Monday, October 31, 2005

Too much to do.. Putting off NaNoWriMo

I think I am going to back out of NaNoWriMO this year.  Is it out of fear that I can not do it.. no not really.. I know I can.. I have before.  Maybe it is I just don't want to churn out crap and want to be better prepared for next year instead? Yaaa that's it.. my time is precious, why spend a month writing a novel that is only going to sit in my unread computer files when I could focus that time and energy for that month on better things.. like getting deep into the Word and setting my house in order. Ya, that is what I am going to be telling myself and next year I am going to be so prepared for NaNoWriMo and write that Best Seller that will sweep the country and the world and launch my writing career.  LOL

Something is coming, I can feel it.  I feel like God has me in this place of preparing for it.  I don't know what it is, but it is something big.  Ever feel that way?  Like you are waiting to turn a corner and when you get there, a big surprise for you is going to jump at you? I wouldn't call it an uneasy feeling but more of an electric one. As I was driving to church this morning it was like God had put that on me.  Telling me to get ready.. get into the Word.

Maybe partly that feeling comes on because I have been considering changing churches (maybe) to one that is in town.  Now if you are already planted in a good church home you know that is a BIG change and not something some one should do lightly.  I am very comfortable in my current church home.. in my flesh I say "But I don't wanttta move churches.. I have a solid foundation at this one, good fellowship and friends and teaching.. I have my place there".  But I know God has brought me out here for a purpose and a plan and he has already put a few people that I have met on my heart.  My church is a 30 min. (at least) drive from where I live now.  Trying to encourage others that I meet to visit my church is somewhat hard.  The distance and drive time is a big obstacle for some people and my van barely fits my family much less another one.  There is a new church that has just opened close to my house that I visited their "meet and greet" party a few weeks back.  I have already recommended it to a few people but for some they need that push of encouragement to go if you go with them.. after all if you have been out of church your whole life who wants to just walk blindly into one with out knowing anyone there.  I know that was partly the case with me.  The thought is somewhat exciting to me also. A place where I can help disciple others, be apart of a growing family and what God is doing in this small growing town that I have moved to.. be effective in my little world, my community. Not that I don't have opportunities to serve in my current church.. Lord knows, but because of how far we live it has become something of a deterrent.  I had never considered it to be a problem before we moved but now that we are on the other side, I am kinda kicking myself for not thinking about how that would effect us.  I can not say for sure if we are going to move churches.. it is all in prayer and I will know when God tells me it is time.

One thing that did give me mixed feelings about the thought of moving home churches was yesterday we had a simple ceremony welcoming in 5 new members who have decided to join our church.  When you join a church you dedicate yourself to it and come under that leadership and their teacing.. it is very important.  There is too much cafeteria style Christianity where people go to this or that church for this kind of ministry and then to another.. like a buffet style.. when really that is not how it supposed to be.  You need to be planted somewhere so that you do have that accountability in your life.  So when these new members got up and said they wanted to do that my heart leapt.. and I thought.. see, I have dedicated myself to this church, this is where God wants me to be, why was I even entertaining the thought of leaving. 

But after church one of the ladies who sings (looks more like dancing to me) with Sign Language on the Worship team offered to start sign classes to anyone who wanted to learn.  I was very interested and ofcourse my 8 yrd daughter Annie chimed in right away that she wanted to learn too. I signed up for the 12 week classes as a family.  They start next Sunday.  What gets me about that is, the church I visited in town has deaf people as members and people were signing all over the place at the meet and greet and I had wished I could too so I could talk with the ones who were deaf and not need an interpreter.  So when the classes came up I thought.. ohhh isn't that perfect.. if we do switch I will know sign language to communicate with those members.  See how I go back and forth here??? LOL   I have many thoughts about this topic but I will save it.  Believe me when I say I would not move home churches with out much prayer and talking to others first about it and hearing from God.

THREE MORE DAYS and Josh is going to be home!!!!!!!!  That is another reason I am thinking of putting off NaNoWriMO.  I want to get this place in shape before Josh gets home.  I am soooo close to finishing the downstairs bathroom.  I just need to paint one more coat on a wall and then paint the ceiling.  Oh just wait till you see the pictures!  LOL Plus there is this thing with picture frames and ribbon to put in that bathroom I want to get done also before he gets home.  On top of that add the normal deep house cleaning I like to get done and the bills I have to pay.  He gets home Wed.  We are meeting at the hotel the Union is having the graduation party at.  I reserved us a room and have a babysitter all set.  I hope he knows he is NOT going to be sleeping Wednesday night LMBO! I would go and buy a special nighty for our overnight stay but really people what would be the point if you now what I mean. Thursday we plan on keeping the kids home so they can spend time with Daddy.  And Thursday night I invited two of our neighbors over for a chilly dinner.  I have been wanting to invite people over for a simple dinner for awhile now but not with out Josh here.  I told them if you want to see my husband.. really I DOOOOO have one, Thursday will be the best time.  So add shopping and cooking to my list of things to get done.  Josh then is going to leave Friday morning.  When he will come back who knows.  Maybe for Thanksgiving and then over Christmas we will go up there.

So as you can see I better get off my duff and get moving.  I don't expect to post much this week or get much reading done either (sureee I say that now.. we will see).  But come Friday night I will make the rounds and get all caught up!

Saturday, October 29, 2005

An up and coming Journal that you must get on to your Alerts!

Tales From The Front And The One's Left Behind is Chad & Christy's couple blog about life in the military.  It is  about both's viewpoint of the brave one going off to war and how the front REALLY IS Over There and the one who keeps the home fires burning till her beloved returns.  

Chad is about to be deployed to Iraq and what does Christy do?? LOL Start a blog about it so they can share with us all what they are going threw. 

This is a MUST for your alerts and RSS Feed PEOPLE!   Also don't forget to visit Christy's regular blog, Christy's Thoughts.

#197 Renewal of a friendship.. I cheated and reposted for this one   # 197 Describe 30 minutes in the renewal of a friendship  

I had started writing for this prompt and then it struck me.. I have a perfect past post that states clearly what I wanted to write.  It took me a good hour to hunt it down and I relived a lot of old postings to get to it. (Ever do any back reading in the archives? There is some good stuff in there)  

Rereading this old entry still brings tears to my eyes and I am grateful beyond the words for the Friendship that was renewed that day.  

Written originally . Sep. 5th 2004  

Mary… come walk with me, come and talk with me today”



“Yes Lord, but I am afraid to.. afraid of what you will say to me”



“Come.. my burden is light, you are carrying a heavy one, let ME love you”



“Lord, I know you love me, I love you too. But I feel like I am failing and slipping away from your embrace.  How can I stand in your presence?  How can I talk with you knowing all I know about myself, for you have surely showed me my heart and all the sin that is still there? I have been flirting with the path of un-righteousness.”



“Mary… I know your heart and I know I am in there.  Do not forget me, your first Love.  Let me hold you and heal you of these hurts.  Take my forgiveness, I already gave it to you, remember all I have done for you.”



“Satan laid a big trap for me this time didn't he? And I walked right into it with my eyes open.  He knows where I am my weakest and when I am feeling my lowest.  I know all sin is conceived in the mind and thoughts can be held accountable as the same as deeds.”



