Thursday, March 31, 2005

Terri Schiavo dies today AMEN HUNTER.. A MUST READ!

Another sad day in America

I have stayed out of the debate about Terry but just know I am very sad today when I found out that she had finally died.  It disgusts me to no end that she was starved to death when there were those willing to take care of her.  America.. take a long good look at this case.. it could be you in the future.

I don't know where Terry was with the Lord and I am one who thinks we never know what happens the last few seconds before death or even in this case if she had internal conversations with God and couldn't voice what she was thinking out loud.  But again this is a reminder.. tomorrow is promised to NO BODY.. choose today whom you will serve.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Wow actualy reading the flylady digest e-mails I have been getting..

I think I have known about flylady for well over two years now and know all the lingo and such.  I wore my laced shoes and shined my sink and was starting to do all the little routines slowly.. you know, baby steps.  Then I was burned by the prayer group she had started, basicly that was why I started Prayer In Jesus Name, but that is a differnt story. But since then I had stopped reading her e-mails that I signed up to get in digest form. Delet, Delet because.. duh I was to lazy to unsubscribe.  So after the time I have been having lately I thought tonight I would click that e-mail and see what I have been missing and found the following words of encouragment.  Enjoy...

   Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2005 03:33:41 -0000
   From: "FLYLADY" <>
Subject: Are you Part of a Circus Act?

Dear Friends,

I know that you have spent several years, feeling over worked and
frazzled. Most of the time after a tiring day of running around with
your head cut off, you can see absolute nothing you have accomplished.
I know just how tired you feel. Your day has been spent running around
putting out one fire and then the next. Oh and we are so good at
dealing with crisis situations. In fact we pride ourselves for being
so good under pressure.

We have all seen the juggler that can keep several plates spinning on
a several poles at one time. Do you feel like this person most of the
time? Running every which way, being forced to jump to keep the plate
from hitting the ground. What happens if you stop? You think you would
have a lot of broken plates. I have a little secret.  We don't let the
plates fall off the poles, we grab them in full spin and set them on
the counter.

I know your frustration. Running around putting out fires is not very
productive work. Guess why? You are letting the problems set your
schedule for the day. Kelly and I are giving you to tools for you to
address these spinning plates once and for all time. The stress level
that you have put yourself under is not good for your health or your

Each time you are in the midst of spinning those plates, think about
why you are forced to juggle them.

1. You didn't pay a bill on time. So you are running around trying to
get it paid before the electric company turns off your power, or the
phone company shuts down your service. You have the money in the bank,
but you just forgot to pay the bill? Not having the money is another
problem, and believe it or not this system will help you with that

2.  It is 6:00pm and you have no clue what's for supper. Your children
are hungry, so you pile everyone in the car and go for fast food. The
guilt levels are rising and money is being spent on food that is not
that good for your body. No wonder you can't lose weight or there is
no money to pay the bills.

3. Getting yourself dressed and the family dressed is a pain, because
you don't have clean clothes. They are sitting in the dryer and were
not quite dry when the dryer stopped and they have soured. Or they are
wadded up in the laundry basket and not fittin' to wear  because of
all the wrinkles. Or even worse they are in piles all over the house
and have never been washed to start with.  You know that sick feeling
when your child needs their baseball uniform and it has been at the
bottom of the laundry pile, because it just slipped your mind. There
were just too many loads to do, so you became overwhelmed and stayed
on the computer too long, so you didn't have to think about it. Guess
what. Out of sight, Out of Mind, does not work for this problem.

4. You need to leave the house for an appointment and you can't find
your car keys. Don't you just hate that helpless feeling and the more
you search, the later you become and the more stressed you feel. That
doesn't even begin to address the fact that you were running late to
begin with, because you were having a hard time finding something to
wear. Do you see the vicious cycle of spinning plates. One is just
about to hit the floor.

Do you want out of this frantic juggling circus act?

Here are the steps?

Listen to us and start by establishing small routines for your morning
and evening. Oh and put on your lace up shoes!

As part of  your routines, we ask you to think about your day, think
about tomorrow and think about next week. This simple act, called
planning is going to help you quit spinning your plates. No longer
will you be stomping out fires or trying to keep the plates from
hitting the floor, you will be in control of your schedule. As you
stop the plates from spinning you will find more time for the
important things in life.  The daily maintenance of your home and
yourself becomes automatic.

This will not happen over night. This is why we teach you to establish
one habit at a time. As each new habit becomes part of your routine,
you are taking that plate off the pole and putting it in the cupboard.
Eventually you will be in total control and only have one plate to
spin on rare occasions. You will find that this peace is contagious.
The more you implement your routines, the easier it is to add new,

This is behavior modification. You are going to have to wean yourself
off of the adrenaline rush that you have been getting from the CHAOS.
So the next time you feel yourself spinning plates, take 5 minutes and
look at what caused this circus act. I'll bet it can be traced to
something you refused to do or didn`t even think about until it was
too late. This is why I send out all of these reminders.

Are you ready to FLY without spinning Plates,


Rantings and nooo it is not depression (or is that denial?)

This morning I awoke on the couch to my husband yelling at me for not making his juice.. his clothes in the dryer were not dry, why did I sleep on the couch... this is how you take care of ME!?  Ohhh crap!  What could I say? All true and I felt guilt guilt guilt.  I fell asleep on the couch maybe 10 min. after he went to bed.  I was watching a movie and wanted to finish it before I went to bed.  I had taken out the juice to defrost while I watched the movie so I could make it before I went to bed.  I DID put his clothes in the dryer but ofcourse I didn't clean out the lint trap thus the heavy towel and the work clothes didn't get dried all the way. Yes he has told me numerous times that is how fires start.

How do I respond to all this?  I say I am sorry and retreat to my bed.  Basically hiding.  I can't argue with facts.  I am a horrible domesticated wife.  I just can't get it together.  I would rather be like Mary at Jesus's feet then like Martha who does the busy work.  This is the balance I have been saying I want to find but not really working hard to get there.  I was all fired up with promises in my head that Yes I can be the mother and wife God has called me to be but then I got home and although I am still on a spiritual high I have not gone threw with the house work I had plotted out to get done.

I have had two nightmares with the word DIVORCE in them. The first one was a weird wacky one where I didn't remember consenting to a divorce and tore the divorce certificate in half saying NO way is that going to happen to us!  The second one was this morning after I went back to bed and dreamed about what I really wanted to say to my husband, Make your own dang juice.. it is YOUR diet, why do you want to loose weight anyways, to attract a better women, and other such things and blurted out, well if you really feel that I take such poor care of you then divorce me and find a maid to marry you.  Ofcourse these are just bad dreams.  Josh and I have promised long ago never to say the D word to each other because it just isn't going to happen.  But yet he goes on and on about the sad statistics in the Painter's Union of how many divorces there are especially after the first year an apprentice turns Journeymen. As we all know that is just months away now when he will be a Journeymen.

My friend was supposed to come over today to help me with some house stuff. I had asked her on the retreat if she would help me and she had called me yesterday saying to just call her when I got out of bed today and she would be right over. I laughed, well since it is spring break I can get out of bed anytime since I don't have to be up to get the kids to school. I told her probably 9 or 10 but I didn't call over to her house until 11 and she didn't answer.  Maybe she got sick of waiting on me, she has a life too you know but I was really looking forward to her coming over.  It really takes a lot for me to ask for help, to recognize I can't do it on my own. 

