Wednesday, March 31, 2004

For my sister and everyone.

Previous Post about Marcy's last Visit (with Pics)  My testimony she read last night.

Matthew 18:2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

1 Peter 2:2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Hebrews 5:14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, [even] those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

He does all the work in you.  He cleans you up by his Holy Spirit. Come to him just as you are.

Parade of J~LAND'S Desks

Are you brave?  I think all those on this list who entered thier desk into the desk tour are lol.  The Queen of Pointless Postings has put together a collection of links from all over J~Land of pics of our desks.  I remember reading she was going to do this awhile ago but forgot about it cuz NO WAY was I going to put a pic of my old desk up.  But my new desk is up and she snagged a link from my journal to it. THANKS!  I am very proud of my hubbys work as you all know, so the more ppl who see it the better.  Mine ofcourse is the best on the list lol because it is hand crafted, love put into it, REAL WOOD, space for every thing.  heehee  Na I won't say its the best, give me a few weeks and it will probly be as messy as the other desks in J~Land.  Since we live in a place called J~Land now, should we think of our desks like the houses of the land and our blogs as the living room everyone comes in to from the front door?  Excuse the mess, but sit down and have a drink and lets catch up. : )

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Taking the babies for a walk

Yesterday was a wonderful day for a walk.  Seems like we have been cooped up inside since October.  So my babies and I took thier babies out for a walk.  They are soo cute and take thier job as mommies to thier dollies serously.  Sophia loves flowers and thinks those weeds danylions are flowers so she stopped and picked every single one she found. We came home with a buggy full of them.  My girls also love birds!  It was a treat that we found that bird house with a whole bunch of them nesting in it. Sophia likes birdhouses cuz she got one once as a door prize at the family reunion and it hangs on our front porch. Think she is going to be a collector when she gets older. A trait she must get from Dear Granny.  The girls are very friendly and wave to each passing car and jogger and puppy dog. It was a fun walk except for when the road got busy with cars.  I started to get very nervous.  We will have to do tons more of these walks but earlier in the day when trafic is not so heavy.

Also yesterday I met a new neighbor that just moved into J~Land.  Let's all send over the welcome wagon to Red over at  (click blinkie)  She just started her blog and is excited about becoming apart of our community. So go visit her and leave your journal link for her.  Like many of our spouses, hers thinks she is crazy for wanting a journal where everyone and anyone can just come along and read it, our silly husbands, they just dont understand lol.  BTW Josh read mine lastnight and went back like 2months of posts!  He laughed and he cried. There was one post I had forgotten about that I did not want him to read but you know he read it anyways but it was ok, he said he was not mad at me for what I had said, it was all stuff that was in the past.  So so much for false security, thinking he never reads this thing. lol

Monday, March 29, 2004

My new desk!!

I love it! What a wonderful husband I have! Yes, he is very handy with his hands *evil grin* lol

The one and only thing I am disapointed with and its totaly my fault, is that my mirror doesnt have a better place on it.  If I had told him the mesurments before I got it he could of made a space for it, thats what I get for shopping in secret. So for now untill I figure out a better spot for it, it is behind the scanner.  The girls love it cuz its right at eye view for them and as they pass it they see themselves in it and wave. Very cute.  Tell me what you all think of it!  : )

PS  Thanks to all who have been praying for my friends I had posted about. Keep praying.

Saturday, March 27, 2004

Urgent Prayer request

My friend Amy called me this morning.  Her cousin had committed suicide lastnight.  Please pray for her family.  Her Aunt's name is Ann.  She is not of good health as it is and the docotors had told her to avoid stress at all costs because of her heart condition. Ann is a very devout Catholic so I am sure she is thinking her son is in Hell right now.  He may very well be for I don't know if he was a Christian or not. I always say though, We never know what happens the very last seconds before death.  He may of very well called out to the Lord and is with him.  Pray for this hurting family, they are very angery and upset.  Suicide is very selfish, it hurts everyone who is left behind.  He had children too.  It is too late to pray for the one who killed himself, all his choices have been made, but pray for comfort for this family and that some how God will have some good come from what is ment for harm.  Thank you friends.


I just figured out how to add pics from hometown to my journal entries. kewl.

Spring is in the air

After Sophia's bath yester day I trimmed her bangs just a smidge and Josh was the one to sujest piggie tails.  Very cute!!  If she would only leave them in!  Next is some of our landscaping.  All of it was here when we moved in. The other day I noticed those very pertty flowers blooming!  I have no idea what kind they are, I DIDNT plant them lol but I love them.  As you can see from the pics we need to re-mulch in our front yard area and tend to some old growth.  Last year the yard just bloomed on its own and it will be cool to see what comes again this year.  I did try to plant some small seeds on the side area by the mud room but it didnt yeild much.  And that garden area was already there, we tried to do some stuff with it but we are not much of gardners and perty much let it get over grown and the bunnies had at it.  I have visions of what I would like for our yard to look like (and it doesnt include that dumb sled) but we have noooo money to put into it and no way will the LandLord pitch in.  Yikes, our basement flooded again, it is like a river down there.  Good thing we had most of the stuff picked up from when it did it last month.

Tonight we are having homegroup Bible study at our house.  So Josh has resolved to put up my new desk by tonight.  Soooooo he is taking the computer down and this is my last entry before he does that.  I have a feeling it wont get hooked right back up.  If I am away for any prolonged time I am hoping to do some voice entries by phone. If that happens I wont be able to read your comments but if you send a copey of them to my e-mail I can have them read to me over the phone. IF AOL BY PHONE IS WORKING that is.  So hopfuly my next post will be with before and after pics of my new desk area.  Talk with you all soon

Friday, March 26, 2004


He misses home so much. AND WE MISS HIM. My Pastor talks with him regularly too and sends him tapes from church and sometimes money.  That is the main thing he misses is a good church, he hasnt found one out there yet. OH but he evangilizes the whole school and every where he goes he tells ppl about Jesus.  He has told me storys about him praying for ppl on the bus and talking with others, he amazes me sometimes. 

