Friday, January 30, 2004
I am bubbling over with Praise Reports today! God is so wonderful, he hears each and every prayer and answers them in his way acording to his will and his time.
First one is from the other day. I have been chatting with this women on and off named Amy for almost 2yrs now. We live very close to eachother but have never met. She is also a Christian but has been out of church for a long time for many reasons. One of the biggest is she is very shy because of her physical aperance (she has been sick and has had many surgerys) and her oldest son has been a hand full. She has had him in counciling for the past few weeks and she says it is helping some with is anger promblem and then out of no where her son asked if they could go to Church. Only threw Jesus could this be possilbe to move on this young mans heart to ask this. I dont have the space to go into all the history but belive me this is awesome. Then Amy asks about my church and thier youth group and says she will try and make it this Sunday! I have extended an invition to her for almost the whole time we have chatted and am over joyed that we will get to meet this Sunday and that she will be worshiping with me and my family. I have started now talking with her on the phone and there is a connection there, like we have been friends for years.
The next thing I want to sing Praises to the Lord for is our federal tax return came today! And it is almost a thousand more than what we was expecting. We have been in a bind with finances all month. Josh's work has been perty sparce and in fact he filed for unemployment yesterday for the first time in 3yrs. Bills have been rolling in and we are behind on rent for Jan. I have been praying that it would come by this friday because the irs website said it wouldnt come till about the 16th. With it being so bad you would think we would be fraking out and in worry, but no we have had so much peace and faith knowing that the Lord would take care of us in his way and he has. THANK YOU JESUS, THANK YOU LORD. YOU ARE INDEED OUR PROVIDER, OUR HEALER, OUR EVERYTHING.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
My faith encompaes all fasuets of my life. It is not just something I do on one day of the week or a lable I live under. It is indeed part of all that I am. How I raise my children,my relationship with my husband,how I treat others (with love I hope), how I define truth, how I live my life and how I worship God. So for some one to sugesst we can or should separate the two is just NOT going to happen for me and I don't think it should for others. No I am not saying we should have a state religion, our founders was wise to keep Goverment out of our Churches, Synagogues, Mosques and other places of worship(but I do see a time when they are very much in them sadly,rant for another day). But when you vote for some one, you are voting for some one who is going to represent YOU.How can I vote for some one who is in complet oppisite to what I have based my life on? I can not with sound mind vote for any canadate who thinks MILIONS of murders of innocent humans a year is acceptable, or some one who leads our nations away from our creator, or some one who has no charter at all. God has been very much apart of our goverment, from its beginings.. The Declaration of Independace contains five references to God - God as supreme Lawmaker, God as Creator of all men, God as the Source of all rights, God as the world's supreme Judge, and God as our Protector on whom we can rely. The Declaration of Independence is the official and unequivocal affirmation by the American people of their belief and faith in God. It affirms God's existence as a "self-evident" truth that requires no further discussion or debate. The nation created by the great Declaration is God's country. The rights it defines are God-given. The actions of its signers are God-inspired. To be honest with you all, I don't care who is in office, I know God raises up leaders and moves on ppls hearts. Who ever we have in office will be put there by God for such a time as this but unlike in other countries, we get to draw the line in the sand and say who we want to govern us. Who do you wan to govern you? Good quiz found on aol.
