Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Anyone have the Chicken Pox??? Please come on over.

Yesterday Lilly was sent home early from school.  She had made it to almost the end of her school day (she is in an extended day reading program) but went to the nurse with a fever.  The nurse said she had 102 fever and her throut looked red and that she should be looked at by her doctor because Strep was going around the school.  UGH right! LOL  My poor baby.. no one likes to see their children sick.  Once I gave her some children's ibuprofen she perked up but wouldn't eat dinner and fell asleep on the couch.  Since we moved this summer we have not had a need to go to the doctor, we are generally healthy, so I had to find a new doctor for her still and hope they could get her in. Thankfully I found a group of pediatrician the next town over and made an appointment for today at 8:30 a.m.    A lot closer then where we used to go and better office hours! 

Lilly was hard to get up this morning but she did not have a fever.  She only wanted water, no juice or toast or anything to eat.  Before we left I hunted for the shot records to bring with me.. knowing that they like to have that on file.  We got in nice and fast.  I was still filling out paper work when we were called back but glad we didn't have to sit around in a waiting room.  Lilly went threw her exam and the doctor took a strep test that came back neg.  They took another one that takes longer and we will hear about the results tomorrow morning.  The doctor said she looked ok but the flu and colds have been going around.. if her temps are not all gone by Friday she wants to see her back in. I like that she is therarow.. normally I get the wait and see and if you have questions or concerns call and that is it.  I am relieved that it looks like she doesn't have Strep but we will know for sure tomorrow.  I hope and pray not.. having to pay for prescriptions right now (we pay upfront and get reimbursed later) would strain us even more then we are now.  The doctor recommended popsicles to the girls delight.

Nice normal doctor appointment and then she looked at Lilly's shot record. I knew what was coming next but really didn't feel like going into it with her. Our conversation went a bit like this:  She asked if her record was current..

Yep they are. 

Are you sure.. she is missing the chicken pox one.

Yes.. I know. 

Well she needs it.

No she doesn't. 

Oh? Has she had the chicken pox then?

Nope. We have opted not to get that one and if I had known sooner there would be a few other ones we would of refused too.

Oh really?  But you know it is required for kindergarten now don't you? 

No it is not.. if you have a religious wavier. 

That is true, I knew that (ya but you thought I didn't humm) (and then she gets a perplexed expression)  May I ask why you have chosen to not give her that vaccination?

It goes against my moral conscious.

Oh. (and in almost a whisper) I don't want to scare you but about 80-90 people a year die from complications due to chicken pox.. not chicken pox themselves but things like phnimonia.

Oh well.. I am not worried but thanks.

OK. Just saying. You could get her in after she is over being sick, just something to think about.

I smile and end of conversation and I kick myself for not bringing the waivier with me and a print out with the info on why I am so opposed to certain shots.  Like I said I really didn't feel like getting all into it.

But now that I am thinking about it and stewing I should of told her that killing a human life and benefitting from it is terrible and to tell the children murdered every 23 seconds that they should feel good that they are sacrificing for the greater good (sarcastic)  Or I should of asked her to tell the next person she sees with chicken pox to give me a call so we can just settle it and be over it.  It is not like she did not know there was an objection to that vaccination or others.. she didn't think I knew or didn't want me to know and kept pushing for it.  Oh well.. next time if it comes up I will be more prepared for the conversation but considering.. I think I did well.

In case you are new and wondering what in the world I am talking about, the chicken pox vaccine and a few other vaccinations, are derived from aborted fetal tissue or cells, and while some have an alternative available, as of right now the chicken pox one does not.  For some reading here is a link to an entry I had done at the beginning of last spring when this first came to my attention and here is a link to a site where you can see a list of vaccines and manufactures who make these kind of ahorrant shots and alternatives and your rights and documented evidence.




Monday, January 30, 2006

Thinking on the verse of the Day and other things

Psalms 86:5  For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.   (NKJV)

Key things I pulled out from that verse: The Lord is Good, Ready to Forgive, Abundant Mercy, All who call upon him.


To say that my Bible is a bit dusty would be in all honesty.. an understatement. Ohh don't look sooo surprised lol  the best of us fall into a cycle of laziness.. but as this verse says The Lord is Good.  I am trying and that is what counts, reconizing it.. because you know we all fail and come short but God is good where he brings us back, corrects us, and draws us to himself...we just have to want to hear him and feel that drawing, that tugging on the heart and submit to it.  I am trying to draw closer to him.. feel like I have not been as close to him as I should be.  Yes this month has been very exciting for me as I was given the opportunities to speak on what God has done in my life and be apart of Pro-Life events.. but it is those inbetween times of life.. when I am in the daily grind, the unexciting things..  So much or little going on at once.. like I am in this place of where I know I need to do certain things or I am waiting on something or some one, there is a desire on my heart but no outlet, and no fruit.. like I am stuck inbetween. I can't explain it.  Luke warm? hummm.. Frustrated?? humm.. Disconnected.. bingo.. that sounds more right.  And you know what.. it is a yucky feeling.  

I can blame it on alot of things.. Josh and Zane have been out of town two weeks now and wont be home till Friday. Everyday there seems to be something going on, you know how that goes.  And with money being the way it has lately I have been trying to save where I can.. not drive as much because filling the gas tank is a killer.. and I guess I used that as part of my excuse of not going to church regularly.. it is so far from us now and you know all of the reasons you tell yourself it is ok to sleep in or that strugle to get everyone andyourslef ready to go out or there is something going on that trumps going and all the other bla bla bla excuses.  I did go this last Sunday.. late.. but I am gald I went but still I feel disconected with what is going on there and the changes that are occuring.  But my relationship with God does not depend on me being in a certain building on a certain day of the week or on my husband being home or any other things.. It does depend on the time I spend with HIM.  And that is the heart of it all.  I just have not been spending time with HIM.  My prayer life has been stale for awhile now.. not that I don't talk to him everyday or think on him.. have that on going conversation all the time.  It is that getting deep.. being still... waiting and listening or just spending time PRAISING Him for all he has done that I am lacking.  I let myself get frustrated too with how this world is going, it is getting so dark and murky.. thick.. at times I talk back to the t.v. or the computer screen but I keep telling myself.. why are you still surprised.. you know why all that is happening.. maybe to the point of growing a hard heart because it hurts to see so much evil filling my country, and my world and no one seems to care or nothing is being done about it and it just gets worse.  I don't have to give a list.. but it doesn't take much to see it.. flip on your news.. shoot just read the welcome screen on AOL or the movie reviews and you can see it if you have the eyes to see.  In part I rejoice over some of the current events because it shows we are even closer to the return of my Lord and what an awesome time to be alive.. to be appointed for such a time as this.. to be in the last generation but behind each story is a heart that is hurting.. a person that is desperate for love.. people void of peace and in so much pain or filled with hate, some one who needs the Lord in their life.. some one who is heading for hell unless they repent and call upon the Name Of Jesus.  Who is telling them the truth.. would they hear if they were told.. and where is my place in it all.  Where is God taking me and where am I going to end up, what would he have me do?  I am just one lone voice, who isn't as close as she should be, who is looked at as a freak in many circles (not that I care) ha or as intollerant and ignorant.. lol now whois that sounding like.

