Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Beautiful, The name of the Temple Gate in Acts Chapter 3:1-5


Here is a link to my Remembrance page I just updated it today. I added a picture memorial that I made for the memorial service last year. I just figured out how to convert it to jpeg so i could put it on the website. This is a part of my life and part of me brining all the broken peices of my life to the Lord and letting him heal them. I know that where you have been hurt the most God can use you the most.

Beautiful is the name of the Temple Gate where Peter and John healed a crippled begger.  I saw that and knew that was the name I had to give to my child.  Check out the webpage and let me know what you think.

More poundering

We are Spirutal Beings haveing an earthly exsperance, NOT earthly beings looking for a spirutal exsperance. This is NOT our HOME. That comment was made at the retreat and I had to write it down so I could think on it more deeply.  We are made up of three parts, patterned after God.  We are body, mind and spirt(soul). God: Jesus(the body) the Father(mind) and the HolySpirit(spirit).

If this is not my home I should remember that and not act as if I love this place so much and would rather be here than home.  Like those who are Ambassitors to forien counrtrys, they live among the people of that land, but they remember where they are from and long for going home when thier job is done.  I should not let the things of this world suduce me and make me forget where I really belong.  Living with God is going to be so much sweeter than anything I can exsperance here on earth.  Being face to face with him is going to be so awesome and like the song goes "I can only Imagine" but I know the promise is there will be no more tears, no more pain.  It will be compleet perfection, because no sin will be there only God who is Perfect.  Perfect Love, not selfish love.  Here on earth there are so many things that fight for my attention, to direct me away from God.  So many things to give into that my flesh would love to dwell on.  But a new van or trendy closths pails in comaprison to what I will have when I get Home.And its ok that I do not have the perfect shape or am the most Beautaful, God thinks I am wonderful the way I am, and when I get home he will give me the perfect body then.  The things in this world will pass away, but my relationship with God will be Eternal!

We are Spiritual Beings having an earthy experience!This is NOT OUR HOME

I found this fowlling comment and it made me sad. "you find such comfort in your religion. Lots of people would give anything to feel that way."  Yes this is a true statment but that this perosn has envy for me and me faith is what makes me sad.  How I wish I could run up to who ever this is and tell them " YOU TOO CAN FEEL THIS WAY.  It is not just for me, God loves you soooooo much also and he is in fact calling out to you too. You too can have this PEACE and JOY!! No matter how bad we have been, he is there with open arms waiting for us.  But we are like rebelous children who want to live our own way and do not want to hear it from Dad.

I had read in some one's profile once that" People use love to fill a void and use ppl out of greed and are selfish".  I had to e-mail him and tell him how TRUE that is and he nailed it on the head.   We all do have a void and we use many things to try and fill this void in our life.  But the fact is no one and nothing can ever fill this void, it is there for a reason.  That void is a longing we all have, even if we dont know it in the natural, for a deep personal relationship with God, our creater. Only he can fill it with HIMSELF.  Like the title of this post is, We are Spirtal Beings having an Earthly Exsperance.  This is not our home, it is tempary.  We long to be home with our Father. This life is a vappor and what we do here and now determains so much.  There are Eteranal rewards or consequences.

Monday, September 29, 2003

The Christian Womans Lifestyle Very cool journal page. Highly recommended :)

The Potters Hand Isaiah 64:8, 45:9, 29:16, Rom. 9:21

Isaiah 64:8 But now, O LORD, thou [art] our father; we [are] the clay, and thou our potter; and we all [are] the work of thy hand.

Isaiah 45:9 Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker! [Let] the potsherd [strive] with the potsherds of the earth. Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth it, What makest thou? or thy work, He hath no hands?

Isaiah 29:16 Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter's clay: for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding?

Romans 9:21  Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?

Jer. 18 a must read.

Jeremiah 18:2 Arise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words.3 Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels. 4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make [it]. 5 Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 6 O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay [is] in the potter's hand, so [are] ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.

I am the Clay and He is the potter.  He shapes me as I yeild to him, he forms me into the person he would have me to be. He is my creater and I am his creation. He has a set perpose for me. I may be just a normal cup or an eligent vase, but still I am his vessle for him to use as he chooses. Lord fill me and use me, make me perfect, take out all the air bubbles, may I be soft and plyable to your hand.  When I am broken and cracked I will go to you for repair.  I give my LIFE to the Potters Hand.  Amen.