Well lastnight I got a call from my Pastor and then later from Riley himself.  Aparntly he has not been taking care of himself and I want to slap him for it.  First of all, he hasnt been eating like he should and not taking his diabeties meds for like 3 weeks. He just tells me this. Yesterday he wound up in the hospital.  He fell or walked into a wall, he doesnt remember what happen. He lost time from the moring to the time he got to the hospital. He had to get stiches over his eye.  His blood presure was up and his sugar low.  They are keeping him a few days and then hopfuly he will come home to STL.  I was so upset that I couldnt talk and handed josh the phone as I cried.  I love him so much but he can be so stubern.  He needs to take better care of himself.  So please keep him in prayer friends. 


Like I had said, Riley was just recently fully blind.  His sight had been going for some time but he went into total darkness the November before we met.  He had been to The School For The Blind out in Co to learn independant living skills and how to deal with it, so he could take care of him self very well.  He has a big pride issue where he does not like to ask for help for anyting, he would rather starve first then to ask for food or walk into a wall before having some one tell him where to go.  He was kinda a know it all lol but I sitll love him. Sometimes it's hard being younger than him, cuz of my age I know he doesnt think much of what I say about some things. But we talk freely about things and playfuly smack (verbal) each other around.  Keeping eachother in check and just having fun reading the Bible and spending time with each other.  I fully belive God is going to one day heal his sight.  There have been some times when he has seen glimpses here and there, where the docs say its phicosymatic, but He has never seen Sophia, yet he could describe in detail what she was wearing and what she looked like.  BTW Sophia is one of his faves. he loves her to no end cuz she will just climb up into his lap and love on him and play with him.  But he loves all my kids.  He even taught Annie how to read some brail and she loves it that she knows something like that.  Well at the end of last summer he decieded he wanted to go back to school and learn about computers and some more advanced independant living things.  So tearfuly we said see you later as he left for Littleton CO.  He knows ppl there too so it wasnt going to be so lonely for him, plus the school is suposed to be real good.  He has been back for Thanksgiving and Christmass so its not like we havnt got to see him and we talk on the phone, not as often as I would like but we keep intouch.  He has had some other health issues and so he had been planning to come home over Easter so he could see his doctors here.  We have been excited about that.  More later..

My Brother Riley

Riley holds a special place in my heart as do I in his.  We have been in eachothers lives going on two years now but he is part of my family.  Grandfather figure to my kids but like older brother to Josh and Me.  Or younger brother in Christ you could say lol.  I met Riley at a bbq one of our old neighbors was holding, they dragged Riley out of his apartment and made him be socsial.  At the time he was a new neighbor, he kept to himself and you know we just couldnt have that.  He had just gone completly blind after having deteriating eyesight for many years.  At the BBQ I  just sat by him and listioned to his old stories, he is a very intresting person who has lived a hard life but with many cool stories to tell. When I first met him, I automaticly want to just go up to him and lay hands on him and start to pray for him, but held back that feeling because we just met and didnt want to freak him out.I was also kinda a young Christian too and not as bold as I think I could be now. But ofcourse the conversatin turned to Christ, with me it always seems to. When he said he didn't realy know who he was, that he remebers mostly his church from his childhood talking OT and not NT. WHAT KIND OF CHURCH WAS THAT LOL.  So I told him well If you want some time I will just read you the gospels and you can see for yourself.  Few weeks after that I was reading him John and then Mattew.  It was good for me and him.  I was getting to spend some time with someone during the day and my kids loved him, and he was getting to hear God's Word and decied for himself, with out anyone telling him what to think. Then I took him to a Wednesday service at church and he fell in love with everyone there.  He said he had visited many churches over the years but non like mine, everyone was so loving and caring, you really felt welcomed and like family he said. I was prilaged to be the one to lead him in prayer to recive the Lord. It was one of the most wonderful days of my life to hear him say YES to Jesus, Yes He belived every word read to him, that he belived Jesus died for him, that he could be forgiven, and saved.That he acepted him as his Lord and that he wanted to grow closer to him and follow him. A year later he was baptized, same day as my daughter Annie I may add.   Contined....

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Eye Strain lol

Did you know if you look at blinkies all night and all day long you will get eye strain?  Especialy if you are not wearing your glasses. lol JK!  Yes I have been working on another page. It is sooooooo frustrating when AOL Hometown freezes up and you havnt saved what you was working on! Cuz you loose what is not saved.  My advice when creating webpages, especilay alot with pics in them is to first load all the pics up in to your images file and then save your work every ten mins or so in case of a malfuntion.  LOL I can see each blinkie on my sight but I dont seem them as pics anymore but  as file names. I am on a roll but think I better chill a bit on making webpages and I think I may have to create another screen name for the space.  I noticed that my file folder for webpages is starting to take a reallllll long time to load, that is bad for a dsl connection, so I think my space on that screen name may be full.  My latest blinkie page is on Blinkie Love and Flowers.