I guess what this is all boiling down too... I want and need more then what I have been doing or getting.. I want and need more of God in my life.  And I know he wants to give me more of himself.. he already has done it all for me.. I just need to receive it, except it, draw near to him, shake off this cloud, this feeling of heaviness.. and put on the garments of praise.  Joy.. where is the joy.. I have hints of it here and there but I want to bask in it, drink of it.. and it is easy really.. I just have to start, call upon him.. and he does the rest. If I just meditate on the fact that I am his child, that he took me so far from a life that was filled with so much sadness and pain, that I am not apointed unto wrath.. that he loves me.. that is all the Joy I need.

Can you relate? You hearing me?  Or did this all just go whoosh over your head?

Going to start with today's verse.. Lord you are Good.. Forgive me for being the way I have been, thank you for your abundant Mercy towards me and ALL who call upon you.

Renew me Lord, draw me closer, change me where I need to bring myself inline with your will for me and my life.  Help me with the choices and decisions that are coming up. Lead me and guide me.  Fill me with that fire for you once again. IN JESUS NAME I PRAY. AMEN.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Journal Hopping Tag

Need to find some new reads?  Or just want to make some new friends or need a fresh look on the world from other people's perspective?? Got some time on your hands?Then this game is for you!


Here are the rules for a great way to meet 15 folks. The object being to stray away from your journal as far as you can. (Maybe even meet new potential readers for your own journal.)

Start in your own journal . . .
In your "links to other journals" click on someone, I don't care who it is or how you picked them, close your eyes and point if you must. Read their latest entry, then leave them a comment, let them know they are involved in this little game and leave a link back to your journal.

NOW . . . 
From the random journal you selected to be in, click on someone in their "links to other journals," and once again read their latest entry, leave them a comment, let them know they are involved in this little game and leave a link back to your journal. . .

THEN . . .
From that journal go to their "links to other journals," (try to pick someone you don't recognize . . . if they don't have links, go back a step and pick someon new . . . be smart. . . and blah blah blah blah . . . you get the point . . . do this 15 times . . . or how every many you have time for, and if you are an over achiever shoot for 20. :)


Keep an eye on this spot for updates and links to the journals I visited.   Secret Garden Originally tagged me.. thanks!


Here are the journals I found threw this game.

Making Of A Home

Thought Salad

Daily Graditudes And Attitudes

Once And Again

As I Am

Living With Chronic Pancreatitis

I'm going Sane In A Crazy World

Tales Of A Gold Wing Diva

Choose Our Own Heroes and Rock And Roll Stars

Leslie's Universal/Catholic Thoughts

I Live In Soap Land

The HadonfieldMyers Experience

Ratings Of A Simple Women

Behind The Headset

It was a really good jaunt threw J~Land and all of those journals I listed are worthy of reading.  I hope some of them take up my invite to play and visit my journal.

I do have to say God must be working over time on me lol and trying to tell me something. On more then a few of those journals the themes were on power of Prayer or prayer requests and then on others about smoking.. and quitting smoking.  It just so happen that today someone gave me a book about quitting smoking that is supposed to be inspirational and from a Biblical perspective.  Yes Lord... I get your point.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Lilly.. Poster Child for Love

To say I was disappointed with Time is an understatement but I guess I was half expecting some thing to that effect.  But imagine how my heart le to find one of my most favorite picture of my daughter Lilly featured next to an important story about abortion and the numbers in the United States from LifeNews.com!!! (don't forget to go and read it next)


God knew this was just what I need to see to lift my spirit.  Tears roll down my face as I think of how something that may seem so simple to others is such a big deal to me and God knows it.  I have very complex emotions as I view this picture.  It is Lilly's older sister.. her sibling that she will not get to meet till she reaches Heaven and the 47 MILLION children lost to abortion since Roe V Wade that she holds this sign for.  It is for me who has felt the deep hurt that comes with abortion and mourns and grieves and all the other women who suffer because of their abortion, Lilly holds this sign for.  It is for the girl or women who is thinking about abortion and my feel the pressure from those around her that Lilly holds this sign for.

How did LifeNews.com get this picture?  Simple.. they snagged it.. no I was not asked ahead of time but that is ok.  I want many many many people to see it and I don't need credit for it.. To God Be The Glory. I did shoot Steve, who I met a few months ago over at myspace.com and one of the people who runs LifeNews.com, a thank you.  I know it was him who lifted it off my myspace.com profile picture. LOL

Ohh you just don't even know.. I have had a majorly sucky week and this has made my day so much brighter.


Friday, January 27, 2006

Fair and Balanced? HA.. WHAT EVER..Should of seen this coming.

You may remember last month me asking for prayer because of the TIME photo shoot?  Well I guess the article came out last Sunday.  Funny because I know I checked their website each week since and I didn't see it Sunday but here it is.  I don't know if it looks different in print and if they posted other pictures with it in the printed edition but take a nice gander at the only photo they did run with on the web edition. ... 

Nice huh? (not)  That looks like a staged photograph if I ever seen one.  I am very disappointed, mostly because Steve Liss insisted they did not want Us (members of Silent No More) to hold our signs and act like we were protesting or speaking on behalf of the group (and that is fine.. no one likes a fibber) and he bragged that all the talks in meetings meetings about the article and on how it should be fair to both sides.. "balance" is the word he used.  That article is ANY THING BUT balanced.  I could  pick it apart line by line but I won't waste my time.  But I will say this.. I wonder where she gets her numbers and facts.  According to many polls, America is more Pro-Life then this article would have us believe.

