Friday, October 31, 2003

">                          AOL News - Not Your Father's Witch Who said there was no such thing as witches and its all fantasy?? YES it is a Religion to many many ppl. So don't laugh at me when I say No I do not want my kids reading Harry Potter Books and the alike. Don't go telling me its all Fantasy and fun and I am being a mean parent who spoils everything. I am exercising my rights to protect my young from getting drawn into what is dangerous and satanic to its very core.

Deuteronomy 17:3 And hath gone and served other gods, and worshipped them, either the sun, or moon, or any of the host of heaven, which I have not commanded;

Deuteronomy 5:7 Thou shalt have none other gods before me.

Part 2 (PLEASE READ PART ONE FIRST) my comments.

It is truly sad, that he doesn’t get the part about Love.  The Bible is very Relevant to this time in history and I can see the anger in ppl who choose to miss use it for their own agenda and how that is a poor witness to the World, yet I know that in its very nature the Bible is offensive to the World. so its true message gets lost in all the arguments.  I for one believe being gay is wrong in God's eyes, but that doesn’t mean you will go to hell for that sin, for we all have sin and fallen short of the Glory of God, it is only threw Jesus Christ that we may be saved for those sins.  I do not see the point of putting a monument up that says God Hates Fags, because that is a lie.  He hates the sin but NOT the person.  He loves us all so much, but we turn from him and reject him and his Word.  We rather live on feelings than by faith.  It is sad that this supposed man of God is living on his feelings of Hate, when he is supposed to love all ppl, according to God’s Word.  Anyone can take the Bible and twist it and that is so sad, but there will be more of it coming too. For a falling away is one of the signs of the endtimes.

Part ONE of my comments

You know how those comments boxes never have the room you need to really say how you feel lol So this is mine to MarciaEllenLifeAsItOughtToBe post about Fred Phelps monumant to God hates Fags.  Ugh first let me say if you see that website you will see what the disgust is all about.  I in NO WAY feel that way, God doesnt HATE FAGS, or anyone else.  God loves everyone!  What God hates is sin, and we all have that, we all have fallen short of the Glory of God and have sinned.  God doesnt put sin in catagories and say this one is worse than that one, they are all the same to him. And that is why we needed a saviour, That is why we can never work our way to heaven.

Also commented was that the Bible is not relevent to this time in History. Yes it is, it is just as relavent today as it was 2,000 years ago.  God's word doesn't come back void and if you have the HolySpirit you will understand it is like living water that feeds your soul.  There is confussion over the old and new Testiment too.  The old is where God established his standard to his ppl and shows his charter to those who love him.  The new is where God came to save us from Hell because we can not live up to his standard and would of been separted from him, but in his Mercy and Love, made the sacrifice that made it possible for us to have a relationship with him, not just Religion!  That being said this is what I org. posted in the comment box but ran out of room:


(((MY Kids))

">  Last night was parent teacher conferences for Zane and Annie.  I am soo proud of them!!  Zane got all A’s on his report card! We do need to work on his handwriting and for him to slow down and not rush threw his work she says.  Also he has just a tad bit of a talking problem with another student named Jon.  I said Who is Jon?? He never even talks about him at home, but he talks about other kids.  I was surprised.What is funny is Zane is the only boy with three sisters.  He wanted a brother so bad when he was little that he made up a pretend one named J short for Jon. LOL  Annie’s conference was equally as good, same problems with neatness and handwriting as Zane but other than that she is right on target.  In first grade they don’t get letter grades, it goes by a number system of  1-4. 1 being area of concern and 4 being exceeds expectations.Annie got all 3s!   We went with all four kids with us, so the little ones got kind board. I wanted to stop by the principal’s office but Josh said the kids are too tiered and that I need to pick my battles.  Gurr that frustrates me cuz I know he doesn’t feel as passionate about certain issues as I do.Ya think I would just sit down and shut up? I want to so bad, but God won’t let me.And when you have something on you like that you should NEVER let it go, even when you feel no one else supports you.

Halloween Part 2

Here is a link to part 2 of's daily devotianal.  Check it out.  Here is a taste:

If every Christian worldwide shared their
faith in Christ with 3 people, it would literally turn the world upside down
over night.  The world will be "witnessing" their rebellion of God with
their Halloween parties, their costumes, and satanic services.  THIS IS THE
PERFECT DAY for Christians to witness to this lost world that we live in,
that Jesus Christ is "the Way, the Truth, and the Life."

**gasp** he wants us to take our kids out trick or treating! LOL  go read it all, it is very good. LOL

Thursday, October 30, 2003

More on The Passion

AOL News - Mel's Crusade LOL funny I was just talking about this in my Journal and here it is in AOL news. I was thinking if this is labeled as hate speech then I guess the Bible is next because the Word of God is offensive to the World. I guess that would not be surprising since it is banned in many countries anyway, we can see where the slipper slope is going here in America too.  Satan Doesn't want this movie to be showed or for the Turth of God's Word to be spoken.

This is called List yourself or the THE LIST

Saw this in another journal, and this kind of goes along with an old entry called what do you find your Identity in(read that too)

 List places in your mind when u want some peace& quiet- The deep Wisconsin Woods, Clouds in bright blue sky and my Bed.

 List what goes through your mind just before u fall asleep- Mostly fall asleep to the t.v. playing but often I look over and smile at my sleeping hubby or friends will come to mind who I need to pray for.  Events of the day wound down.

List all the promises u keep making to yourself- I will stop smoking soon.  I will take better care of the house tomorrow; In God’s strength I will raise all four of these Kids right.

List typical daydreams- Depends, I often will play out a meeting that will take place that day and pray about it (girl scouts, or stuff for school or church) I daydream a lot about when the Lord will return and the events that have to happen before that can take place. Often I think on scripture.

List what u wish for when u see a shooting star, or drop a coin in a fountain-   I don’t wish, If I want something I go right to MY Father with it and I know he hears me and will in his will grant me my heart’s desire.

 List all the people who love u for who u really are- Jesus, and I can’t say for sure if everyone knows who I really am but him.  Sure we may say we know ppl, but can we really?  He is the only one who sees me the way I truly am, he sees my heart.

List what always makes u laugh- a good joke, innocent questions from my kids, tickles from my husband

List all the names you've been called, endearing or not so- HunyBea, Bea, Blue Eyes, Shortie, Blonde Doe, Child of God, Daughter to the King, Princess, Brat, Bea Bop, Wild Child, Mom, Mommy Bea.

List people u wish u hadn't trusted- The Devil. I can’t really think of anyone else cuz, why yes I have been burned in the past but I am happy I was a trusting person, cuz it is much better to always think the best of ppl than to always think the worst.

List compliments u receive on a regular basis-   Na, too embarrassing but if you want to leave some in the comments area lol I wont stop you.


 List attitudes &habits you had to give up- Pride, I know best attitude, I can rely on myself and don’t need help attitude.

 List all the loves that got away- hee heee that could be a long list!  But I will list the two main ones:  Michaela (MIKE) Dee Millar (aka Shakey Dee, have ya seen him??) Brian Steinberg (my friend from JR. High’s Brother) My first loves, who will have a special spot, but can not compare to what I have with my Husband now.