Daughter… I love you and with out me you will fail.  You stopped focusing on Me.  I had to do something to bring it back.  Do not be so quick to blame Satan for everything.  It was I who allowed all that to happen, to show you your heart and to bring you into a new understanding of Grace and Mercy.  All though you tried to muffle my voice, you know I was there the whole time with you”



“Yes.. I remember hearing your spirit calling out to me.. I remember you trying to warn me, telling me to remember.. and I ignored you.  It felt so good to listen to Satan’s lies, even thought I knew they was lies, I wanted to be selfish for awhile.  He whispered to me it was ok to be selfish for awhile and I wanted to listen.  I wanted to be my old me, be back to a time when I only lived for me and hand no one else to worry about.  But when I did that, as good as it felt, I got angry.  I started to get angry with the life I was given, that I was not more, my flesh side cried out to be more then you had purposed for me.  I became unsatisfied with my life and longing for more in this World.. But there was no PEACE there, and I knew that and that fed into my anger.  I have been walking in your Peace Lord for so long, I forgot what it was like not to have it, and now I remember how horrible life is with out it.”



“I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you.  I have given you life abundant.  Come back now to that Perfect Peace only I can give you.  I have such a wonderful plan for your life Mary.. Already you have touched so many for the kingdom and have a great reward stored up for you.  You may not see or know all you have done while you was faithful, but I do.  Wait for your reward and forsake the charms of this World.  You are who I want you to be, you are right where I want you to be.  Your whole life I have been guiding you, you know that by now.  I know your heart’s desire and I see your hurts and disappointments.  There is not one thought you have had or dream that I have not seen and some that I have put there myself.  Be patient.  Hold steadfast.  I have more in store for you, and I will not let you fall away.  I am always with you and never will forsake you.  I love you.”



THANK YOU LORD! It helps so much to be reminded of all this.  I know you have blessed me so much.  I have so much in you that others can only dream of.  You have given me a wonderful family and children.  You have given me a loving husband who cares for me like you would have him care for me. You have given me health even when I know I have abused my body. You have given me friends who lean on me and I lean on them.  You have provided a home and life for me that I always longed for when I was young.  Stable.  Forgive me Lord.. Forgive me for starting to become ungrateful, and for judging others.  You have shown me what I am capable of when I am not closely walking with you.  I know I see ppl as black and white sometimes and judge them for their actions and not their heart.  Help me remember the next time I start to think how horrible some one is that I could be them, I could do that same thing as easily as they could, but the difference is YOU and to show them that honestly.   THANK YOU LORD for lifting this spirit of heaviness and giving me garments of praise.  THANK YOU LORD for calling me into your presence even though I resisted.  I love you Lord and I thank you for loving me so much, for being the Lover of my soul.”



“Here is a big hug from me, feel it? I have already forgiven you.  Remember when I said it is finished?”



“Yes! And it feels so good Lord.  Help me now.  Help me to stay right here with you.  Help me to keep this focus and to walk in the spirit at all times.  Help me to care for my family and the other ppl you have put in my life the way you want me to.  Help me to be obedient to your calling on my life.  Help me to cast out these selfish thoughts.  Help me to think on things that are Pure and Lovely and Of Good Report and Praise Worthy.  Feed me your bread of life and grow me up in you.”



“Mary, I will, don't think I would have you do it all alone.  I am still working on you and perfecting you, these things will happen, but I will make you stronger each time.  Don't be away from me for so long, talk with me daily.  Now go back to the house work and get off the computer.”





I wrote that the other day in my Word Program (obviously). I have written alot just not here.  I can't seem to help myself, I must be a writer lol

It was early morning and it is the real conversation Me and Jesus had..   Since then life has been just a bit more brighter and easier to handle all I am dealing with.  I typed it as it all flashed in my head, did not pick up the Bible.  But reading it now I can see the many scriptures quoted in it, the promises I had read before.  See how his Word works!!  Hide it in your hearts friends..

Writing prompt# 144

Found a wonderful site called Creative Writing Prompts.  I have been meaning to try them for awhile and since I need to get my flow going before Tuesday I will be exploring some of them.  If you get inspired to write by one be sure to drop me a link so I can read.  Your criticism on these posts are WELCOMED and much needed. It is like the last minuet  training for the writing marathon I am about to embark on!    

Writing prompt# 144 weave a story using this mixed proverb: Bad News Cures All Things  

Carly admitted openly that she was a bitter type of person.  She really didn't care what others thought of her in that respect and would spout her sour complaints to anyone who would listen.  She never could grasp why no one wanted to talk with her for hours on end about why So and So had done Such and Such to her.  She would move on from friend to friend retelling each sad news that came into her realm of world view.  She was the kind of so called friend that would suck the marrow of your bones dry and then take a hard bite searching for more.  Gossip was the river of life she drew buckets from daily.  Drama Queen was most definitely a fitting title for Carly and if there was one available she would surely wear the crown with pride.   

Redirecting the course of the conversation with her into pleasant up lifting stories and taking the focus off her would of be a difficult task and almost unheard of.  To get into a dialog with her was like getting caught in a spider's web with no use in trying to escape, stuck as she moved in for a kill . To say it was exasperating dealing with Carly and her self centeredness would be an understatement. To try and help her see what was right in front of her face only earned you her wrath instead of her thankfulness.  She didn't know the meaning of being thankful and she was honestly confused with other's happiness.  On the outside it would seem Carly's life goal was to bring other's down to the sad pit she lived in.  Her life philosophy was "If I am going down, I am taking EVERYONE down with me"  

Why was she like this and could she ever change?   Why did she always have to be the person who thought bad news would cure all things in her own life. Why did she feel she had to thrive on drama after drama?  Did she not crave Peace? Why could she not see the joy in her life?  Did she not see how she only created these woes and drove people away?  How can you love a person such as Carly?  

Pray for all the people like Carly out there.  They are sad and lonely people and it is a balance between trying to show them freedom and being caught up in despair with them.   Try and remember the following Bible verse when dealing with the likes of Carly and you may manage to stay out of the cycle of vial gossip and prevent yourself from being poisoned by their negativity and turning into their clone.  

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.

**** Note**** Carly is not a real name ofcourse.. just one I pulled out of thin air, but we all can admit that we do know a few Carlys in our life as protrayed in this description and maybe we have in some ways been like a Carly too.

A Writing exercise inspired by the Other Journal's Section.

NANOWRIMO is coming up and I have no clue what I am going to spend 30 days writing about.  November 1st seems to be getting here too quick and I am wondering if I should even bother this year at being a .  I have been looking for writing promps that may inspire me to actualy WRITE and get out of this rut I feel like I am in.  Then I saw this tonight and my writing jucies started to flow.. so Enjoy.