I am deeply sadden by Time and this article. I try real hard not to say out loud that there is a Liberal bias in the media but this just proves it more and more that there is. Man.. my heart goes out to Amy who did the interview with a reporter from the times (not the one who wrote this article but a contributer). I know she poured out her heart to him and agonized over how it would all turn out, only to end up on the cutting room floor with out so much as a three line quote.  AND I know they interviewed many pro-life groups in the Missouri Area for this story.. but did you read how this reporter thinks of such people who do what ever they can to help mothers and their children, "a do-gooder group" in the most condescending manor!

I just would like to  make a statement..

I had my son when I was 17 and I finished High School and I am happily married going on ten years. I am  NOT on well-fare and my life was not ruined by having my child!  I am not a "burden" on society and I think my son, who is very smart will someday grow up and turn this world on it's ear.  What had one of the MOST adverse effects on my life was having an abortion at 15.  It contributed to depression, drug abuse, promiscuity, much heart ache and rift with my parents and other family members and with God. 

THAT is the side of the story you are not getting in the media.. ABORTION is Hurting WOMEN.. both physically and mentally.

Anne Rice becomes a Christian Author??

Back in the day before I was a Christian I used to loveeeee horror fiction.  Anne Rice and Stephen King were my favorites.  Josh turned me on to Anne Rice before Tom Cruise ever tried to step into the shoes of Lestate the Vampire.  But after I became a Christian I did not get the joy I once had out of those sort of books and stopped reading them, even went as far as giving all the books I had from those authors away.  I loved those writers but didn't want my head and heart filled with where those stories went.  I prayed that they would turn their talents and lives over to the Lord one day so that I could again enjoy them but foremost that they would honor the Lord.

I thought for sure after Stephen King's brush with death a few years ago it would of lead him to the Lord and I could look forward to reading something from him again but that didn't happen.  (He has come out of retirement with a new horror called Cell.. lol mom already has it on order)  Today I was pleasantly surprised to read this article claiming that Anne Rice has turned her life over to writing for Jesus Christ and "The Church".  Ok so she went back into Catholicism.. but it is a start.  Her new book "Christ The Lord: Out Of Egypt" is a fictionalized account of Jesus's youth from his point of view.  Interesting but I think if I was to read it I would approach it with caution. But, Praise God that Anne has come to the Lord and is now writing to Glorify Him! 

The article quotes her as saying.. "I want this book to make Jesus real to people," she says, including "maybe people who have never thought about Him or people who just don't take Him seriously." In this book, the writer adds, "I've tried to create a probable reality -- the way it might have been with the holy family day in, day out."

I think there may be a danger on writing about themes that are not clear in scripture.. The NT only speaks about Jesus's youth once but I know there are spoken traditions in the Catholic Church about the stories of his family's time in Egypt.  I am one who doesn't believe in traditions but only what the Bible says.  But I have read some wonderful books written from a Biblical Charter's perspective and how the culture was in those times.  Last year (I'll have to go back and look up the post I did on it and it's name and author) I read one from Bathsheba's (sp?) perspective and her relationship with King David and how their affair effected the kingdom. It was neat to have it all click that Jesus Christ came from that line formed by David and her threw their son Solomon.  It was very uplifting and the author incorporated many of the Psalms into thier prayers.  I loved it.  So I will try and not prejudge Anne Rice's new book and look forward to checking it out for myself.

Now.. if only Stephen king would come to the Lord.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Money talks.......but things have been reeeeeeal quiet around our house lately.

Saw that and had to post it.. because it is sooooooo ture right now. UGH But.. it's ok.. better things are to come soon.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Thankful to be an American and ANOTHER Reason to avoid buying things made in China

Being an American I often take for granted that I am free to think and feel and speak, practice my faith and have access to information that helps form all of those things that other people in the world simply do not.  It is a delusion to think that all people who have access to the Internet have what ever information they seek at their finger tips.  This story about China and Google makes  me deeply sad and a bit afraid that this could happen world wide, if left unchecked.  LOL who am I kidding.. I know there is going to come a time when control over information and communication is in the hands of The World Governments.  We are witnessing all the baby steps.  So read on while you can.. drink it in deeply and savior it and store it into your memory.. the time is coming when we will see more of this:


Communist Google: Search Leader Agrees to Submit to Chinese Censors

By Gudrun Schultz

SHANGHAI, China, January 25, 2006 (LifeSiteNews.com) - Google Inc. has agreed to submit to Chinese government censors in exchange for greater access to the Chinese information market, one of the fastest growing Internet markets in the world. In response the hugely popular Internet news link service Drudge Report began the title of its link to the story with the phrase "Communist Google".

On Wednesday Google introduced a version unique to China, under the country’s Web suffix “.cn”. The version omits access to information considered offensive to the Chinese government, such as human rights issues, sites on the Tiananmen Square massacre, the forbidden Falun Gong spiritual movement, or Taiwan independence.

Users attempting to access such sites are re-directed to government sites condemning the information.

The giant online search engine Google Inc. operates under the motto “Don’t Be Evil.” Officials for the company say the decision to bow to censorship demands was difficult, but they believe access to the search engine will be of greater benefit to the Chinese people than holding out against communist government policies.

"While removing search results is inconsistent with Google's mission, providing no information (or a heavily degraded user experience that amounts to no information) is more inconsistent with our mission," said Andrew McLaughlin, Google's senior policy counsel told the Associated Press.

China hasa fast-growing body of Internet users, already over 100 million. Competition for Internet service is tight between Google, Yahoo Inc and the Beijing-based company Baidu, currently China’s most popular search engine. Government blocks and slow-downs to the previous Google service frustrated users.

Google has said they will not include e-mail and blogger service to China, in order to avoid possible government seizures of users’ personal information. Last year Yahoo was heavily criticized after it released information from a Chinese journalist’s e-mail account, who was later convicted of violating state secrecy laws.

Monday, January 23, 2006

"We love you, we love your child, and we're here to help you"

LifeSiteNews.com - Monday January 23, 2006

LifeSiteNews.com Publishes Full Address of President Bush to March for Life

President Calls "March for Life" Participants
Via Telephone

12:40 P.M. EST

THE PRESIDENT: Nellie, thank you very much. I appreciate the invitation to speak. I'm calling from Manhattan, Kansas. (Applause.) Sounds like you got some good folks from Kansas there. (Applause.) I want to thank everybody there -- if you're from Kansas, or anywhere else in our country, for your devotion to such a noble cause.

You believe, as I do, that every human life has value, that the strong have a duty to protect the weak, and that the self-evident truths of the Declaration of Independence apply to everyone, not just to those considered healthy or wanted or convenient. These principles call us to defend the sick and the dying, persons with disabilities and birth defects, all who are weak and vulnerable, especially unborn children. (Applause.)