Sunday, September 28, 2003

Notes part 4... Start at Pics from Retreat.

Recommended Reading:

“Encourage Me” Charles Swindal

“The Five Love Langues” Gary Small


Learn the Lord’s Compassion

            Point People to Christ  

            Hebrews 3:13 But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.


Encourage is to Inspire to Hope

And those are all my notes. I plan to take a few of these points this week and meditat on them in here.

Notes part 3

  • We are Spiritual Beings having an earthy experience!
  • This world is NOT our home!
  • Treasure- we reserve a special spot for our treasures.
  • God hid his Tresure in the Hearts of Men.
  • We are his Walking Display Case!
  • 2Cor. 4:1-18
  • 2 Corinthians 4:18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen [are] temporal; but the things which are not seen [are] eternal.


part 2 Notes


  • Any Good Work for My Master      
  • Isaiah 64:8, 45:9, 29:16, Rom. 9:21
  • Don’t hide your brokenness from God. Bring him your Pieces. Trust him to reform you!
  • Give Him your Past, Present and Forever.
  • Jesus Draw Me closer to You, Let the World fade away, Soften My Heart, Set Me Apart


notes from the Women's Retreat

here are my notes from the retreat that I wish to ponder.  I know there is alot and there is sure to be a Part2 or 3 to this post.

  • Change My Heart ‘O God     Be like you, make it True
  • Live life with an Eternal Perspective
  •  He is The Potter I am the Clay
  •  Revive Us again
  • Breathe in Jesus, Exhale the Fear
  • Who’s in Charge of Your Life?
  • Am I self Absorbed?
  • Jeremiah 18
  • 2Tim. 2:20-21

Pics from Women's Retreat

I'm back! And I have a ton of pics to share.  I suggest you click on view my alblems for best viewing of these pics. lol  Yes I did take alot, but there was so much to see and do and I wanted to share it with you all. A few of the ladies flattered me by saying I took good pics and wondered if I took a photography class and that I should be the offical church photographer lol.  Na, I just love pictures.  I love to capture moments of my life so that I can come back to them agian and agian.  I have been a picture nut since I can remember lol. I got my first kodak camera when I was in Elemetry school ( have passed the same camera to my son).  I still have pics I took from when I was on a field trip to the Milwaukee Musum back in 3rd grade. The dig. camera is the best gift I ever got!! Instant gradifacation.  I can see what I took right away and if I like it or not.

I will post separtly about the retreat.  I took notes and want to pounder them here.

Friday, September 26, 2003

Just some thoughts

HyperPoll Results

On my personal webpage(link found in about me section) I have an open poll. Been up forever. I was just wondering of who visits my site and what their beliefs are. Not many selections, but there is an other category and I ask if you vote that way to put in my guest book what it was. And I also have an undecided category. But I noticed, that the all of 145 ppl who dared to vote all had a deiced belief and the Don't Know category is a big 0 votes lol. According to the poll 40% of those who voted where Christians.
That leaves a whole 60% who are not Believers in Jesus Christ. WOW!! First I wondered why so many who are different from my beliefs came to my site, but then I am happy, cuz I am pretty straight forward with my testimony. I pray that I only have a good impact and that the Lord will use the site for his purpose. Just some thoughts, better get going and get ready to leave for my trip..;-)

Getting Ready

Well, I am about all ready for my min-trip. The Women's Retreat! I almost wasn't able to go. Josh has to work Sat. and we was searching and searching for sitters for the kids. Having 4 kids it is hard some times lol we have to split them up for anyone to take them to watch. The older two was easy to place but the little ones was harder. I called all those who I thought might take them, but it seems this is a busy weekend. I about resolved myself into not going. Threw me a pity party ya know.
Went into "why do I even try" "poor me" bla, and started crying in my room lol. Then I prayed "Lord, this hurts, I wanted to go sooo bad. Please help us find someone to watch the girls but Lord if its not your will for me to go, I will accept that, but please help me not be bitter about it" Then Josh came in and found me crying. He hates to see me cry and told me I was going and not to worry about it. That sure made him get on the phone fast and he found a nice girl from church who loves the girls.
Then 5 min before bed my son tells us that his project for school is due tomorow, and ofcourse its not done. I had to head out to Wal-Mart in search of seeds. And you know seeds are out of season, the bulbs are out. but founds some in the clearance rack. and had to pick up some goodies for my overnight hee hee. For who ever is rooming with me I got two mud masks, candles, and stuff to do a pedicure. Be almost like a slumber party! lol