What would you say if the ones that got away showed up in your life again- lol Isn’t that everyone’s day dream, to see your ex and show that you have moved on with out them but yet you still are a better person for knowing them.  Brian was my “first” and I had a super big crush on him for ever, he was so sweet and understanding, a big teddy bear. Mike was my first love, who put me threw Hell thinking I could be the one person who would make the differnance in his life, but really it was him who needed to change and not me trying to change him and his bad ways.  He was in jail for more than half of our relationship. But OH the Love Letters.  I have been blessed to of been loved by some really sweet guys and am who I am in part because of them but it was never on the Level that I have with my husband Josh and OH HOW I wish I would of waited for him to come into my life instead of tasting all that was out there first. A lot of hurt could have been prevented.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Org. Of Halloween part 1.

Today's's Daily Devotional is a two parter.  Today Bill Keller goes into the org. of Halloween and why it is not something Christians should take part in.  Here is an excerpt:

The pagan Celts believed on that day, the disembodied spirits of all those
who had died throughout the preceding year would come back in search of
living bodies to possess for the next year. It was believed to be their only
hope for the afterlife. The Celts believed all laws of space and time were
suspended during this time, allowing the spirit world to intermingle with
the living.

Click the link to read the full devotianal, and if you feel lead, sign up for it to come to your inbox each day.  Tomorrow he will be covering the Christian responce to this "Holiday".

Tax money at work here.

Backspin Look how our tax money is being spent...."PASSIA produced a booklet to educate Palestinian activists how to effectively manipulate the media. It includes this suggestion:

In order to influence the general policy in one way or another, all [Palestinian organizations] should know how to influence the media. The best known way to do this is to come up with a hidden agenda, and deciding on the most suitable time to release information to the media in order to direct the media towards a predetermined slogan, a defined demand. The best method for exerting pressure, is to transform a problem into a public opinion issue, using the media.""

Go to the link to read the whole story on Backsping's Weblog.


Who Killed Christ???? I DID, AND SO DID YOU!!!

Tonvia Singer Show 

Will 'The Passion' Crucify the Jews?

OMG I do not think I have been so upset over some one's opinon as I am now.  How I came upon this link I do not remember, but basicly this guy is like a Jewish Rush Limbaugh.  He is talking about the movie The Passion, a movie Produced by Mel Gibson.  I have read how alot of Jewish Leaders have denounced this movie because it puts the blame of Christ's death on the Jewish ppl and there is a fear that Anti-Semitic ideas will come alive and that there will be more hate crimes aimed towards the Jews.  ( I think we all know where that fear comes from, the PITS OF HELL)

A true Christian knows that you are to bless the Jewish ppl and to curse them is to bring a curse on yourself.  If you understood what the Gospel truely means they would see that Not only the Jews are resposible for the death of Jesus, but ALL MEN are.  He was put on that cross for all our sins.  And yes God used the Jews of the time to bring about his death, but this was to fullfill prophecy, so if we are to go further we see that it was God himself who put the Lord in a place to be put up on that Cross, because he could of stopped it anytime, but he choose to forsake him so that we may have reconsilation with him.  HE CHOOSE THE NAILS FOR US!  He didn't have too, but he did!  The Gospel is for the Jews first and then the Gentiles.  The first church was Jewish, Jesus was Jewish.  Ask Jews for Jesus, they will tell you its very Jewish to belive in Yeshua as Messiah.  Go see the movie and decied for yourself!

For His Name's Sake

         When I became a Christian I was not fully aware of the cost but that is fine, cuz I gladly gave him everything, my whole life.  But when I started loosing friends and noticing I was the outsider I was surprised.  But then I read my Bible and came to understand why and that this is to be expected. Matthew 10:22 And ye shall be hated of all [men] for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.Matthew 19:29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.Luke 21:12 But before all these, they shall lay their hands on you, and persecute [you], delivering [you] up to the synagogues, and into prisons, being brought before kings and rulers for my name's sake.John 15:21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.

No I am not facing death(yet) and not blantanly being discrimated agenst (yet).  It is the little things that stick out and recently it has been one thing after another.  But I am encouraged.  And I have to remember it is not ME that is being rejected but the ONE who lives with in me. And I got to wonder if you are a Christian and are not facing these things, why is that?  Are you conforming to this World too much? He will reward me for each tear I cry, and for each hurt that I endure.  Even if there was not a reward in Heaven, it wouldnt matter to me, because the gift of salvation is reward engh for me.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Eventful Day

Been one of those days with ups and downs.  The best part ofcourse is I am an Auntie again!  Mom said that the girls are in good health but will be in the neat-o-natail unit for a day or so and that one may have a heart murmer but they are watching them close.  As soon as my mom e-mails me the pics I will share them.  I can't wait to see them.  So I am a bit sad that I am way down here and not able to be there to help or share in my sisters joy.  I don't think I can make a trip up there now, but I told mom if she wanted to bring Marcy's older girls down for a few weeks that I would take them.  Marcy said she was going to name the twins Destiney and Deja (not sure thats how she is spelling them, she can be so ghetto lol).

Also today I took my older kids to the docs for thier check up so they can go to wresling practice next week.  He said I need to get thier vision check (great).  Then I signed them back into school and as I was walking out I noticed thier board with all the school clubs on it, and yes you guessed it Zane's club was not included.  I walked back to the office and asked about it, asked if only school sponsored clubs are on there, yep.  Ok confrances are coming up and I will for sure be making a meeting with the school Princaple over this issue, especaily since she didnt respond to my letter I sent her.  So already fumming over that issue I come online to more of them with a group I am apart of.  I will surely go into that in another post, for lack of room here but the short of it is clash of world views (ofcourse what else is new seems like that is all I have been dealing with lately and its getting me down, but I will rely not on my strenth but the Lords)

Monday, October 27, 2003


My sister Marcy called me and told me that she is going into the hospital tonight and that they are giving her a c-section tomorrow to deliver the twins. She is dialated to 2cm.  One of the baby's water broke and is not turned right to do deliver naturaly. She made it to 35 1/2 weeks. I am so excited yet I know Marcy is not fully ready yet for these babies to be here.  It's all good and God will work it out.  I wish I could be there with my sister but mom will be there with her. They live in Milwaukee and I live down here in the St. Louis area.

Marcy is only 22 and has two children already.  When she found out she was pregnet again she was shocked because she was on birthcontrol and swears she took it right.  She is inbetween relationships right now, and has sex on the rebound.  Well actualy she isn't 100% sure of who the father is. Drama Drama.  But when she found out she was having twins she flipped, she has no idea how she is going to handle two babies on top of the two wild girls she has now.  I promised her it will work out and be ok.  I am trying to talk her into moving in with us and she could live downstairs but for her that would be a big move.  Anyways I am excited.  Please pray for her tonight.

Part 2 (when will they make it so we have more room!!!!)

I am not talking about any one person here; this is just a complied list that has been running in my head lol.  Why is it that it can be so very clear to me that each answer is pointing them to God and all they want is to wallow in it? Why would they rather listion to lies than truth?

But I know That God doesn’t give up on people, he didn't give up on me.  So here I am going to pray about it and give it all over to God and not worry about it.