I really do feel ashamed about the state my home is in. The piles of laundry that never get put away or done for that mater. The grim on the bathtub. The constantly messy bedrooms and living room. The cluttered desk and shelves.  I am the worst flybaby in history.  My deepest fear is ppl talking about how bad I am and my house, judging me.  So to ask some one to come over and see my house in all its messy glory, it takes a lot of trust. I did just recently see a show on TV called How Clean Is Your House and it made me feel a bit better that I was not as bad as the cat lady who left kitty poop and barf all over her house.

This also maybe just my reaction and stress from coming home from my MIL who is very neat and tidy.  Josh reminds me how she kept a house neat as a pin and worked a full time job and raised 3 kids herself, how much simpler it should be for me who stays home full time.  I really do love his mother and respect her deeply.  She did a wonderful Job raising my husband and not that I am complaining about my own mother but if I would of had his saint of a mother as a role model maybe I would know how to keep the balance.  We have been married going on 9 years and this has always been a problem. His mom has a very crummy job right now and needs desperately to find something better.  Ofcourse we want her to find something in our area and Josh always invites her to live with us, to find a bigger house for us all to share.

I have to fight the lazy feeling, get off my butt and just do it. But I don't feel like doing anything and then I read in Mrs Peachy's Journal about her confession about maybe she may be suffering from depression.  I could relate to some of her comments about how shehas been feeling and that yes maybe I could use a good dose of something to get me to feel better.  But I am from the stand point that depression is very much a spiritual matter as well as a medical one.  If I am depressed then that means something is wrong with my spiritual walk with God and I need to identify it and ask him to be the one to heal me.  I don't want to be dependant on pills when I know I am a bad pill taker to begin with (why you think I have 4 kids!).  I think perhaps Prozac may be a medication that is well over used in America.  That is my personal opinion and I am not saying to anyone NOT to take them or seek help.

As always just writing about everything gives me a release and I feel some what better.  Time to get off of here and figure out where to start.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Back Home!

I have to thank (((JESS))) for turning me on to Southpaw. He is the master rapping the song Baby Got Book that is today's listening in my ~J, a parody of Baby Got Back. Thought I would change it up some, a little faster then the last song I had.

I hope everyone had a blessed weekend.  We had a nice time over at Josh's mom's. Uncle Bob was in town and he was nice enough to be the "Easter Bunny" this year and got the kids a bunch of goodies.  Sophia my 3yrd didn't believe me when I told her Uncle Bob was the Easter Bunny.  "But he doesn't have bunny ears!" she exclaimed. "No but he likes carrots" I told her.  Maybe next year she will understand.  Lilly didn't have any problem with it and still had fun.

Seemed like the Discovery Channel was working over time putting out misinformation about my Lord.  Made me so sick I couldn't watch it.  We did catch the tail end of an old movie about Christ on TMC, the one where John Wayne has a cameo appearance. Ofcourse this one is less bloody then Mel Gibson's Passion Of The Christ so I was able to let the little ones watch it with me.  Even still I kept thinking during the trail and the crucifixion scenes, it was worse then that, much worse, that is like glossing it over and barley scratching the surface of what he suffered. Still I was very moved by the movie. You know kids will say things or ask things that catch you off guard and you can only marvel.  Lilly my 5yrd was sitting with me watching the movie and at the part where Jesus stumbles carrying the cross she said, "The cross must of been very heavy Mommy." "Yes honey, it was very heavy but see even Jesus needed help carrying it, just like with our own troubles we need help, and he helps us." Still it got me in very deep thought about how heavy our own crosses that we bear can be and still it is nothing compared to what Jesus took on himself. She surprised me out of that thought when she was watching the Roman Soldiers nailing Jesus to the cross. She was very upset and said "Those guys in the capes are evil!" What could I say to that?! Yes it is true they were evil but weren't we all when in sin, when we did not know the Truth, he was nailed to that cross for all of us. I told her, "maybe sweetie, maybe but Jesus said No man takes his life, he lays it down for us.  Jesus LET that guy do that to him, he could of stopped it at any time. And he let him do that so he could die for our sins." We watched him die on the cross silently together. I held my breath until he said what I hold to be the most precious promise of all, "It Is Finished". Still gives me goose bumps. I told Lilly, watch, see that he comes back from the grave, that is why we celebrate. When he ascended up to heaven Lilly jumped up and yelled, "he went to go prepare the Party for when he comes to get us!!" I reminded her that yes he did but we only get an invitation if.. we love him today and live for him today. : )


So it is Spring Break around here.  A whole week off from school.. what am I going to do with all these kids LOL. Put them to work, that is what. So right now my feet are kicked up and my older two are doing dishes.  If they get done with out fighting maybe we will go and fly kites at the park. I do have several post plotted out in my head but I am trying to keep a balance with my computer time. They will come.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Resurrection Day!

I just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful Holiday this weekend.  I will be out of town and celebrating with my family the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, my savior and redeemer.

Oh sure we will have the candy in baskets and maybe some eggs hidden around the house for fun but we don't tell our kids that the "Easter Bunny" left them but rather focus on the true reason for celebration.  The tomb is empty, he Lives!


Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Ladies Retreat Picuters

Looking threw the pictures I am reminded how BEAUTIFUL my surroundings were at the retreat.  The Retreat was held at Cross Point Center in Lake of the Ozarks MO.  We were surrounded by the glistening lake. Some of these pictures will take your breath away.



I really had an awesome time and was so blessed.  I feel very refreshed and my focus is sharper.  I have so much I want to share but I am still meditating on some of what I heard and saw.  I am still taking something of a break from the computer.  I just jumped on because I had to look up directions for Josh and then ofcourse one thing leads to another and I am here posting my pictures. LOL

The whole weekend was a wonderful time of fellowship with ladies from my church and meeting some new friends.  I described it to Josh to be something like a Slumber Party. We stayed up late talking, pigged out on snacks and oh ofcourse we prayed and worshiped and learned and heard from The Lord.

There was some mess about my snoring.. I don't think anyone will ever share a room with me again.  I guess it was so bad a particular lady tried ear plugs and when that didn't work she went to sleep in the bath tub.  I bet she is wondering how my husband can stand to sleep in the same room with me each night.  I am told not to worry, that this lady is a very light sleeper, so I will let it roll.  I can't help it, I am dead to the world when I get into a deep sleep.  I will have to keep that in mind for next year when thinking of room arrangements.

The last set of pictures is of my good friend Kathy bawling her eyes out.  The explanation of that is all weekend she was being teased by us because we knew something she didnt.  She knew her husband was up to something and was calling us all evil for not telling her what it was.  He had remodeled their bedroom to surprise her.  Literally their room did not have any dry wall up because they are in perpetual remodel.  We tried to give her suddle hints but not enough to give it away.  One of the teachings was on the Jewish customs for marriage and how the groom would go away to prepare the bridal chamber.  Ohh when I heard that I had to whisper to some of the Ladies.. THAT is what John is doing.. preparing the bridal chamber for Kathy. LMBO. And all we told her was to just think about the teaching we just heard.  It was great fun to tease her but as you can see she was surprised.  I told Josh any time a man makes something for his wife with his hands it means a lot (hint hint).

My very fav. pic is of sunset by the meditation point where the big cross is.  I think that is going to be my new place to go and pray, my quiet place where I can go and meet the Lord. I had wanted to go at sun up and get another picture of that spot but no way was that going to happen.  I barely made breakfast much less sun up.

I will be back sometime this week with my notes and some words I heard from the Lord that blessed me so much. I hope to catch up with all my journal friends next week.  I should of put a hold on my alerts but forgot so ofcourse my mail box is full!

Thursday, March 17, 2005


This is also the famous popscile outfit.. Josh hates this outfit on me and teases me anytime I wear it.  Haha can't pinch me!






This is from is from the lady who runs the after kids school club Zane and Annie go to, Kids 4 Christ.  Thought it fitting for today.