Inspiration from the Other Journals Section of

Here are just a few Comments On The Events Of My Life. Nothing extremely important about this posting.  You could toss a quarter betting how it will turn out but be sure to look at Both Sides Of The Coin checking it is an even shake.  I could tell you I was Born To Blog about the Porkchop dinner I cooked last week or the Life Changes that make me long for The Back Roads Of Life. Or I could point you in the direction that Jesus Is Coming THIS Generation and give you the radio station that has an informative show called Endtimes News and Views and pray that you would not take it as just Ramblings Of She Who Reads too much.  But I know it is the Simple Yet Satisfying essays that perk readers to muse over Reflections From WithinSometimes I Think it is the Small Things that get readers most excited and plant seeds of Life and Faith.  I could retell the story of when I 16 and was Living Just Off The Strip in Las Vegas and how I had all these outrageous debates over at Patrick's Place but some things we just Don't Speak of anymore. Chasenkids seems to be what my life is mainly filled with these days but don't get me wrong, motherhood could be A Rose By Any Other Name and not smell as sweet as my family does to me.  I have so much to be thankful for and am glad I don't have to tell you stories such as My Journey With MS or about being broken down in MoonDawg's Parking Lot or my woes of Movin On from relationship to relationship.  My life may seem mundane to most but I am happy to have friends like you who let me blog about Life As I See it and still come back for more with each entry. But J~Land is a give and take kind of place and I grow each time I read such fantastic blogs as The Peach Pages or listen to Lori's Laurel's.  Not that I agree with everything I read and hear but I think it is great that we are the kind of community that let's people make a Point And Counterpoint and spur others to make a Cross Examination of our positions and still walk a way without too many hurt feelings.   The one bit of advice I would like to give my fellow blogers is to update your Other Journals section often incase you do embark on a writing challenge such as this. Then you will not find as many broken links and outdated journals as I have in mine while trying to compose this entry.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Something cool! Add me to your feeds

Add to My AOL

For those who keep track of websites and blogs threw a RSS feed.. click that and you will have my feed!  Something new I just found.. AOL is running a BETA My AOL.. that includes a RSS Feed.. that is easy as pie to update.  Click the

Add to My AOL and it will take you there and auto add me to your feed! This may also be a good idea to get into if your AOL Alerts are still acting wacky (like mine).  You can find any of your fav journals and your' RSS Feed by going to the veryyyyy bottom of the blog and clicking on the Get The Feed hyper link, then copy and paste the address it give you.

 I also have added it to my side bar about me section for any new comers who may want to use it too.  Boy that section is getting crowded.. I need to update it soon.

We have a ghost.... NOT!

The crime: fruit punch all over BRAND NEW carpet. No this was not just an "opps I spilled" (even though they have been warned 100 times no food or drink any where but the kitchen) This was a deliberant.. "lets see how red we can make the carpet and fun patterns "spill.

The guilty party: Sweet cutie-pie 4yrd Sophia 

The excuse:  We have Ghost Mommy.. he did it!

The punishment:  "get away from me Sophia and up to your room before I HURTTTTTTTTTT YOU!!!!!!!!!"


And when I told Josh about it on the phone (as I was scrubbing) he was rolling laughing!!  I blame T.V. for this.. really!  Have you seen that commercial for the Bissel SpotBot??!  To really see how bad it was click the pics and enlarge the screen.

I have been painting the bathroom all day and KNEW Sophia was being too quiet for my own good. *sigh*  I am almost done with the bathroom.. one more day and then I'll post the pics.. I ran out of paint.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


Thanks to plittle for allowing me to participate in CarnivAOL this week and for highlighting many other wonderful blog entries from our J~Land community.  Go and check it out! And if you have an entry you would like to see highlighted, either from your own blog or some one else's for the next time around, drop him the link in an e-mail.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Well.. that was a waste of time and gas!

Today I had conferences with Zane's teacher.  We live a good bit out of town so anytime I go into town I want it to count and be productive.. you know with gas prices and everything.  I am majorly peeved that the boundary lines for this school district are so funky.. we have a brand new Elementary school 5 min. away from us but the way the line is my children have to go to the schools in town.. where every grade is split up funny.. not all in one school building.  So I have 3 of my 4 kids in 3 different school buildings!

I was looking forward to meeting Zane's 5th grade teacher and hearing how he was doing in his new school. Moving has always been hardest on him and I was wanting to hear how he was assimilating back into a regular class room.  Last year he was in the special E-Mints class where they did just about EVERYTHING on the computer and net. I asked Zane yesterday if he should tell me anything before I go.. so there were no surprises.. and with a solemn face he said, "Well, sometimes I am a bit talkative" LOL

I really feel like I wasted my time going all the way up to the school and getting the kind of report on my son that I could of gotten over the phone or in the mail.  She showed me his grades.. 4 A- and 1 B+ and then just sat there waiting for me to speak. Umm.. ok.. "How is he in class" I asked, "is he talkative like he warned me you may say?"  for one she has perfect white straight teeth.. and that is so annoying to me considering how mine are LOL but anyway.. "Oh no.. there was just that one week he seemed to be but other than that he is never disruptive and very considerate. He is a pleasure to have in class"she answered.  that is good to hear. She really didn't have anything else to tell me about him and I was a bit frustrated that I was the one who had to force conversation.  In the past all of his teachers have said good things about him so that is expected but they also had samples of his work and if he needed to set any goals for the rest of the year and what not.  I find it hard to believe my boy is PERFECT.. heeehee well maybe not but still she could of been more prepared I think then just showing me a piece of paper with his grades and a blank look on her face.  I was there less then 10 min. She couldn't even tell me which was his desk.. because they had just moved them around today.  I stressed again that I would like him tested for the gifted program and that was one of the apeals for moving out here.  And again she said they won't do that till the end of the year when they give her a list of questions for her to answer about him.  Oh? "So from what you have seen from him this year would you say he should be in that program??" I asked.  She said on some things yes but it has been awhile since she seen the list of questions so she really couldn't say.  (I didn't do an eye roll.. I controlled myself)  I asked if he had made friends.. was he picked on at all.. you know how kids are they may not tell the parents these things.  She said as far as she could tell he did well at making friends and on the play ground is always in a group playing and if he was picked on she never heard of it but sometimes she is the last to know about those things too. 

I guess I felt like all her answers were generic and impersonal.. like she really didn't know my son or gave any thought into our conference. 

Am I just being spoiled and had good attentive teachers in the past and am thinking there should be more to it then this??  This is a rural area that is growing .. and growing fast, and I know I am not the only transplant who  has moved here and has issues with how the schools are.  Home schooling is looking more and more attractive.  My concern about my son is that he is not being pushed.. he is settling for mediocre and not being challenged.. not being prepared for the real world.

*sigh*   Lilly's teacher conference is Wednesday.. we'll see how that one goes.

I fall short all the time but tomorrow is another day, catching up with what is going on with me.

Yesterday the plan was get up for church at 10 and then drive to the In Laws for a planned family birthday party for Zane at 1 and then back all the way home and take the Girls to Awana's by 5:45.

I thought I was doing good and being a wise planner by making home made chicken noodle soup in the crock pot Saturday night.  I boiled a whole chicken and took the broth from it and added bullion and carrots and celery and then de-boned the chicken and separated it.. some for the soup and some for another dinner.. how thrifty of me.  I put the soup on high most of Saturday night and played on the computer till I was board.  Then I added uncooked noodles to the crock pot, turning it to low and went up to my room for bed.  I flipped on the tv. because I need the back ground noise to fall asleep.. the bed is very lonely with out Josh.  I found a new channel called Link TV.  I started to watch some documentary on Israel and Palestine.. a topic I am very interested in. I stomached the askew view of what was being spouted out at me.. I tried not to throw up and prayed that since the show was on so late others would miss that junk.  I don't know what time I finally fell asleep.. must of been late late. I forgot to set my alarm.

Next thing I know it is 11a.m. the kids are fighting on who pours the cereal and the milk.  I let them fight it out knowing going to church this week is a lost cause and drift back to sleep.  That was stupid.. I should of stayed awake because  when I did become fully awake it was almost 1!!  How could I of let that happen!!!  I dialed up my in laws and as the phone rings I tried to think of what I should say.. should I lie, what could possible be my excuse for being so late.  I told them we were getting a late start and were heading out the door now.. ugh.  SO I rushed us all to get dressed and after 15 min. of looking for a missing shoe we were on our way for the long drive to South County Saint Louis from Troy MO.