Josh came home yesterday from work cuz he got rained out.  He had extra engery so he decieded to start to clean out the garage! OMG the shock lol he has been saying he was going to do that for over a year now.  So he got into boxes and alot of stuff is from when we was kids, old pics, old writtings, and old love letters.  He asked if I wanted to keep my old love letters from a certan bf I had. I said na, only the ones from you baby, thought I had thrown all those out in our last move. But inside of me I was screaming NOOOOo they are apart of who I used to be. LOL But I let them go and they are gone now.  I had a ton of letters from this perticular bf because he was always in juvinal jail or real jail lol.  But today I did find a folder in my closet with some letters and pics he had sent me.  I am thinking of putting some of them up on my other journal on my other screen name.  So if you are intrested in reading silly teen love letters, go find my other journal.  I started it a while ago to explore some stuff about my past, didntr realy pimp it out so its not a very read journal.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Another Talented J~Lander

Over at Lifes Lessions she has shown us some of her talent with penil drawing.  Truely wonderful.  Kicking around the idea, depending on how much she would charge, comissioning her to do one of my children together.  Mothers day is coming up : ) And I deserve it right!  My kids aren't getting any smaller ya know and it would be cool to get one of them at this time. Man Zane is 9, Annie just turn 7, Lilly just turned 4 and Sophia's 3rd birthday is in July.  My babies are not really babies anymore.

I like this Life Lessions cuz she lives in Milwaukee Wis. and reading her journal here and there is like a visit home.

My Collection

I have been a  !!  My blinkie obsession has gone to new highs lol.  The last week I have been out blinkie hunting, snaging, adopting and then an even bigger task, catigorizing them all and grouping them on my hard drive.  LOL You wouldnt believe all the folders I have dedicated to blinkies.  I have food blinkies, Home & Family blinkies, Movies, Music, Blonde & Bithcy, God and More God Blinkies, USA Patriotic, Holidays, Computer Lingo Blinkies, Blinkie love Blinkies, Journal and Blog blinkies, oh and ofcourse Bee Blinkies. I have resigned myself into making webpages to show off my collection and to use for blogging so I wont do the dreaded dirct link from other ppls sites.  I am not sure if aol web pages have a bandwith thing but it is my understanding that ppl off aol that have webpages are charged for bandwith and if you direct link a pic from thier sight it coast mucho.  I have made two Christian Blinkies pages a few months ago but I have so much more now that I am sure I could make two more pages just for Christian Blinkies.  Here are my current ones if you havnt seen them before, Christian Blinkies1 & 2.  Here are the ones I am current working on under my other screen name so I could keep the ftp space open on this one. MyBlinkieCollection1 (work in progress) and My Bee Collection.  The Bee one is perty much done I think.    Hint, If you see blinkies you like, feel free to right click and save as to your hard drive, or direct link for all I care.  But it is very important if you go off Blinkie hunting that you do not direct link off of others pages, right click if they give permission and often ppl like to have a link back to thier site if you are using thier blinkies.  I should of done the link back but I have collect so many and at the time I hadnt planed on making webpages so I did not keep track of where I got them all.  Hundreds of webpages and talanted artists have contributed to my collection. 

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Jesus said, "I AM the Door" - John 10:7,9

John 10:7 Then said Jesus unto them again, Verily, verily, I say unto you, I am the door of the sheep.   9 I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture      

                                                .Ever feel like you are locked out, the doors are all closed for you, you just can't reach God no matter how much you have tried?  You have tried all other things to fill that void in you and are still not satisfied? Pet projects, hard works don't do anything for you, Drugs don't fill it, Sex doesn't, Food wont, false religion filled with works wont either.  Some think there is a pearly gate blocking the entrance to heaven with a bouncer sitting there named Peter.  Some think to get to God you have to go threw a man and work and try real hard to be perfect. Fact is only Threw Jesus can you be satisfied. Only Threw Jesus can you see the Father. Mohammed didn't die for you, Buddha didn't, Gandhi didn't, "mother earth" didn't.  Only Jesus was pierced for your transgressions and nailed to the cross and died and arose again on the third day. All others before and after him could never do such a thing, they did not rise from the dead and become glorified.  Jesus said he is the Door, go threw him and have rest, find pastures that will satisfy your hungry soul.  Knock and he will open.  He is sitting there now at the door of your heart, tapping and waiting for you to respond.  Will you open it and find a new life or will you keep it shut and locked tight and find yourself locked out of heaven?

Monday, March 22, 2004

You can understand scripture threw Jesus, ask him! see previous post for vers.

Many pepeople don't read the Bible and say, I can't understand it, too confusing.  I used to be one of those people.  But if you ask Jesus to open your mind, your eyes and your heart, he will and you will be able to understand.  The Old and New Testiment.  I have also heard people say I don't need to read the Bible, I just have to listion to the message preached at church or on TV.  Now that is scarry.  You have to read the scriptures yourself, so you know when you are hearing Truth and when Someone is lieing.  And infact, the gift of the HolySpirit is your teacher, he will lead you into all truth, he will be your teacher and your guide.  Yes we have been given men who are teachers, but the HolySpirit is to lead you and that teacher. And if that teacher is saying anything contrary to what the Bible says, he his teaching a lie.

Jesus opened eyes to understand scriptures because in the OT there are all sorts of scriptures about his coming and who he is and he wants you to see and have conficance in him. Also scriptures is one of God's ways of comunicating with us, it tells us what he requires of us, how he feels about us and who he is and his charter. I like to think of it as a big love letter written with passion for me, words put down thousands a years ago but still God has me in mind when he authored it and his Word aplys to these times as well has the past.  A close walk with him requires you read his Word, just as a close relationship with a spouce requires you talking with eachother. Make his words live in you, abide in you.  Think on them always, sing of them, write them all around your home.  This is no ordinary book, it is the Word Of God.  If you are longing for a relationship with God and want to understand him and your place, the Bible is the best place to start.  Ask, and it shall be given. Seek and you shall find. Knock and it will be open to you.  That is a Promise!