Thursday, September 25, 2003


National Center for Missing & Exploited Children Teams with Superstation WGN to Promote Child Safety and Help Bring Chidren Ho
Someone who understands all too well the importance of media exposure when a child is abducted is Marcella Anderson. Her one-year-old daughter, Jasmine, was abducted from a Chicago bus station on Christmas Eve in 2001. Thanks to national media attention, Jasmine was recovered safely three days later in West Virginia and the suspect was arrested. Anderson and Jasmine, now two-years-old, attended today's launch. "Through the efforts of the national media, my daughter was found safe and brought home to me. If Superstation WGN can help other families be reunited with their missing children, I applaud their efforts," said Anderson.

Yes, that is my sis! I was just going threw my old faves and deleting them and found this old ardical on my sister Marcy or as the World knows her Marcella. It is a very very long story and life goes on, but I do not ever want to forget it becaue it is one that is such a faith builder to me. THANK YOU LORD JESUS!  I know I should do a webpage about it some time, becuase it is such a major part of our family story. 

something new

OK  did the up date!! I am pleased.  No misshaps so far.  Some cool new things but to get the most out of them the other person in IM has to have 9.0 also.  I have not found a super buddy Icon that suites me yet.  I did do a mic conversation with one of my pals and it was neat to put a voice behind the screen name.  My 2yrd and 3yrd where almost as excited about it as I was lol.  I see you can do a video one too, but thats ok.  I do not have a web came and that is just fine with me lol.

Have not done all the playing around with it that I want to yet.  Josh gave me a time limit last night so I would go to bed with him. hee hee.  I am bad like that, i get some thing new and that is where all my attention will go for like 3 days and everyone else suffers because of it.  Trying to do better. ")  I recomend 9.0 to all my friends, lol just so I can talk with you on the mic easy and that way I wont have to worry about the wrath of my husband if I do give out our phone number( its a rule, we dont do that).  Oh also I can put pics in my buddy profile now.  I just did the ones I posted on here before.  If anyone has some cool tips for 9.0 let me know!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

crossing fingers

OK.  Got the 9.0 disk finaly!!!  I am going to up date tonight and cross my fingers that my puter doesnt crash or all my aol files get lost!  I hope it is worth all the hype put into it lol, right. 

OK> Here goes ")

Look what Josh found in the Breezeway! UGH!

Josh was taking off his boots in the breeze way and looked down and look what he saw!  A little baby snake.  I am not pleased about his new visiter at all.  The fact that it is so small means there is more close by, little brothers and sisters and a momma and a daddy. YUCK!  What is up with us getting all these nasty little critters!  lol should I take these as signs lol na, i am not superstious.  But what is next, Bats??.  There is a whole min eco system in our yard that I had no Idea was there.  I like that we live out there, but we are not that deep in the country dang it!

We took some pics and e-mailed them over to our friend Steve who is some what of a snake exspert (ment in a nice way) he even breeds them.  Josh at first thought it could be a corn snake but I knew it wasnt just by the color. Corn snakes are more brownish red.  Well Steve couldn't tell and any pics he saw off the web that seemed simlar are all rare and not likely ones.  Any one got any ideas?? We live in Missouri so I would asume it would be a kind of snake from around this region. Unless those Hoosiers (and for those who don't know what a hoosier is, it is slang for white trashy red necks in the MO area lol) in the Trailer Park behind us had a pet and let it loose it?   Again Josh was humain about it and let it loose (in the neighbor's yard!)

where have all the customer service jobs gone..???

An IM Chat:

INJESUS24HRS:  Well I called AOL
 Hunybea4him:  lol
 INJESUS24HRS:  and they said to try the journals again so could you E Mail me yours...they said if it does not work to call them immediately...and
 INJESUS24HRS:  I spoke to a heavy accented man by the name of Ken
 Hunybea4him:  lol "ken" 
 INJESUS24HRS:  and I asked him where was I calling
 INJESUS24HRS:  and He said that I called New Galie, India but that
 Hunybea4him:  uh ha, i knew it
 INJESUS24HRS:  if I call again they have offices thru out the world and it just happen that I got India he said maybe next time I call I will get the Phillipines or another country
 INJESUS24HRS:  interesting why don't we have anyone locally here in the USA
 Hunybea4him:  told you, shipping all those jobs for cheaper labor
 INJESUS24HRS:  oh yea that is right
 Hunybea4him:  oh boy i can go into a rant, and i knew I was right lol just happen to get India, what ever...

