Monday, March 31, 2008


First I find my old best friend from when I was growing up.  Then I start scrapbooking with the girls and go threw all these old pictures and now this!!!!!!!!

New Kids to Perform on 'Today' - AOL News

You Just don't even understand how I was soooooo nuts over NKOTB.  I didn't just simply have my walls covered in posters.. I had my ceilings and closet wallpapered.  They were my first concert.

Ofcourse Donny was my fav and I have followed his and his brother's acting career with great pleaser *yum* lol jk

Does this happen to everyone when theY turn something.. everything comes back around to make you feel even older??? LOL

Maybe if they do come in concert I will take my girls and we can hoop and holler together.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

what’s behind my current myspace profile song

what’s behind my current profile song on my myspace page (wish AOL journals made it easier to include music)

Just so you know.. I normaly put alot of thought behind what I add as my profile song andd Headline on my myspace page.  Here is the lyrics for the song I currently have:

Casting Crowns: I Am Every Man

I’m the man with all I’ve ever wanted
all the toys and playing games
I am the one who pours your coffee, corner booth each Saturday
I am your daughter’s favorite teacher
I am the leader of the band
I sit behind you in the bleachers
I am every man

I’m the coach of every winning team and still a loser in my mind
I am the soldier in the airport facing giants one more time
I am the woman shamed and haunted by the cry of unborn life
I’m every broken man, nervous child, lonely wife

Is there hope for every man
A solid place where we can stand
In this dry and weary land
Is there hope for every man
Is there love that never dies
Is there peace in troubled times
Someone help me understand
Is there hope for every man

Seems there’s just so many roads to travel,
It’s hard to tell where they will lead
My life is scarred and my dreams unraveled
Now I’m scared to take the leap
If I could find someone to follow
Who know my pain and feels the weight
The uncertainty of my tomorrow,
The guilt and pain of yesterday

CHORUS: (reprise)
There is hope for every man
A solid place where we can stand
In this dry and weary land
There is hope for every man
There is Love that never dies
There is peace in troubled times
Will we help them understand?
Jesus is hope for every man

It is one of my new fav songs.  When I first heard it on the radio I ofcourse idenfied with the women haunted and ashamed by unborn life.  But I am not brought down by that thought.. I am uplifted because I am free of that guilt and shame and I now have hope.  Free yes Free!!  I used to be so plauged by the hurt of abortion, I have come along way since I have allowed the Lord to work on me and heal me.  Yes I am still sad, and miss having that sweet baby, she would be about 16yrs old but the hope comes in knowing I will see her in Heaven when I get there and as the Lord has forgiven me of her murder, so will she.  Beautiful.. I love you and miss you!

JLand Photo Shoot #131 - Sacred

 JLand Photo Shoot #131 - Sacred

Josh got a new fancy semi pro camera to help him take up a hobby.  I encouraged him to play along in these J~Land challenges to help him get ideas lol but this is what he said:

"This a picture I would submit as "sacred" .  Independence Hall with an American Flag waving to the side. You can post it for me if you want. I just can't bring myself to start a "blog".

LOL  I don't know why he has such an abrasion to blogging.. silly man of mine.  But I will post his pic for him because I love it and I didn't have time to do mine.. I was going to take a pic of my wedding ring as an entry for Sacred.  As you may guess Josh is currently in Philly and oh what wonderful things he gets to see being right down town.  I hope the kids and I get an opportunity to visit him if he is there threw the summer to see all the historic sights.

Intendance Hall is where the first Congress signed The Declaration Of Independence.  They also have on display one of the original copies but Josh said it was too crowded and dark to get a good picture of it.  I think this is an excellent place to consider Sacred.. it is a turning point in history and should be very dear to every American.

Friday, March 28, 2008

What 10 things would you say to a friend you havn't seen in a long time... UPDATED!!!!!!!!

Almost 2yrs ago I posted this entry.. some of you may remember.

