first AOL UnCut Video Post!!


Before my trip I got a cheap (well.. if you call $80 cheap) camera.  I am just discovering the video clip feature and wanted to send Josh a message.  CHECK IT OUT!!!

I would of just sent it to him in an e-mail but to upload the file (and I'm on dsl mind you!) was going to take 15 min. and Josh just doesn't have that good of a connection.  Oh well.. I just wont be able to send him any REAL personal greetings from ME *evil grin*

Saturday, August 5, 2006

Time Keeps on slipping... Into the future

Wow.. where to start.  First off.. Yeaaaahhhhhhhhh... I'm back home!!!  The kids and I got back home from our stint in the big O! late Wednesday.  We took a few side trips on the drive home so it took longer.. I will have pics posted and an entry dedicated to our trip soon.

Secondly.. guess who is guest speaker at the Ladies Group's monthly meeting at church... Yep.. ME!!  I was asked on Mother's Day if I would speak at one of the up and coming meetings and on my drive home Wed. I got the call asking if I could do it this Saturday.  My mind has been swirling with all the info I could give and my own personal testimony and I have been in constant prayer about how God wants me to approach this meeting.  It is not like I have never spoken in front of a group before but this is my HOME church and I have been chomping at the bit for the past 3yrs to speak openly about the subject of abortion with my home church.  So I have been preparing hand outs with tons of info and considering showing a video and just asking the Holy Spirit to guide me.  It is very raw for me right now because this is about the 14th anniversary of my abortion and I was just thinking and processing it last week.  I had happen to be on Josh's laptop and came across the radio interview I had done back in February, so that also helped bring it all to the for front before this call even came.  I think I am all prepared.. I have scriptures ready, info and statics gathered, articles and graphics about the hot topic in my state, Stem Cell Research and my testimony fine tuned.  I just hope more than 3 people show up but I pray even more  that the right people who need to hear this message make it.

I KNOW I am soooooooo behind on all my online friends happenings and it has just come to my attention that the 3 year anniversary of AOL Journals is coming up.  Wow.. almost 3yrs of my life is cataloged in the pages of this blog!!  And this awesome community has had its up and downs but mainly ups.  I am just tickled pink that AOL is going FREE and I won't have to choose between deleting my Journal and getting rid of AOL to save some cash. (more entries on that later)

I have soooooooo much I want to write about.  Current News, Life and Spiritual issues, More new neighbors, Family coming into town in two weeks, kids starting school soon, job or volunteering prospects.. I have alot on my mind and ALOT to say!!!  But time just seems to be slipping away and it is hard to get onto the computer and play catch up from being out of town for almost a week.  I know it will all settle down soon and I will get my chance to get it all out.

As always.. PRAY FOR ME!!!  (((((HUGS))))

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

O! <---- Omaha City's Motto

There must be a reason that I am still here, God's Will, he has a plan.  That is what I am telling myself.  A lesson in patience, in trust?  Something.  Am I supposed to meet someone, talk to some one about something.. am I not looking for those open doors?  Not that I see being stuck here as SUCH a big problem.  I get to see hubby for just a bit longer and the only reason I am wanting to get home is so I don't have to keep paying for the dog to be kept in a kennel.

But.. it is official.. our account is overdrawn because of this snafu.  I am out of gas so I can't take the kids anywhere to do anything.  I have no soda but just enough food to keep the kids at bay.  Josh doesn't get back to the apartment from work till almost 7.  It looks like rain so the pool is out of the question.  The Internet connections sucks here and I can be kicked off with out a moment's notice (I guess that is what happens when you piggy back off some else's wireless signal)

Pray for me!