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

When did life get so busy?

Alot going on it seems lately and I know I can not even go in to it all here.  Just a few things, I got roped into being my daughters Brownie Girl Scout Troop leader and our first meeting is tonight!!  I am very excited about this and in talking to my mom last night I discovered that my daughter is 4th generation Girl Scout!  I don't think there is alot of girls who can claim that? and I found out my mom went all the way threw to Senior Scouts!  I only made it up to jouniors.  Being a troop leader is no small task but I am looking forward to flexing some of my talents that doesn't get used often and I will be taking some Girl Scout classes too.

I already mentchend about the women's retreat.  Well my hubby wants to work that weekend and he is scrambling to find sitters for the kids.  I want to feel sorry for him, but he has knownn about this for almost 2 months and should of had a back up plan instead of exspecting me to handle it all.  It will alll work out. 

And one other thing and one of the best of all.  A book all married couples or soon to be married couples need to get is called "Sheet Music" by Dr. Kevin Leman.  I am shocked this is a book my husband is actualy enjoing reading with me.  I have not blushed and laughed soooooo hard since we have gotten married.  I am telling you, if you think your are having great sex now, get this book and see how much more it can be!  I am sure I will go into more detail later in regards to this book.  lol We just got it yesterday and Josh has already read 5 chapters with me.  I teased him and said, OH SURE you will read THIS book with me but when I asked you to read the Purpose Driven Life you flaked out. lol

Sunday, September 21, 2003

Show me my heart O'Lord.

Tonight was women's group at church and it was just the fellowship I was craving! We had a good study and talked about the retreat that is coming up this weekend. I cannot wait! Even if it is just one night away it will be the first time all to my self with no KIDS or HUBBY for as long as I can remember. This years retreat's theme is "Jars of Clay" quoting the scripture Isaiah 64:8 "Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We are all formed by your hand." Makes me think of that song "Potter's Hands"One of my fav. worship songs! "Mold Me, Use Me, Fill Me, I give my life to the Potter's Hand"          Our study tonight was titled Beware of Cold Love/Bitterness *God deals with the quality of our love. We read scriptures dealing with cold hearts and bitterness and not forgiving as the Lord forgives. (if you would like the scriptures e-mail me) Heavy subject. One I have examained before but always good to come back to. I will have to pray on if I do have any bitterness in my heart still and ask God to deal with me on it.  But off the top of my head I can not think of anything I have to be sour about, but you know some times things are revealed in prayer that you never knew was in there.  hummm.

Saturday, September 20, 2003

 An After Eden Cartoon brought to you by: Answers in Genesis - Creation, Evolution, Christian Apologetics

Just Plain Nasty

USATODAY.com - Teen fragrance's titillating PR push could create a stink "The marketers for new teen fragrances FCUK Him and FCUK Her are hoping provocative advertising playing off the company name can stir up controversy and sales for the fragrance now rolling into stores."   UGH!!!!  When I was a teen and it was NOT that long ago mind you, All I wanted was a cool pair of DOC Martin Boots or the latest version of Vans.  How I hope the grunge trend comes back by the time my kids are teens, or with the way things are going now, they will be walking around naked and planning orgey parties! (OVER MY DEAD ROTTING BODY but you get my point) "Such a reaction will only make teens want the product more, says Michael Wood, vice president of Teenage Research Unlimited"The more people say, 'How dare them,' the more interest they get from the teen market."So what we are supposed to do, ignore this trend and cross our fingers it will go away?!!Ya right. I understand the need for teens to rebel and shock their parents, attention getters and trying to establish their own identify but there has to be a line not to cross, and you know it is the parent’s job to establish that line, and to actually be a parent.  I do not get these parents who let their kids run around with these shirts on that say things like Boy candy or Slut on it.  Or the jeans that let your thong and butt crack show for all the world to see.  Cool? No nasty more like it.

And if Nasty is what is "in" when my sweeties get to that age, then they will not be with the cool ppl I guess.  Parents, you have control of your teens spending power, where do they get the money to buy these things? YOU or some little job they have and you need to teach them how to spend their money wisely.

Friday, September 19, 2003

Part 2 still poundering. Pinky are u poundering what I am poundering?