I don't drive hardly anywhere anymore and I forget how long it really takes to go places.  We left 35 min. after I had told my in laws we were heading out the door.  Again I was contemplating a lie to tell them for us being even more late.  After all Zane was to be the guest of honor and they were holding lunch for us.  Should I tell them I was half way to St Charles and had to turnaround because I forgot my wallet?  Should I tell them my van was having trouble starting?? Anything to make me look like less of a looser.  But I didn't, I just speed 75 miles an hour on the highway praying I wouldn't get pulled over and ticked (plus my plates are expired and my insurance needs to be renewed.. I would be in BIG trouble if I got pulled over) 

My guilt was eating at me as we pulled up at their house at 2:30.  Yesss it takes thatttttttt long to get to their house even with speeding but if my day was started as I had planned it, it wouldn't of mattered how long it took to get there. They open the door and the kids give them all hugs and kisses and the tables were set waiting for us to sit down.  I gave a big  hug to my step MIL and told her I am so so so sorry we are so late and feel really bad.. WOULD YOU PLEASE FORGIVE ME, we missed church today and it threw me all off.  There I told the truth.. I didn't lie and she SAID.. oh don't worry about it.

We eat a very yummy meal with Josh's side of the family and had cake.. no ice cream because in my rush to get there I forgot to pick up some as I was asked.  After being questioned on why we are not going Trick or Treating this year (we have not done that for almost 3 years now and they know that) and other pleasant conversation it was 5:00 and time for me to rush the kids to Awana.  Our pumpkins we had painted were in the trunk of the van but every now and then if I made a sharp turn or stop one would roll under the kids seat.  Needless to say this caused the kids very much concern. We made it to the church in Troy that holds Awana at 6:00.  I was late again.  The pumpkins did fair well but could stand a touch up.  I dropped the girls off at their classrooms with pumpkins in tow.. only to find out.... THE CONTEST ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!  I was told a few times that they hope we do bring them back and to put them in a cool place so they don't rot. (I have 5 of them.. and I don't think I can find room in my fridge for them)

We got home and I was looking forward to the soup I had planned.  It has become fall weather chilly outside and hot soup would of soothed my wounds from the day.  I go to dish it out.. and find that it is no longer soup but stew.  The noodles had turn to total MUSH and there was hardly any broth. Uggggggggggggh.  See... I thought to myself all Saturday.. "Oh Mary you can't use the excuse anymore that you can't cook.. you have made some wonderful meals lately and this is going to be so good, Josh is going to wish he had not missed it."  I don't know what happen to my soup.. I guess I can still use that label as BAD COOK.  The kids picked at it and ate only a few bites.  The mush did not go over well and I am very disappointed that I had to throw it all out.

Josh called to tell everyone good night.  He had Sunday off and drove up from Rockford IL to Wisconsin to visit our friends that live up there.  Our friends are getting ready to close on a house next week and move in right away.  Since Josh is a painter by trade he helped them paint the town house they are moving out of. And he even watched the kids for my friend so she could go out for a little while with my other friend. I told my girlfriend that it is not fair.. he hasn't painted for me yet in my own house! LOL  I told her she should send something home with Josh as payback for my loss and her gain... she said.. oh no Mary.. You are a Saint now and don't do that anymore LOL.. temptation abated and I am glad, but after the day I had getting stoned sound pretty good.  As I talked to Josh and told him about the day and how I missed church and was soooooo late getting to his parents he said.. "OH, I KNOW" he had talked to them and in the course of their conversation it was stressed how late I was only like 3 times!!  So much for forgiveness huh (if you only knew the irony but I wont go there) but it is what I have come to expect.  My sweet husband told me not to worry about it or give it another thought (yet here I am thinking about it).

I am starting to really miss Josh and look forward to his return home.  I have parent teacher conferences all this week for the kids.  I wish he could be here for them.  But he is here in spirit and that is important too.  The bills have piled up and him working out of town longgggg hours is really going to help.  I got some paint am going to try painting our small downstairs bathroom with the Wall Magic kit Josh's mom gave us after she moved.  Maybe if I can't cook I can get a boost of self accomplishment from being all artsy and crafty?

Josh said the out of town job may now last till the FIRST OF THE YEAR! OUCH!!!  But he said the foreman was going on and on about how happy he is with Josh and promised that he would keep him on for the duration, something Josh is not used to hearing.  He is a hard worker but the previous company he was with had something of a jerk for a Superintendent and never gave complements or any type of appreciation.  So Josh got an ego boost.. I am happy for him.  Josh is coming home Nov 2nd but is only staying two days.  His graduation ceremony and dinner for moving up in the Union is on the 2nd at a nice Hotel so he is coming home for that event.  Even though he advanced to journeymen over the summer they hold the ceremony in November.  We are hoping to get all gussied up and have lots of fun and maybe even get a room. So at least I have that to look forward to.


Sunday, October 23, 2005

Pumpkin Painting!

Saturday was a fun filled day of painting.. Pumpkins!  Ya, I know that is different but we are not into Jack-O-Lanterns (too messy and not too happy about the origins)  The girls are in AWANA and they are holding a pumpkin painting contest tomorrow and Zane's is taking his in for his Cub Scout Pack Meeting Monday.. so ofcourse I waited till the last min. to get it done.  The girl's contest is for best painted pumpkin with a scripture theme.

I had to do one too.. you know for fun.  When the contests are over we will display them all on our porch.  I thought I had gotten the right stuff to spray on them after they were finished so they would be sealed and hold up under the elements but I need to go back and find something else..ugh.

Mine is inspired by:

Revelation 7:14 And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

It is Jesus's blood that cleanses us of our sins.. thus the  dripping blood on the pumpkin is supposed to look like it is dissolving into white.

Lilly's is based on this scripture:

Isaiah 48:13 Mine hand also hath laid the foundation of the earth, and my right hand hath spanned the heavens: [when] I call unto them, they stand up together.

I had in mind the song, He's Got The Whole World In His Hands..but it is not a scripture so I had to search to find something that fitted.  It works well I think.

Annie's is obvious, based on Jonah and the Wale.  I guess on her's it is just before Jonah is swallowed up by the big fish.  She even put the detail in with seaweed and jellyfish lol .. but I think jelly fish are not found in that part of the ocean where Jonah was thrown over board.. still she had fun.

Zane's is based on this scripture:

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Zane had wanted to do a scene showing Daniel praying and then being thrown in the Lion's Den by the King and then coming out alive because the Angels had shut the lion's mouths.  But I told him that would be too much detail for such a small pumpkin.. think simple and to the point.  The boy needs soooooo much work on his penmanship but it is the thought that counts.

Sophia's is based on:

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God

That is one of her memory verses from AWANA and I thought since she basically painted the pumpkin black by mistake.. falling short.. it was fitting.  She loved doing the glitter on it. 


This is from a post I did last year but I thought it was worth reposting:

A woman was asked by a co-worker, "What is it like to be a Christian?"
The coworker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc., and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

Friday, October 21, 2005

Forgiving Yourself and letting God use you.

You know Satan can be subtle sometimes.. whispering in your ear, even using those who think they are trying to be helpful but instead planting those seeds of doubt that if you let settle into your soul and thought process, keep you from God's will in your life.