What 10 things would you say to a friend you haven't seen in a long time?
Picture from Hometown
What 10 things would you say to a friend you haven't seen in many years?
Every now and then my mind wonders back to my teenage year's best friend Tonya Ashley.  (If you know her please tell her Mary misses her!) 
1. I have missed you very much and think about you often.
2. I have a good life and for the most part am happy, are you?
3. I have tried to find you again and it hurt so much to go back to Vegas that last time knowing you were probably there somewhere and I couldn't see you.
4. I have worried about you and prayed for you, especially after our last conversation those years ago.
5. Are you safe now, have you settled down yet?
6. Have you learned to forgive those who have hurt you or do you still carry so much hate in you?
7. What happen to you in the past was not your fault and the things that were are all behind you.
8. You have a beautiful soul and are so loved, even when you try to push others away.
9. You are invited back into my life and I hope we can be even better friends then we were in our youth.
10.  Get your butt to STL and see me!!!
Well the most awesome thing has happen!  Tonya and I have gotten back in touch with each other (finally).  Myspace is a wonderful thing sometimes : ) 
So at last I showed her the 10 things I wanted to say to her and here are her responses.  I kind of put her on the spot but that is ok lol.
1. Me too!
2. Ya, finally
3. Ya I feel the same way, that I wished I could find you.  I probly wasn't in Vegas then anyway.
4. ya, well I am done with that, so don't worry.
5. Yes, I pulled my head out of my *ss.
6. No, I have learned to forgive, working on it
7. Not sure what to say to that, but I am more free now
8.  Thanks, friend.  I felt like I had to put a wall up to protect myself.  working on that.
9.  Whoo hoo..
10.  Sure, ok.. when you pay for it or I grow wings.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Pics from Easter

Video from Easter Worship

My Lilly and Sophia are in the front wearing the purple and green tunic shirts.  They all did wonderful and worked real hard on this worship service for Easter!!  I just have to say Lilly looks like she took it that extra mile and was very exaggerated in her movements lol.

My Annie is in the front looking very serious (and grown up aww).  She knew it so well that she was put there so the other girls could keep up lol.  I think when they all are in sync it is sooooo beautiful!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

What your chocolate bunny may be thinking.. lol

saw this pic and had to share.. too funny!

Have a Blessed Resurrection Sunday.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I gotta hold a sweet baby!!

Me and my friend's baby, Hadassah
My phone takes pretty good pics huh!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Spark Of Anticipation

Reading threw the CNA text book a phrase jumped out at me,  "spark of anticipation".  It was so poetic! I had to write it down and pray that it was something I could learn to give to the patients and clients I would come to work for and maybe also remember how to find my own spark too.  How to exactly do that wasn't stated beyond being friendly and personable.

I have been warned about getting attached to clients and that I should try not to let that happen.  That is about impossible for me to avoid I think.  In fact I think it is too late lol. I'm not at a facility right now but doing in home aid and when you see the same person day in and out and get to know them and care for their personal needs how can you not come to have some kind of feelings?  I am not a robot but somewhat sensitive myself.  I try and not take it home with me but there has been occasions when I could not leave my concern and worry at the door when my client was not doing well or having a bad day.  I couldn't wait to see her the next day hoping she had improved.  Thankfully that is not most days.

Yesterday I called in sick for the first time.  My stomach was a mess and I was also over tiered from the weekend and emotionally drained (Josh left back on the road and that always depresses me too).  I didn't feel too guilty about not being able to show up for work because I knew the family would be there (and most of this week) and she would not be alone.  I stayed in bed almost the whole day and went to bed early last night.  That helped alot but my stomach is still kinda messed up.  I don't know if it is indigestion or stress or both.

When I got to work this morning I asked my client how her day was yesterday.  She said, "it was terrible"  "Terrible! Well why was that hon?! What happen?", I asked.  What she said next touched me, "Oh nothing really.  It was just because you were not here"  Awwwwwwwwwwww!  That is so sweet, is that part of the spark?  Ofcourse she was exaggerating but a little twinge of guilt crept in about me calling in sick, but I fought it because I know I have to be well to make sure she stays well.  Still it is nice to know I was missed.