Lord, help me.  Help me not to become cold and calus.  Help me to love ppl and to see them the way you see them.  Help me to cast all my cares to you, to give it all over to you.  I know you have a plan for each life and that you have things undercontrol.  Yet I know you give ppl choices and it hurts to see them making the wrong ones.  I know it grieves you even more than it does me.  So help me not to just throw my hands in the air and give up on the ppl you have laid on my heart but to keep on loving them and showing them your Love.  Shine in me Jesus.  Take out of me what ever is not of you and replace it with all of you.  I give you my life, I give you my heart, I take each thought captive and conform it to your Word.  Grow me in you.  IN JESUS NAME I PRAY. AMEN.


Just venting not that it matters, no one listions to me anyways lol

Compassion.  We are to have a heart of compassion even when we are being spit on and despised for what we believe.  It is a good thing I am not God lol for surely I would have thrown my hands up in the air and said let them be, they do not listen to me and they like being miserable.  But He did not do that and doesn’t do that, and I shouldn’t either.  But ugh.  When you see some one leading down to the path of destruction and you warn them or show them what God has said and they shrug their shoulders only to come back later crying why is everything so horrible now, it gets frustrating.  Not that I don't love ppl and I DO NOT want to get a hard cold heart. If you love your husband, then don’t cheat on him in your mind with some one, don’t make that deep emotional connection with anyone else, even if you don’t have sex it is as if you where, how would you feel if your husband did the same thing.  If you don’t want to be deceived then don’t go to Pyicis and put your faith in them instead of God.  If you want to be happy don’t focus on your self but on God.  That person in your life mistreating you and you are starting to hate them? Don't hate them but feel sorry for them, pray for them and surprise them with kindness.  Your depressed cuz you don’t "feel" like you are hearing from God? Don’t base your faith on "feelings".  It isn’t anyone’s fault that you are miserable, its not Gods fault.  People are miserable when they walk away from him and close their eyes and ears.  When they reject his Word and take mans words and theories instead.  When they live in rebellion.  When they love their sin so much they prefer it over the Peace and Happiness they can have with a true relationship with God.

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Anal Retentive

"> LMBO!  Some how today Josh and I got into a conversation about what it means to be anal retentive.  I was talking about a certain family member and made the comment that Ya he is kinda of anal retentive.  And Josh the smarty pants that he thinks he is asked "DO you even know what the means?"  Ofcourse I do, I took Psyc in school and we covered that, so I told him basicly its when a kids mom forces potty training on him or her and it messes them up and they get all obbsesive about it and that leads to how they behave and see things and such. Why you think I don't force training on the kids, and take our time?? But ofcourse Frued blamed everything on the parents ya know lol. Josh's jaw droped cuz he had no clue that it was refering to potty training.  He thought it ment that some one was all stuffed up and couldnt um, poop lol.  Heehee  Who is the smarty now!


adj :  characterized by personality traits (as frugality and obstinacy) held to be psychological sequelae of toilet training - compare ANAL2b   anal retentiveness n  anal adj 1  :  of, relating to, or situated near the anus  2 a  :  of, relating to, or characterized by the stage of psychosexual development in psychoanalytic theory during which the child is concerned esp. with its feces  b  :  of, relating to, or characterized by personality traits (as parsimony, meticulousness, and ill humor) considered typical of fixation at the anal stage of development -Psychoanal.the second stage of psychosexual development during which the child, usually at two years of age, becomes preoccupied with defecation.

Friday, October 24, 2003

"> Annie my first grader crying her eyes out this morning cuz she dosn't have a costume to wear to her party at school today.  She wanted to be a bride, but dosnt tell me till this morning.  We don't dress up for Halloween and so we dont have costumes on hand ya know.  This is frustrating to see my baby cry, but I tell her that I love her and that we are differnt from others, just cuz some ppl do things, dont mean we have too.  We are set apart and Jesus will reward you for every tear you cry. (will have to go into that in another post)"Blow it off, Blow it off" I was screeming in my head this morning.  But NOooo I had to be resposible and make my commitments. I had a 10'oclock meeting this morning and half an hour to get me and the girls dressed for it and make it there.  I signed up to be on the commitie for the G.S. niehborhood December party.  I didn't think it was going to be a big deal, I have helped plan stuff before with Head Start.  Then I went to the Birthday Bash last Friday and saw how big a deal those things can be.  Over 150 girls came to that function!  And they say that not all the troops in our area regestred and that the December one will be even bigger. We are planning on at least 200 girls. YIKES And we have to have this planned by Nov. 11th's Leader meeting so we can hand out the fliers.  So I go to the meeting with my 2yrd and 3yrd girls in tow.  I asumed that since this was for Girl Scouts that these would be with all moms with younger kids like me.  Wrong! Don't ever asume anything, cuz like Ross on Friends say "When you asume you make an Ass out of U and Me" lol  All older mom's with older kids and ones getting ready to have grandkids.  The house we met at was one of those Look but Don't Touch houses.  Not little kid friendly at all and there was nothing to keep my girls occupied while we planned.  So I spent most of my time chasing them and trying to get them to sit and color or something.  Finaly I just said "Give ME A JOB to do, cuz I got to go."  I am so disapointed cuz I was looking forward to be involved more. 

Thursday, October 23, 2003


TheJournalDirectory Here is the directory for the Born To Blog group I am apart of. Wow she did a wonderful job with this site!! I know that there must be more to come cuz the membership has been growing. And I found some new journals that are way cool. Check it out and if you want to join click the last link in my other journals section.

On the Welcome Screen

AOL News - Interview With Barbara Bush
Who knew lol Barbra Bush the org. Blogger LOL
Lary King: Why did you write this?
BARBARA BUSH, FMR. FIRST LADY: Well, I wrote it because I keep a diary. And I wrote it because people ask us all the time, What happens to old presidents and what do they do? Well, that's a good question. George Bush does everything.

Elizabeth Smart and her family speak about thier ordeal.  I only glanced at this one cuz it is kinda hard for me to read as intresting as it is.  For one it brings back all that that happen with my sister and her daughter.  That took place just a few months before the Smart case I think (if I am remembering right) so I get teary eyed over that.  Also I know how my sister would NEVER capitalize off of what happen to her and Jasmine and it is kinda disgusting to me that that is what the Smarts are doing.  Affter my niece was found all they wanted to do was get back to normal life and GET OUT of the media headlights, and the media did not make that easy. And also now the Smarts are going to become the poster ppl for the Morman Church. A cult that some how has gotting into ppls minds that they are a bonefied Christain Denomination. Something I have talked about before but dont feel like getting into right now. Sadly my sister-in-law and her husband are part of this "church".

Anyways. Saw those few things tonight and felt lead to say my bit about it LOL.  Leave your comments ")

SEPINTX | The Website | Journals What a cool site. You can have your journal listed in a directry with others. Saved so I can have an easy way to get to them :) If you have a blog add yours here!!!