Function: noun plural but singular or plural in construction
Etymology: Greek politika, from neuter plural of politikos political
Date: circa 1529
1 a : the art or science of government b : the art or science concerned with guiding or influencing governmental policy c : the art or science concerned with winning and holding control over a government
2 : political actions, practices, or policies
3 a : political affairs or business; especially : competition between competing interest groups or individuals for power and leadership (as in a government) b : political life especially as a principal activity or profession c : political activities characterized by artful and often dishonest practices
4 : the political opinions or sympathies of a person
5 a : the total complex of relations between people living in society b : relations or conduct in a particular area of experience especially as seen or dealt with from a political point of view <office politics> Main Entry: re·li·gion
Etymology: Middle English religioun, from Latin religion-, religio supernatural constraint, sanction, religious practice, perhaps from religare to restrain, tie back more at RELY
Date: 13th century
1 a : the state of a religious <a nun in her 20th year of religion> b (1) : the service and worship of God or the supernatural (2) : commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance
2 : a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices
3 : archaic : scrupulous conformity : CONSCIENTIOUSNESS
4 : a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Ok. so I have yeilded to the idea of getting DSL. I was on Barbie.com with Annie yesterday and playing with her and found myself saying, "oh honey, dont worry, when daddy gets dsl this all will load faster." LOL Ofcourse Josh over heard me saying that and took that as his cue for calling the phone company and ordering it! We should have it up and going in a few days after they send us the modem, since the one our friend had given us wasnt compatable (just another way to milk us). I was surprised that DSL will only be $35 more amonth on our phone bill, and that they will break up the cost of the modem over 4 months and then get a rebate for some of the cost at the end of that. So now we are going over how much AOL for Broad Band will cost us. Looks like $14.99 a month extra. Ofcourse Josh dosn't see the reasoning in paying that when we can get free e-mail boxs from hotmail and get AIM. I do, so I don't have to re-do all I have done on here for the last 2yrs and keep my screen name that I love so much! Sigh, so we will see how that goes. If anything I have heard from E's~ journal that when they went to dsl and cancelled aol, aol offered them 3 months free to reconsider.
Anyways. Today is another SnowDay for Josh and the Kids. UGH! LOL So Josh is putting the kids to work and demanding the kitchen shine but he is helping fold all the laundry and that is oh so nice. But the downside is he is hovering over me as I write this. He said I embelish all this and that I rail him. I told him well You can always have your own journal and share your side OR go on your screen name and post a comment in defense of yourself. MY World View as it says under the title.
Monday, January 26, 2004
Well I fianly got my cord back, for now anyways lol. I had to bribe him to get it. We had freezing rain and some snow today so church was cancelled. Josh wanted me to go out after the worst was over and get movies since tomorrow he will be off work due to the weather. I told him I was willing, if he would give me what I wanted. He asked and asked, well what do you want. YOU know what I want babe, I said with smile. After him guessing about 5 wrong things I told him, read your e-mail, and give me back my cord, that will make me happy.lol So I left as he was signing on to his e-mail and reading threw the couple of e-mails you guys sent him. I will admit that I snuck a peak at them before hand, and I just want to say thanks, that was sweet what you all said about me. I came home after braving the cold cold to him reading my journal (gulp). He said I railed him lol and didn't show his side acuratly. That he never intended to take away the internet, just aol, he wants to get dsl in it's place. I told him I think I painted him in a very good light, and asked if he only read the parts about him or did he take the time to read all of my journal. I always tell ppl too that there is two sides to a story and this is just mine. My world view. Anyways, i would love dsl, but not too faund of the idea of loosing aol for it. And he is a cheapy and dont want to pay extra for it. He said atleast this way with dsl he would be able to get threw on the phone when he calls.(wasnt keen on the aol ringer service). So we are still going round and round on this one. I am about broken down to submission, I am sick of arguing over it. If God wants me to stay here he will move on Josh's heart. It would take alot for me to re-do all I have done on here, my webpages and groups and all that jazz. I hate change, but sometimes change is good too.
BTW I promised to give a shout out to my friend's new journal Jessica. She just started it so it is perty fresh still. I just started chatting with her and you know I talked about my journal so much she just had to get her own. lol So go give her a big welcome to J~Land!