My church I call family is non-denominational, independent from a set denomination. I believe the Bible is the inspired WORD of God and that you cannot just believe some parts of it without believing all of it. And yet I know there is so much in the interpretation, thus such the splits in the churches. (I do think that is sad, and I do consider other denominational Christians my brothers and sisters) Do I adhere to a strict lifestyle? Well.. hum. I sure do try to live as I believe, and I am not perfect by anymeans (That is where Grace comes in, For when I do fall short).  But I do believe that the 10 Commandments are that Commandments, not the 10suggestions.  But that is why the gift Christ has given us is THE ONLY WAY TO HEAVEN OR INTO THE KINGDOME OF GOD.  We will all be judged in the end, sin has consequences, that is death, eternal death, that is the price to be paid.  With out the blood of Christ to cover your sins(for he paid that price for us that was required) so that you may be forgiven, no matter how many good deeds or works you do, you still fall short and will be judged and given the punishment.  I love God, for this wonderful gift he has given me, for changing me into a new creation, and changing me from glory to glory. I love him just because he is who he is, He is God, the Creator, My Heavenly Father.  I know he has a plan for me and my life and that I am not an accident from some freak of evolution.  Does all that make me fundamentalist… hum, still pondering.. but I think maybe fundamentalists may leave out some of the Grace and focus on walking the strick straight line or you will go to hell.

Poundering Part 1 (yet again ran out of room, lost the best parts in the IM)

Main Entry: fun·da·men·tal·ism
Pronunciation: -t
Function: noun
Date: 1922
1 a : often capitalized : a movement in 20th century Protestantism emphasizing the literally interpreted Bible as fundamental to Christian life and teaching b : the beliefs of this movement c : adherence to such beliefs
2 : a movement or attitude stressing strict and literal adherence to a set of basic principles
- fun·da·men·tal·ist /-t
&l-ist/ noun
- fundamentalist or fun.da.men.tal.is.tic adjectiv
OK, I had to be smart and look up that term to make sure it was correctly defined by me in my last post. I see I was about right. Am I a fundamentalist?? Good question and one I will have to ponder.

And why has it become so "vogue" to be cynical.. just a rant.

Came upon an intresting blog entry that I could probly rant all day about..McLog "Why is it always the kookiest religious people that get the most exposure and have the broadest reach?  Whether it's fundamentalist Christians or fundamentalist Muslims, those are the ones that people gravitate to."

Ugh for one he was quoting the 700 club (no I am not a fan but I am aware of who Pat is) and another thing is that he did not seem to have an opinion of what his own beliefs are. Fundamentalist by definition take their religion seriously, they don't walk the fence and have chosen what they do and do not believe and they live by it. Does this make them all wacky and out of their minds, well if you don't have a particular belief of your own or you are just claiming a particular religion out of tradtion and have no Heart for it, then I am sure they seem that way and easy to criticize. Not that I am surprised, for this is the sign of the times, and I should not get so irritated. More of this characterization will be happening, and soon, even moderate believers will be grouped with the "crazies and cults" And if you are not into this one world religioin called secularism, and only call on God or the Higher Power when you need comfort or a nice oh ok, i said a prayer i paid my dues.. ugh.  What is the saying?" Either you Stand for something or you Fall for Everything." Sigh..like I said I could rant all day but I will not waste my energy.

Thursday, September 18, 2003

AWwwwwww A Mouse!

OMG! We had a little friend visit us today!

AnnMarie(my 6yrd) was changing into her pj's in the bathroomand she screemed out MOM Thier is a RAT IN HERE!!  Laughing at her I came in thinking she must of saw a creepy crawling bug that we some times have and she is exsagerating.  I asked her"Where did you see this rat, there is no rat here is there?" She was standing on the toddlers foot stool and pointed behind the toilet.  Well I have a bunch of junk there, my cabootal and the normal bathroom cleaning stuff,so i kick at the pile to see if a bug was going to jump out.  And to my SHOCK IT WAS A MOUSE!! I jumped back in surprise and yelled to Josh," IT's A Mouse! Get in here and deal with it!!" So he steped in and us scaredy pants fled to the living room and shut Josh in the bathroom.  Took him a few minets to get the sucker, but he was humain about it and let him go out side.  He said it's just a little hopper mouse, you have seen them before, why you freaking out, you used to have pet rats.  Well yes that is true, but my pet rats, Amanda and Michell, where tame rats raised from birth, not wild.  And so the rest of the night the kids freaked about the mouse.  I couldn't even get Sophia to take a bath, she thought the mouse would be in there so she clung to daddy.  I know this is going to be an issue for atleast a week! ugh!  Let's just hope this was a one time visit, and it didn't have friends!