(part 2) When friends grow apart

 When I became a Christian, Right away S started in on me about it. I was not prepared for confirntation and at the time was nocked off kilter when he started to grill me.  So yes untill I became stronger in the Lord I put some distnace there, but I never told Josh not to talk with him or see them.  And he did still go and see them and hang out with them.  And in time I too went over there and we would just hang out like old times.  I admit I fell to temptation and smoked out with them some and maybe drank more than I should of.  I was still growing. But I have always loved them, and tryed not to be too preachy or come on strong.  In fact I never was the one to bring it up lol S always did. He has made progress, at least now he admits there is a God, but he can't wrap his head around the concept that Jesus died for all and that to recive him, no matter how bad your sin is, that you will be forgiven.  He dosn't think it is fair that the really really bad ppl should get a second chance or that God can be so cruel cuz he lets all this suffering go on to inocent ppl. ( I could do a whole other post on that lol). I know God is working on S heart and I know he has been burned in the past by religion while he was growing up.  But I know one day God will break threw that wall.  Anyways back to my point.  I called them last weekend because of Zane's birthday party.  They have never been out to our new house and I so wanted them to come.  All I got was the voice mail.  I also as an after though(thats a lie, I prayed really hard before I even picked up the phone) invited them to church because I was going to get up and speak and give my testimonybut I knew they wouldn't come. Still didn't get a call back.  And I did e-mail them my webpage and a nice note about how much we miss them.  Still nothing.  I am not deance but I would like to assume that they are busy with thier lives and it is hard to pick up the cell or type a responce to an e-mail.  But saddly I think this is one of those friendships that has slipped away in to the OH I once knew them files.  But they are in my hearts and in my prayers always. I know that the world will hate us for Christ's name sake and that loosing this friendship hurts but it should be expected. 

When friends grow apart (1)

I have moved around in my life and have friends that live all over.  Sometimes we talk alot or some times will go for years.  And that is cool, cuz I know all I have to do is pick up the phone and they will be there.  Those are the friends that you hide in your heart and when they come to mind you smile.

But today I am thinking of a friendship that my husband and I had with another couple who lives here in our area, not even a 45 min. drive. S and B (not going to use names here) When we first moved here to the St. Louis area 7yrs ago, they reached out to us and befriended us.  They where the first neighbors we ever talked to.  We hardly knew them and they gave our two kids at the time Christmas gifts.  Very touching to us.  Josh and I where like only 20 and they where about 10 yrs or so older than us.  But they where still kids at heart lol but they taught us alot about life and we partied with them and have such good memories with them. They taught us to apreshate wine and good food, they taught us about camping and grilling and showed us where all the good party spots in the area are. They got us into keeping fish and snakes, something Josh still talks about getting back into.  Our kids called them Aunt and Uncle and they loved them.  Even when we moved on the other side of town we still went to see them on the weekends and hung at thier place.  And they would come for the kids birthday parites. And I don't think it was just the parting but also we shared in each others sorrows.

We love them very much still.  It has been since the begining of summer since we have seen them and I think we have talked on the phone a few times but not much of anythng of substance ya know.  It makes me sad that we have grown so far apart.  And even sadder that I know the reason.  The rift started when we did move, but distance wasn't the problem, it was when I changed, when I fell in love with the Lord. 

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Lame? lol

It is sad and I know it, but I am one of those ppl I guess that craves feed back. lol  I know by my counter that atleast 25 ppl have read my testimony, or atleast that is how manytimes it has been visited.  So I have added a guestbook to that site.  Please if you have gone there before and read it, check it out again and leave your message.  THANK YOU.  I KNOW I AM SO LAME LOL.


1000 points for FyreCracker!!!! :) and bonus 500 for finishing the song! lmbo.

This movie takes me way back.  When I see it it makes me think of my Grandma's in Tomahawk Wis.  It was one of the very first movies we ever rented. I could very well of been the girl in the movie, frustreated with real life and wanted an exit into fantacy.  I would of gone for the evil Goblin KING in a heart beat!  What a stupid girl lol.  Yes that is who I would have wet dreams over, all those evil bad guys, dracula, and the bad guys from Superman and so on. lol But always in the end the good guy came in to save me from myself.  Wow what a parell to what really happen!

Satan says come, I have a way to make you happy, I have a way for you to get away from this pain.  Take my hand and hear my lies.  Oh but nothing is what it seems and it is a trap to follow him.Sure he may seem like the way to go and oh so much fun, till the fun turns into worse hurts than the org. pain you are trying to get away from. And then in a flash of lighting on a White horse the True Lover of my soul (Jesus) came in to save me from myself and the lies of Satan and his traps!

Childhood memories from Movies

"You remind me of the Babe.  What Babe? The Babe With Power.  What Power. The power of voodoo.  Who Do? YOU DO. What? Remind me of the Babe." LOL.  1000 points to who can guess where THAT SONG IS FROM.

With our fav. place to rent movies from on strike STILL I have broke down and bought some cheaper DVDs.  And it seems like all the ones from the background of my life pop out at me.  Stand By Me, RoboTec, the one from where that above song is from(clue, David Bowie is in it).  If only they would put Jem out on DVD lol.  I love sharing these with my kids and it brings me back to what was going on when I first seen those movies.  Some good thoughts, but mostly bad.  It's ok cuz I have surpressed alot and when it comes up I like to think it threw and deal with it.  What are some of your fav movies from the background of your life???  Share!  I will never forget when we was about 10yrs and i miss read the tv guide and thought it said A Night On Elm Street. lol Nightmare On Elm Street!! And my parents let us watch it!!! BOy did we tourcher my little sis for years over that movie.  She wouldn't take a bath by herself for months! lol

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

15 hours of Fame. Did you enter????

Ugh. Before I went off line I rushed threw entering my journal for that 15 hours of fame thing. Now that I have read this article in ByTheWay about it I see that I totally messed up. lol I submitted my whole journal, when you are only suposed to submit one journal entry. lol Oh well. I really didn't think I would be picked anyways, but it is sure fun wondering if you got the stuff. I dought even if I did do it right they would jive with my subject matter and my world view to make it to the Welcome Screen. And that is fine with me I guess. This journal is for me anyway and if I bless others that is a bonus. Humm maybe I should rethink that and make it the other way around? This journal is for everyone, to speak into your life, and if I am blessed that it is a wonderful side product lol.

Celebrating Excellence in AOL Journaling - The People's Awards How do you nominate some one's journal? humm I have a few favs that I know deserve some recognition lol. And as nice as it would be to be nominated lol I will not hold my breath lol. I might get a big head. My pride is something I am always trying to keep in check

Bits and pieces from last week

Alot of catching up to do here. lol I don't think I will be able to do it all in one day ofcourse.  I will try to stick to the major things.  The biggest one is my testimony.  When I sat down to write it I did not plan for it to get that deep and I surley didn't plan on bearing all that I did but that is what found it's way on to my computer screen and that is what I knew I had to share.  I read it all to those at church on Sunday.  I was a bit nervous ofcourse, but God was with me. I tell ya ppl there didn't know 95% about me and my past and now they do, and they still LOVE me.  Org. my pastor had planned on me doing it next week, but I could not sit on it and had to get it out, so he let me take some one else's place Sunday.  And it worked out just as it should of.  The right ppl where there who really needed to hear what God has done in my life and what he could do in thiers. If you read it, please leave your feed back!  And if it touches your heart and you would like to learn more about Christ, e-mail me.