Ok that is it.. see you next week.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Yes the dreaded H word...






I can't tell you all how incredibly BLESSED I have been by the people who read what I have to say.  Especially this week it seems like God has been moving and shaking and some how or another he choose me to be in the middle of it.  I posted that Humpty Dumpty thought to my prayer group and the response is overwhelming. Anna even re-posted it on her journal.. cool! I know the comment section seems to be running bear lately but wow to the e-mails I have been getting.  I am just so honored.  I am just being me and giving the words I feel he has given me to share, nothing special I think but to some ppl who need that word right then and there I know it can mean the world.  I have seen God move in some mighty ways the last few weeks.. a friend receiving Christ into her heart...WOW PTL! Another friend just being really down and receiving the word of encouragement and starting to feel the presence of the Lord back in her life again.. Awesome! I am very excited about the person who asked for permission to use my testimony about abortion in a report her daughter is witting.  I really wish some of these ppl would post their praise reports on the prayer group and not just the private e-mails.. everyone needs to see how he works in your life, it helps others who are waiting on that answer that yes indeed he hears you and answers.

I love my journal and I LOVE praying for other ppl.  Talking about the Lord with others or just being there for a friend is something I enjoy very much.  LOL plus I love journal/blog hopping and getting a peak into others lives.

But this is where the H word comes in.  The other day my husband, who really doesn't have a clue to half the stuff I do online made a comment that I have to address.  I give too much of myself to the computer.. he says.  Yep, sure I do, I totally agree.  Sometimes it is very hard for me to find that balance between computer time, being online and doing other stuff with the computer and offline in the world and doing stuff for my family and home.  I want to scream.. don't you know that because of ME this or that person has been effect, don't you know this is part of something bigger than us.. but that is *gulp*the wrong attitude, that is pride. It isn't anything I do, but all God.  If not me then some one else who is a servant will be there. My first and for most ministry is to be to my family.  If I am not taking care of them and myself the way I should be I certainly can't do anything for anyone else.  Right? Right!

Every now and then I have to take a Hiatus and get my focus back.  I know the Women's Retreat this weekend is going to help a lot with that.  I am looking forward to that time away and what ever God has to show me.  Oh yess I will be back with notes and pictures, you better believe it! Don't go taking me off your alerts just yet.  I wish I could take all my online friends with me! LOL I know this is going to be a great bonding time with some of the other ladies from church.

I think for now I will be off until at least next week.  So I can process from the retreat and get my focus back on my home life.  Again I say to those who are my real close friends who have my #, if you need me call me.

Much Love,


I went to look at the video to laugh but instead was encouraged and amazed

I was reading one of my daily e-mails yesterday and one was from Accuracy in Media and clicked the link to thier blog to read about the fight over the interview for the women who was held hostage by the murder who shot up that court room and killed all those people. I have not kept up with the story at all. Just read the little head lines here and there.  The blog left a link to the interview where you could see in the back ground a producer guy upset on his cell and then being carted away  by police.  It is nothing new to me to see how the media acts over big stories having lived threw it with my sister when my niece was kidnapped, so I wanted to go and laugh at the guy and didn't even think I was going to pay attention to the interview. But I did and was amazed!  MSNBC - How hostage got Atlanta suspect to set her free Wow!  I was just talking about The Purpouse Driven Life book with a friend.  I read it last year.  I get thier daily devotional in e-mail from thier web site. It is amazing that this women was able to read to this guy from the book and the Bible, to stay calm and albe to just talk to him about life and God.  A Devine apointment indeed.   Here is Today's Devotional from The Purpouse Driven Life website that deals with what this women did.

Acting Out the Purposes of God
by John Fischer

Chances are youre not going to have an armed murder suspect who has just allegedly killed four people force you into your house and tie you up today at gun-point, but a 26-year-old single mom had that happen to her, and she behaved in a manner that could only be described as empowered by the Spirit of God. She calmly talked her captor into untying her so she could fix him breakfast and read to him from the Bible and from The Purpose Driven Life.

You got out of that courthouse with police everywhere, and you dont think thats a miracle? she told him. You dont think youre supposed to be sitting right here in front of me Your miracle could be that you need to be caught for this. If you go to prison, then you need to share the word of God with all the prisoners there.

Would you have thought of that? Would you have thought that being tied up at gun-point by a convicted rapist and murderer was a part of Gods purpose for you and for him? I cant say I would have reacted like that. But then again, if we are living a purpose-driven life, wouldnt that be true of everything that happens to us? This woman chose to believe it, and what a time she picked to act!


There is a good chance you are going through something right now that seems a long way from the purposes of God. Well look at this situation and reconsider. Heres a woman who assumed it was no accident that this happened to her. She could have freaked out or she could have assumed God was in it and treated it as destiny. This woman didnt just believe; she acted on her belief.

I think we can all take some courage from this today. I know I have issues in my life that I have come to think of as somehow exempt from the purposes of God. Perhaps theres another way to look at it. Ask yourself if there might be a purpose God has in what you are going through; and then ask God to show you what it is. His purposes begin to show up as we believe increasingly that we have an accident-free God and act accordingly. This single mom seemed to gain courage as she went along. Thats the courage that comes from finding out, as you go, that God is empowering you to fit into His plan for the universe -- for you and for those around you.

Monday, March 14, 2005

If I had enough room this would of been perfect...

"My ups, my downs, my victories, my defeats, my adoration, my apathy, my faith, my doubts, my questions -- and God's responses -- are recorded in my journals.  These entries are love letters from my heart to God's -- messages from His heart to mine -- letters sent special delivery to and from heaven that have changed my life on earth.  I sign my letters in ink that will one day fade.  But God signs His in indelible ink -- the blood of His Son shed for me, blood that covers my imperfection and allows me to pray openly to Him."

p. 13Lynn Morrissey, Love Letters to God

I get a weekly e-mail for WOV (Women Of Virtue) and this was part of it.  I thought wow! That is almost perfect to put in the discription section of my journal.  The one I have now is kinda stale I think.  But alas there is a 500 chareter limit and aperently that is over the limit.

Here is the scripture that goes with the e-mail.

This week's verse of encouragement:

"You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry,written not with ink but with the Spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts."
2 Corinthians 3:3 (NIV)

You know I have been poundering more my last post.  You know what I am thinking.. I am in for it.  Yep.  The little voice said to me, Sure it is easy for you to write that now, to say that to those going threw a test or a trial while you are in a comfortable place, but will you still be albe to say it when you are the one being flung up agenst the wall, when your own air bubbles are being worked out?? *Gulp*

You know I want to say.. BRING IT OWN, I CAN HANDLE WHAT EVER YOU THROW MY WAY. My faith is strong in him. But really I want to say... NOooooo  don't turn that heat up right now, I am very comfortable where I am.  Ya, maybe too comfortable??  So I am expecting something to happen, and soon.  I am praying my responce will be one that proves that I actualy believe what I say, that I can walk the walk, run the race just as well as I can talk the talk.  I don't know what it will be. I see many ppl going threw so much and I wonder could I respond with the right attidude? Will I be able to show Love to those who hurt me, Will I be able to trust that even if the situation has no positive out come in site, will I still trust that God is indeed in control and cast those cares to him?  Will my Peace in him be rattled or will I stay in this rest I have become acustom to? With him it could be anything but what ever it is, he is with me and when I get on the other side I will be changed just a bit more for his glory.  And that is a good thing!

Maybe it is going to be this weekend at the Women's Retreat? I am so looking forward to that.  More about that later.

who can put your pieces back together again?