Did the rounds

So I did the rounds and put comments in all the other in the top 5 list and gave congrates to them. I do not read other people's journals that much and it was nice to see their perspective of the world. Looks like a well rounded sample of different age groups on the top 5. I wonder how they are picked? Anyways, enough attention to that. Life goes on ;-)   It was cool on the one where she put graphics directly in the post, done with HTLM code I think.  I would love to do that, but unless I have detailed instructions I will stay with what I got now.

I did pray with my online prayer partner today Becky(INJESUS24HRS).  We prayed about that big storm on the East Coast.  People from that area on our prayergroup had put in some requests.  Then Becky and I played a good game of scrable on yahoo games.  lol Becky is such a scrable nut.  I love her to pieces.  She is so disapointed that for some reason or another she can not view AOL Journals.  I am bummed too cuz I value her opinon.  Guess it's not ment to be. 

It was refreshing to see a few coments on my blog.  I wish people would leave more, but it is ok.  This is for my thoughts to air, not for me to care what others think. lol  Well the kid-os are going nuts and I need to give them the attention they want or they will completly destroy the house. :P


Part 2 (read Part 1 first) (wish we had more room for posts)

He browsed them and said he really didn’t like any of them. I asked “ NONE OF THEM? Did you even look at them?”  Then I told him about the e-mail.  He asked why AOL would want to feature MY Journal.  I playfully said, I don’t know, maybe cuz I am a good writer lol ya right.  Then it clicked with him about the entry I had made about him.  Did you put all that in it? He asked.  I said well, um, ya!!(I couldn't lie to him) But I did a great follow up dear, made you look really good. LOL He walked off, laughing. So finally this morning I sent along a pic, but folks I guess I took too long and they allready choose #1.  Snooze you loose.  Go with your gut next time and don’t care what others think.  But for your benefit I will post the pic I finally sent in and the ones I liked most.  J

Part 1 Snooze You Loose

I got a nice e-mail from AOL Journal Editors yesterday saying they may want to feature my journal on the top 5 pick list and wanted a photo of me.  In my excitement I took a few snap-shots of myself behind my bee balloon.(fitting cuz my nic is Hunybea4him)  They turned out kind of gritty but I figured if ppl read my journal, the real me, they might as well see the real me with out make-up and all that jazz.  I took about a dozen or so pics but narrowed it down to about 9 that I liked, and being the pollster that I am, I sent about 9 of them to my friends from my groups to vote.  Most said 2 or 6 was the best. When Josh got home I asked him to look at the pics I took. I told him it was important, that maybe millions would see it.  He asked well what is it for?.  I told him to just pic a picture please.  I didn’t want to tell him right away but he could tell I was excited. 

Wednesday, September 17, 2003


I know it has been a few days and I need to ad a follow up to my last rant. LOL.  Did you know I spent almost 2 hours on that?  I told my husband it was theropy for me. He said "but you spent 2hours on it!  Did you have that much to say about ME?" Obvoiously he didn't know how hurt I was that day.  So I said here read it, and pulled it up for him on Word where I had written it on. He sat down at the puter and I went into the living room.  After he was done he sat next to me and said "I am so sorry, I did not relize that I was being that bad. I realy messed up, I am so sorry, I you should never have to feel that way, I should never make you feel that way. What kind of flowers do you want?"  Awwwwwww Sweet right?! But I wasn't going to let him off easy. "What Kind of flowers! We have been married for 7yrs and you don't know what Kind of flowers to get me by now?!" I said, cuz I was pissed that he even asked. I looked up at him all emotional and said,"All I want from you is to tell me I am as beautiful as I was when we where 16, I don't even want flowers". He started to say but you are older now, I covered his mouth to stop him, cuz that would really piss me off, I said "stop right there I am trying to forgive you!" If you even do get me anything, I want it to be something from you, get me what ever makes you think of me.  And he did, see pics. Then we had a great night of make-up sex. :)

Monday, September 15, 2003

How a man can crush a women 3 (read 1&2 first)

I think I blushed all threw church.  I don't take completes well I guess and so I did avoid eye contact with anyone, I did not feel pretty anymore. UGH.  So what is the moral of this story?  My "love bank" is running low and I better be getting some BIG deposits soon! Flowers!!