Other events that happen.  I missed the Randy Travis concert for a Girl Scout function with my daughter Annie.  My husband got to go with our other 3 kids.  He said he enjoyed it but would never do that again with out me there to help with the kids. I kinda get mad about that cuz he was lucky to go and here he is complaining about it. oh well.  Also he sighed up Zane and Annie for Wrestling and for him to be a coach.  This was NOT cheap and let me tell ya, this is going to be a very busy winter for us.  I tryed to ask Annie if she would prefer taking dace over wrestling but no, she wanted to do it. lol It is not new for girls to be in wrestling, dont get me wrong, but I want her to be my girly girl, and here she is turning into a tomboy.  lol I will get over it.

Mary's Testimony, Who I was before..

Look who's back in AOL Town lol as if she really left in the first place.

">               Yesssss I am back.  I could not stay away any longer!  Really I had two more days to make it a week but God help me, it was just too hard and instead of feeling the guilt of peaking and cheating I decieded it was time to return lol. I missed you all and everytime I thought of getting on line to check up on you I said a prayer instead for you.  I look forward to catching up and seeing what's been going on with you all.  I have mass mail in my box and no way am I going to read it all.  I did see that there is some drama going on in the blogging group.  LOL Ofcouse, would we have it anyother way?! We take these journals way too serious but hey that is ok, it is part of us now and there is not much we can do about it.

I wrote out my testimony and it is like 4 pages long!! No way will it all fit in here, but it is so important and I can not edit it or take out a single  line lol so I plan on making it one of my webpages and putting  a link in an up and coming post.  Ya, I know you are holding your breath for that one right?! lol 

Now that I am back I am hopping that I learned my lession and will stay to a scedule and not become obsessive with this computer stuff lol.  And I have learned the computer is not an idol for me but a tool I use to help me and others reach out.  It doesnt come between me and the Lord.  But I also must remember to not let other things fall to the wayside too.  Ok.  going to work on that webpage.  Tell me how much you have missed me lol in the comments area! jk

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

I will miss YOU all


Ok this is the last entry, no really. lol  I just want to tell you all how much I love you and will miss your witty comments and your journals.  Each of you have spoken into my life and I thank you.  I look forward to coming back and reading how you miss me and don't know how you can make it with out my daily insperation. LOL jk.

While I am gone and if you happen to find your way back to my spot, check out some of my old entrys that you may of over looked.  LOL There is a lot of insite to who I am in them.  A week can go by so fast or go so slow.  But I will never know untill I take that step hey?  I plan on God doing some mighty things while I am gone, so I will have alot to say when I get back " ) While I am gone I will be holding each of you up in prayer and asking God to move in your lives.  I will come back expecting some deep entrys from you guys as well.  So....



"> Ok I will make this one of my last entrys before I am off for a week. Thanks Randy for the support and saying it is like sharpening my pencil lol. good 1.

I talked with my friend Mitchele last night. Oh how I wish I could put a big praise report here saying that she turned her heart to the Lord and her life is about to change but no that is not what happen.  She did keep her promise to God and went to her dad's church Sunday, but she saw it as a deed and nothing more and dosnt plan on going back in the short term.  Oh I am sure she will go for Christmas and such but still No relationship there. You do not know how sad this makes me, but I know God has a plan.  Please friends who pray, keep her in your prayers.

On a liter note, I got an e-mail from my pastor yesterday. Sunday I went to him and asked for forgivness because I was complaining on the way the Leardership was going and I was vocal about it to some friends.  During service God laid it on my heart to repent for that and to tell Bill I am sorry. It is hard to be obediant sometimes, and this was one of those times.  But Bill is the most aprochable man ever and he was happy I obeyed and forgave me with arms wide open.   Anyways he sent me an e-mail telling me that He knows God is going to use me big and that he has heard complements about my growths from others.  awww how embarassing. lol  He also asked me to think about giving a Testimony at church in the next few weeks. So while I am off of here I will be also praying for God to give me the words for that.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Call to prayer. Valley Of Decision

AOL News - High Court to Decide Pledge of Allegiance Case  WE ALL need to be in prayer over this.  If this is struck down, think of where it will lead.  I have the feeling that it will be too, considering the courts past rulings on separation of church and state and who is on the bench.  This should lead to a large outrage, disturbing that it is even and issue but sign of the times.  It is time for many Americans to get off the fence, the Valley of Decision will be coming soon. Are you hot or cold or lukewarm?  It is a sad place we have come to when we say God Bless us, but will not live a life pleasing to him for him to bless us and not recognize his authority over our nation.Joel 3:13 Put ye in the sickle, for the harvest is ripe: come, get you down; for the press is full, the fats overflow; for their wickedness [is] great.14 Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision: for the day of the LORD [is] near in the valley of decision.

About time for a fast

">                                Ugh!! This blinkie is way too true!!

Become obbsessed with this music thing and among other fun computer stuff, has totaly left my house trashed.  Not a good thing.  This is half the strugle I have with my husband and my computer time.  He would not care so much if I kept up my half of the bargin and keep the house up.  I am a stay at home mom and you would think I could do that, I have all day right. But bluntly I do not know how to keep a routien cuz I just was not raised that way (THATS RIGH BLAME MY MOM!) lol  Lazy me, that is my biggest sin and I repent daily on that, and ask the Lord to help me in that area.  I am about ready to do an internet fast I think!  This journal and other computer stuff has taken my focus for some time, and I find myself lacking in way too many areas.  I have done a fast from the computer before and learned that the World Wide Web will still spin with out me there and my online friends will remember me when I do come back. lol  But I also learned that time away from the puter is also more time drawing closer to God and I come back refreshed and able to give more to others.  So it's just not for me ya see, its for your benifit also :D    humm I think I will start it tomorrow.  I promise to make at least one more entry before I go off for a week. 

Monday, October 13, 2003


LOL It is not suposed to be this hard to do a simple thing like put music in the back ground.  I think I am giving up.  Spent 2 full days working on it to no avail!!!  BUT THANK YOU TO ALL THE SWEET PPL WHO TRIED TO HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 ">Got a Blog? Join Us!

Hover over that for a sec to see a note


Sunday, October 12, 2003

aww thanks to those who tried to help me out tonight with the back ground music thing.  As of now I am at a loss lol.  Will take it back up tomorrow cuz I got some really great songs that would so enhance this journal lol really!  I am so worn out and stompping my feet saying "NOT FAIR" WHY CAN SHE DO IT AND NOT ME!  Oh well. :P

AOL News - State Department Decries Robertson Nuke Quote Am I the only person annoyed with this gracing my welcome screen? How do they pic these little tidbits to share? And who cares? Why not also put up there the quotes from some of the most outlandish Muslim Leaders and what they say? Oh sure no this isn't politically driven either right? "Robertson, a Bush supporter " What? why was that enclosed in this bash? And to take ONe out of hundreds of comments and highlight this one? Please. And NO I do Not watch the 700 club nor Do I support Pat in anyway, Just annoyed that is all lol. Who said there was NO bias in the media???????