Because I am so out spoken on the abortion matter and speak openly about my own there may be some who do not understand that it is NOT ME BEATING MY SELF up about it or dwelling on my hurts but it is more God using ME where I have been hurt the most, turning what was meant for harm and using it for HIS purpose.  There may be some who think I have not forgiven myself and that is why I can not let that issue go.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  It is these times in off line conversations that I wish I could pull out a printed page of my journal writings and have them see what I really think and see where God has really brought me. 

I have said it before, sometimes it is just easier for me to write then to speak.  Because when I do get in these conversations sometimes my words escape me.  Here is an example of my writing that focused on why I do write and stand against abortion that I wish I could of given this one particular person.  Maybe later I will print it and give it to them.. good idea.

While this person may of thought they were trying to be helpful by saying.. Mary you just need to let go of it and forgive yourself.. then you wouldn't get so excited about these things, What I perceive what this person was really saying (even if this person didn't realize it).. sit down and shut up about it, don't be passionate about anything God wants to do with you about this.  This person doesn't like it when the subject comes up (because they are pro choice) and it has nothing to do with my own healing when they suggests I forgive myself and let go of it all. It is more about avoidance. Along the same lines as some one in a church saying it is not my issue and refuses to get involved.  If this person really thought about it and sees the consequences of abortion they would have a better understanding.  Maybe me writing this post is preparing me for the next conversation. 

Often women who have had an abortion DONT speak about it.. they hide from it, they try and shove it down as far it will go and avoid the topic at all costs.  I used to be like that, running from my own pain and my shame and my guilt.  I tell you it is something that eats at your soul and you may not even be aware of it because you avoid it and not face it.  The real healing starts when you stop hiding and bring what is hidden to the surface and deal with it.  But that is JUST a start. Healing comes from understanding how God views you and TRUELY forgives, understanding his character, setting you free from that control it once had over you, squashing the lies Satan tells you about yourself. 

TRUTH is Freeing!  Satan loves it when we run from our hurts and avoid them. He loves to keep it quiet so he can use it to twist it around in you and keep you in bondage and keep you from coming to God with it.  Satan HATES YOU and will use your shame and guilt against you.  God LOVES YOU and it is his forgiveness that frees you, because then when condemnation comes against you, you can tell Satan the father of all lies, to SHUT UP AND LEAVE.  When you understand and ACCEPT God's forgiveness, that is when you can forgive yourself and your shame and pain can heal.  I am not just talking about abortion but all your past  and current hurts.

When I am out spoken about abortion and the pain it brings, when I speak the Truth about how God sees it as murder, it is from personal understanding and revelation and my relationship with Jesus Christ and the ONLY ONLY ONLY way I can be bold enough to do it is because I AM FORGIVEN.  I don't think by doing these things it will ADD to my salvation or God's forgiveness in the least bit. To quote Jesus hanging on the cross, " IT IS DONE, IT IS FINNISHED". No way can I add to what he has done for me. I HAVE forgiven myself for the murder of what would of been my first born.  Those who do not forgive themselves or know God's, think that if they DO something that will help their pain and help make up for what they have done.

Then why do I do it if I don't HAVE to you may ask.  Simply put.. to raise awareness.  For God to use me, because HE has ENABLED ME to, for him to use me where I have been hurt the most.  To shine God's love.  When you know his forgiveness you want to SHOUT IT from the mountain tops... I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  You WANT others to know they too can be FREE, because that is love.  But because with abortion it is the deep hidden hurt, the grief women in our society are NOT allowed to feel and speak of, it has to be brought to light. People have to become aware that abortion is not the quick fix it is marketed to be, that it hurts women, not helps them, that it is loosing a child, killing it. 

My heart goes out to the MO Inmate who at this very moment is getting an abortion at 18 weeks, it is a two day "procedure".  When you are that far along it takes two days to kill the baby. That is two days of her going threw something so traumatic. She is going to have to live with it for the rest of her life.  It will effect every personal relationship she is eve going to have and what ever relationship she may have with God, it is going to mess with her selfworth and self esteem, many women suffer deep depression that drives them to drugs and alcohol, she may even suffer from flash backs, and a form of post traumatic stress.  The statistics is that it takes 5-10 years before a women can come to grips with what has happen and what she has done and can face it.  And the sad thing is all that pain and hurt could be avoided.  But like I said Satan is a liar and tells you at the time this is the best thing for you and an answer to your problems, setting his trap, and then uses it against you later.

Many people believe a lie and DON'T have the message of life spoken into their own life.  I can't help but think if only my mother and aunt who helped me make that "choice" and took me in for the abortion hand a strong prolife voice spoken into their own life, could my own pain be avoided.  If they had only KNOWN the truth of what it was going to do to me and to my child.  But they didn't and I have suffered.  I would like to think that I can part of that VOICE now to other women who are considering abortion and hope they can avoid going threw the same things I have had to. Or for  women and men who has gone threw an abortion and is hurting in silence because of it, that God could use me in part of their own healing and forgiveness.. to be apart of their own salvation story.

I am sure any one who has learned from their past hurts and has received forgiveness for it can understand what I am saying.. to be the warning to that friend you love and now you see them going down the same path you did once and you don't want them to hurt like you did, you want them to know all the facts and consequences before they go there.

The one thing I would most like you to know about me is that I had an abortion at 15, it hurt me like hell, it shattered my life profoundly BUT God is good and just and forgiving and because of HIM I am healing and yes.. I have forgiven myself dispite how I may come across.


I decided after writing this entry to enter it in

October's Artsy Essay

 Picture from Hometown

The topic for this month's contest is:

 The one thing I would most like you to know about me..

Some how I think this entry is fitting of that topic.


Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Wacky AOL.. and other tid bits.

What is up with AOL'S e-mail service today???!!  At first it was I could not get any new e-mails in my in box but I could read my old ones.  AND NOW I can't even read those nor send out mail.  I suspect they are doing some upgrade and ofcourse when ever they do that somewhere on AOL always get's screwy.  I don't think my alerts have EVER gotten back to normal either, even after reseting them. I guess it is a good thing I DIDN'T have any important e-mails to send out today!  And I know I am not the only one effected by all this.  Good thing I am a loyal customer.


   I know I don't have any control over how they name the Troppical storms and Hurricans BUT Couldn't they of found a better one then Wilma!!!  That is my mom's name!  I could think of a few other people they could name this storm after that it better discribes.. my mom is no where near hurrican force.. even when she is upset.  I know.. they go by some system.  They are saying that if this would of been a normal season this storm would of been the worst.. so watch out.. it is coming America's way by this weekend.  


   I also find it really sad that MOST of the songs on VH1's Most Awesomely Bad #1 Hit songs I loveeeeee.. Granted most of them are old.. from back in the day and I hardly listen to them anymore.. ya ok.. Color Me Bad was pretty bad but COME ONNNN Marky Mark and Good Vibrations... mmmmmmm How did that make the list!  I saw the show last night and every other song I loved they cut down. LOL  Speaking of music.. I am so ready to throw my computer threw a wall.  I can't get my Window's Media Player to work!  The program won't load at all.  I can listen to music online and such but all the stuff on my hard drive wont come up because WMP wont open up and I can't add music (rip) either.  I have a whole CD of songs I want to add just for my journal!   Oh well.  That was just some stuff milling around in my head that were safe to put out there.  I know my last post may of seemed over the top but that is a hot button issue for me and I will likely be writing more on it later.

Monday, October 17, 2005

A Stay of Execution..***UPDATED

Where have I been??!! I totally missed this story about a female inmate seeking an abortion in my own back yard (Saint Louis) but was granted a stay of execution of the BABY by Supreme Court Justice Thomas last Friday.  If only the other babies that are murdered every 23 seconds in America were so lucky!