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Hi all, got to make this a short one. Life up date, still using the short cord for now, tried to get Josh to give me the other one back but he is still being stuburn. We will work it out, thanks for all the advice and complinents. I dont think itching powder would be the answer lol but good thought. #2 Report cards came back friday and my son got ALL A'S!!!! I am so proud of him, where do I get that bummper sticker lol my kid is on the honor roll. Annie did very well too, but she is still on the number system and dont get letter grades yet. #3 Today was Zane's pinewood durby and he and Josh sound like they had fun, they are out at the car show down town at the moment. Annie had a b-paty to go to at a roller rink so I took the little ones to a place called Tumble Drumm. They wore me out!!! Imagin Mc Donlad's play place X 10! But we had fun. My knees are killing me from chasing them threw the tubes. I found out after we was done that they rent knee pads for the adults, gurr, have to remember that for next time. ouch, think I should ice them. #4 On a sad note for me, my best online buddy and prayer partner Becky (INJESUS24HRS) called me and left a message of her computer crashing and how she will be permantly off line cuz of the finances. I will miss her so much, she is such an encourager and treasure to know. I hope she calls me back cuz she didn't leave her #.
I hope to get caught up on your guys journals real soon. I miss ya!
Thursday, January 22, 2004
He doesnt get it ofcourse, cuz he never uses it. I promised to be better and find a way to make it so that I get kicked off when he calls and I am online (call alert maybe?anyone have it) So that has given me a reprive for awhile but he still didn't give me back my phone cord. Today I had to be sneeky and use an old shorter one and move the desk closer to it, sad I know. So yesterday I was in a very poor mood and thinking well it really wouldn't matter if I did get disconected, there is only a handful of ppl who would miss me probly and it is not as if I do any good on the net, no one listions to me, no one is getting touched or saved threw me, God can always use some one else right? Maybe I am being stuburn and I should submit and let him cancel it all together. When he did get it almost 2yrs ago I told him not to that it would be a theaft of our time. Maybe I should just humble my self and let it go? But if he thinks if we get rid of the net it will make me be more productive on the laundry, he is wrong. It is not the puter's fault, it is mine, i would just find another distractions I am sure.
This is just my winer day, another thing undermy skin. He took my car keys today! Aperantly he couldn't find his so he just takes mine! No biggie usally but I had to drive the kids today cuz they missed the bus. So here they sit, cuz i have no way to get them to school. Great example for them. I feel like I suck as a parent today. gurr.
btw.. if you want to tell Josh how wonderful I am and how much you would miss me if he unplugged me for good his e-mail addy is JWGH63366@aol.com
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
I had all the kids home with me yesterday and they was like wild animals, bouncing off the walls. Josh came home late cuz he made some stopps to get me a card and gift. He saw the state of the house and my mind and knew what kind of day I was having. He said sorry, but would you please go out I forgot frosting and you need to go so we can wrap your gift. He also said he looked and looked and was stumped so he knows he got some real cheesy gifts and he was sorry again. So I left the house for awhile, off to the store but first I stoped into one of those retro shops, you know the kind I used to shop at with the incence and old recoreds and newier hip posters and music. Walking down memory lane, but getting looks cuz I did not belong in there lol I am so differnt now. Sigh, then one of my old fav songs came on "Do YOU Wanta Die.. Come walk with me, behind the boat house I will show you my dark secret.." know that song and who it is bye? I had to leave cuz I was getting depressed and feeling old. Then I went to get the icing and pull-ups got to the check and ugh, my card was rejected. So went back home empty handed, but resolved myself to have a cheery out look. Dinner was ready, shrip sterfry, just engh for all of us. The cake josh was making was a flop, he was trying to make one big cookie in a heart shape pan and put wayyyy too much dough in. We still ate some of it. Then it was gift time. Just what I always wanted a hand mixer,and a dvd on the history of Harley Davidson. Did Wal-Mart run out of candles? lol my sis did call and wish me happy b-day and my friend Riley called too and told me about his adventers doing the MLK day parade in CO. 9 rolled around and still no call from my mom. So I called her and all chocked up said just called to say thank you MOM for giving birth to me today.It was a crapy B-day and I told my family it was my last one, I will be 26 forever, no more parties or candles lol But Yes I have been blessed with so much and I thank the Lord for another year in his service.
Monday, January 19, 2004
Enjoy my pics, took forever to get them up. If you read my testimony page it will exsplain alot.