Jesus opens the mind to understand scripture - Luke 24:45 & Gives HolySpirit Acts1

Lu 24:44-49 And he said unto them, These are the words which I spake unto you, while I was yet with you, that all things must be fulfilled, which were written in the law of Moses, and in the prophets, and in the psalms, concerning me.Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures,And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behoved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day:And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.And ye are witnesses of these things. And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.

Acts 2:1-4 And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting.And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

100 Truths

Ironic.  I had planned this post the other day and then I read Kara's Post about 100 Things about herself today.  My post wasn't going to be about myself but about Jesus.  Over a year ago I made a website called 100 Truths About Jesus, where there are a hundred scriptures about who he is and what he claimed. I dont take credit for compiling this list of scriptures, I got it in an e-mail but I have gone over just about everyone of them.  Recently I updated it with Pics from the Passion, I snaged while doing a blinkie search. I love blinkies and do a search about once a month or so for new ones.  I have two webpages full of Christian ones but I have soooooooo many more that it would be alomost imposible to put them all up.  I am thinking of doing a few blinkie pages under my other screen name for the space.

I hope aol by phone will be up again on the 24th as promised or for sure I am canceling it.  I wanted to do a voice entry sooo bad about these scriptures. Anyways check out the updated site with the new pics.  One is at the top, that is Potius Pilate from the movie, he is tripping out cuz He just had a conversation with Jesus about Truth and asking his wife, How do you know Truth when it is spoken to you? In the movie she replys with "You just know it when it is but some ppl refuse to hear truth". Then if you scroll all the way to the bottom of the web page is a Pic of Mary Magdalin with the caption "Sins Forgiven."  This was taken from a flash back sceen in the movie where Jesus told a crowd "He who is with out sin cast the first stone" and after they all dropped their stones he told Mary, "get up, you are forgiven, go and sin no more".  Over the next few weeks I hope to do some posts about these scriptures and about the movie.  It has been two weeks Monday since I have seen this movie and at times I am full of things to write about from it and other times I want to run from it and push it all back because it can be so over whelming.  I want and dont want to go and see it again.  I am sure there are many things I missed from the first viewing.  But you know how hard it is for me to get out to the movies with no sitters.  So go check out the site and tell me what you think.

Friday, March 19, 2004

The G.S. Own My Butt!!!

I am sooo screwed!  Yet again Sophia got up and snuck into the kitchen, in the pitch dark mind you, and opened up ANOTHER box of cookies that was destiend for customers!  Josh got up this morning and found her on the couch with them, sleeping with her arm around the box and a cookie in hand.  Double Duch this time, last time it was the Trifoils.  TOLD HIM HE SOULD OF TOOK A PIC!  I would of used it all her life lol.  Our butts are in debt to the GS for well over $100 in cookies and money is due tomorrow.  So I have to explain to this customer who has been waiting and waiting with mouth watering for her Double Duch cookies, that my kid is a cookie monster and that will be another $3 we owe.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

March is Women's History Month! Did you know..

  • Susan B. Anthony is most famous for fighting for the right to vote for women. What she is not known for is her strong pro-life views. She called abortion "child murder."

    The following quotes are in regards to abortion:
    "We want prevention, not merely punishment. We must reach the root of the evil... It is practiced by those whose inmost souls revolt from the dreadful deed."

    "All the articles on this subject that I have read have been from men. They denounce women as alone guilty, and never include men in any plans for the remedy." 

    "I deplore the horrible crime of child murder."


    I know I have made you wait lol evil grin jk

    As if you all have been hanging by the edge of your seat, just waiting for me to post and respond to um, that comment in my comment section lol  Ya I know it may seem like I have been slacking on my jouranl dueties.  I have got such a busy life dont ya know. NOT, but I have become hooked to scrable at  and I have been trying to get these girlscout cookies out of my kitchen and to thier customers And get in touch with the troop about the God and Me classes that start on Monday AND plan and get together Annie and Lilly's B-day party for this Sat.  Josh said I nagged so much about it that he was going to leave it to me, then after I did the work of doing the invites and the calls, he takes the fun part away from me, shopping for it.  NOT like I was going to go all out, I know we cant aford that but I do have a big gift squirled away for Annie but we still need one for Lilly.  We are just having icecream and cake and maybe if weather pending some back yard games.  Yes pin the tail on the donkey and I was wishing for a pinata, but Josh doesnt seem to think we can even aford that, and we got into a tiff over it all.  I can papermashy you know, we just need the stuff to fill it.  But we are neck deep in debt to the GS for cookies and his hours are still ify, plus you know, ugh bills. We feel bad as it is, Annie has been to like 3 parties this year and they have been fancy ones like skate parites and tumbledrum.  We can't even get her a store bought cake, we are making it ourselves. This is something Josh insits on for every birthday, he dosnt see the sence in buy one when a mix is so cheap. My very fav kid cake from my childhood was a BigBird Head Cake.  I just want to create some special memories for my girls, nothing fancy but special.  OK now I am deprest, shesh. And Ya I know, some of that stuff doesnt matter, they wont care, its mostly me.

    Tuesday, March 16, 2004

    G.S. and Planned Parenthood?! Part 2 read 1 first.