Today is my son Zane's 9th Birthday!!!!!  Wow, where did the years go?  I got out the photo book and looked at his baby pics.  He is sooooo big now. (wipping a tear away now)  As each mom will sayabout thier kids I am sure but, he is so specail, so wonderful, and I am so proud of the man he is growing up to be.

I was just 17 when I had him and didn't have a clue.  But I knew he just had to be born, there was a reason and if I had to do it alone I would of, but Thank GOd I didnt have to.  After the shock worn off, the idea of a first grandchild was a welcome addition.  He was the first on each side of the family.  I will not say it was easy but with all the support I got from my family and help from Josh, it sure seemed that way.  And as they say, he was a good baby.  Even more special, my dad got to see him and love him before he passed away from lung cancer.   A very Happy baby. Almost always smiles.  I remember we could not sit by the salda bar at restraunts cuz he would Talk To EVERYONE who walked by and they would have to stop and talk back at him.  When he was very little I had ppl all the time come up to say that I should get him into modeling. lol And oh so smart too.  He talke in full sentences before 1! We thougth this was normal till we had Annie. Before we knew it was wrong we got his aura read and if I remember right they said he was very specail, and stood out.  And even now in the chruch you can tell he has a real heart for the Lord and that God has great plans for him.  All his teachers he has ever had love him.  lol aside from being too talkative he is a great student.

He is my only boy and the oldest, and I think maybe some times I am too hard on him for that.  But he has such a gentle heart that he always forgives when he is wronged, always ready to give hugs and say he is sorry when he has hurt anyone (never on purpose ofcourse lol)  I could not of asked God for a more wonderful child, and I am so thankful and honored that he choose me to be Zane's mother. (balling here)

Check out the alblum I put together of Zane threw the years.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Addicting - Flash and Java games Thanks to a link I found on Remember To Breath's Journal I found this new out let and am addicted. Check out some fun games to pass away the weekend.

Friday, October 10, 2003

PART 2 He does work in mysterious ways

I said you probably won't get that and maybe over your head but he needs to turn to God, pray for a heart change in himself and his wife.  He has to choose who he is going to listen to, God or the Enemy.  She interrupted me and said well actually.. I PRAYED TO THE LORD THE OTHER DAY AND GOT WHAT I ASKED FOR! I was stunned, and thought maybe she was kidding and said "Oh ya, what did you pray for weed? lol" She laughed and made a joke but said NO. Her and Jared got pulled over the other day and as the cop was walking up to the car she prayed out loud to the Lord, that they would please not get a ticket and if he would grant her this she would go to church on Sunday. She said they didn't even get a written warning so she is going to Church Sunday. OMG I don't know if I should just shake my head and laugh or Praise the Lord that she will be in Church Sunday. He does work in mysterious ways. Maybe this is her turning point? \o/and answers to my prayers for her. I suggested to her to try a non-denominational church this Sunday. She blurted out WHAT IS THAT?! and NO I am Lutheran lol. I explained to her what that is and that its OK, its all the same to God. She said she would think about it and turned the conversation back to her dad. She asked me how would she go about telling him what I just told her to say. I said just tell him that you are thinking of getting back into church and that you look to him as the Spiritual Leader of his house and he is an example to her and take it from there, he will respond to that.

God I pray that she will learn that its not about the church you go to or about just going to you when she is in need, but that this will start a path to a true understanding of who you are and your desire for a real relationship with Her. Turn her heart Oh Lord. IN JESUS NAME I PRAY. AMEN.

Part 1

I talked with one of my friends from Wis. last night, Michele. She is a dear friend from back in the days. She married my husband's best friend from HighSchool and anytime we get back that way we always spend time with them. We go threw spurts where we will talk all the time to eachother or go for months without a call. I called her last week as she was leaving for work and she promised to give a call Sunday lol well she did finally call anyway and I am so glad she did. We did the little chitchat and catching up and then it took a more serious tone. She was seeking advice about her dad. She has always referred to her dad as a religious crazy guy and that he was a bit nuts, but she was really concerned about him. It seems that he is very unhappy right now in his marriage because his wife is an alcoholic and a chronic weed smoker. He confided in Mitchell that he was having bad thoughts about maybe cutting her breaks or he was thinking of ending his own life. He has never opened up to Shell this way and it
has freaked her out! For her dad to talk this way is very much out of charter. I asked what she said to him. She didn't know what to say to him but she did call his pastor and I think that was very bold of her and a correct step, cuz you cant just let something like that go. But she asked my opinion. More back ground on Shell.. She was raised Lutheran and that is all she knows about church, she freaked out at my mom's wedding in the Rushing Orthodox Church cuz of the singing and chanting lol When I became
a born again Christian she did not get it and thought I had joined a cult or something lol THANKS TO ADAM SANDLER AND THAT COMIC CD HE HAS FOR PUTTING THIS IN HER HEAD LOL. She is a pot head herself and doesn't go to any church as it is now... Anyway back to what I was saying. After taking it all in what she said I told her that I believed in spiritual warfare and that obviously a lot of that is going on in her dad's house,

Can't stuff it

Yesterday was one of those ho-hum days. I tried to not over do my journal, I get the sense that I have been adding too much in one day lol. So I search for more journals to grace with my comments lol ya what ever. I was putting in wacky key words for search and then I started to put more serious words in. Someone needs a journal titled "NOT ANOTHER TEEN JOURNAL" LOL Anyway I did a search with the word Abortion in it and turned up like 75 journals with just that word in it. I scanned threw them, don't
know what lead me to do this search. But I did find a few ppl's journals where you could tell they are in some deep pain over this issue. That quote ran threw my head I heard on the radio "Where you have been hurt the most, God will use you the most" So I on just a few of them, I left just a link to my remembrance page, a webpage I created dealing with my own abortion and the fall out. I did get a very nice e-mail saying that my page was like "words of wisdom in her head." Nice. I pray that she will start to deal with what happen and not stuff it.

People listen up, you cannot stuff things down deep and not think they will not come up to the surface in some way or another. But it did take me over 10 yrs to deal with what I had done and to heal from it. I too tried to stuff it and other hurts, with drugs, drinking, bad relationships, lots of sex, and other destructive things. lol you would not recognize the person I used to be before Christ.
My turning point was when I found a relationship with the Lord and also going to Post-Abortion Counciling. That is why I can be so open about it now, cuz I dealt with it and let God heal me of all those hurts and regrets and grief, and guilt. I gave him my broken pieces and he healed me. I am a new creation in Christ. :)

Thursday, October 9, 2003


Yes that is my daughter killing the Brownie cake the Girl Scouts made to take to the birthday bash!!!!!!!!!! (see previous post Twist Me and Turn Me) Oh yeah she is busted!  I want to be mad but how can I? She is tooo cute.  I did slap her hand but in hine sight I am to blame.  I should of put it up or watched her closer lol maybe I did it on purpose cuz I subconiously wanted to eat it too? lol

No biggie, I will just have Annie make another one with me. LMBO


In a message dated 10/10/2003 1:55:16 AM Taipei Standard Time, Hunybea4him/M writes:I have unistalled my 8.0 and have now up dated with the 9.0 disk.  My previous problems seemd to of ended since I have done this.  But now I am having a new one.  What ever help you can give is appreciated. This stared Sunday.  When opening my mail from someone I get this pop up that I cannot get rid of saying I need to debug script and Microsoft Script Editor comes up prompting me to edit it.  I have nooo clue how to do this.  At first it was just some mail and now it seems to do it with almost all my mail! Thanks!The problem that you are having is known issue which was caused by installing the MS Security Patch Q828750. Our system enginees are working on a patch to fix the problem that this patch is causing on the AOL software. In the meantime, you may try disabling Script debugging. TO DISABLE SCRIPT DEBUGGING, PLEASE FOLLOW THE STEPS BELOW:
1. Click on START, select Settings, then click on CONTROL PANEL.
2. Double-click on INTERNET OPTIONS.
NOTE: In Windows XP
, click on Start, select Control Panel, then click on Internet Options.
3. Click on ADVANCED tab.
4. In the Browsing section, put a check mark on the "DISABLE SCRIPT DEBUGGING" option.
5. Then click OK.
6. Click on the X in the upper right corner to close the Control Panel window.