I can't wait to get the tape from Sunday's service.  The whole time I was thinking... I know just the right person to send this too, gosssssh I wish they still posted on their website!  Even still the message was good for me to hear also and always be reminded that there are times and seasons in our lives that God puts us in.  I have heard sermons on the potter and the clay before so that was not new but Pastor Richie did a wonderful service.  I guess also the fact that I have missed two Sunday's in a row made my soul so thirty for fellowship and hearing of the Word.  Since I have missed a lot lately I feel out of the loop, things going on and a lot of changes.  The merging of two churches is going faster than expected.  And that is a good thing.  I won't go into all that because that was not the intent of my post.

Something that Richie said that has been rattling around in my brain I thought note worthy to post.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.  All the King's horses and all the King's men could not put Humpty back together again.  But.. The KING can.

An old familiar child's nursery rhyme takes on a new meaning.

How often when we fall and have cracks and broken pieces do we let man try and fix us or try and take it all on upon ourselves to fix our problems and our hurts?  And how far does that get us, not very far in my experience. Sure councilors and psychologists and even friends can give good advice but when our hurts are so deep our broken pieces are so many, our soul so longing and  hurt, the only one who can truly do the work, if we let him, is THE KING himself. 

Pastor suggested that Humpty Dumpty may of been pushed off that wall on purpose, for a purpose.  He concluded that may be it was THE KING himself who pushed him. *GASP* Initially that is a horrible thought!!!  WHY WOULD HE DO THAT to poor Humpty or to me or you for that matter!  Who hasn't cried out "WHY GOD! WHY ME! WHY THIS!" or "HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME! HOW COULD YOU ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME OR TO THIS PERON!"

This is where scripture comes in, where we can see how God works and his character.  Taking the example of the potter and the clay.  Scripture tells us God is the potter and we are his clay, that he molds us and perfects us for his purpose, for his plan, to form us into what he chooses.  I am not some one who works with clay but I remember from art class how it works and also from some of my reading.  At first clay is not easy to work with, you have to slap it around some to make it plyable, get the air bubbles out, the imperfections out, to soften it. God does that with us, working our perfections out, showing us where we need him to work in our lives.  I am told when working with clay on the spinning wheel that the artist never takes his hand off the clay as he forms it, even when he is correcting something or dipping a hand in water, always at least one hand on the work.  Same way God always has his hand on us and on our life.  How some seasons of our life we don't feel his hand but it is always there, work and molding.  For me that is a very comforting thought.

I have come to be able to trust God no matter what the situation may look like because I know he is in the middle of it all, he has a plan and a purpose, He IS IN CONTROL.  I know he THE KING can put my broken pieces back together again.  I know he is molding and sculpting me for HIS purpose and the end result is going to be beautiful.  A lessen learned in trust or other truths he is revealing to me, always leading me and drawing me closer to him.

If you are feeling like poor Humpty Dumpty today or a piece of clay that is being slapped around take comfort that THE KING is going to put you back together and you ARE being molded and perfected threw these trials and hurts you are facing.

Some good scripture references:

2 Corinthians 4:8 [We are] troubled on every side, yet not distressed; [we are] perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

Isaiah 64:8 But now, O LORD, thou [art] our father; we [are] the clay, and thou our potter; and we all [are] the work of thy hand.

Jeremiah 18:3 Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels. 4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make [it]. 5 Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying,6 O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay [is] in the potter's hand, so [are] ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.

Sunday, March 13, 2005


Yesssss I am craving chocolate and you can probably guess why.

Today was a sleep on the couch kind of day.  Josh opted to not work on his side job so he could snuggle on the couch and whip the kids into shape so they would clean their rooms.  Josh has been working nights a lot and his presence has been missed around here.  Especially by the kids who ofcourse take advantage of his nightly absence.  It worries him that he is not around and that it may be having adverse effects on our family life. But for now this is the only work available so we have to deal. He was supposed to work that side job today but I think the ppl will understand and Monday he will finish the job.

We decided to grill for dinner.  Josh had to go get coals from the store and Sophia inisted she come with.  She was very excited to have some daddy time and to get to be the only one to go to the store with him.  I only asked for ONE thing from the store, Tootsie Rolls!  Like I said I am craving chocolate in a big way.  They go and come back.  I look threw the bags.. no Tootsie Rolls. gurrrr

Josh has started some diet, witch he has made me swear not to talk about in my journal or with friends until he sees if it works.. opps guess I just did but I will keep the details to a minimum.  I think I have been very supportive even though I think he looks fine the way he is and he is being silly but I humor him here and there you know.  Let's just say if I had been in his situation and spent what he spent I would be the one on the grill instead of the steaks. Anyway, I only briefly speak of it now because of the comment he made today and why he did not get me my tootsie rolls.

And I quote, "I can no longer be a party to empty calories"

Yes I took off my house shoes and threw them his way.  He is worse than some one who quit smoking and thinks everyone else should. LOL  HELLO! I only go chocolate crazy but once a month!! And that is not the time to be telling me about empty calories or implying weight loss what so ever!!!!  And he wondered what was wrong later and why the stomping around and the mean glances his way.

Heaven help him the day he brings a scale into the house.

Not that I am opposed to being healthy or conscious of what we eat.  I am loving the salads and the juice and I am thrilled he has finally agreed to switch to skim milk.  Ihave been kinda sorta watching how and what I eat for a year now and have gone down two sizes.  I am not to the point where I want to know each day what I weigh.  As long as my clothes fit nice and I feel good I am happy. When ever I have been on my diet kicks do you think I was crewel and withheld his frosted, color sprinkled, sugar cookies he insisted I get him when he had a craving????? NOOOO!  I just didn't eat them.

I guess I can forgive him for not having my will power during his diet.  I eventually ran to the gas station and got a candy bar and ate it in the privacy of my room watching The Devils Advocate (good movie, especially if you want to understand how the devil operates).  I could of been a <insert bleep> and ate it in front of him making mmmm mmm noises.

Oh well, just a few days and then I will feel better and maybe we can get some exercise, if you know what I mean.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Saturday Six Time!

You know the drill. Pat asks six questions, we answer and give a link in his comment section.

1. Have you ever called 911 for an emergency? Yes a few times.  The last time was because of a car accedent in front of my house. We live off a busy street.
2. Do you spend more or save more? Save?? lol what is that. People do that really?? Must be nice.  We are lucky to have anything left over after paying the bills.  But that will change soon.
3. How many live plants do you have in your home now?  Do you give them enough attention? Nope.  Ussaly if I get a plant as a gift I plant it outside in the yard.  They are happier that way I think and are more likely to live.
4. What was the last thing you did to exercise?  How often do you exercise?  Sex with my husband is my main form of exercise. (blush)  How often?? None of your buissnes.  I do want to rejoin the YMCA and get back to water arobics.  I miss the steam room too! Great for the complextion.. they say sex is too.
5. Where do you compare with regard to your parents:  do you feel like an adult, or still like the "kid?"  If you feel like an adult, when did you first feel that way? Mostly an adult.  I first felt that when we moved out of state and away from my family. When you know you can make it on your own then you are really an adult I think.

6. Who is the last person you received a personal card or letter from that wasn't sent to mark a special occasion?   Snail mail??? What is that! LOL The last letter I recived was from my brother who is in prison. 

Intresting stuff from AIG.Org

Q: Do rabbits chew their cud?

A: For many years, scientists used the rabbit or “hare” to prove the Bible supposedly wrong because in Leviticus 11:6 we read, “And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.” They claimed that the rabbit didn’t chew its cud or have the same stomach system as other cud chewers like cows, and therefore the Bible was wrong.