Birthday Reflections. I have had some realy good birthdays. Seems like all the fun ones are behind me at the old age of 27. My birthday has always been important to me. Oldest of 3 kids and with it being so close after Christmas my birthdays have mostly been sparce in the gift department. But if my friends and family would just remember it was my b-day and give me a card that was what was important. Forget my birthday?! You wasn't much of a freind to me then. Best birthdays had always been the surprised ones. Big Bird cake at 5. Cookie cake at 7 shared with my Brownie troop. My 15th birthday when I was soooo grounded cuz I snuck out and took the car for a ride around the block, my parents still gave me a party. They took me out shopping and driving out in the desert. I remeber them stalling at the store and telling me to buy more clothes lol and when I got home my friends was there and we got to party! Most unhappy birthday was my 16th, I was still in Tomahawk and missing my old friends. My family took me out to a small restruant and gave me my first photo alblem. Still have it. But I always mourn that I didnt get the big sweet 16 party of my dreams.
Ok. later, got to go celbrate this year's birthday.
Many things I would like to put down here but I am still bumming over that aol phone thing lol I thought if I put most of it on that it would save character space on here. Anyways. Annie is doing good with her cookie sales. Over 130 boxes so far. We went out Sat on GoDay but it seemed all the houses closet to us had been hit already. Annie was getting discouraged I could tell, plus it was raining! Then we went over to a sub division by a friend from church's house and we got like 10 houses! Sunday she took it to church with her and ofcourse everyone who loves us ordered from her. Then we went over to Josh's dad's house for dinner and she went around their street. IT WAS LIKE GOLD! It is an older subdivision and all the scouts had grown up so no one had come around to them yet. Sigh, if it was not snowing and soo cold we would of done more than that one street, but I think she is doing perty well for it just being two days into the sales.
FYI today is my B-DAY. I am the ripe old age of 27 today. Ever closer to 30. I was telling a few ppl at church yesterday that my birthday was Monday and they guessed how old I was going to turn. I am so depressed now. One said 32! and some one else said 29. UGH. Josh assured me that it was only cuz of the kids they guessed higher. I have four of them and my oldest is 9, not many 27 yrds have a kid that is 9 or four kids for that matter. Then on my surprise cake from Josh's dad and step-mom they had the right number on the candles but I tryied to play it off, OH I am just turning 26, you messed up. Nope didn't work. So today is the day of my birth and as usual nothing special. We are always so broke on my B-day. But my kids are sweet, and made me breakfast in bed, and later hubby will make me a cookie cake. More to come later today on my reflections of my B-day.
Sunday, January 18, 2004
" I'm sorry I am unable to log you in at this time with that information" gurrr I am trying out that aol phone and did get threw to it and had posted an audio entry but decied to delet it and do a better one. But for the last half hour that is all I am getting from the aol gate keeper lady. Bla!! Bummed cuz I had my whole post centered around this feature. If this is normal, i will not keep it.
Anyways, its late now and hubby is calling me to bed. love ya
Friday, January 16, 2004
Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up [that which is] planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.11 He hath made every [thing] beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.12 I know that [there is] no good in them, but for [a man] to rejoice, and to do good in his life.
Last night I went to a wake. I was there to suport my friend from church. Her elderly father passed away on Monday. It was wonderful to see so many ppl there to support her from church. I think her mother who is not a Christian was surprised too. Chris said her father was saved, she knew it in her heart and that they would be reunited again. She said she could feel everyones prayers for her and her family, that she had that Perfect Peace from God and that he was using this time to heal her family and to bring others to the Lord. That is my prayer also. If YOU died today,would you have that assurance that you would go to heaven? What's your answer?
Thursday, January 15, 2004
Trefoils Light and delicious! Tender, delicate-tasting shortbread made with butter and eggs. Guaranteed to melt in your mouth
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
''Glass and black smoke flew everywhere. Arabs were screaming, Jews were screaming,'' said a Palestinian witness, her clothes stained with the blood of others." ''Resistance will escalate against this enemy until they leave our land,'' Hamas founder Sheikh Ahmed Yassin said in Gaza." I can not phathom what would possess a mother to do this. and FYI Palestinians claim all of the Land as thiers, all of it and will not be satified until they see Isreal off the map. Imagin if you lived in this climate you would want to build a fence too.