Part2 (read part 1 first)

I don't look in the mirror much anymore, and now I could see why. I put on a bit of foundation powder and then I noticed it! I had a very thin, very blond lady mustache!  I screamed.  Why!! Why!  Josh came in to see what I was fussing about and I wined, I have a mustache! Again he just walked away, smart, until I heard him close the bedroom door and give out a loud on purpose laugh!  I was getting very upset at this point.  I was feeling very unattractive   but I was trying to lump it up.  No one cares what I look like, so it's ok, but ugh, a mustache, yuck, where did that come from!  Josh was finished getting dressed and ventured back my way.  He thought it was funny.  I posed the question to him again, Why! How could this be happening, I am only 26 lol. I spose he thought he was cute when he asked if he could pluck it for me, I said sure right after I pluck yours!  Then he went into it, no symathy for me today, he said well if you would take care of yourself and pluck your eyebrows and nair your upper lip and legs, you wouldn't feel this way.  UGH! Now my eyebrows! He was implying that I don't take care of myself!  You know I do what I can; I have 4 kids and almost no time for my self.  I am not fu-gly looking to start out with and  I would love to do all those things those fancy girls like to do but I don't have the time to nor the money, and my hubby has always said he did not want me to turn into one of those kinds of girls anyways!
I am not a high maintanced woman!  So this coming from him hurt badly.  I don't think I am being over sensitive, but I tried to keep my hurt to myself.  But you know the more you try and hold those tears back the worse it is. So ten minutes before we have to leave for church I am in the bed room crying and ruining my make-up.  I give up, whats the point.   But you know, everyone commented on how well I looked today, and even asked if I had lost weight It was nice to get those smiles from men again, even if
even if it wasn't my beloved husband.

Men and how they can crush a women sometimes!

This Sunday was one of those rear days that I felt like dressing up.  I don't do this too often but the girls looked so cute today in their dresses that I felt that I should attempt to look nice too.  Normally I am a T-shirts and jeans kind of gal, even for Church since we go to a very relaxed one and no one really cares about looks.  Mostly I do not have time after getting everyone else ready to do anything for myself.  So me taking time in the bathroom to do makeup and me wearing a dress
for church is not an often occurrence.  And the times I do do any thing I get the hurry up comments from hubby.  I was quite pleased as I put on my new bra and girdle I got last month for mom's wedding, it was not as tight and fit good.  I could breath.  And I went threw my closet disgusted that I did not have much to choose from but I picked out a dress that I had never worn. It was a size 16 and I thought it would be tight, but it was perfect! I was very pleased, my little bit of dieting is working. I was flying high as I was primping in the mirror.  Hubby was coming up stairs from his shower in our second bathroom, he yelled "Where's YOUR MOM?" to the kids and they chimed she is getting dressed.  I smiled, because I was already dressed and just putting on a little touch of make-up.  As he walked by the bathroom to our room he stopped, and asked "Why are you all dressed up?"  I said no reason; can't I look nice for church? Then comes the crusher.  He said are you going to put on your new girdle with that dress? I stopped dead in mid mascara stroke and looked at him.  I thought to my self, don't I look nice? Am I that fat that even with the squeezing undies on I look buldgie?  I said to him "Thanks, I am already wearing it!! Don't I like ok?! Oh he knew he screwed up and put his hands up and walked away. And from the other room he did say you do look ok.  Well I know I shouldn't have let that kill my spirit but it did.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Another fun day on AOL

Yet another problem with my AOL. This time I keep getting a run time error stating that a command from and list a big long AOL file.. has requested termination in an unusual way. NICE. I have gotten it like 7 times today. My AOL completely shuts down and I loose what ever I had been working on (my journal! my last post was alot more in lenth and had pics). I spent the better part of a day trying to resolve this problem. As I was in chat with AOL support it did it again. Then I went back to chat and ofcourse got a different guy. He said I need to uninstall this version of AOL all together and reinstall 7.0! Ugh. I asked well what if I just upgrade online to 9.0, will that help. NOPE it has to be from a disk. So out of utter frustration I called AOL to ask for a disk, since my AOL came with this putter. More run around from the guy with the heavy accent (you know all the customer service jobs are going over to India right!) All I wanted was a 9.0 disk but no, can only order it online. Finally he said he would put an order in for me. In the mean time I have gotten two detailed e-mails from support both of them diginosing the problem differntly and telling me differnt ways of trying to correct it. Sigh. If anything I will get my 9.0 disk sent to me, finaly. Crossing my fingers that if I do some of the things from the e-mails it will help and I dont have to do the unistall thing untill I do get a disk and my online life will resume to normal lol. ya right