Then about 20 years ago, it was discovered that rabbits do indeed—in a sense—chew their cud. When a rabbit first eats something, the food passes through its digestive system rapidly, undergoing very little digestion. These are the green pellets one finds when raising rabbits! The rabbit will then eat these green pellets, which are actually their cud, and finish chewing and digesting them. They then pass on out as brown waste pellets. So rabbits really do chew their cud. (For a more thorough answer, see Do rabbits chew their cud? by Dr. Jonathan Sarfati.)

This is just one of many examples of how the Bible has been proven to be right and so-called science wrong. We must remember to start all of our learning and understanding of science with the Bible, and of course, the foundational book of Genesis.



Monkey Science

Friday, March 11, 2005


Yesterday I got Lilly all registered for kindergarten.  I felt so prepared and had all the proper forms and id and bills with me.  Was in and out of there quickly.  Lilly is so excited!  When she went to get her shots the other day she did not cry at all because she knew she had to get them so she could register for school.  Sophia cried more because she wanted to hold her sister's hand but I wouldn't let her because I had to hold Lilly still.  Lilly got a welcome bag from school full of crayons that are all ready all over the house, ABC flash cards and magnets and all sorts of other goodies.

I don't know what Sophia is going to do next year when Lilly is gone for school. With them being so close in age they are more best friends than sisters, inseparable. I want to put her in preschool but we will see.  This summer we are going to work on teaching the girls to tie shoes and write their names better.  Lilly can already write her name and she is always proud to put the B after it lol.

Other than that yesterday was a mellow day.  I am excited that some one asked me if their daughter could use my testimony about my abortion for her school report.  What a blessing and an honor.. really.  I look forward to reading the report or if she can swing it seeing the video.  I will keep you updated on that.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Encouraging song lyrics.. what I sing to myself when feeling discouraged.

Trading My Sorrows

I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning


He will come and Save You

Say to those who are fearful hearted, "do not be afraid,

the Lord your God is strong, with His mighty arm,

when you call on His name."
  He will come and save

He will come and save you, He will come and save you
Say to the weary one, "your God will surely come"
He will come and save   you

He will come and save you, He will come and save you
Lift up your eyes to Him, you will arise again,
He will come and save   you

Say to those who are broken hearted, "
do not lose your faith, the Lord your God is strong, with His loving arms,
when you call on His name."
  He will come and save

He is our refuge in the day of trouble,
He is our shelter in the time of storm,
He is our tower in the day of sorrow,                   
our fortress in the time of war

Harsh yes but a good kick in the butt I think is sometimes called for.

I won't go into all the details but know this, I tried to be as loving and understanding as the situation called for.  This person was inconsolable and just giving up on life.  When some ones says don't bother praying for me or pray for me to die soon because life is just too hard or God has turned a death ear to my prayers and has forsaken me and I give up on him,it kind of hits me in the pit of my stomach.  What does it take for some one to walk away from God? How can someone who claims to know the Lord and all his promises and has served him for years choose to walk away and prefer to wallow in self and prefers to be miserable?  Just because he hasn't answered just the way and when we wanted does not mean he has ceased to care or love you.  I understand there are situations that happen in our lives it may seem hopeless but isn't the whole message that God gives us is about HOPE and Love and Peace? To not look at things with the natural eyes but the spiritual, to TRUST him with all things even when our feelings are telling us otherwise?  Faith is NOT about feelings.  Our feelings change day to day but God, he never does.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Oh well, I did what I felt called to do and I only feel worth posting my last reply to this person as more of a reminder to myself.  If I ever get to this point please tell me the same and kick me in the butt or give me a good smack..........

You know you are sounding like my 3yrd child throwing a temper tantrum because she didn't get what she wanted just when and the way she wanted it.  "Mom I hate you, I don't love you no more, you don't love me or else you would do things my way"  Does this have any effect on me getting her what she wanted any faster? No.  Does she mean what she said, No.  Do I still love her and provide for her needs, yes.  And the same is true with God and you.  I would think some one who has been a Christian as long as you have said would be a bit more mature in their faith.  Grow up, stop whinny because life is not as you expected it to be and trust Daddy to take care of you.  NO one said it was going to be easy and everything go just as YOU want it to.  It is not all about you, it is His plan for your life, he knows what he is doing. You say you just want to curl up and die, how selfish is that? What about your son? Think it will be any easier forhim with you gone?  You know that is not true.  It would break his heart and he needs his mother around for a long time.  I understand things are hard but you are not alone and he has not abandoned you. He has heard your prayers but just because he has not answered them just how you wanted or in a timely manor does not mean he does not care.  His timing is perfect.  Go ahead and wallow in self and choose to be miserable.  Because it is a choice.. attitude is a choice just like walking in the Spirit or the Flesh is a choice. Just like choosing to listen to God or Satan is a choice.  


 Please keep this person in prayer.  God knows who it is and all the details and what the needs are.

Tuesday, March 8, 2005

Don't let that crown go to your head my dear.

Lilly ruled the day in her birthday crown.  Her first comment was, "You know mom, queens make decisions".  She wanted to decided everyyy thing.. what shows we would watch, what we ate, basically control freak lol.  I played along for awhile, after all it was my idea to let her be Queen Bea for the day.  She quickly appointed Sophia the princess and bossed her around all day.  But when she demanded that I bow before her that was the last straw.  I told her "For one Lilly, I only bow before one person and that is Jesus and secondly little girl, you are only queen by title, you have no power or authority" LOL I hated to have to burst her little bubble and she is disappointed that her rule only was for one day.  But aww she is pretty darn cute!


IE 6.0 - AOL | Member Directory

THEY HAVE CHANGED HOW YOU VIEW PROFILES! You may want to adjust your AOL Profile or take a look at it. I had to re-do all my links and such.

Just some things I am meditating on from my daily reading

 March 8, 2005 Read The Bible in a Year Plan from For some reason I am sad for Moses, that he died before the children of Israel entered the promise land.  I know it says it was because of his disobedience to God, when he struck a stone and made water come.  There is a lesson some where in this I know.  Even the great servant of God's is not above his rebuke.  And I know he has an even better reward with him now that he is with God in heaven.  A few new things I didnt know before was that Moses was 120 when he died and the Bible said his eyesight was still good and " nor his natural force abated", I take that to mean he still had a sound mind?  He was mourned for for 30 days. No other phrophet knew the Lord face to face.   Also I think about how he was on that mountain with Jesus, the Transfiguration.(Mt 17:1-8; Mr 9:2-8; Lu 9:28-36) and something about the two witnesses/prophets described in Rev 11.    Just thought it was intresting and wanted to mark it down for later.


Here is LillyBea 5 years ago today!  I can not believe she is already 5!! Tomorrow we go for her physical so she can enroll for kindergarden.  She is so excited.

I told her today I am going to make her a crown and she gets to be Queen Bea for the day.  She loves that idea.  Yes she is my namesake and the middle child.  I thought she was going to be my last baby and I knew no one else in my family would pass on the Bea name tradition.  Josh won't admit it but I know LillyBea is his faviorate. LOL Shhh.. I know they all are loved the same but it seems like Lilly is always going threw the "cute phase"  We try and not let it show that we think Lilly is the bee's knees lol.

Thought for Today

Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Mother Teresa, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein.

The Laugh


Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?

If you're less than ten years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half." You're never 36 and a're four and a half going on 5.

You get into your teens; now they can't hold you back. You jump into the next number. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16."

Then the great day of your life; you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. You BECOME 21...Yes!!!

Then you turn 30. What happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. HE TURNED; we had to throw him out. What's wrong? What changed? You BECOME 21; you TURN 30.

Then you're PUSHING 40....stay over there. You REACH 50.