We're making good progress in defending these principles, Nellie, and you and I are working together, along with others, to build what I've called a culture of life. One of my first acts as the President was to ban the use of taxpayer money on programs that promote abortion overseas. (Applause.) I want to thank you all for getting that ban on partial-birth abortion to my desk, a bill I was proud to sign -- (applause) -- and a law which we are going to defend -- and are defending -- vigorously in our courts. Because we acted, infants who are born despite an attempted abortion are now protected by law. Thanks to "Laci and Conner's Law," prosecutors can now charge those who harm or kill a pregnant woman with harming or killing her unborn child, as well. (Applause.)

We're vigorously promoting parental notification laws, adoption, teen abstinence, crisis pregnancy programs, and the vital work of our faith-based groups. We're sending a clear message to any woman facing a crisis pregnancy: We love you, we love your child, and we're here to help you.

There's more work to be done. The House has passed a bill to ensure that state parental involvement laws are not circumvented by those who take minors across state lines to have abortions. And the United States Senate needs to pass this bill so I can sign it into law. (Applause.)

We also must respect human life and dignity when advancing medical science,and we're making progress here, as well. Last month, I signed a pro-life bill supporting ethical treatment and research using stem cells from umbilical cord blood. I also renew my call for Congress to ban all forms of human cloning. Because human life is a gift from our Creator and should never be used as a means to an end, we will not sanction the creation of life only to destroy it.

By changing laws we can change our culture. And your persistence and prayers, Nellie, and the folks there with you, are making a real difference. We, of course, seek common ground where possible; we're working to persuade more of our fellow Americans of the rightness of our cause. And this is a cause that appeals to the conscience of our citizens, and is rooted in America's deepest principles -- and history tells us that with such a cause, we will prevail.

Again, Nellie, thank you for letting me come to speak to you. Tell everybody there that I ask for God's blessings on them and their families, and, of course, may God continue to bless our grand country. (Applause.)

END 12:44 P.M. EST


Sunday, January 22, 2006

ok.. second posting... here the pics with out the comantary lol




All pics taken with my camera phone (sine you know.. Sophia killed my dig one) Flickr.com is an awesome site and addictive. Check it out and let me know you were there!  Here is my link. 

To sum up my day.. Missed the Event BUT had a good time with my girls!  YES we went ALLLLLLLLLL the way to the top of the Arch!

50 things about me tag

50 things you might not know about me -- erase my answers and put in your own, then repost in your own journal.  Make sure you tag 3 people to join in. Post their links & let them know they've been tagged.... HAVE FUN!!

1. What is your middle name?  Tecnicaly none.. my full name is MaryBea.. bea is part of my first name like MaryJoe or MaryAnn is to others.

2. What size is your bed?  queen but Josh seems to think we should get a king lol

3. What are you listening to? tv on in the background

4. What are the last two digits in your phone number? 77

5.  What was the last thing you ate? KFC's honey bbq wings

6.  Last person you hugged?  my girls

7.  How is the weather right now?  cold and drislling

8.  Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Audra 

10.  Do you have a bf/gf/spouse/sig other? yes husband

12.  Do you drink?  sometimes

13.  Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night?  forgot the entire night? no but times where the details were sketchy.

14.  Hair color?  blond

15.  Eye color?  blue

16.  Fav baseball team? none

17.  Fav animal?  white tigers

18.  Favorite season?  spring

19.  Ever cried for no reason?  yes

20.  Last movie you watched? Simon Birch (I cried)

29.  What book are you reading?  none right now

30.  Piercings?  my ears

31.  Favorite movie? The Princess Bride

32.  Favorite college team? umm.. lol none

33.  What are you doing right now? avoiding going to bed

34.  Any pets?  YES

35.  Dog or cat?   cat and fish

36.  Favorite flower?  any

37.  Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?  yes

38.  Have you ever loved someone?  yes, very much

39.  Who would you like to see right now? Josh

40.  Are you stillfriends with your ex's? nope lost all contact with them

41.  Have you ever fired a gun?  yes

42.  Do you like to travel by plane? not really

43.  Right or left handed?  right

44.  If you could be with someone right now, who would it be?  my husband

45.  How many pillows do you sleep with?  i have alot on my bed but i only use two to sleep with

46.  Are you missing someone?  yes

47.  Do you have a tattoo?  yes

48.  Do you watch cartoons on Saturday morning? sometimes but most of them suck

49.  Are you hiding something from someone?  no

50.  Do you play an instrument?  nope

 Who'm I tagging?

everybody, if your reading this, your tagged by me and I demand that you do this!!!!!!!!!! And I'm coming to see if you did it. : )

Friday, January 20, 2006

The rundown on how my birthday went.

Yesterday.. my birthday.. had it's nice surprises and not so nice ones too.  I have been sick and tiered and needed the rest sooo badly.  So badly that I over slept and didn't get my girls off to school.  I should of gotten up.. had the alarm set but.. I must of turned it off when it first went off and never got up and slept till almost 10 a.m.  I should of just then gotten my butt moving and taken them in late but.. I didn't and just laid around and let them watch t.v.  Lilly, Sophia and Annie did wake me from one of my mini naps with a plate of birthday cake and sang me "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"  in bed.  Very sweet yes.  Zane and Annie had made me the cake Monday and I had kept in the fridge for my day, because really... who wants to make their own birth cake right?  My angels had altier motives behind serving me cake in bed though.  They took that as their cue to eat my cake too.. ALL OF THE CAKE. Nice breakfast huh? LOL  Lilly my little artist made me a card with a picture of her and me on it.  She said it was her taking care of me because I was sick.. awww yess very sweet.

After I found the strength to get out of bed and go down stairs and finally be responsible and interact with my offspring I had another surprise in store for me.  Annie told me while I was asleep one of the schools called to vairf the absence and asked if they were going to be coming in today.  She said she did not know, they oversle and she told the school I was still in bed!  Ohh the Horror.. sure she was just being honest but mann I bet that school thinks I suck as a parent now. I did have to scold her a little, she knows she is NOT allowed to answer the phone and if she does she is supposed to bring it to me.  I HAVE taught them phone edict because that IS one of my pet peeves when I call over to other ppls house and their kids answer but don't know how to talk to an adult properly lol. 