Ya right, Religion of Peace. Peace by the sword.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
We was flipping threw the tube tonight and stopped at the second half of UPN's show Top Model. Not a show I follow but it looked kinda intresting. The part we flipped on was the wanta be model's was at a photo-shoot called "Adam & Eve" and the girls was being painted up into a costume, but was perty much nude. Drama when one of the girls showed up late cuz she slept in and no one bothered to wake her, and another girl refused to get her picture taken nude possing provocitly with a male model.
At the end of the show it came time to cut one of the girls and it came down to the two who caused the drama. When asked why she refused to do the shoot Anna said, "It was not lady like and an image I want to project. I am just trying to be Christ Like". Bingo! You should of seen the eye rolls!! Needless to say they cut Anna and the message that came across to me is you can not hold on to values and want to be a top model. You have to comprise. I aplaude Anna, and if the judges had the guts to keep her, I would of been an avid watcher, but since they think you have to be a hoe to be a model and throw out your belifes then for sure not the show for me. This is what the media is telling our young girls parents!!
Monday, January 12, 2004
I about have Josh talked into letting me meet my online friends who live in Vegas. I snuck it in by saying, Oh Ya btw, I have two free dinners lined up for when we get to Vegas. Josh has been very opposed to me meeting, however inocent it is, anyone from online. It has been a long standing rule. A good rule, a safe rule.He finaly is breaking and said, ok tell me about these freaks you want me to meet. Cuz ofcourse anyone I talk to is a freak right, no such thing as a normal person on line right. Anyways, I told him well you know that guy Bill who was my Vet in my journal for Veterns Day. No he didnt remember until I reminded him that he teased me that I must of had a crush on him. I said that his wife Libby and him are open to having dinner with us. See Josh, its not like it would be me alone with some crazy, he has a wife just like you. lol They are older, maybe our parnents age and how bad can he be, he was a cop and trained K-9dogs.Ok got him convinced that this wouldnt be so bad. Then he said, wait you said two dinners, who is the other one you want to have it with. Oh just this guy from my prayer group. His name is Russ and he also invited us to dinner with him and his wife.Older, like in their early 40s I have just started to get to know him better. He is perty much homebound, he is sick, but I never did ask specifcly with what, just that what ever the drugs he is on and the treatment effects his memory and him doing things like working and doing the bills. He has been such an encouragement to me, and sends the most insperational e-mails and prayers and how awesome would it be to meet him this side of heaven and sit and pray with him and fellowship with him and his wife. But I told Josh I could understand if that is too out there for him, that he is not ready to step out that far, if he is not that trusting, (guilt, guilt here, tisk Mary). Well at least I got Josh to think about it, will know more as the time gets closer. Tentivly we are going to Vegas on the 12th-15th. Consuleo's birthday party is Friday the 13th and then ofcourse Valantines day is the 14th. An expensive weekend to be in Vegas I might add. So when we would fit these dinners in is another story.
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Friday, January 9, 2004
How will you know what you are capable of if you don't give yourself a chance? You will find you can do more and love more than you ever imagined. If you find yourself in that position of having to choose, cuz you have found that the child you carry will not be quite perfect ask yourself that question.