    Ok so I am concerned about my local concil and send an e-mail to the public realtons person, the e-mail address I got off of my local concils website (btw no info on this issue on its site or the national's site) My e-mail:

    Unsure who to ask this question I am getting from mom's in my troop.  There has been some recent media coverage about G. S. being partnered up with Planed Parenthood.  Is our local Council of The Greater Saint Louis Area at all involved with Planned Parenthood or funded by them?  Your replay and any help you can give on this question is appreciated.Her reply:The Girl Scout Council of Greater St. Louis does not collaborate with Planned Parenthood, nor does it fund Planned Parenthood. The Girl Scout Council of Greater St. Louis is not an advocacy organization.And she gives her number if I have further questions.That did not answer my question in any way! Did I word my e-mail in a way that was not clear? Maybe?  But I was asking if Planned Parenthood provided funds in anyway to us and what other involment they may have.  Looks like she pussy-footed around it to me.  So ofcourse I will have to make some calls on this.  But I have an uneasy feeling, and thinking this will be the last year my family is involved with the GirlScouts.  Oh I also found this on the web:STOPP international is taking the guess work out of this situation for concerned parents by contacting every Girl Scout council in the country seeking clarification on their relationship, if any, with Planned Parenthood. This information will be compiled into a comprehensive list that will be released to the public during the week of April 5. Information regarding a council's relationship with Planned Parenthood can be e-mailed to

    G.S. and PlannedParenthood?! part 1

    Ok we all remember back that thing going on in Texas with a boycot of GS cookies because of the local council's connection with Planned Parenthood?  And You know how these two organizions are like hot botton issues for me. For one I LOVE SCOUTS, I was one as a girl and now my daughter is one and I am a leader.  And second, I HATE yes HATE, Planned Parenthood, the #1 Abortion provider in America.  So today I was doing some more reading on this subject and appaled with what I found.

    Kathy Cloninger, CEO of the Girl Scouts of America, appeared on NBC's "Today" show Friday morning to discuss the boycott."The Girl Scouts in Waco, Texas, really made a decision based on local community context, they decided that in this particular situation that it would be in the best interest of girls and their families to discontinue the relationship with Planned Parenthood," said Cloninger.

    Parents were upset to learn that the local Girl Scout organization had given a 'woman of distinction award' last year to a Planned Parenthood executive. And they were disturbed to find out that the Girl Scout organization has been giving its endorsement for years to a Planned Parenthood sex-ed program in which girls and boys are given literature on homosexuality, masturbation and condoms

    Monday, March 15, 2004

    Sending Hollywood a message

    It is harder and harder to enjoy going out to the movies as a Christian. Face it there is mostly just filth being put out, even the ones being marketed as family movies, Cat In The Hat, for example.  One of many reasons I wanted to see The Passion Of The Christ in the theater was to send a message, I WANT TO SEE MORE MOVIES MADE LIKE THIS ONE. Letting my money speak.  And reading this article it seems like some maybe.

    "You can't ignore those numbers," said Mark During the weekend the film took in another $31.6 million, increasing the total box office to $264 million in nearly three weeks, according to Exhibitor Relations, which tracks ticket sales. Johnson, a veteran film producer. "You can't say it's just a fluke. There's something to be read here."

    I for one think Mel Gibbson should be blessed with what ever he takes in from making this movie.  After all, no one wanted to make this movie and he put his own money into it.  I will write more on this movie.  It has been a week since I have seen it and I am still soaking in what God wants me to get from it.

    Sunday, March 14, 2004

    been a few days

    I know its been a few days since my last entry.  I havnt fallen off the face of the World Wide Web. lol  I have been wanting to do an entry about The Passion and have been mulling it all over in my head.  Each day I come up with something new.  This is a powerful movie that sticks with you for a life time. Definatly not engh charter limit here. Promise I will write in lenth about it this week. Also the last of our company left Sat and we had a busy day today between church and eating over at the in-laws.  You would think the weekend is for resting up for the coming week right? lol  Seems like the weekends slip away so fast and Monday comes too soon.  This week I have to finish delivering all the cookies with Annie and pick up stuff for April Showers, also Josh is suposed to plan Annie and Lilly's b-day party for Sat and I know he hasnt put any thought into it.  No invites have gone out yet either.  He has forbidden me doing anything cuz he thinks I will over spend.  This week I also have to get our yard cleaned, fold a ton of laundry, figure out how we are going to live off of $2 in the bank account till Thursday, start to transcribe the messages from the last 2 months of church (promised I would do that and need to get on that project).  I know these are all just little things that add up, and they arn't too bad in the sceam of things. Not complaining, just trying to put it down to help me remember not to sit on my tushie all week.

    Thursday, March 11, 2004

    But it feels so right, how can it be wrong. Sometimes the heart does lie if it listions to lies.

    Years back, when I was not a Christian, I had cheated on my husband.  It was some one who lived far from us and it was while I was visiting family. He was a "friend" from where I used to work and we went out and partied and well, the smoking and drinking played a part in it.  I in no way had true feellings for him, but to justify what I did I made some up in my head.  At this time Josh and I was not perfect, we had just been newly married a few years and he worked ALOT. I was very lonely and felt like he only wanted sex when it was convinet for him.  So in my head I let the relationship bloosim with this other guy and yaaday yadday.  I could of let it go on from that just one night stand.  But I felt such guilt, I couldnt eat or sleep, I must of lost like 10 pounds.  I could not hold in what I did from my husband and I prepared myself to tell him. I even made plans to move out incase he threw me out. I would of left him and my two kids at the time for this other guy. When I told my husband about it all he was ofcourse broken! But he did not want me to leave, he wanted to stick it out, it would be too easy to let me go.  We made up and closed that chapter in our life. Not that my lonelyness went away overnight, but my wondering eye did. Eventaly we both came  to Christ and made him apart of our marrage and we have never been the same since. I can say we are more in love now than we was when we first said our vows.  I look back now and am ashamed of that time but also thankful that we stayed together.  Think of all we would of missed out if we had broken up.  The devil did have a foot hold there for some time later but we have broken threw that and there is trust and love.  Why am I telling you all this now? Because I see a friend in J~Land heading for distruction.  I see Satan robbing her and her family.  I see her making bad choices and heading down the same path I could of gone in.  I understand her position, and I know that restoration can be made.  Any thing worth having and keeping is worth fighting for.  And I also feel for her husband who she is doing all this behind his back.  I am not throwing stones for I am not with out sin. But oh how my heart aches seeing her going down this path and I have to think how much more God's heart is breaking over this professing Christian Women.