So after I got over my embarrassment and surveyed the damage done to the living room and kitchen I noticed a kitchen chair out of place in the living room pushed up to the tv hutch. I asked Annie why the chair was there and not at the table.  She said Sophia must of done that.  Why I asked.  *sigh* Annie said she had taken my video/digital camera away from Sophia and put it up there to keep it away from her.  The camera.. very expensive piece of equipment that I use as my sole way of taking pictures and posting the wonderful photos you see in my blog, was NOT on top of the tv where Annie said she had left it.  I grill Sophia asking her what happen, where is it and all that.  She was not budging and insisting she did not know.  My patience was running out and I admit it.. I had to spank her bottom to get her to show me and after she did go and get it I can see why she didn't want to own up to it.  SHE BROKE IT.. AND BROKE IT GOOD!!!! OHHHHHHHHMANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO  ME!! NOT!  I kept it together... did not scream and shout and I DID NOT beat her, i held that urge in with all my being and said, "SOPHIA LYNN YOU BETTER GET UP TO YOUR ROOM BEFORE I HURT YOU"  And knowing that she had really did a bad thing and seeing how upset I was she RAN to her room.  It looks like she some how figured out how to take the min tape out of the camera and tried to SHOVE it back in.. and she jammed it and bent little metal brackets inside the camera and maybe, i'm not sure scratched the heads.  I was able to get the tape out but not close the opening it comes out of.  Soooo I am out of a video and a camera.. I have no clue where to take it to get fixed or how much it will cost.  It is like I am back in the dark ages with pictures now and have to do it all the old way.. oh no.. yuck.  Any one have a digital camera they would like to gift to me?????? LOL  I SOOO do not have the money to buy even a cheap one right now (we are so so broke)

At the height of all this madness my dear friend Audra (the neat F R E A K) called to wish me a happy birthday and to tell me she had a gift for me and she was going to come over.  I have been sick most of the week and lazy and with getting up late the girls did a good number on the house so I was in another panic to clean up... but not panicked enough to REALLY clean.  I barked at Annie and Lilly to help me hide this laundry and dishes and mail ... you know the whole gambit.  But we were not quick enough and she was at my door faster than I figured. 

She had brought one of the little girls she babysits with, a little friend Sophia likes to play with but I told her Sophia is in big trouble and not allowed to play but she could play with Lilly.  She comes in and sees that I am still sick and then sees my house.  Oh Mary.. what happen, she says.  She gives me a case of Diet Pepsi (oh sweet nectar) as my birthday gift because she knew I was out and I am so addicted and then goes directly into cleaning my house. I tell her nooooooo don't do that.. you'll only make me feel worse about it all.  Ofcource she doesn't listen and spends the next hour cleaning my house.. but I will admit it.. I am grateful for the help.  I made Sophia come downstairs and sit on the recliner while the other girls played.  She was sitting there crying and carring on.  I have learned how to tune her out when she is like that because it is all drama and not real crying but Audra is surprised that my normally well behaved child is like that at home and comments how she was perfect when she watched her the day before.  Yes my kids know how to put on a good front for others when we are out in public (because if they don't they know they will be in double trouble) but at home they are less angelic.  Before Audra leaves she gives me a birthday card that was so sweet and meaningful it made me bawl my eyes out!  She says that is how you know it is a good card, if the person reviving it turns into a puddle of tears.  She is good like that, never forgets anyone's birthdays or anniversaries.. one of her giftings.  Audra really did MAKE my day!

Yesterday was like Grand Central around here.  My phone was ringing off the hook (and that never happens).  It was sweet all the birthday wishes from those who remembered but my voice was straining as it was.  How bad is it that I mostly let my phone go to voice mail?? LOL

BUT I have been eating hot soup and am all rested up now and my  voice has improved sooo much.. I think I am about out of the woods.  I am still debating if I am going to go tomorrow to the prayer vigil at PP.  I would have to take all the kids with me and it is a nice drive into Saint Louis and with money tight I am not sure if I should spare the gas since we WILL, ok, Lord willing, be driving down town STL on Sunday to be at the Arch for Missouri Right To Life Event.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

In Honnor of my B-Day.. something for me to keep in mind over the next year..

From the Laugh and Lift daily e-mail group. http://www.laughandlift.com/list.html


Thought for Today

Don't work for recognition, but do work worthy of recognition.


The Laugh

My Bedside Table

Old age is catching up with me,
From my toes up to my head.
I felt it most while gazing
At this table by my bed.

I laid my hair piece over there,
My own has grown quite thin.
The hearing aid is next to it;
I'm deaf 'til its put in.

Also, I can't see a thing,
Without my glasses on.
They're beside my false teeth;
Yes, my own are gone.

I kinda get the feeling
As at those things I stare......
There's less of me here in this bed
Than on that table there.


OK I'M NOT THATTTTTTT OLD... YET. LOL but I thought it was funny.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Mary Goes to Jefferson City, MO to be Silent NO More!

Today was so awesome... I wish I could of gotten better pictures to convey all that went on.  For one  it was very very very dark inside and the pics I do have you can tell I had to do some heavy lightening to them ( flash for my digital camera is high on my wish list).  Another was I was just too busy being apart of it all to stand back and take more pictures..and you know how I love taking pictures.








Today we attended Missouri Right To Life's Pro-Life event at our state's capitol.  They had many wonderful guest speakers and the prayer was very powerful, being echoed threw out the halls of the building.  My group did not speak but we had a table that had many visitors to it.  I know God was doing a mighty work today.  I don't even know where to begin!

First off it was a wonderful opportunity just to get to know Amy better and have fellowship with her.  We drove out together and had lengthy, beautiful conversations.  She is so sweet and kind and a very strong women in the Lord.  I can see why God has chosen to use her in the awesome ways he has.  She has that gentle spirit about her and is so easy to talk to.  I always feel a special bond with ladies I meet threw Silent No More because of all people they know JUST what I have gone threw and can understand the greatest.  With them I don't have to explain my grief and the pain I went threw or why I have to do what I do and that alone is a blessing.

I wish I could of kept a list of all the people we talked to and the titles they had but God knows who they are and the info past on to them he will use in his timing. Even if we don't see the fruit of it all, HE DOES.  A card passed along to a friend who is hurting, a pamphlet used to show a women or man how abortion hurts not helps, the phone number where there is help.. so much wealth of info and ways God can move! 

It was interesting to do people watching too.  How some would "work up" approaching our table and pass by it a few times before they could actually come up to us and talk to us and take information.  I did notice, surprisingly, many men took the pamphlet about loss of fatherhood and we had to put more out. 