Remember the Blood of Heroes...
EVERY ONE NEEDS TO VIEW THIS WEBSITE!! Especially the ones who bitch and moan over the coast of the War on Terror and those who are more worried about the economy then our safety. America has such a short memory. Do you remember what you felt that day two years ago? Just because the pictures are not shown, just because our feelings change from day to day, Doesn't mean it never happen, and that the threat of it happening again has gone away. I don't think today should be made a "holiday" but a day of Mourning, a solem day.  Maybe called America Remeber YOUR WAKE UP CALL.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

My long busy day in the car :P

I am wiped out! This week was very full of activity and today seemed to be the busiest. I had to drive Josh to school this morning so I could take his Mom and aunt to the airport. After that I took Lilly and Sophia to see my friend who works for HeadStart and saw some of the kids old teachers. Then we had lunch at the park and played. And then I had to fight traffic and pick Josh back up and take him to work and then rush home make dinner and take Zane to his first BoyScout meeting. A lot of drive time
with two little ones, and I hate driving on the highway in rush hour traffic. And still later tonight I have to pick Josh up from work. So I will have to pack up the kids who will be asleep and drive more. UGH. LOL. Will post more later with details of my trip, and maybe some pics!

Wednesday, September 3, 2003

What do you say to Mormons?

Let Us Reason Ministries ON cults and Religions

What can one say to a Mormon who comes to their door without it taking hours having only one chance to challenge them.

When I’m in a discussion I have them commit to saying they are a Christian. Then I pose a question to them in this manner.

What if I said I was a Mormon and that I can join any church that teaches the bible. I also don’t believe Joseph Smith was a true prophet, or that their are modern day prophets and apostles. I don’t believe Jesus is an angel in the Spirit family of the Devil, nor that God gives new revelation adding to scripture nor that I can progress to be god of my own world

They would answer, then you are not a Mormon

I would then ask why not? Their reply would be, Because you do not believe what Mormons believe, our priesthood our prophet, you don’t believe in eternal progression, or new revelation in scripture!

My reply would then be, This is exactly why you are not a Christian. You don’t believe in one God, the finished revelation written by the true prophets, that Jesus is the one true God and that man is a sinner, in need of redemption never to progress to be God !

We do want Mormons to be included in Christianity but they need to come the same way we all did by a new spiritual birth, not by the laws and ordinances of the church. One is born into the kingdom Jn.1:12 not by working they're way.

More family coming in

More fun ahead of me this week.  Josh's older sister Pammy called last night and said she will be coming into town this weekend.  This is great.  Been forever since we have seen her and her daughter.  The best part is she will be staying with Josh's dad so I do not have to worry about finding more room to put her LOL.  Also she is Morman and I know Josh would not want the subject to come up about religion as to not cause a thing but I can see that it will.  When we talked to them last Easter they said how envolved they are getting in that "church" and even asked if we would mind having missionarys come out.  NO WAY!  So I decied to arm myself just incase it does come up and read up on the Mormans and what they do belive.  I knew they where a cult and had kookie belifes but they are way way out there!  And what is even more dangrous is they try and pass themselves off as Christians.  OH Devil you try and be so clever!!

Tuesday, September 2, 2003

the little things

Whew, what a busy weekend but it was very nice.  And I have so much more excitement ahead of me.  Josh's Mom and his aunt are coming into town tomorow night.  It was nice having my Mom and her husband down for those few days and the self thing was never even brought up and it was not an issue.  Ofcourse right after they left I brought back out the ones of mom and dad and put them right back in thier place.  The shelf looks compleet now, before you could just tell it was missing something.  Next time I will leave it all out but I will have some of mom and her new husband out.  Some times I just stress way too much over the little things and little details. lol.  Now on to the next group of guests.  The house isn't too bad since I did all that for when mom was coming into town and OH we have our new couch and some rugs.  Just the right touch!(will have to post a pic) My main thing I think today is I will do major laundry and I want to scrub the floors and wipe the cabinets out. Ugh and the kids rooms are trashed!