    Marcy's visit

    Just got done putting these pics on You'v Got Pictures and sent some out to my mom and aunt.  Ofcourse I had to share with you all, my closets friends lol.  This is from last weekend when my sister Marcy was here Sat & Sun.  I love all her kids.  This was the first time I got to meet in person the twins.  They are only 4 months, shessh took way too long for me to see them lol.  How I wish I could get Marcy to move her tribe down here by us.  I wish I could do more as an Auntie for them but it is soo hard when we live so far apart and I am terrible about Christmas and Birthday cards. So is Marcy I may add, another thing we picked up from MOM lol I got my Birthday card from mom 4 weeks late.

    Also in these pics is Annie and Lilly opening gifts from Marcy and gifts I got for them with a gift card Mom had sent(I will give her that, we got that on their birthdays)  That is just a taste of what they will be getting for thier birthdays.  Thier big party is planned for March 20th.  Josh has banned me from planning it, he thinks I will spend too much on it. So he said he would take care of it all.  So if it is all a flop, the girls can look back while in therapy and blame him for thier messed up 7th and 4th birthday lol jk.

    How was I so Blessed to marry into a family such as this part 1

    Josh's family has always been a big contrast to my family.  It always seemed to be the joke between us that my family was the white trash and his was the perfect.  He will say he never joked liked that and his family has issues as much as mine does.  So needless to say I have had a bit of resentment that his family was the bright white picture of perfect and mine was the poster child for drama queens.  If you look on his side of the tree, everyone is sucseful in thier choosen fields, have a good home, lovely, look on my side and we have a bunch of drunks and drug addicts, welfair mommas.  His family has always been nothing but nice to me and welcome me with arms open and a smile.  I used to think this was not geniune and that maybe I was just being tolarted cuz I married thier Joshie.  You know how ppl can smile at you but in your head underneath you think they are judging you and thinking the worst?

    How was I so blessed to marry into such a family as this?part 2

    This trip and the funeral has totaly changed my perception of atlest this side of his family.  They are a strong family like I said before and are holding up good with Granny's passing.  They really love eachother and would do what ever they could to help each other out.  There was no bickering over Granny's earthy possions that you can expect to happen in other familys.  It was even offered that all travel expences be paid back out of her estate.  I almost got tiered of hearing all the praise about my children and how well behavied they are and how we are doing such a good job with them.  Every year there is a family reunion but mostly the older folks go and we are talking of having one each year at differnt locations so our children have a chance in knowing eachother and we can remain close.  I got to know some of Josh's cousins and feel like they are friends I have missed out on having!  This family has made me feel apart of them as if I was born into thier side of the tree.  At the funeral we got a chance to speak of our found memories of Dorthy and I had to get up and say my part, on how she loved us and tended us like we was her garden given to her from God and she planted seeds of his love into us and prayed for us.  How she in her little way played a part in my conversion to Christ. and a few other things that I cant remember, I hadn't planed on speaking but it was on my heart.  They really apresheated all I said and hugged and kissed on me.  LOL I was even called some one's new fav niece in law.

    Wednesday, March 10, 2004

    Worn OUT

    I have done more since Friday than I think I would do normaly in a month!  I am numb, worn out, yet I have a million things swirling around in my head.  So much has happen these last few days I have been off line.  I have so much to say and I am sure I will spend the next week writting about it all.

    This weekend was jamed packed with family from out of town,  babies, sleeplessness, emotions, faith, tears, laughes, anger, relief, new friends.  On top of my sister coming into town for a visit and bringing her new twins, we had the funeral to go to out of town. Josh's little sis came from Vegas and family from all over came.  It was a very emotional event but this family is strong.  AND on top of that Monday, the day of the funeral, that evening we went to go see The Passion Of The Christ.  Wow you know that has to be a separate post. When will all the beta stuff be availbe for us normal journalers? lol Cuz I need more room!  As I said I am worn out, just thought I would catch up a bit with you all.  I will have a more detailed post coming soon.  I know I need to catch up with my friends Journals and I plan to soon.  Being home is good, but alas I cant rest.

    Friday, March 5, 2004

    My Purpose Driven Life Journal a must read..

    IT ALWAYS HAPPENS ALL AT ONCE.. Granny we will miss you.