Should my tax money be used to help this women kill her baby... HELL NO!

Don't get me wrong.. I totally feel for the women who wants to kill her baby.  Been there and done that and I DONT WISH THAT PAIN ON ANY ONE!  I am sure she sees it as a solution to a major problem but it is just a temporary one where the cost to an innocent life and the women is DEEP.

And as a women who has gone threw an abortion herself and knowing the deep hurts it causes and the possibility of worse health issues then going threw 9 months of pregnancy (breast cancer, sterilization, DEATH),  I find it a slap in the face to ask ME, a tax payer to pay for her ride to the clinic.. it would be as if I myself was driving her.. and you KNOW I would never do that.  And I know MOST of Missouri Tax Payers feel the same.

I thank Judge Thomas for staying this execution. I pray that it stands or goes to the full court for a vote.. so a precedent may be made. I pray that the child's life may be saved and that he or she will be loved in an adoptive home (I volunteer!) or that the mother does come to a place in her life where she can see it is more loving to mother a child then to kill it.

You know I will be following this story closely from here on in. 

Proverbs 24:11-12    If thou forbear to deliver [them that are] drawn unto death, and [those that are] ready to be slain; If thou sayest, Behold, we knew it not; doth not he that pondereth the heart consider [it]? and he that keepeth thy soul, doth [not] he know [it]? and shall [not] he render to [every] man according to his works?

*****UPDATE*****   Apparently I was reading Sunday's (yesterday's news as they say)

Here is the up dated link reported Monday the 17th.

Sadly, tax payers are now in the business of abortion and our Supreme Court didn't even have the balls to sign their name to the order and gave only a two line blurt.

"The U.S. Supreme Court cleared the way Monday for a Missouri inmate to receive an abortion that was delayed for weeks by a new prison policy.

In an unsigned, two-sentence order, the court ended a temporary delay that was issued late Friday night by Justice Clarence Thomas"

They don't even have the guts to put their name on this baby's death warrant.

"In court filings last week, Roe's lawyers said she was 16 to 17 weeks pregnant.."

"What's Going on with Your Baby?
The fetus is about 6 and 1/4 inches long and weighs 4-5 ounces, about the same size as the placenta. The eyes are more forward than on either side of the face now. Your baby's ears have started to pop from his head and lanugo is beginning to appear on your baby's head and body. What a cutie!

On average, most moms are feeling fetal movement by now. Kick, little one, kick!"

Yes, Kick little one.. kick for your life..maybe your mom will have a change of heart.. our courts have abandoned you and I am footing part of the bill..


Composed this morning after Josh left for out of town. It is sappy.. you may want to skip it.

My Dear Amour~     

You are gone but your presence still lingers in my heart.  Your scent lays on my pillow and fills my nostrils when I inhale.  I close my eyes and remember the longing in yours from last night. Your smile and sweet words of affection ring in my ears.  I prayed the sun would never come up and stay your departure but alas now only my dreams filled with you flutter around my mind. My tear streaked eyes opened this morning to find an empty space on your side of the bed.       

Our good bye was long and sweet and I savored each moment. Your kisses and touch will have to sustain me these weeks to come.  How will I not go insane with want and longing in my heart for you?  How did I ever live before you filled my world and this empty space?  My love for you shall never wavier and I will hold on till your return.       

I know your leaving is a temporary but necessary solution.  You have only been gone for a few hours but I long and wish for your return speedy return as the sun wakes up this morning and paints the sky oranges and yellows.  Promise me this will be the last time we must go threw this.  Promise me that your return will be the last and these goodbyes will never be uttered again. There is only so much I can do to distract myself from this longing I suffer as the lonely air in our room grows stale.       

Until we meet in the flesh again, may you remember my kisses and passion for you.  

Love Your Devoted Wife~  

Song of Solomon 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love [is] better than wine.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Round Robin Photo Challange #2 Entry... Historic Hanibal, MO.. home of Mark Twain

Here is my second entry for Villiage and my modivation to get my travel pics off my memory card so I can clear it.  This was from this summer when I took a trip up to Wisconsin with my mom.  We stopped very briefly in Hanibal,MO.. about 90 miles from where I live now.  I loveeeeeeeee all these old buildings and the stories behind them.  Maybe next time I will trek up to the light house and get some good long shots.

Round Robin Photo Challange.. Entry#1 Plastic Village

I have two submissions for the Round Robin this week. The subject this week was Village and I was somewhat stumped. Then inspirtion hit me as I played with Sophia.  Thus the Plastic Village entry.  But then I remembered my trip over the summer and the pics I took when in Hanibal, MO.  I need to get them off my memory card since it is full and needs to be cleared.  So those are up next.

Who said toys are just for kids??? My husband thinks I am a dork.. but hey it was fun!

It is Official.. my son turned into a Tween Today! HAPPY 11TH BIRTHDAY ZANE!!

Enjoy viewing my son grow threw the years in pictures.  They make me want to CRY!!

I took him to school today so I could pick up a snack for his class on the way.  You can never go wrong with Little Debbie Snack Cakes!  As we checked out I asked the cashier.. "Does my boy look like he is 11!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!? She ofcourse to my son's dismay said .. "Oh no.. 9 or 10 maybe." HAHA.. Then I asked.."Even more important.. DO I look like a MOTHER to an 11 year old??!!!!! aww" And ofcourse to be polite ,I am sure..said NO WAY.  See there are some small benefits to having a child at 17 (just kidding)

And you know what that little punk of mine said.. "You know Mom, Just FIVE more years and then I will be 16!!" I insisted he was doing his math wrong.. but we know he is a mathematical genius and has to be right... OK, I think I am going to go throw up now.

He is having his first sleep over party at our new house this Friday.  The movie freak that he is asked his friends to bring their favorite movies (I requested nothing over PG-13) so they can stay up all night watching them.  I suspect they may make it to midnight but will poop out by 1.  I have 3 confirmed boys coming and waiting on 2 others who got invites but haven't RSVP yet.  Per Zane's request I found a place for his sisters to sleep over the night of the party.  He thinks that in of it's self.. one full night with out girls (except me ofcourse) is a great Birthday gift.  He is going to freak when he sees what his dad and I got him. I can't say too much.. he sometimes reads this, so  shhhhhhhhh.


I will be back to post my Round Robin Photo.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

AWWWWwwwwwwww Poor Kitty!!!

It looks worse than what it is.. really!  He was declawed and neudtared last week and he was still really favoring that paw and not wanting to use it right.  It looked like he was walking around on his wrist.. just pittaful looking.  But the vet tells me he is FINE and in time he will be all normal.  After a week of him not using it, the vet decided to splint it to encourage him to use it.  The vet said because they used nerve blockers in surgary it some times takes longer for them to "thaw out" and the wrap should help.  I hope so!!! Poory baby! Doesn't he just look so sad!

Saturday, October 8, 2005

XXXCHURCH.COM ... it may not be what you think.

#1 Christian Porn Site  check it out..

And don't worry.. I would never post anything on purpose to get me a TOS. LOL. But I think you will find this site to be unique and for MANY PEOPLE very helpful.

Having trouble reading journal and webpage font?? Here is what you do..

For what ever reason the last two days I could not read anyone's, including mine, journal's.  The fonts were sooooooo small it was crazy to even try.  I thought it was my computer and checked my fonts and all that but nope, normal.

Rach showed me a tempary fix so I can at least see what I am reading. 