So you BECOME 21; you TURN 30; you're PUSHING 40; you REACH 50; then you MAKE IT to 60.

By then you've built up so much speed, you HIT 70. After that, it's a day by day thing. You HIT Wednesday...

You get into you're 80's; you HIT lunch, you HIT 4:30. My grandmother won't even buy green bananas. "Well, it's an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one."

And it doesn't end there...

Into the 90's, you start going backwards. "I was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens; if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half."

And remember - growing old is only mind over matter: ifyou don't mind, it don't matter...

Monday, March 7, 2005

Tell her Mary sent you : )


 Laura is a new comer to J~Land. Her blog is two months old. Her only wish for her birthday tomorrow is to have her counter up to 2000. Currently it is at 1894. Let's show her how J~Land does it!! Go full out.. cards, comments and HITS!

Sunday, March 6, 2005

That's the way the Fortune Cookie crumbles...IN BED

All this talk about Chines food this weekend made me crave it madly, deeply.  I was jipt on the fortune cookies.. only got 3 of them for my $30 or so in food that I ordered.  So I let the girls have them but I kept the fortunes.  I thought about Kara's entry about what her's said.. and the tradition of adding to the end of it the phrase IN BED.  So this is what mine said (and yes they count because I had a bite off each cookie lol) :

Your Character can be described as natural and unrestrained


You are given the chance to take part in an exciting adventure


You should have a talk with your friend today



Counting the minuets till Josh gets home to share with him these fortunes.....IN BED 

Saturday, March 5, 2005

Don't let those innocent smiles fool ya.. It is going to be a long time before we do that again!

Picture from one of those photo boths at the mall

What was I thinking?! Sure it seemed like a good idea, a day at the big Saint Louis Mills Mall to celebrate Annie & Lilly's Birthdays.  4 girls + One MOM= tiered and broke!

Josh is out of town with Zane so it is just me and the girls this weekend.  I promised Annie that she could take a friend with us to the Mills Mall so we could play a round of miniature golf and some window shopping.  Annie and her friend were fine for the most part, it is my other two that I should spank for being so naughty... Especially Sophia!  It is like she has reverted back to the terrible 2's lately!  And Lilly has got this crying and whinny at the drop of a hat down to a science.  I wish I could of enjoyed the round of glow in the dark min golf but I spent more time chasing after Sophia then actually putting. Ohh and she is a thief!!!  We went into a toy store and she had my hand the whole time but I was distracted by trying to keep an eye on Lilly and Annie that I didn't notice Sophia had picked up a toy as we walked out of the store.  We were half way down the mall before Annie noticed that Sophia had a toy in her had.  Embarrassing.. I marched her right back to that store and returned it.  At least they all ate their lunch and was happy about picking out one thing from the dollar store.  Sophia must of been missing her nap time and insisted on the pillow you see her holding in the pic.  Lilly got a stuffed Bee (that I may steal from her if she doesn't stop fighting over it with her sister) Annie got a Barbie Photo Album.. ofcourse now she wants pictures to fill it up lol.  We stopped in at the Bible Outlet store to look for a Bible cover for Annie's but again.. I spent more time chasing Sophia around the store and finally gave up and opted for a Carsoul Ride at the food court.  Ohhhhhh and I did finally find a store that carried the charms for my bracelet.  I was overwhelmed by all the choices and also trying to keep one eye on my brat child.  I finally just got the letters for my middle name.. BEA.  I will have to go back when I have more money.

Normally my children are well behavedand KNOW how to act but it is like today they went buck wild!  Tomorrow better be a better day and if they act like this at church.. well they will be praying for salvation from my hand on their bottoms.

I am exhausted and a bit lonely with out Josh. Going to try and catch up on some reading and then off to an empty bed.


Saturday Six time.. my second try.. Don't you hate it when that happens!

You know the drill.. Pat asks six questions, you answer and leave a link in his comment section.  Last week, some how, some way, I won the honor of being first to answer!

<---- Doing a Happy Dance

1. What is your favorite color for an automobile?  Is your car this color? I am not a car chick and really could care less but when I do let my self fanaticize about the BMW convertible I want it is always jet black or the brand new just off the line Dodge Min Van is always bright red. My current van is this sad looking faded grey/blue color but I am just happy to have a running car.

2. You decide to start a diet on Monday.  What is the "bad food" meal that you must have "one last time" over the weekend? Crab Rangoon.. mmmmmm the really creamy gooey kind!

3. How do you balance your checkbook?  In your head, with a calculator, or with software? LMBO HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT IS FUNNY. Um.. I look at our statement online and then guesstimate and hope for the best.  Ya that is bad I know.  I rarely write checks anymore, we mainly use our visa check card.  A bad habit, cash is always best.

4. How many of the Oscar
winner movies did you see before the awards this year? Nada.  I couldn't even tell you who won this year.
5. In what room of the house do you find yourself the most comfortable and why? Right here at my computer desk, in the kitchen.  But I have a good view of the living room and the TV and I know where my children are at all times because I am a mom with eyes in the back of my head and have superhuman hearing. LOL  But I did just read some good advice from Mr. King in his book On Writing. He suggest a desk should always  be in the corner of the room and not the middle, because "Life isn't a support system for art. It's the other way around"

Scott:  What is the "one thing" that the mere mention of sends shivers down your spine?  See previous entry.  Anything to do with The End Times and the Return of Jesus Christ.  How awesome it is to be living in these times and as other's hearts wax cold mine only starts to burn hotter.  All I have to do is turn on the nightly news and see Prophecy being fulfilled before my eyes.  If you would like to know more just read all of Mathew Chapter 24 &25 to see what Christ said about the End Times and his return and if you are brave and wise read Revelations:

 Revelation 1:3 Blessed [is] he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time [is] at hand.

Friday, March 4, 2005

Something I HAD to write today.

Going threw my alerts I was quick to click on one of my fav. blogs.  She is soooooo funny and I laugh so hard when reading her journal.  But sadly the new entry she posted wasn't going to be one of those cleaver stories from her family or work life. Jamie of ChaseNKids just suffered a very big loss.  He best friend was murdered! Even threw her grief she articulates so well, I was crying with her.  Please keep her and her friend's family in prayer.  This is so horrible.

When people suffer like she is it is always hard to put into words anything that would comfort them.  I think all I can do is mourn with her and pray for her.  I don't know what her faith is, I have read some mention of Jehovah Witness and I am not sure what her friend was or not.  For some this is not an important question and almost rude to discuss.  I think when dealing with issues of death and dying and where we will end up in Eternity it is a very important question.

Yes this is going to be a post that touches on faith and on heaven and hell.  Don't roll your eyes at me..don't go hitting that red X button just yet.

This is where I am going to plead with you to not put off the most important decision you will ever make in your life time. BECAUSE WE ARE NOT PROMISED TOMORROW! You do not know if you will wake up tomorrow and have another chance to make this choice.

Choose NOW, right now, don't put this off.  Receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior or Reject him.  The Bible says ONLY those who call upon his name, who KNOW him, who live for him now, will enter Heaven.  It is not enough to be a good person and do good deeds.  Many good people go to HELL simply because they choose to reject Jesus Christ.  If works was enough to enter Heaven, and living and following the Law to the letter Jesus's sacrifice on the Cross would not of been necessary. But because WE ALL fall short of the Glory of God and we all sin, we all need a sacrifice and Jesus fulfilled that.  You can not add to or take away from the message of the cross, he said IT IS FINISHED.