    We have gotten a ton of rain here in the Saint Louis area the last few days.  I am trying to prepare for my little sister's visit this weekend and I had a ton of cleaning to do and also the GS cookies to mess with.  Then cuz of all the rain my basement flooded and it is a big mess down there. Kara you'v seen the pics of my laundry pile so you can imagin lol. Needless to say, alot of work had to be done today and I am thankful Josh didnt have work today and my friend Amy offered to help out.  Then this morning in the mist of all our goings on, I got a tearful call from Josh's mom.  Granny, Josh's grandma died this morning. She has had some health problems these last few years and this morning she was at the doc's cuz of some pain she was having, durning a test she passed away.  So we are all mourning over here.  Please keep us in prayer. Dorthy was a special lady. And as Josh put it to the kids, we can be sad cuz we will miss her, but we should be happy because she is with Jesus, the best place of all.  She was a strong Christian and I know she prayed for years for our conversion and it was a joy for her when we finaly came to Jesus.  I remember that she gave our kids thier first Veggie Tale movie (before we became Christians) and watching it with them helped plant seeds.  She was a blessed women with many grandchildren and greatgrandchildren.  That is what I look forward to when I am old, to have all the grandkids around and love on them and plant seeds of God's love into them like Dorthy did for us.

    So as you can see I have a busy weekend ahead of me.  I will probly be offline the whole time.  I will try and catch up when I can.

    What if she kept a blog?

    She was a mom, lover,friend, princess, humanI am guilty.  I watched that show last night with the tapes of Diana talking of her personal life.  I have mixed feelings, for one she was an icon to many and many are still mourning over her, is the release of these tapes only for profit or is it to help us all understand.  I understand she made those tapes becuase she needed to get out what was insider, she had to break out of her prision. She wanted to world to see she was human like us all, she was a mother, wife, friend, and her private life was anything but perfect.  Many of us blog/journal because we too have this need, to get out of us our private thoughts. To show the world there is more to us then what is seen on the surface.  To have free say of our feelilngs, opinons, belifes, our life in words and pictures.  Even if no one reads our blog, it is stil there in print, documented and released from our spirit.  I don't know if she kept a paper journal but it would of been cool if she kept a blog, even if it was under a differnt name. She needed that release and a pitty she saw herself so poorly.  She was so loved.  Are we also like that? Only seeing the neg of ourselves and not the possitve others see in us?

    Thursday, March 4, 2004

    Bush Campaign Ads Show Sept. 11 Images

    And it begins!  All the attacks and fun political junk that makes every 4 years something to look forward to. (sarcastic here)

    Have you guys seen these ads?  Just wondering what you all thought of them, setting aside who you are going to vote for, if your guy was running or is running ads such as this what would you think? I would like to know what those have to say in the NY area.  Some intresting quotes from the news article..

     Bernard Kerik, the former New York police commissioner who lost 23 officers that day, said Bush has every right to use the images to show his leadership abilities just as Kerry has used footage of his military service in Vietnam in his ads.

    Harold Schaitberger, the firefighter union's president, said: "We're not going to stand for him to put his arm around one of our members on top of a pile of rubble at Ground Zero during a tragedy and then stand by and watch him cut money for first responders.' The union gave Kerry an early endorsement in the presidential race.


      Well, she's not a baby anymore, but she is still my baby.  My daughter AnnMarie turns 7 today!  Can't hardly believe how fast that came up.  Lilly's birthday is Monday and she will be 4yrs old.  I will work on the picture montoze of them and post it here soon.  I did it for Zane and made a slide show movie with music for his b-day, so ofcourse they expect me to do the same for them : )

    G.S. cookies came in yesterday and I have a whole kitchen full of them!  Annie took two boxes of thin mints in for her birthday treat for her class.  My friend Amy is coming over today to help me separate them for delivery.  My sister Marcy is coming this weekend and bringing her baby twins with (finaly get to see them!) so this puts a kink in me and Annie deliverying the cookies this weekend, but we have till the 20th to get it all done.

    Yes I did see that artical about the GS in Texas breaking ties with Planned Parenthood. I heard of it before today but thanks Netta for sending it to me anyways.  As a rule in G.S.when we are in uniform and under that title we are not to associate publicly under any politcal party.  It is very obvious to me what political party supports Pland Parenthood, so I can say it was right for them to break ties with that buisness.  I have to ask and see if my local GS Council is tied to them. If we are I would be very upset.  I want nothing to do with them, and you all know my feelings on abortion.  They are one of the biggest abortion mills around here and it makes me sick that GS, an orginaztion that promotes the health and welfair of girls would be tied to them.  Abortion is NOT Safe, Is NOT rare, and I would not recomend it for any girl or women.  I go out of my way NOT to support companys that support Planed Parenthood.

    Anyways this is a day of celebration of the Life of my daughter, who by the way I had when I was 20, poor, in school, married but only for 9months, yep folks she was concived on the honymoon. lol


    Wednesday, March 3, 2004

    Funny how these quizes can be so right! lol

    What Star Trek Race are YOU?

    You're a Human!

    "Don't feel sorry for me, I havn't lost my Hope" he says

    Praying for a miricle

    I know we are not going to understand everything in the here and now.  I know God has a purpose for each of us and a plan for our life.  We never know when our days will end, but it is apointed unto man once to die and then the judgement.  I also know that not everyone is going to go to heaven, not everyone accepts that love from God, not everyone is choosen.  Oh everyone is called but few take up that call.  I know Jesus said he will not loose one that has been give to him by the Father.  He will do what ever it takes.  Some may see a sickness as a horrible thing, but if the end result of that is your faith is established in God, it causes you to call out to him and hope in only him, it was worth the hurts.  I have seen the most stubern of hearts turn to God because of a major life catasopher, and also seen him work on hearts with only seeds of love, either way it is him who does all the work.  What will it take for you?  What will it take for him to not loose you?  The hard way or the easy way?  Will you see him working in your life and still reject him?  Time is running short, not today or tomororw, but soon, you will have to choose who you serve and who your hope is in.