Another blessing were these two young high school girls who visited our table.  They were at the capitol for a different event but just had to come up and talk with Amy.  One was 5 months pregnant and the other already a mother.  They shared how they had been pressured by people to get an abortion but just couldn't do it and how in their area teen pregnancy is so high and knew of girls who got abortions.  It was like taking a time warp and looking into the mirror years ago their stories were so similar to mine.  I hope they know how they encouraged us and I pray that we helped them with the info we gave them about pregnancy resources that could help them. There are many organizations that help mothers and mother's to be.. a myth I keep seeing is that Pro life ppl don't care about women and the children after the babies are born.. that is sooo far from the truth! 

At this event and the one I attended Friday I had a few women come up to me and tell me about their grief over misscarring and loosing a child that way.  In many ways our grief is similar as in it is not recognize or publicized in our society and women feel like they have to grieve alone or in silence.  We are mothers with out our children and we miss being able to hold them, and raise them and all the things motherhood is about but for me anyway, I look forward to when I do finally see my aborted daughter, Beautiful, in heaven and we can meet and have long walks and conversations together on those streets paved in gold.

I wish we could of spent the whole day there and got to tour more of the capitol and speak with our representatives but it was a juggling act for both Amy and I to get there and be there for the time we were and get back to Saint Louis by 4.  I am thankful for my friend Audra who helped me out with the girls by watching Sophia and picking up Lilly and Annie from school.  With out her support I could not of gone and I pray God would give her a special blessing.  Today was a wonderful, in a bitter sweet kind of way, experience for me and I am looking forward to the other events that are coming up this weekend (takes my mind off the fact that I am turning 29 tomorrow haha) 

Again I ask you to keep me and my family in prayer this week.  My voice again is almost gone and ifmy cold doesn't lift by Saturday I may not attend the prayer service outside PlannedParenthood but I do want to still attend the event that is going on down at the Arch Sunday .  These events are so important and uplifting to be apart of but they do take alot out of me and with Josh being gone it is a little bit harder to fangle how to do it all with the kids in tote.


Tuesday, January 17, 2006

News paper clippings and just a few snap shots Josh took... we have the best parts on video and I hope to some how figure out how to get a clip on to my computer so I can e-mail it to those who may be interested or put it on DVD.  Josh was so focused on video taping that he didn't get any pics of me while I was making my speech!   This is why I am the camera person in the family but I had to give over control since I was apart of the event this time and not in the audience.


Sorry it has taken so long for me to update.  I know some of you are wondering and have asked how it went.  I have been a bit under the weather this week and my voice is about to go out on me (go figure) plus Josh is planning a trip out of town and is taking Zane with him.  Funny how my life works.  For the most part it is slow and easy going around here and then all at once there is bursts of activity and it gets crazy.

The 5th Annual Prayer Vigil put on last Friday by Missouri Right To Life, Lincoln County Chapter, was really awesome.  I feel honored and very bless that God allowed me to be apart of it all and speak to those in my community about an issue that is very important to me and to our country.  It was the first time I was able to represent Silent No More Awareness Campaign on my own.

It was held at Troy City Hall and had standing room attendance.  A very good turn out for such a small area if you ask me.  The youth group was from the local Baptist Church and they put on a few entertaining skits.  The guest speaker, Dr Onder, had a very informative power point presentation about stem cell research.  He talked and showed us the difference between adult stem cells, embryonic stem cells and how they both are harvested and used.  He talked about some of the myths and realities about the two kinds of research.  Here are a few websites with more info on that subject if you would like more info: http://www.thecbc.org/  http://www.stemcellresearch.org/index.html

and the Doctor's e-mail address is rfounder@centurytel.net if you would like to ask him any questions. 

I was some what nervous before the event.  I thought I had my testimony all prepared and it was just a matter of printing it out but instead I spent  most of the day writing one out.  I am glad I have written so much and was able to draw alot from my past writings.  I'll post later my testimony that I gave.  After I got up to speak God's calm and peace took over and it all went by very fast but I was told I spoke clearly and all my major points came across well.  I am a shy person and for the most part quiet so it was a little overwhelming afterwards when people wanted to come up to me and talk to me and shake my hand.  Some said it took courage to say what I had to say and other said they were proud of me.  While it is true that it did take courage for me to speak I give God all the glory.  I think I was just obedient and did what was asked of me, I try and not think of it as such a big deal anymore and let myself get puffed up.  If only all the women who have been hurt by abortion got up and spoke... what a tremendous impact that would make!!

At the close of the event we had prayer and a candle light vigil.  A candle for each year Roe Vs Wade has been legal.  An announcer read each year and told of the major events that happen in that year and then read the number of abortions that took place and the corresponding candle was blown out.  It was very powerful and I did cry a little bit.

In America, for the last 33 year over 44 MILLION babies have lost their life because of abortion.  One about every 23 seconds!

Tomorrow Josh and Zane leave for out of town.  And tomorrow morning I am heading out to Jeff City for more Pro-Life events.  Saturday I am going to another prayer vigil and Sunday down town at the Arch for a Missouri Right To Life Event.  Please keep me and my family in prayer. ((HUGS))

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

More dates and info on how to be Silent No More

Below is a copy of the Silent No More News letter I recieved today.  It has dates and times and meeting places and other contact info for events going on nation wide.  It is very encouraging and gives tips on how to prepare for a gathering.  I found it very helpful and uplifting.  I hope and pray by sharing it here others will read it and find the courage and strength to either take part or start those baby steps in healing and facing their hurts.

January 10, 2006

Dear Silent No More Awareness Friends,

Happy New Year!

Opportunities to be silent no more occur throughout the year, but at no point is there more focus on our message than in the next few weeks when our culture en masse looks at abortion on January 22nd, the actual day the Supreme Court handed down the Roe vs. Wade decision that made abortion legal.  It's the
one opportunity every year to raise awareness and get some help from the media!!!

That's why we use this time to plan Gatherings to happen over the next few weeks nationwide. We have 20 Gatherings planned where we'll break the silence and join our voices together to tell the truth about abortion and share the message of hope and forgiveness we have for those still locked in silence or
contemplating an abortion.

The symbolism behind our solidarity in speaking out at the same time nationwide has been effective in reaching many women and men who are now going through healing programs because they heard our message and responded. WE WANT TO REACH EVEN MORE THIS YEAR!!!