I don't have to do much for my client.  She is pretty self-sufficient but her family doesn't want her left unsupervised and have some one there is she needs extra help.  Today I was told I was doing too  much for her and that she needs to do everything for her self.  I feel lazy enough as it is with just laying out her meds and diabetic testing stuff and making breakfast.  Other than that I don't do anything but occasionally help her with her shoes and make sure she is not falling in the shower.  I more or less just remind her to do things and be a companion.  Guess I am supposed to just sit there?  Ugh.  LOL.  I know don't complain, I have it easy right now and the next client may not be so laid back.

Going back to that spark of anticipation.  What is yours?  What do you look forward to every day, keeps you going?  Knowing I am needed by my family and friends and my client I guess is mine, keeps me from being lazy.  Also you can really tell I get lighter in the step when I am expecting hubby home *wink*  I know I also need to have something for myself, and not put my happiness in others too.  Beyond ordering my life around church and certain tv or radio shows, I do really look forward to writing these little posts (when I can think of something worth posting).  And I love reading the feed back from my friends or passerbyers *hint, hint* 

I know everyone has not picked up my reappearance to the online community lol and I am trying to reconnect with everyone.  I have a long list of people on my buddy list that I hardly recognize and all my journal alerts have been turned off.. I can't find how to turn them back on threw AIM.. and I am kind of scared too, knowing how it fills my in box.  Also alot of the blogs I have in my other journal section has gone private with out leaving me an invite to read *waaaaah*.  So if you see me online feel free to give me a shout out threw IM or if you have noticed I have not been to your blog in awhile leave me a link or an invite.  And if you want to announce to others that I am connected again..that would be appreciated.


Thursday, March 13, 2008


Puzzles have been on my brain since I have to do them at work.  I never have been one to love putting puzzles together but my dad would sit for hours when he was sick and do the massive thousand pieces at the card table.  I'm not that ambitious, we started with a 100 and have worked up to 500 pieces puzzle.  It also helps if the picture is something you enjoy and look forward to finishing.  After a month of it I must say it has grown on me and I am getting better.

I was contemplating this week (while working on the puzzle lol) how life  and maybe God can be like a big puzzle and how exciting it is when you can fit pieces together and get closer to seeing the bigger picture.  How as in puzzles, life is easier when you have a blue print to look at as you construct and a starting foundation of getting all the edge pieces out first and building that boarder.  Sure you don't have to do it that way, some people prefer more of a challenge and like starting in the middle and not having the picture to go off of but I like a guide and knowing somewhat what I am striving for.

In life we don't always get the Big Picture until we are done but we do have a foundation to build on.  Not always the best mind you and often we have big holes that are works in progress looking for just that right fit to mend it all together.  Sometimes big bullies come along and tear down what we have already put together and we need to rebuild.  Sometimes it's God that does the tearing down because we were trying to jam two things together and leave it miss matching and he wants to help build that marvelous picture he has intended for us. How disappointing and painful that can be, frustrating but after the process is over and we see the out come it is well worth it.

Sometimes when I am working on the puzzle I get too focused on just one particular area and get exacerbated with myself when that little blob of white is not going with the rest of the blobs, I  just know that is a cloud and needs to be up that away.. gurr why won't it go.  After leaving the table and letting my eyes rest I come back and see it didn't go there at all, I was trying for the wrong place, it really was lace on a ladies skirt.. duh why didn't I see that.  I kind of equate that to prayer and fellowship, that resting and coming back refreshed and able to see clearer or a helpful word from a friend who may see things different from afar.  That exhilaration I get from snapping a section together is like that click in my spirit when a particular scripture speaks to me and helps me understand more.  Like the first time I understood when Jesus said on the Cross, "It is Finished" how meaningfull and freeing and drawing me closer to seeing a complete work that is being done within me.

I know all the pieces in my life won't just come together and I won't see all of the Big Picture until after my life is over.  For now we see in part and know in part.. but so far I have the boarder done, and am coming along with big sections.

How about you?

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Saturday, March 8, 2008

Whistle while you work : )

Entering back into the workforce after 8years of being a stay at home mom or as I have come to think of it.. a protective bubble, has at times been a bit of a shock to the system.  While being a SAHM my interaction with the world out there was limited to my family and their friends, my church family, and my buddies online.  Now I have a whole new set of acquaintances and run ins with people who normally don't run in my circles nor have my same set of values.  It's not that I am not tolerant of others or am capable of dealing with other people, it just floors me sometimes, really awakens to me to the times we are living.  The whole lying and passing the buck, fudging on paperwork is what disturbers me the most.  I can handle bad attitude and disgruntled and try and not let that infect me (because it can be contagious).  It is when people straight up lie, people in authority and who are supposed to be responsible for other employees and clients/customers.  My God.. I know it is hard to admit when we have made a mistake but if you tell the truth it makes life easier and people will respect you for it. 