Closer Walk With Thee comments

Safe Within His Arms Just a Closer Walk With Thee. here is a post that I was commenting on but ran out of room so I thought I would pick up some thoughts here, so go read that post and then read this one lol
My Comments: Very truthful post brother.  Some times we think our works will bring us closer to God and maybe make up for some of our past.  But we are mistaken, that is Not what is required of us.  Just to draw near to him, closer and closer, and he will draw near to us. 
We sometimes try to add to the cross or take away, but we can't for he said "IT IS FINISHED" and when we come into that realization, that we didn't have to work for a relationship with him, that its unconditional, that he has loved us all along no matter what and all we had to do was turn to him, That is when the walk starts and life comes alive.

Wednesday, October 8, 2003

More on the Strike

   KSDK NewsChannel 5 - News Article Grocery Workers Strike    This is what I was looking for, before I ran across that other article."Local 655 president Robert Kelley says he was pleased with the turnout, "this was the largest union meeting ever held in St. Louis. It shows the determination of our members and proves that they’ve had enough.”
Pay and benefits were at the core of the issues separating the two sides. "
"Union members voted down the contract proposal, which the stores have called their “final offer,” last week. About 5,600 of the members voted on the proposal, with 64 percent opposed.The proposal would have required workers to assume a greater share of medical bill costs through higher deductibles and co-payments for some services. It also offered a raise of 75 cents an hour, with 25-cent raises in the second, third and fourth years, plus a 20-cent-an-hour bonus if the union ratified the agreement. The raise only applied to workers who make $9 or more an hour. Union members said baggers would receive a raise of a nickel an hour.
The contract included two additional vacation days and more full-time jobs for workers at the grocery storechains."                                                        

 And I did find a list of alt. union stores I could go to, but wouldn't ya know it, they are a forever drive away.  humm.  Well it is a good thing we have most of what we need, and gas stations now carry milk lol.

KSDK NewsChannel 5 - News Article Judge To Block Missouri Abortion Law
" A federal judge says he will temporarily block a new Missouri law that would require physicians to wait 24 hours after consulting women before performing abortions.

His clerk says Senior U.S. District Judge Scott Wright plans to issue the temporary restaining order Friday. That's one day before the law was to have taken effect.

Wright held a closed telephone conference call earlier today with attorneys for the state and Planned Parenthood affiliates."

And what is the harm in having a waiting period?? I know many states have this law already. I tell you what the harm is. Loss of business for Abortion Providers like Planned Parenthood. Many women without the pressure of doing it here or now and getting it done quick, will rethink this choice and the ones who are set on doing it, what is wrong with waiting one more day? A choice is when you have all the facts and decide from those facts what is best for you. If you don't have the facts how can make an informed choice? Sadly these places do not give Women all the facts or even discuss alt. cuz that would be loss of business. And that is what it is all about for these places, money. Money to provide the service and money for the sale of the parts left behind. That is the bottom line, not women's health.



AOL Local Guide: St. Louis - Local News Grocery Workers STRIKE!!

 Basically all the grocery stores here are being picked and all the workers are on strike. Just a few, like the nonunion ones are OK to go to, but duh they are nonunion, so that kinda goes agenst that too. I am NOT a big Union activist person, but my husband is in the Painters Union and for us to go across a picket line is a big NO NO. I respect both sides of the coin. For those who strike, and DO NOT get paid for it, but stand up for what they believe is fair and I respect those who HAVE TO work because they need to feed their families. It is a hard position either way. BUT mean while, I have no MILK in the house and need my soda. What a dilemma. I went to China-Mart to get soda and milk but they was out of the Milk cuz all the stores closed yesterday at 7 and so they took the customers from that and sold out of the basic necessities. I hope this doesn't drag on for too long. Crossing fingers here BUT Not holding my breath.

Would love to hear all your comments on this one. :)

Mean Mothers  <---------------------------Click this and see what descripbes me and how I would like to be as a mother in a nutshell lol.  If you are one of those who has a mean mom, give her a HUG and tell her THANK YOU MOM!!! :)


AnyONE??? PLEASE!! What is up with this, since Sunday, in my mail on occasion I get the dreaded debugger pop up asking me to edit the script? WHAT THE HECK IS THAT AND WHY?! ANOTHER AOL FLAW? MY JAVA DAMAGED? OR IS THE PERSON WHO SENT THE MAIL? cuz its not everymail but it is happening more often. Getting very agitated by this lol. I am no programer nor do I want to be. And I am sure If I ask a tec again they will just say, uninstall and reinstall. bla.

Twist me and Turn me ...

Twist Me and Turn Me and show me the Elf, I looked in the Pound and saw... (when you find the answer to that ryme you will learn who the Brownie is :) )

Last night was our second Troop meeting.  We had the pinning ceramony and told the Brownie Story.  Such good times lol cuz I remember doing this when I was a girl.  Then after they got the pin it was upside down, till next time.  To get it turned right side up they have to do a good deed.  And we sat in the friendship cirlce and talked about the Girl Scout Promise and the Girl Scout Law and what a good deed is.  We decided that a good deed is something you do on your own with out being asked but is helpful to those around you( and is not all ready a set chore!).  Then we made a brownie cake for the Birthday Bash next week, where we will join our area G.S. Troops in celabrating Juliette Low's Birthday, the founder of G. S.

I posted the pics but I hesatate in doing so lol, for one I did not take them and they are not the best(down fall of being the Leader, you cant do it all lol) and G.S. have strict rules about posting pics on the web.  But since I did not state where the meeting is or any of the girls names but my own daughter or even our troop # I think it is ok.

Something I needed to read today

Colossians 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye. 14 And above all these things [put on] charity, which is the bond of perfectness.15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.  No accedent that this follows right after it too I am sure.

Col 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.19Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. I wish I could go into all the details but it is one of those things that one should not air in public lol.

Tuesday, October 7, 2003

Random Ramblings here is a journal entry about not celebrating Holloween. Pretty much sums up my thoughts. We do not celebrate it and last year we stayed in and watched a movie. My kids lived and they are fine and not damaged lol We may or may not go to an alt. Harvest Festival at a local church this year, still thinking on that.