As the co-founders of this Campaign, we know that in order to reach the hurting, we need more wherewithal than we have on our own; so we approach this season by renewing our own commitment to God, seeking His guidance, help, and intercession, and recognizing our own limitations and shortcomings!

The story of King Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles, chapter 20 is inspiring us about how we need to approach this unique time of year (fasting, prayer, praise and worship - verses 1-13) and gives a great illustration of
God's power to fight this battle for life. It also encourages us not to be afraid of what's going to happen (verses 15-17) and assures us of victory with God's help (verses 18-27). In our case the victory is in all the people who will seek help and all those who finally see abortion hurts more than it helps, leaving many victims in addition to our babies.

King Jehoshaphat also reminds us to trust God as He calls us to share our stories at the Gatherings. The king had to have faith in God to help him defend their property; he couldn’t hide or expect others to do it for him. The king had to go for it by faith.

It's scary to go out and bear your soul and regret in public - but we want to encourage you to ask God prayerfully if that is what He is calling you to do. Is He asking you to walk by faith and not by sight? (Hebrews 11) A recent passage in Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest says it well...Let the
attitude of your life be a continual willingness to ‘go out’ in dependence upon God, and your life will have a sacred and inexpressible charm about it that is very satisfying to Jesus.

While we will never pressure anyone to share their testimony, we do want to encourage all of us to never let fear keep us from trusting God and living to bring Him glory. We want to make the most of the opportunity to raise awareness about abortion - so please remember the exhortation of Jesus, Pope John Paul, and the Cowardly Lion - TAKE COURAGE! Be not afraid!

Here is a list of where Gatherings are taking place, please contact the Regional Coordinators and let them know if you will be participating. Remember, people are welcome to attend to hear our testimonies, hold
"I Regret My Abortion/Lost Fatherhood" signs (often a first step in sharing testimony) and sharing 3 minute testimonies.


1.Join us for the National Event in Washington, DC!  Monday, January 23, 2006 at 4 pm in front of the Supreme Court. (following the March for Life)  If you plan to participate with Silent No More Awareness in Washington DC - please send an email to Sheila@NOELforLife.org  or call her at 800-707-6635, so she can give you information about hotel accommodations, etc.  We are also thinking about having a time to gather, pray and visit so please let us know if you're interested in getting more information about those plans.

2.Alabama, Birmingham - Saturday, January 21, 2006, 12 noon to 1:30pm Brother Bryan Park. Serena Mitchell, 205-982-1536, throughhisgrace@mindspring.com  Joy Boyd, 205-621-0247, DBoyd3968@charter.net

3.Arizona, Phoenix - Sunday, January 22, 2006, Joan Maloof, 480-471-8706, jjmgm@cox.net

4.California, Riverside - Friday, January 27, 2006, 12 noon to 1:30pm next to Riverside City Hall.  For information contact Karen Reynoso at 951-361-9355or renewedhope@earthlink.net.

5.Connecticut, Hartford – January 22nd, 2006 Rachel Torres O’Leary, 203-313-0101, torresoleary@yahoo.com

6.Florida, Ocala - January 14, 2006 from 12 noon to 2 p.m in Town Square.  Contact Mabel Ryan at 352-854-8892 or gulcry@cs.com or Gail at 352-291-7601 or gaildermfl@hotmail.com.

7.Florida, Sanford - January 21, 2006 at 12 noon at Magnolia Square on First St. in historic downtown Sanford.  For more information contact Laurie Wren at lwren2001@aol.com or call 407-333-0404 or 1-866-967-HOPE. 

8.Idaho, Boise – January 28th, Barbara Gough, 208.284.4922, hiswillnotmine@hotmail.com

9.Illinois, Chicago - January 10, 2006 at 11 am at the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. Contact Renee by email at purplelatte@insightbb.com or phone at 608-365-5433.

10.Indiana, Fort Wayne - January 28, 2006 at 12 noon at the Scottish Rite Auditorium on Berry Street with Dr Alveda King as keynote speaker. The SNM event takes place in front of the building which houses offices and court rooms for our federal representatives. The Gathering will begin at approx. 1:30pm with the SNM speakers along with Dr. King. This lasts approx. one half
hour.  For more information contact Julie Brown at nana7142@hotmail.com or 260-463-7142. 

11.Michigan, Monroe - Friday, January 20 at 3 pm in St. Mary's Park in Monroe, MI. For more information contact Christine Stevens at silentnomoredetroit@yahoo.com or 313-520-9446. 

12.Minnesota, St. Paul - January 21, 2006, 12 noon to 2 pm at the State Capitol inside the rotunda.  For more information contact Ann Marie at Silent No More Minnesota at 763-536-8800 or e-mail at silentnomoremn@hotmail.com

13.Missouri, Jefferson City- January 18, 2006 at 12:00 Noon at the State Capitol, Amy Martin, 636-273-0496, amy@clothedwithjoy.org

14.North Carolina, Charlotte - January 19, 2006 at 12:00 Noon at the corner of Trade and Tryon Streets.  For more information contact  Andrea Hines at HinesAL@aol.com or 704-996-4597 or Katherine Hearn at moby5@carolina.rr.com or 704-877-2551. 

15.Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh - Market Square.  For more information contact Georgette Forney at georgette@noelforlife.org or at 1-800-707-6635. 

16.Texas, Dallas - January 21, 2006, 11 am, Downtown, Patti Pfeiffer-Parr, 972-874-5640, pattip913@verizon.net

17.Texas, Corpus Christie - January 21, 2006, 11 am across from the abortion clinic on the corner of Morgan and Crosstown. Sister Anne Sophie, 361-814-7685, savesoul@swbell.net

18.Washington, Seattle - Saturday, January 28, 2006 at Westlake Park.  Gather at noon, begin speaking at 12:30 pm, will end around 1:30 pm.  For more information contact Mary Emanuel at 206-853-6874 or mde@firstwebsites.com.

19.Wisconsin, Madison - January 19, 2006, 12 noon at the State Capitol.  For more information contact Leslie Graves at lbgraves@aol.com

Healing/Prayer Services

1. New York, Garnerville -  An Afternoon of Prayerful Remembrance and Intercession.  We gather to pray and intercede on behalf of our entire nation, seeking forgiveness and healing in God's merciful love. Prayer Service, January 21, 2006 1pm-4pm, Holy Sacrifice of the Mass Location: Church of St. Gregory Barbarigo 21 Cinder Road Garnerville, NY 10923-1131 For further information call: Theresa Bonopartis - 1-877-586-4621 or tbonop@optonline.net.