If you have ever seen any of an aborted child, you know that they in of themselves are just revolting and if you have any heart you feel for that life that should have been. Teachers and activist have used graphic pictures before to convey a moral message on an issue. The Holocaust, in Schindler's List and even now in text books you will see the horrors of the Nazi part under the banner "NEVER AGAIN" In the media to show just how horrible the situation in Africa is getting with the aids crisis they have shown pictures of the many orphans and the many ppl infected and unable to get treated. They are very graphic. A picture if not distorted, shows the true story, tells it better than any number that a person will read on the page. I can read that in Africa 1 in 4 is infected and will die, but if I see the pic of what the statistic is saying, I am moved to see just how horrible that is. I can be told that Hitler tried to exterminate the Jewish population but when I see bodies stacked up in mass graves and see the gas chambers, I know that it was fact and not just something made up. It is telling a truth, not emotional manipulating someone to think one way or the other. It gives definition to the issue, to the very word. Why would it be any different when using pictures of aborted babies? The truth is the pro-abortion side would not want you to look at them, just as the Nazis wouldn't want you to look at pictures of the Holocaust. Because it shows the truth about what is being done, remember every 23 seconds. I challenge you to look at these pictures and still tell me that this should be a legal choice. If you find the pictures offensive, I ask you, is it the picture or what it captures, the violent destruction of a valuable life. http://www.angelfire.com/mo3/abuse/pics.html
Thursday, January 8, 2004
"Sanger also entertained some popular ideas of her own time that are out of keeping with our thinking today. Finding it easier to undermine her character than to confront the message she conveyed, the anti-family planning movement has seized upon some of these ideas, taken them out of context, and exaggerated and distorted them in order to discredit Sanger and the organization she founded"
They are not proud of her other views so they deny she said them or that they are being distorted. Well, considering the statistics, it seems that the organization she founded is carrying out today just what she indeed believed.
Today 35% of all abortion clients are African American when they are make up about 13% of the population (seem odd to you)? 4 ½ more times likely than white women to have an abortion. And women who are found to be pregnant with a deformed child or one that will likely have a mental illness, is encouraged to end the pregnancy.
Read her quotes below that Planned Parenthood claims are distortions.
"The most merciful thing that a large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it."
Margaret Sanger, Women and the New Race (Eugenics Publ. Co., 1920, 1923)
On blacks, immigrants and indigents:
"...human weeds,' 'reckless breeders,' 'spawning... human beings who never should have been born." Margaret Sanger, Pivot of Civilization, referring to immigrants and poor people On sterilization & racial purification:
Sanger believed that, for the purpose of racial "purification," couples should be rewarded who chose sterilization. Birth Control in America, The Career of Margaret Sanger, by David Kennedy, p. 117, quoting a 1923 Sanger speech.
On the right of married couples to bear children:
Couples should be required to submit applications to have a child, she wrote in her "Plan for Peace." Birth Control Review, April 1932
On the purpose of birth control:
The purpose in promoting birth control was "to create a race of thoroughbreds," she wrote in the Birth Control Review, Nov. 1921 (p. 2)
On the rights of the handicapped and mentally ill, and racial minorities:
"More children from the fit, less from the unfit -- that is the chief aim of birth control." Birth Control Review, May 1919, p. 12
In her "Plan for Peace," Sanger outlined her strategy for eradication of those she deemed "feebleminded." Among the steps included in her evil scheme were immigration restrictions; compulsory sterilization; segregation to a lifetime of farm work; etc. Birth Control Review, April 1932, p. 107
On eradicating 'bad stocks':
The goal of eugenicists is "to prevent the multiplication of bad stocks," wrote Dr. Ernst Rudin in the April 1933 Birth Control Review (of which Sanger was editor). Another article exhorted Americans to "restrict the propagation of those physically, mentally and socially inadequate."
On the extermination of blacks:
"We do not want word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population," she said, "if it ever occurs to any of their more rebellious members." Woman's Body, Woman's Right: A Social History of Birth Control in
Wednesday, January 7, 2004
Hi Mary, I have viewed the cd and read your email. It is a very tragic story concerning this subject and I agree it would be good to teach this. The five sessions seem quite lengthy but possibly we could have a Sunday evening time to present this. I'm not sure what kind of turn out you would have but I guess that is not the real issue. We of course would want the teens to attend.It may be a good idea to present this to the public through the media in anyway we can. I would like to discuss this with you. I will speak with Gary and Jesse also and get some more input.I appreciate your passion on this dreadful subject.