Press down Ctrl button as you scroll your mouse on the page.. changes the font so you can read. 

I have nooo clue why the fonts are acting wacky and if it is just me or not.. some one should ask Joe the Journal Editor about it lol but not me.. lol

*Reminder* Today is the last day to do Journal Award nominations!  So if you havn't done it yet.. DO IT NOW!

Friday, October 7, 2005

My Best Series of Entries for consideration for nomination..


I was just browsing the Official Journal Award's Journal (click the pic for the link) and it struck me as ironic.. that VIV means life in Latin and the series of post I wish to high light are about  life.. well two lives. One that was taken and one that was changed forever because of it.  

This song helps me when ever I think of these entries....CLICK HERE TO PLAY if it doesnt load

I am not going to beg or anything.. I am proud of these entries and even if they don't get nominated and recognized it was freeing for me to write them last winter/spring.  I know the subject matter is controversial and may be hard for some to accept my Point Of View. All I ask is you read them threw if you can and if you feel they are worthy.. then click here and nominate them so they can be voted on by all of J~Land.  *Reminder, the nominations close at Midnight Saturday!  
Award for a single entry or series of related entries on a particular topic.

I have these links of entries from my journal in my webpage Help After Abortion but I think I should put them here also if I want them for consideration to be nominated.So use this address:  when and if you go and nominate.

Can I be Silent No More?
Yes I can.. I am going to do it.
How I got pregnant and the father's role in it all.
Why I write on it
When I found out I was pregnant at 15 and how it was decided to get an abortion.
Not Acceptable Birth Control
The Clinic
In the Room
How my husband feels
Prayer Meeting
Apathy In the Body Of Christ
Encouraging E-Mail
Talk with my children
The Silent No More Gathering '05 Saint Louis, MO
Answering a question posted in my comment section

Thursday, October 6, 2005

Good bye hard water and HELLO good reading!

I may of not of told you this before but the water at my new house is just... ugh!  Normally I wouldn't care since I didn't know the difference really between hard water and soft or that one city's water could be that much different to another only 20 miles away.. but in my efforts to drink more water and less soda I found out quickly that THERE IS! And maybe just maybe, it is also the cause of my dried out scalp and skin.  Not to mention the stomach problems I have been having as my body adjusted to the new water!!! My husband thought it was all in my head and insisted that water is water and I am wasting our money on bottled water.  When our neighbors told us that they just got a water softener (as she gave me all her old soap) our jaws dropped at how much she said the system cost them and I knew that was not going to help my efforts any in convincing my husband that something needed to be done with ours.

When the sales man rang my bell I groaned.. I hate sales people lol.  He just asked if he could come back at a later time to test our water and we would get a gift card from Wal-Mart even if we did not buy anything. To get him to leave (I have not learned to just say no yet) I signed the little card he had that would enable him to call to set up an appointment and figured when he did call I would let it go to voice mail. (I'm such a chicken that way haha) I'd say it was a week or so between him being at my door and calling and during all that week I had been working on Josh about the water.  I was thinking of at least going out and getting something for the sink.. or one of those filter pitchers so I could have some decent drinking water.

When he came and showed us with his test kit what was in our water and just how really, really, really..NO I MEAN REALLY, REALLY hard it was we were already sold LOL. The benefit of having 4 years of soap and detergent was a side thing and having softer clearer skin and being all around more healthy. When he showed us the difference between how soap foams and works  with hard and soft water it finally click that was why my bubble bath was almost half gone already Some how we qualified for the credit (ugh there is that ugly word again) to get the system installed. So as you can see I have better water now and for the next 5 years will be paying for it.. but the plan is to just pay it all off with our tax return.. I hate being in debt.

If you are curious, it was an Ionics's that we got.(couldn't find a web site to refer you to.. I may post it later if you want)  I was not joking when I asked if he was hiring sales people.  I am so happy about this system that it is actually something I can see myself telling other people to buy! And with this subdivision having the potential of 500 new homes.. I can see the need and the money that is potentially here. AND what better way to meet new neigbors right! LOL  Ya, I don't think that is going to happen.. I am not a sales person but I am telling you I love my water now.

Also yesterday...

As you can see from the picture I got my signed copy of Savoir Flava!!!! Being lazy today.. the link for it is two entries down.. you should read that pimping entry anyway!  When I finish the book I will for sure give my review but just reading the intro and dedication page I already know I am going to like it.


Wednesday, October 5, 2005

OH NO!! Already!!

Dear Esteemed Wrimo,

It's that time again.

NaNoWriMo has officially opened for its seventh noveling season, and we'd love to have you back for another raucous and productive November.

To reactivate your 2004 account, just head to and click on the User Login Tab

If you are an Earthlink subscriber, you may be affected by a problem Earthlink is having with their DNS servers. If you are seeing a site instead of the NaNoWriMo site, please email for instructions on how to work around this problem.

See you in the forums!

The NaNoWriMo Staff


  If you remember I did it last year and was able to get the word count to get the esteamed avatar.  Should I do it again this year??!! Throw myself into a marthon of writing with only one goal.. get to 500,000 word count in 30 Days and in effect write a novel??  While I was able to get the word count last year.. I never did finish the book and by the end of November my husband wanted to kill me.  The book I started seems like crap to me now and pointless in finishing.  Maybe I will try this year and think of last year as just practice? I better start brain storming now! October goes fast and the writing can only start on November 1st.  If anyone else is going to be doing this let me know!

Tuesday, October 4, 2005

PIMPING-EXTRAVAGANZA Journals for your consideration for the VIV Awards!

Not sure if my song uploaded right but we can try....CLICK HERE TO PLAY if it doesnt load

I spent most of the day yesterday working on this entry so pay attention! I have compiled a list of some of the people in my realm of reading in J~Land.  They are my precious blog neighbors, good friends that I have come to not be able to live with out.  They all have their own stories and at times come on over and share in chapters and pages of mine.  I know I may of left some out who are worthy to be mentioned so forgive me.  This list is not in any order what so ever (mostly how they came in my alerts today or in my favorites folders)  And yes I am being lazy and just posting the full address and not doing a hyper link.  But if you read the instructions at the Official Award's Journal you will see that you will NEED those addresses when it comes time for nominating and promoting.  The nomination's started last Saturday and will END this coming Saturday at Midnight.. but take your time because you can only vote once and if you find a new journal that you might want to name it will be too late if you have already nominated.  