I am not talking about just one instance or even anyone place I have worked for.  I have held three jobs in the past 5 months and at each one I have ran into blatant dishonesty and ugly behavior and keep in mind one of those places was a church daycare.  It just makes me appreciate my former SAHM status all the more lol.  If  this what Josh has to deal with on a daily basis I can understand more why he prefers not to associate with work friends after he is home.

Since I have to work I will try and keep a positive out look, let my little light shine and do what I know is right.  And as simple a thing as that sounds, it can be hard out there, but I will not fall into that trap.  I had to opportunity the other day and saw it a mile away for what it was, a snare the enemy was trying to put out there for me to walk into.  And it's funny, when you are honest, and keep a smile on, you are considered the weird one.


Wednesday, March 5, 2008



  OHHHHHHHH-YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!  No more having to wait on Josh and his computer or having poor signal and my slow as molasses computer.  No more being out of touch with the WWW.  Breathing a big deep sigh of happiness.. awwwwwwwww e-mail, IM, and not least of all,. bloging to my hearts content.. till my fingers cramp with the signs of carpeltunel!!  So be prepared, Mary is back and she has a whole lot of catching up to do!!!

I have so much NEW (tax return came and spent) to get used to.  New computer, new cell phone (with unlimited texting and web and messaging yaaah), new house phones and DSL, the TV is back on.  All sorts of fun things to get used to. I should never feel cut off again with all that lol.  Also new.. new job (I'll get into that soon) and our church is moving this week into a new building.  See the theme lol.

Josh got me the new computer about a week or so ago.. I haven't really touched it until now that it's hooked up to the net.  I would of preferred a laptop but this new desk top will be good too. It has a dvd/cd burner and light scribe. It also has ugh, Vista and trial software (what ever happen to having everything bundled together or thrown in with it!!) But I am elated by having lots more memory and thus a faster puter.  I had our other desktop for just about 8yrs!  I have tons of pics and docs that I need to store off of it somehow.  But on the other hand when we get a new monitor we may just hook it up for the kids.  At least that is what they think shouldhappen lol.

We finally switched from Sprint to AT&T for our cells.  I lobbied hard for Zane to get one but Josh seems it best to wait a little longer and since we have a house phone now we can be just as well connected with each other as if he had one.  Sorry son that you still have to be known as the only one at school with out one.  I got the new pink Walkman phone but until we get the memory card for it, it is not much good as an MP3 player. No such thing as simple buy and have it all out of the box.. always some kind of accessory you have to get to get the full use out of the new technology.  That is growing highly annoying and expensive.  Ringtones at almost $3 a pop?! OUCH.And the deposit just about killed it all for me.  But it does have radio and all the other thrills.. camera, video, web,. song ID and when I do get music set up in it all I have to do is give it a shake to shuffle.  I was glad they were able to load my phone book from my old phone on to it but somehow it has cell and home on my contacts mixed up.. so I have to figure out how to change that.  Josh got the same model.. different color of course.  He says he doesn't like his.. harder to hear and be heard on calls he thinks.  I foresee a hand-me-down to the boy.. maybe??

We are sorely disappointed with our phone company.  They have the monopoly right now in my area ugh.  Originally we only wanted to get DSL service.  I had a flier in the mail last month about  how you didn't have to have a phone line to get it.  They give Josh a different story when he went to set it up.  Then it took over 3 days to turn on and have the new modem delivered.. I can kinda understand that.  But when we got another flier in the mail advertising what we wanted that really pissed off Josh and when he called they give him some lame excuse and runaround.  Well, at least we have a set price for a year and maybe by then cable will be out here.

Yikes.. it's getting late and I must be up and at work at 7a.m.  But.. I shall be back and I WILL be catching up on all my reading too.