Again I am begging you, choose today Jesus.  Even if you don't die tomorrow you will have a life changed and blessed. I am not a nut case but I do live and breath for him. I am just warning you.  The day is coming when Jesus will return and take all those who are filled with the Holy Spirit away from this world, the rapture is what it is called in Christian language. When that happens there is no second chances, your fate is sealed and God's wrath will be poured out on this earth and you will be here for it if you do not choose Christ.  Revelations says NO ONE Repents at the time of the wrath on the Earth.  I encourage you to read the Gospel of John and find out for yourself what the Bible says about Jesus, don't just take my words for it.

He is knocking at your door right now, will you open it?

If you said yes then just pray the following or what ever comes from your heart..

Lord I admit I am a sinner and need to be saved from Hell because of my sins.  I believe sincerely that Jesus came to earth and lived a perfect life, that he died on the cross for my sins and that on the third day he rose from grave.  I ask for forgiveness for all my sins and that Jesus would come into my heart, and my life.  Seal me with your Holy Spirit and lead me and guide me all the days of my life.  IN JESUS NAME I PRAY. AMEN.

If you just prayed that simple prayer I welcome you into the family of God, you are now my brother or sister.  Please e-mail me if you did! 

If you did not pray that prayer,  you have chosen to reject Jesus Christ, and what ever may come when you die, don't say you were never warned. I pray that God would use the seeds planted here into your life and maybe before it is too late you will come to him.

click here to read how I feel about the Lover Of My Soul and here for my own personal testimony and how I came to Christ.

This is not normally what some would call a religious blog, just me living my life and putting it all in words but part of my life is my faith and devotion to God.  You do not have to agree with me or take my word for it.. like I said, read the Bible for yourself and choose.









No one is going to hire us any time soon  as cake decoraters.. but it sure is yummmmy! And that is all that counts, right?!

Silent No More Awarnes March 05 E-Letter, a lot of info in this letter, check it out.

March 4, 2005

Dear Silent No More Awareness Friends,

Having just viewed DVD’s from three of the Gatherings that happened in January, we write to you
with grateful hearts for all of you who are silent no more! Your testimonies are powerful and filled
with God’s love and grace. We’ve also been getting emails from many (as far as Australia) who
heard our message and are now looking to connect with abortion recovery help. When the truth is
spoken, God uses it to minister to the broken hearted.

Here’s a snapshot of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign activity for January 2005.

-We had a total of 166 people share their testimony, including 6 men. There were 21
Gatherings in 17 states with approximately 2800 people stopping to listen to our stories.

-The Campaign aired our commercials in Madison, WI, Phoenix, AZ, Minneapolis, MN,
Pittsburgh, PA and now the commercial is showing in a movie theater in Iowa City, IA. We
also placed print ads in the Weekly Standard, the Washington Times and the Washington
Times weekly edition in January.

-37 articles about the Campaign were in newspapers such as the San Francisco Chronicle,
The Epoch Times, Seattle Times, National Catholic Register, AP News, The Daytona Beach
News Journal, American Prospect Magazine, Richmond Times Dispatch, Talon News,
Catholic World News, and and approximately 41 radio and
television interviews were done by Jennifer O’Neill, Dr. Alveda King, Janet Morana and
Georgette on shows such as Radio America, Cornerstone Television, Bloomberg Radio, the
Laura Ingram Show, BET, O’Reilly Factor, ABC-TV, C-Span, Hannity & Colmes, and EWTN.

-NOEL (one of the Campaign sponsors) has excerpts from Emily’s Blog, which provided a
description of our presence at the March for Life in Washington, DC - on the website, you
can read it at: - most recent newsletter.

-Finally, a contract to have Campaign billboards throughout Los Angeles during the entire year
was signed.

The Campaign is growing at a rapid rate and we had over 150 people register to be silent no
more at our website in January.  Welcome to you all! To help in managing our growth while
being consistent in ministry we are developing Regional Coordinators (RC’s) throughout the
country. We will list each RC on our website with their local contact information. RC’s will
organize Gatherings in January and September, plus network locally. We believe the more
people can connect at the local level, the more personalized our connections will be. If you’re
interested in becoming an RC, please email Georgette at

To help the RC’s network in their area we would like to share your name, email and phone
number with them only. The RC’s will maintain your privacy but we want them to be able to
connect directly with you. If you do NOT want us to share your personal contact information with
them, please send Sheila an email at , noting that you do NOT want
your info shared; she will add that info to our database records.

We would like to begin posting all the places where you will be silent no more! So if you will be
sharing your testimony - please send us the information and we’ll post it on our website event list.
Please send basic information such as date, time, location, local contact info and your name to:

In addition to posting your silent no more activities, we’d like to invite you to submit your
testimony so we can post it on our website. The testimony should be no more than a page and a
half long and should include a title and your signature name. It should include the same basics as
your testimony and we’ve included that info at the end of this letter! Please submit the testimonies
to . We will edit for grammar and length!

A unique opportunity to be silent no more and raise money to air the commercials is now
available - Julie Shockley and her husband were looking to be silent no more and came up with a
creative way using Ebay! Now they want to share the idea with you - so you can do the same.
Please visit our website, and go to "What You Can Do to be
Silent No More" - Julie’s story can be clicked on - on the right.

Here are three additional opportunities to be silent no more!

-The Pro-Life Legal Defense Fund based in Boston, Massachusetts is looking for women to
help in a Supreme Court brief that several of their members are working on. They need:

1. Women who were headed into an abortion clinic when they received pro-life
information that changed their mind, or
2. Women who had an abortion because they didn't receive such information.

If you have had either experience, you can make a statement against the "buffer zone"
around clinics which prevents women from receiving the facts they need. If you are interested
or would like more information, please contact Colbe at , or call after 4 at
617-569-4570. The brief must be filed by March 8.

-Kelly Aquilon from British Columbia, Canada is compiling a book that features letters to our
children. If you’d like to submit a letter, please contact her at or 250-

-Madeline Nugent from Providence, RI., is updating a book she wrote in 1991, entitled "Having
You’re Baby When Others Say No" and she needs stories from those who dealt with adverse
diagnosis that prompted doctors to encourage termination of the pregnancy. If you are
interested in submitting your story, call or email: 401-849-5421,

We are so excited about the growth and development of the Campaign to raise awareness about
abortion’s adverse affects on women, men, children and society. It is an honor to work with you
all on this effort and as our new RC for Montana, Susan Gliko said in an email...Silent No More
Awareness gives voice to the truth of abortion -- in hopes of making abortion better than just
illegal -- making abortion unthinkable.

Continue to be bold, courageous and silent no more!

Georgette Forney
Silent No More Awareness Campaign
President, NOEL
(800) 707-6635

Janet Morana
Silent No More Awareness Campaign
Associate Director, Priests for Life
(888) PFL-3448

Here are some basic tips for writing your testimony

-Start with a longer version and ‘boil it down’ to a page version.
-Be sure each version contains these keys components:

1. Why you chose abortion (who was involved)

2. What the actual experience of abortion and the clinic were like (Comfortable?
Humiliated? Informed?)

3. Its affects on you immediately as well as long-term (Relief? Promiscuity? Alcohol or drug
abuse? Nightmares? Suicide attempts? Relationship troubles?)

4. Your healing and forgiveness experience.

-Use short, impact statements. They are memorable.
-Have a friend who can pray for you while you prepare it.
-Read your statement out loud several times; then read it to a friend.

-Make sure the following questions are answered in your testimony:

a) I am speaking to you today because...
b) I decided to get an abortion because...
c) I was told (fill in the blank) at the clinic but what I realize now is...
o The most important thing about abortion that I think people/women need to know


This was my oldest daughter, AnnMarie, 8 yrs ago today!