    Tuesday, March 2, 2004

    Just one person touched by the moive THE PASSION OF CHRIST

    Donnetta's reaction to THE PASSION OF CHRIST.

    I had to link her here and encourage all to read her post about this movie.  You can see how effected she was by it, how this movie has helped God's Love click with her.  It is just so awesome to see God moving in peoples lives, I know this was just a movie, but he uses many things to call out to us, draw us to him. Like I said before there was indeed a power out there that did not want people to see this movie.  In my comment to her post I said, If just one person saw it and Got It like she did, it was worth all the millions spent to make it.

    I can't wait to see this movie.

    My Mirror! Personized Just for me!

    I can now say I own a Nadine Orginal!! Arn't you evenious of me? lol  She will be more than happy to make you one for around $35-45 plus shipping.  I love it and consider it well worth the money I spent.  This chick is going to be famous oneday, I envision her having stores all over the country.  She is very talanted. lol There Nadine, did I pimp you out engh?? lol Just Kidding!

    Orginaly when I decied to order one of her creations I thought I would get some little mirror for my new desk Josh is making me.  When I got it out of the box I saw it was much bigger than I had in my head.  I don't think it will fit on the desk, but we will see, the desk isnt done yet.  I had to have purple in the mirror and it had to have my screen name, honeybees and flowers was just a given.  I like the added touch of the sun on it, makes me think of The SON and to look to above.  For now, until I figure out where to put the wonderful peice of art it will go in my china hutch so the kids dont break it.  Don't pay any attention to the pics with me in it.  I look horrible.  My complection is all broke out, sigh, I used to have such a lovely one, should of listion when ppl told me to take care of it. Maybe when I can afford it I will go try some of Donetta's beauty stuff.

    Attempt # 5335 part 1 of 2

    I have wrote this entry like 3 times now and just before I could save the power flikered here at the house and shut the computer down and it was lost. Then this morning the journal wouldn't let me click on add new entry. So here we go again, and uggg it frustrates me that AOL by phone is still down.

    I had to eat humble pie Sunday.  I had to ask a friend to forgive me cuz I was just not acting right.  It all started back in December when I was part of the planning for GS neighborhood holiday party.  I was in charge with helping decorate.  Back when my older two was in Head Start I did alot of vollunteer work and made many friends and one of them was Sue. A project we worked on together was a fundraiser using pics with Santa.  Sue had her ex-husband build this realy awesome sleigh for Santa (Josh played Santa that year) to sit in for the pics.  So I asked her if I could use it for this GS event.  It was no problem as long as I could get it back and forth.  I have moved away from her and its a good 25 min drive.Neither of us had a truck so it took some doing for me to find one to use. At the last min I was able to find someone to pick up from her house and bring it to mine and then to the event with the little detail of how to get it back to Sue left hanging.

    Part 2 of 1

    Well that was way back in Dec. It's what March now?! and this sleigh has been sitting in front of my house since.  It worked well as decorations but now it Spring. Sue has been hounding me for two months to get it back to her and I am so sorry I havnt been able to. I am truck-challanged.She starts to get upset(rightly so) and get angry about the whole thing so I start avoiding her calls,Call ID.But with each avoided call, I started to careless and a pang of guilt would plauge me that I would stuff down. This is not like me at all usualy, but I was letting the Devil get a foothold in my life, see what happens! Last Friday Sue had her ex call me and say he would come and get it and I was happy, then the whole mess would be done with! Josh encouraged me to call Sue (he doesnt like her much but he could even see how terrible of a friend I was being) and I dug my heels in saying no and avoided it. Then you know Convition from God came upon me and He told me I had to humble myself and call Sue and ask for forgivness. So eventaly, after fighting with myself I got the nerve up to call her Sunday and after two attempts I got her on the phone. I told her I was sorry, that I shouldn't of acted like that, I wasnt being much of a friend, please forgive me.She wasnt very enthoused to hear from me but she didnt cuss me out like I thought she would.So now I have a ton of guilt off my chest, the Devil has been kicked out of that part of my life and soon I will have a bare yard again. Lession Learned.

    Monday, March 1, 2004

    Thank you Friends!

    I just want to give a shout out to Kara from BrandNew Day (would link but she went private).  She wrote me an e-mail that was such an encourgment to me.  Sometimes we as humans get in low points and we listion to the wrong voice, you know the one that tells you YOU SUCK, You Dont do any Good, What's the Point and yadyaddayadda..  A few days ago I was doing that and she saw that in my journal and as she said she saw some of herself in it but she wanted to encourage me.  She flattered me with all the wonderful things she had to say and I even cried becuase I was so touched. I needed to hear that from some one, some else saying, Mary YOU DoNot Suck!   It always amazes me what a conection we can have with ppl thousands of miles way, how J~Land gives us these peaks into others lives and we can connect.  You never know the impact we have on eachother, positive and negitive.  I try and be an encourager all the time and somtimes I forget that I too need encouragement, seems like I rarley get it at home, at least not in the ways I feel I need.  No my husband isn't a monster, he is one of the most loving and kind man I have ever known.  And you often only get to see one side of the story.  He never insults me with mean words or puts me down.  But sometimes raw truth and the tone it is given in can hurt just as much.  And lol after all he is just a man and sometimes let's face it, they dont always know how to tell women all that sensitve gooey stuff we need to hear or when they do try lol it comes off wrong.   So Thank you Kara and all my friends who take the time to speak into my life, to encourage me and sometimes hold me in check too.  This Journal is like a diary to me, the one I was afraid to keep growing up because of the time the one I did have got in the wrong hands and was read.  Here I have control and freedom, but also a plus is I speak into others lives.