Tid Bits

AOL Keyword: 15 Hours of Fame What is this all about??? lol and do I even want to know?? I think my little journal is all the fame I need, especially since I know from experience how the media miss quotes and puts their own spin on things. lol And being #1 for a day is all the fame I need lol. Other interesting things on the welcome screen. AOL Journals by phone? Is that how you get your voice in them?. Tempting but is it worth the 5 bucks or so they want to charge me? probably not. but it might be nice
to talk my journal out since there is so little room when you type it. I think this is something I will not do, we pay too much as it is. WHY NOT MAKE IT A FREE SERVICE AOL, STOP MILKING US FOR ALL WE HAVE???

Part 2 (come on aol give us more room! Us creative types need space lol)

 Now comes the blessed part, the van deiced to die right in front of a one of those oil changing places and the guys there saw me and the situation.( I was blocking up traffic) and they came and pushed me out of the way into the parking lot.  And they had a courtesy phone to use.  But no one was home so I got all 4 kids and we walked the rest way home, and it was so nice out that it was great, even if I did have to carry Sophia (she is getting heavy)! And it took longer than I thought, about 30min.! Driving and it would of took maybe 2 min. lol I should walk the hood more often,cuz I am sore!!! How sad is that, man am I out of shape.   We get home and dinner is DONE! Yaaaah  I used my secret wepon the crock-pot.  Josh walks in the door five min. after we do, I would of thought he would of been home before us but its ok, it was a nice walk. Anyways, so now we are down a car and I will be stranded at home but its ok God will provide for all our needs.So as you see it was not the best of days, but it could of been worse if I would of let my aditude go the other way. :)

Phil. 4:11 for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, there with to be content

Learning to be content in every situation. I think God is working on me with that lol becuase yesterday was one of those days that I could of lost it but I made a choice on how to feel and how to react. I did take my son to the doc. to get checked out. NO surprise to me but he was given a clean bill of health. I knew he was fine because God said he was, but josh under the influence of his hypercondrated step-mom, insisted he go in. That is fine but until we find a new pediatrician we have to go to the old one and that is a 45min drive for ME plus the $20 I have to pay the doctor. But its all good. I choose to be satisfied no matter what yesterday and for sure I was being tested to see if I would stick to that. Since our children's pediatrician is sooooo close to my in-laws I stopped by there for a quick visit. Where they happy about this?? Maybe but they whined that we should have come before the appointment and oh next time make the appointments in the morning. I smiled OK sure, will try. But sigh, Really I have no control over the appointment times, the doc squeezes us in whenever they can. lol And then MAKES US WAIT AN HOUR AFTER THAT TIME TO BE SEEN! Its just a small thing and we love playing in the waiting room with all the other sick kids right! Now comes the big one, and I am so proud of how I handled it cuz God did bless me threw it all. We are about 5 min. from home, been on the road for about an hour and half, due to rush hour, the kids are tiered and hungry but I have the radio on to uplifting. 

ETC Great Journal. A Mature Brother IN Christ. Very refreshing..

Monday, October 6, 2003

2 Corinthians 4:9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Sing it for me ZoeGirl!!!

I may be misunderstood 'cause I wouldn't ever fake it
You’re the only one who understands my pain
Cause You get me
It doesn’t matter what they do, what they think,
what they say
At the end of the day, I’m okay anyway
Cause Lord You get me

I was driving today and thinking about what to write in responce to some things said to me in e-mails and comments and this song came on that Perfectly describes how I am feeling.

So go ahead. Say I am living in a bubble that is about to burst, say that only weak minded ppl turn to religioin, say that there is no sceince in the Bible (some one needs to visit AIG) say that I am judging others when I am not, say what a joke my whole life is to you or call Evil Good and Good Evil and what ever else.  BRING IT ON. But at the end of the day I'm ok cuz HE gets me and his opinon is the only one that matters to me and in the End. :)

Sunday, October 5, 2003

Who Me??

  WOW!  Who knew, me #1.  lmbo. 

 I open up my mail this evening and wondered why am I getting all this hate e-mail attacking my position in Christ? And then I went to my journal and saw that finally some ppl commented on my posts. Nice.  But as I read them I saw the congrates on being #1!  Me? nooo. lol so I went to the top 5 list to see for my self and there I was! they used the pic I sent when I was #4. Nice of them to put me up there like that but if I would of been notified I surely could of found a  better pic for them to use. lol Thanks to all who posted a comment or e-mailed me. 

 I would like to address some things that have been said but I am afraid that will have to be a whole other post. lol.  I am quite embarrassed from all the attention, I never thought ppl would actually read this thing. It started out as just for me ya know, and turned into a God thing lol.  I was even thinking of letting it go for a while because I felt like maybe I was being too self-absorbed lol and then this happens. But who knows  how AOL editors pick their top 5 list.  It seems like each day there is a theme and today was a Christian one. WTG AOL ;-)

Saturday, October 4, 2003

(I know part 4!please read all to get the full jist.) This will sent along with the letter

Here are just a few excerpts from the U.S. Secretary of Education’s webpage and guidelines he has set forth.  I encourage you to visit this website and read over these guidelines and how they may apply to this situation. Official neutrality regarding religious activity: Teachers and school administrators, when acting in those capacities, are representatives of the state and are prohibited by the establishment clause from soliciting or encouraging religious activity, and from participating in such activity with students. Teachers and administrators also are prohibited from discouraging activity because of its religious content, and from soliciting or encouraging antireligious activity.Religious literature: Students have a right to distribute religious literature to their schoolmates on the same terms as they are permitted to distribute other literature that is unrelated to school curriculum or activities. Schools may impose the same reasonable time, place, and manner or other constitutional restrictions on distribution of religious literature as they do on nonschool literature generally, but they may not single out religious literature for special regulation. Equal access to means of publicizing meetings: A school receiving Federal funds must allow student groups meeting under the Act to use the school media -- including the public address system, the school newspaper, and the school bulletin board -- to announce their meetings on the same terms as other noncurriculum-related student groups are allowed to use the school media. Any policy concerning the use of school media must be applied to all noncurriculum-related student groups in a nondiscriminatory matter. Schools, however, may inform students that certain groups are not school sponsored.

Part 3(start at Parents must see to thier children's rights) What I wrote to the school

here is what I wrote to the principal:   I am very pleased with all the information you have shared threw the school news letter Knight Line.  As I read threw October’s Issue I can see at a glace what is going on and when.  I am thrilled to read about all the activities, events and after school clubs.  Reading about all the club activities makes me smile and I see that our students are provided with a wide range of interests to explore.

  I know that each person who organizes these clubs put a lot of energy and time into them.  I was somewhat dismayed that the club my son decided to join was not given the same attention that the Math Club, Earth Club, Choir Club and the P.E. Club have received.  My son Zane, choose to join the K4C (Kids4Christ Club).  I know that this club is not endorsed by the School District in anyway but I am almost positive that when talking about clubs in a school news letter it is perfectly legal to give as much attention to this club as it is to the others.  Perhaps this is an oversight and the K4C did not provide info. for you to use or you are not informed on what the law has to say in this regard.  Please consider looking into this issue when writing the next Knight Line when speaking about after school clubs.  Thank you for all your time and attention to this matter.