Here is where you can get the low down on what the Journal Awards.. VIV Awards.. is all about and why we are doing this and what the categories are and where you can do some pimping of your own and where to nominate.  IF YOU ARE JUST A READER and do not have your own journal you ARE welcome to nominate and vote when the time comes.. so pay attention! (and vote vote vote!) ~Official Awards Journal ~Whereto leave links in the catiories that you want other people to check out.  ~Where to nominate

The ones I am pimping out!~~~ Sylvia has a UK blog that contains picture's and poems.  I love reading UK blogs.. um I think I know of a total of 2 lol Rebecca.. words like honey.  A talented writer for sure and I admit I am some what jealous of how she seems to put words to the page effortlessly  and make it  sound like poetry even if she thinks some of it is just  mundane sharing of her thoughts and life.  Not that I always agree with her viewpoints but I respect her style. Inspirational and a newbie to J~Land.. give her some love! Louise...  a family oriented journal but I love reading about the ups and downs and how they cope. dangermmm  A Music journal.  This is a brooding young man with an us vs them attitude and lets the music lyrics he posts speak for him and how he is feeling.  He also writes his own music and shares occasionally.  If anything this guy reminds me how much it sucks starting out in the world, how lonely it can be and how it can be all overwhelming.  I am sure a smart girl will snatch him up one day and make him smile (even though he cut off his lovely long locks lol)  Again I don't always agree with his view point but I respect his style! From the Male Point of View.. Lanny.  A retired gentlemen who it seems waits on his wife hand and foot.. We should all be so bless to have a husband such as him! LOL Mrs Peacy.. LOVE her stories from a school worker's, wife, mother, friend, sister's, believer's point of view. She is a MUST read!!  Christina, poems and inspirational entries as she deals with living with M.S. Some of her latest entries have really touched me. Vivian.. Queen of Journal Land!  NO really.. she is and that is how you WILL VOTE.. lol  She is not rulely or over bearing but gentle and loving and kind and I think she deserves the title of Queen again this year!  She should sweep this category I think.. lol she has helped facilitate so much community spirit here in Journal Land. Krissy.. wonderful blog with weekly questions and photo challenges.  She makes you think lol Jennette's Jottings.. lovely UK blog with lots of pictures. I love her because she lets us in and shows us her surroundings with little tales to accompany each picture.  I wish she would post an ABP entry just so I could hear the accent. lol  Laura the Love Nurse (neonatal intensive care nurse). She lives a very full life and invites you to read along as she juggles it all.  Pat's photo journal that is full of pics submitted by Us from Journal~Land.  Ever wonder what that person looks like on the other side of the screen or just looking for a new read.. this is the place to go.. I know Pat took himself out of the running because he is the one tallying up the votes but I still think this journal deserves a shout out. AWESOME PHOTO blog.. and here is a few hints he gave for making nominees.. Lori .. I just love her and so should you lol  She is a very good friend of mine that I met threw journals and who knows maybe I can sneak down to KY someday and we will meet lol. another newer journal for me but she is wonderful. Anna.. love her too! A single mother doing her best to get past hurts and raise her 2 children the best she can. She is also a dear friend to have in your corner!  most educational only because he keeps me updated with some of the shows I have missed but wanted to see and his Random thoughts are so interesting and funny but insightful.  I like to see things from other's point of view and his sure can be different lol. Gwyen posts when she can.. because she is OTR Truck driver team with her hubby.  I have known her for years but journals are still somewhat new to her.  I am glad she has taken it back up. She is inspiring and a dear sister.  Bill is the father figure to me in J~Land.  If they had Knight of the Blog it would be him..   retired NYC Port Authority Policemen that worked with Search and Rescue Dogs and helped in the recovery effort after 9-11, who also served in Nam in the Coast Guard.  He writes about his retirement in Las Vegas.. and it brings back many memories of when I lived there.  If I ever meet anyone from J~Land, he and his wife Libby are on the top of the List  Flava!  A published author (I have her book on back order whoohoo she just e-mailed me and said it has been mailed) but in her journal entries she talks about so much more and well worth the shout out and a go look see.  She is a newer read for me but I love her all ready. She speaks her mind and let's her self be known.. she is not shy to say the least.. well in  her journal anyway lol Barbara has a few journals now but this one seems to me to be her main one and the one I read the most.  She is indeed the heart and inspiration of J~Land.. in my opinion anyway.  If you don't read her daily yet.. make it so now! grahmfarmaga's look at her life down on the farm and she posts some great pictures too. Susan is also a newer read for me but because she is a Stay At home Mom like I am, I can relate a lot to her. She gives wonderful tips on being a home maker.. check her out for sure!  Chuck is a retired teacher living in a Senior Center and gives us his commentary on life on the inside and his daily pondering's.  I regard him as a very wise grandparent who is still feisty and worth my time and respect.. and yours too!!  We should all be so blessed to have the active mind that he has at his young age *wink*  Lisa calls her self damaged goods and for me anyway.. evokes the most emotion.  I see so much of myself in her writings and venting about her abusive past and how she is trying to cope and heal now.  I think of her as the Pre-Christ Mary.. how I could of been if I hadn't come to know him and let him heal me in so many area's of my life.  I know the Lord is still working on Lisa and I pray for her often.. check her out and leave encouraging comments! Jaime I believe is the funniest I have read.. and that is saying a lot.. there is so much talent out there but because she has 4 children like I do, I relate to how she can spin a story about kids walking around naked in winter books at the height of summer or the cute nick names she has given her co-workers and tenants that she Land Lords over.. the last few entries in her blog are serious because she has just been diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  If anything stop by and show her some love.. she needs it. Un-Common Sense is where I go when I need to put on my political thinking cap.. I love his commentary and the back and forth that goes on within the comment section.  This journal owner also was a victim of Journal Deletion this summer.. it was a big deal here in J~Land and we are all still waiting for the Apology from the AOL higher ups.. guess we shouldn't hold our breath but when you loose 18 months of entries for a FAKE TOS, no fault of your own.. you expect some measures to be taken.  Moondawg is another a Trucker that I have the pleaser of reading and I just love his spit fire style mixed with compassion.  He is for sure a one of a kind and worth reading.  E~ I am thinking of putting her under most missed blog and collage blog.. because it has been FOREVER since she updated.. I got to read her as she transitioned from H.S. teenager into Collage women. She was also one of the first persons who commented in my journal all those entries ago lol.  Maybe she has gone private and forgot to *umhem* send me a link or she is just taking a break because you know.... it is hard to look that good and go to school and keep a job and a bf and all that jaz and keep up with a blog too lol.  She still drops by now and then so I know she reads  and can still vote *wink*  Monica's journal Back Roads Of Life, I consider something of a travel journal because of her job working in a call center to one of those online agents.  Her work stories are a soooooooooooo funny but she is also a starting up a photography company, so check out her links section for her other blogs. Like a good conspiracy theory or just interested in the sign of the times.. this is A MUST READ PEOPLE!!! This Barbara is also inspiring and up lifting as she shares her life on the farm and family life.  She has NOT updated since Hurricane Rita and I am wondering what has become of her since she WAS in the path of the storm.  Read her back entries and keep her in prayer PLEASE.  

AND THIS MY FRIENDS IS JUST THE TIP OF MY DAILY READS! There is so much out there and I am sure I have left off some that I wish I could remember. But take your time this week and check out these wonderful friends of mine and nominate those you love and like and then VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!!!!!!  

And now.. some shameless self premonition of my own.  I would like to fit into the awards in some way or another but I don't hope to win in any category.. too much competition out there.  I have no idea what title I would fall under anyhow.. but you could have some fun figuring it out and nominating me anyway lol.  I would like to highlight one entry from this year that I wrote that I consider one of my best.  It is hard to narrow down to just one but this one I am proud of and I hope those who read it will be blessed. It was originally posted during February's Artsy Contest that Judith's Heart Song puts on,  I didn't win but I was able to share it with about 200 women at this year's Women's Retreat for MO, so in a way I did win! Because if it wasn't for that writing prompt I don't know if I would of ever written it.. but still  go read it.. it speaks for it's self (and then go and nominate me LOL).

Also for my best series of journal entries I would like to point you to one of my web pages that is a linked to the After Abortion Help Page that contains all the links in one place to the series of entries.. I wrote in detail about my participation in Silent No More and my own abortion story   I may have to go ahead and post the links back in my journal for consideration but check out the page anyway.  


Ok I know, I just laid a lot of journal links on you but you are not doing anything this week right LOL so go read, nominate, vote.