I will have to sneak a picture of her when she gets home to show how big she has gotten!  She is not my baby anymore *tears*

AnnMarie is my second born, the one I thought I could not possible love as much as my first born.  What a silly thing to think, but I was only 20 and had all this love for my son who was a blooming toddler.  She has taught me that a mother's heart grows with each child and there is always room for more!

When Annie was born I wanted to watch her come into this world, I had a mirror so I could see it all. ( Some think eww gross but na it's not) Annie did not want to drop and come into the right position, yet I was dilated and ready to go.  They broke my water and discovered mixed in the fluid that she had already pooped.  Not a good thing.  She had doctors just for her standing by to vacuum out her little lungs once she came.  I was so mad that one of the nurses kicked the mirror and I couldn't see.  I was told later, after we were already home, the cord was wrapped around her neck and they didn't want me to panic.  If you think about it, modern medicine is a marvel, think if she had been born at a different time in History, she had two medical strikes against her.

Annie is the biggest baby I have had weight wise.  She almost weighed 10 pounds.  Zane was just 8 and Lilly and Sophia my small ones, around 7.5 pounds.  Annie has always been big for her age in height and weight but the doctor says she is very well proportioned and is not obese in any way.  Some of the girls in her class are tiny compared to her and people often think she is 10 or 11 instead of just going on 8. (I hope this trend doesn't continue into her teens for obvious reasons lol) 

We named her AnnMarie because we wanted an A name since our son had a Z name and Marie is a popular middle name on my side of the family. But her name is one big first name, AnnMarie, she doesn't have a middle name. We have also found out that Ann is a name that is on Josh's family tree going way back.  So she has a very traditional name.  That is something we wanted because Zane, her big brother's name is very untraditional.

Josh nick named her little gremlin because of the sour look she had on her face and how she would seem to be so grumpy. Well, if your first few minuets into this world were like hers, a cord wrapped around your neck and then a tub stuck down your throw to vacuum your lungs, you would be a bit upset too.  I called her my little girly girl and told her to pay no attention to her silly daddy.  Zane loved her right away and became a good big brother, always wanting to protect her.  I don't have any horror stories to tell of him trying to get attention because he was jealous of the new baby.  If he would of had his way the new baby would of slept with him lol.  Wish it was still that way!  Now they have that sibling rivalry thing going, they pretend they can't stand each other, but really they are closer than they let on.

Today Annie is a soft spoken girl who loves Barbie and playing house and she also is starting to love to read and write in her journal. She loves Jesus and reads to me from her Bible before bed.  When asked what she wanted for her birthday she said, Chapter books, a bible cover, and dresses.

 I was just up at school to deliver cup cakes (store bought ofcourse, that is a post in of it's self gurr) for her class and had a nice chat with her teacher.  I was wondering how she was doing since she had missed so much school lately due to the lice and if she was falling behind.  Her teacher insisted that she was doing very well, especially in math (a surprise to me) and that she could stand to practice her reading more but she is doing well.  She is a good speaker and thinks before she speaks.  To quote the teacher she said you can tell Annie has a lot going on in her head before she talks and she is just trying to articulate it. (like me lol)  I asked how she was doing socially, if she was being teased at all.  The teacher said that no one was and that every one is very understanding that sometimes, lice just happens, it isn't anyone's fault.  She said she wouldn't say she is the most popular but that she does have a lot of friends.  The only issue she had with her was that one time she squeezed a whole bottle of glue on to a boys chair. The teacher has no clue what possessed her to do such a thing, Annie is the last person she expected to do something like that.  I was shocked too, it was the first I was hearing of it. LOL

Lilly and Sophia are busy making cards for their Big Sister and I am thinking of making a cake.  Lilly insists it should be a pink one with Barbie on it.  We have not planned a party or anything.  Josh and Zane are thinking of going out of town this weekend to go see his mom.  This weekend is the one year anniversary of Granny's death and Josh is thinking he is going to go see his mom to cheer her up.  I was planning on taking the girls out to the mall and go to a movie and maybe a game of maitre golf.  Apparently Annie is excited about that since she already told her teacher that was what we planned on doing.


Why do our babies have to grow up so fast?!

Wednesday, March 2, 2005

"I Want To Live" - The Right Brothers OMG... THIS MADE ME CRY!! THANK YOU LORI FOR SENDING IT.

Tuesday, March 1, 2005

Showercap mayo girls.

Doing By The Way's Tuesday Phone Call challange.

Enjoy the chat with me and Annie.


tag from Anna's Anomalies

It isn't even noon and I am ready to hit the hay.. go and hide from the world for a few warm fuzzy moments in my bed.  But nope.. that isn't going to fly around here, least I want the kids to trash my nicely cleaned house. And I even went to bed at a decent hour last night!! I think I was just asking for bad dreams with my last entry.. I had a doosey of one of guys trying to break in to our house and get me and me running from door to door trying to lock them before bad guys could get in.

And it has just been a hectic morning!

I feel like some one has put a curse on my house!! GURRR I have pest from every witch way, and I am not speaking of my kids!  I have been on the phone and talking to people more than I care to.  I don't like doing business stuff or even talking to doctor offices.  Yesterday Josh had a company out here to give us an estimate to get rid of once and for all these bugs. OUCH! $588 for a year's service.  Yeah, screw that, I am calling the Land Lord.  The critters were here when we moved in, to be fair.  I was told the house had just been sprayed when I saw a dead one in a drawer.  And because I am the procrastinator that I am I never told the office that they had come back and had been treating the problem myself with spray and such.  Well they have gotten so bad and it is just nasty.  The pest control guy said that it is not because of being unclean or anything, they are the kind that are resistant to spray and need the bait.  They can come from anywhere, the store, dropping an egg in boxes there or the paper bags and there can be 50 babies to one egg! (ewwwwwww)  He suggested treating every room with the bait and the outside around the house and then come back for a follow up in two weeks and then every other month after that.

I called the lady who handles all our concerns, the in between person and told her about the problem and the estimate.  She said they had some one they use to spray the houses and would call them and have them set up an appointment with me.  I told her what the pest guy said and gave her his number, that it was a matter of more than just spraying. So ofcourse she has to talk to the Land Lord and I should hear back by tomorrow.

Before all those pleasantries on the phone with the office lady for the Land Lord I got a call from the nurse at school.  Yeah, you guessed it.......................

 lice AGAIN!!!!!!!!  I don't get it... I do everything, I mean EVERYTHIG you are supposed to do treat them and get rid of them.  The girls Just got their toys back from the last time.  So I had to get Annie from school and have a conversation with the nurse and the office people.  I had to go up there anyway because I forgot to send a check with Zane today for 5th grade camp.  Then since I was there I got a packet for Lilly and all the info needed for kindergarten registration.  Registration is on the 15th.

I called our pediatrician's office asking about prescription shampoo for lice and she said really it is the same as OTC stuff and I am better off doing the mayo treatment.  Since I had them on the line I made an appointment for Lilly's check up and shots so she can get into school.  I can NOT find any of the kids shot records for somereason.  I know I put them some where to keep them up.. but dang it I put them away so well that I cant find them.  This is a new office, since we had moved and I didn't want to drive 45 min. to see thier old one.  I had to go threw all the hassel of calling the old office to get records sent and faxed over to the new one.  The new office said I had to requested it and likely in writting because of some law. @@  The old office didn't seem too concerned and didn't ask to send me a form to fill out like I expected, only the new office's fax number.  I am sure I will get a call this week saying I will have to send something to them after all.

Aww March 18th can't come soon enough!  That is the weekend I am taking with some women from church to go on Ladies Retreat.  I am sooooo looking forward to it!

Well I better go.. I have beds to strip, jackets to wash, heads to lather up in mayo.  So much for me getting some writing done today.