I just got that today from my Pastor after he went threw a cd I gave him and read the essay I wrote with the info I got from it. I added the links for you so you would know what he was talking about. I am going up to church tonight to talk more about it with him and the leaders of the teen ministry. I agree we should put out some media to the public about the seminar but maybe a second one, after I get my feet wet and teach ppl I know first lol, who knows we will see. It is all in God's hands.
My family hardly comes to my journal, I have to make Josh come here when I want him to read something improtant I worte lol but recently I did link my mom here when I told her what I was currently writting about. I also sent her a copy of my testimony and the essay I wrote about abortion. But I purposly told her before I sent them that I love her and that I did not blame her in anyway for her part in my abortion exsperance. That I had since forgave her. This is obviously something her and I never talk about and after she read all that we had a very good chat. It was so good and I think some more healing will come of it. I had to post it here, it was a challange to get it to fit in this journal. Can't wait till they increase the charter limit!! I had to creativly edit to fit into the four posts that are below this one. My mom is a very sensitve and gentle woman. She did the best she could raising us wild childs and we went threw alot. She blames her self for not being a good mother sometimes and for making mistakes. She is too hard on herself. She has been my best friend threw some of my hardest times. I love her so much!!!!!!
well part of healing is talking it out with God in prayer too. And knowing with out of any dought that he has forgiven you and has cast it away as far as the east is from the west. So when it does come back up you can face it with no shame That is the only way i can be soo open about it now. I know God has forgiven me and healed me of those hurts. Satan can't throw it back at me. It is wiped out when i first came to that relization of what abortion was, i was so sad. I thought to myself, sure he can forgive me for everything else in my life i have done, but not this one big thing, i have to earn his forgivness.But I was wrong and threw bible reading and prayer and the post abortion counciling I came to see that it was all done at the cross, and I didnt have to begg for it, work for it.Just ask for it. and I didnt have to dwell on it, he took that shame and guilt awaycan you see why now I love God so much, why I have so much Joy, and Peace?
Tuesday, January 6, 2004
CDC and Prevention
The Allan Guttmacher Institute (a research arm of Planed Parenthood)
US Census Bureau
National Vital Statistics Reports, Vol. 48, Number 11
I have written an eassay using the following information. E-Mail to request a copey because there is just no room to do it in this journal.
Minority Population Targeted
35% of all abortion clients are African American when they make up about 13% of the population (seem odd to you?)
4 ½ more times likely than white women to have an abortion.
Used as Birth Control
46% of women who have abortions reported that they used no contraceptive and more than half are having repeat abortions.
Monday, January 5, 2004
The next few post will probly get heavly into the abortion issue. I am doing alot of studding on this subject and am about ready to teach a seminar to the teens at church about it.I am finding alot of very intresting info and I am getting excited about how God has lead me to where I have come to be able to speak to other about this subject. If you have kept up with my journal at all you know that this is an important subject for me, I know God can use me where I have been hurt the most.
I just thought I would put that out there, not really as a warning, cuz I would like for all to keep up with what I post, but I know this is a sensitive subject to many. I just want to say ahead of time, I do not judge anyone, how can I when I have been guilty of it myself, and that Our Lord is so wonderful, and he is quick to forgive if we confess it to him and ask him to. Just wanted to get that little note out of the way.
One thing I have noticed in my reading of both sides websites and littaure, the war of words. Depending on your view is depending how you refer to the "other side". Ever noticed that those who are for abortion rights are call themselves Pro-Choice and then they call the other side Anti-abortion. And those who call themselves Pro-Life, call the other side Pro-Abortion. All words picked very carfuly it seems to me when some one is writting. I can always tell when some one is "Pro-Choice" when the refer to ppl that are "Pro-Life" as anti-abortion and vice versa. OH but what I have notied in the media, they never refrance ppl as Pro-Life, they always call them anti-abortion. Jan is the anv. of Roe vs Wade, so this will be in the news alot and on talk radio alot, just you watch and listion and see if I am wrong on the War of Words thing.
Saturday, January 3, 2004
FYI Abortion Doctors are considered the scum of thier perfesion. No one goes to medical school and thinks gee, I will become an abortionist.. This case is no shocker, but I am surprised it did make it into the media, shame they wont report all the malpractice suites agenst practicing abortionists at local clinics when they botch it and send poor women to the hospital. When they get reprimanded, they move on to another state, another clinic. Think about that=-O
Friday, January 2, 2004
I say my worst fear because this is exaclty why I didnt want girls. I was abused at a young age and NEVER want any of my children to go threw something like that. I have come to peace with what has happen to me in my past but things like this bring it up again. Some of you may laugh this off as just kids being kids or boys being boys, but it is sick and I have to wonder why a boy would do this with little todlers. What has he himself seen or been apart of? This is indeed a sick world.
This evening I had to take Zane and Annie to wresling practice cuz Josh was doing some side work and wouldn't make it. And since we needed to pay for a ternament Zane is going to tomorrow I had to be up there. So I had all four kids in tow. Practice is held at the highschool's wresling room and generaly parents wait out in the hall but can view the kids threw windows. A few other parents also had to bring thier little ones along so Lilly and Sophia had some playmates. Tonight an older boy, 11-13ish almost a teenager, sat out cuz he had a broken foot but his sibling was practicing and his mom is active. It wasn't so bad, the kids brought some toys and some one had brought a portable dvd play with Monster's Inc playing. Most of the night the kids ran up and down the hall right there in front of the windows to the wresling room. At the end of the hall there are vending matchines in a corrner space, perty much out of view from down the hall. Lilly was playing with one of the coaches little boy, he is maybe 2 and the older boy. They was tossing a football around at the end of the hall. I was glancing over there but watching the dvd with Sophia, she was being a brat and I was trying to calm her down. I over heard the older boy say to the little ones, come here I have a game for ya and out of the corner of my eye saw them go into the corrner where you couldnt see them. Mommy alarm went off in me, but I waited a min. to see if they would come out of the corner. I quietly walked down the hall and peeped in on them. I saw the older boy instructing Lilly to stick her tounge in the little boy's mouth!!!!!! Right away I grabed the older boy by the ear and pulled him up saying WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING! He said nothing, I didnt make her do it, I didnt tell her to. I let go of him and said she is only 3 yrs old! Don't Lie I saw YOU and asked him his name and his mom's name, that we was going to have a talk! He told me and then ran down the hall. I picked Lilly up and asked her what game they was play and didn't she remember about the no touching rule? She said it was a kissing game and started crying cuz she thought she was in trouble.
Thursday, January 1, 2004
Hope everyone had a fun time lastnight and made it safely home. We stayed in and watched movies and ate pizza. My two oldest made it to Midnight and are so proude of themselves. We had thought about going down to Forest Park for the big celabration here in St Louis. They are celbrating the anv of the World's Fair and had the big fairiswheel up. But we thought it best with the kids to stay home and watching the news I am so glad we did. They said it was total gridlock down there and many ppl didn't even make it into the park. The up side is we rented a movie and I want to highly highly recomend it to you all!
I had heard about his movie when it org. came out but didn't have the time then to go see it. I was surprised to see it at the video store and just had to get it. I was even more shocked at some of the big name stars they got to do this movie, Gavin MacLeod (LoveBoat and Mary TylerMoore),Hal Linden (Barney Miller),Jenniefer O'Neil (Summer of '42),Paul Rodriguez (the comedian). Some big names for a smaller production and all ppl I had seen in shows growing up. The movie is a good clean family movie, no cussing or violence but a really well written story and funny yet dramatic. If you like family movies and sci-fi movies, with a good message, this is a must see!! I am currently looking to see if this same company has anyother movies out that we might see. I will let you all know what I find. I did find searching the web a site that will edit movies for you to buy if you dont want all that cussing and violnce in your entertainment. CleanFlims is what the site is called, I may try them out. It was so nice to sit down with the whole family and watch a movie and not have to worry about the junk or having to exsplain something that was inapraite for the kids.