2) Wisconsin, Wautoma - January 19, 2006 at 7 pm at the Crossroads Family Church.  For more information contact JoAnn Jones Holden at 920-987-5221 or e-mail her at ctr22969@centurytel.net. 

Locations where people will carry Silent No More Awareness Campaign Signs.

1) Arkansas, Little Rock, - Debbie Magee is organizing people to hold Campaign signs during their March for Life event at the capitol in Little Rock on January 22nd. For more information contact Debbie at 479-313-3756, mageed1@cox.net

2) California, San Francisco - The Walk for Life walk will begin at Justin Herman Plaza and end at the Marina Greens. The Rally starts at 11 am and the Walk follows. visit the website: http://www.walkforlifewc.com./ for exact details. Contact Barbara Gough at 208.284.4922, hiswillnotmine@hotmail.com or Karen Reynoso at 951-361-9355, renewedhope@earthlink.net

We are so honored to work with you all to raise awareness about abortion. Please join us in praying, fasting, praising and worshipping our Awesome God, trusting Him for the victory.  Feel free to contact us if you have any questions or concerns and remember... we will be silent no more.

Janet Morana, 888-PFL-3448, Janet@PriestsforLife.org
Georgette Forney, 800-707-NOEL, Georgette@NOELforLife.org

When sharing your testimony, please remember to keep it to three minutes or 1000 words! Here are some tips to help you prepare it:

Information for Writing Your Testimony

These are recommended guidelines to help us effectively share how God has taken our tragic abortion experience and transformed it into a testimony of His love, forgiveness, hope, and joy.

Preparing your testimony about how abortion has affected your life can seem overwhelming. 

Sometimes getting started is most difficult. It helps to start by putting everything about your abortion out on paper. Then you can whittle it down to a couple of pages, then whittle that down to one page (3 minutes). Below we have some beginning sentences to prompt you. Keeping it brief is extremely hard but
important, especially for the Silent No More Awareness Gatherings.

This information, plus lots of practice, and prayer will be plenty to prepare you to share the truth.

Please remember to talk about your abortion experience, personal testimony is the most powerful voice of truth. It's tempting to interject comments about the laws, or editorialize but YOUR story is what people need to hear.

Sample comments to Seek to Answer in Testimony
*    I am speaking today because I regret my abortion and I...
*    They did not tell me about the risks or the consequences I would suffer later like...
*    If you have had an abortion, I want you to know...
*    The most important thing about abortion I think people and all women need to know is...

Key Points
*    Make sure you provide the following information in your statement:
o    I had an abortion because...
o    During the abortion procedure I experienced...
o    Immediately after the abortion I felt...
o    As time went on after the abortion I felt...
o    I found help and forgiveness through...
o    It's great if your last line includes "and that's why I am silent no more!" For example, "after years of such and such pain, I went through a healing program and was able to receive God's forgiveness and forgive myself, I finally feel free from the shame and that's why I am silent no more!"
*    Make sure it is brief. Each testimony for the Gatherings MUST BE no longer than 3 minutes.
*    Try to use short, impact statements. They are memorable.
*    Have a friend who can pray for you while you prepare and when you actually share it.
*    Read your statement out loud lots times before the event; then read it to a friend.
*    If you've had more than one abortion, you can either discuss all of them or focus on the experience of one of them.
*    If participating in a Gathering, we recommend printing testimony in big font and place in sheet protector facing out so you can read without having to shuffle papers.

What not to say...

Please don't talk about various projects, programs you're involved in. This isn't time to make editorial comments about abortion, it about telling your story of how abortion affected you.The Gathering isn't the forum to share opinions about legislation or political candidates/parties.

To those in MO who would like to join in the Silent No More Awareness Campain

Here is an e-mail I received today from Amy, our area's coordinator, about the dates and times available for us to participate.  If you would like to join us, even if only as a form a support, feel free to contact me or Amy,

Hey Precious Ladies,

I wanted to let you know about two opportunities to be Silent No More in the state of Missouri this month.  

We have been invited to participate in the Missouri Right to Life activities on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 at noon at the Missouri state capital in Jefferson City. Silent No More will have a table set up with information about the truth of the devastating effects of abortion and resources for those who may be hurting. Media will be there, senators, congressmen & clergy will be there. It will be a great opportunity to share the truth.

We have also been invited to participate in the Missouri Right to Life Rally on Sunday, January 22, 2006 at 9:00 a.m. at the St. Louis Arch grounds. This is another great opportunity for people in the St. Louis area to hear the truth. 

Please pass this information on to the women in your ministries and pray about attending one of these events. Let me know if you have any questions. 
Only By His Mercy and Grace,


“You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that I may sing to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.” Psalm 30:11,12


Amy's e-mail address is:  amy@shinyhappypeople.org


If you would like more info about Silent No More and what an event may be like check out their website at http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/


Here is a link to a journal entry I had written after I took part last year,



Monday, January 9, 2006

5 Crazy Things Tag & 5 Wonderful Things

Something is up with 5s and tag this week.  I have also been tagged for the 5 things that drive you crazy quiz by Blissful001.  I first saw this in a few of my normal reads but avoided trying to think on my own answers because I have been trying oh so hard to be in grateful mode and not complain.. remember back in Nov. that challenge put forth by my Pastor???  I am sure I have had my moments since then but in general I have so much more to be grateful for then to get crazy angry about.  Can I change the quiz to 5 things you are grateful for instead?? LOL  Maybe I will add that to the bottom of the quiz.    Ok. so here are 5 things that make me nuts but I try not to dwell on them and effect me...

1.  Tellamarketers and Bill Collectors that try and get you to stay on  the phone with a non human computer recording.   You know it is one of them when you see the unfamiliar number on the caller ID and are tempted to just let it go to voice mail but know if you don't answer they will just keep calling till some fool picks up.  So when you do bite the bullet and answer the unknown caller on the ID it is some what insulting to get a machine saying to the effect, " Please stay on the line for one of our representatives.  We really need to talk to you"  THAT OR there is nothing but dead air when you pick up because a computer has been dialing your phone number and hasn't switched over to a live person yet and you are sitting there going " HELLO.. HELLO.. HELLOOOOO!"  Ya that drives me crazy.. CLICK!!

2. Customer Service jobs being shipped overseas.  Since we are on the subject of phone edict.. There is just something fundamentally wrong when I call in to a company (I think we all know who I mean) with a problem and need to talk to a live person and after going threw a maze of computer prompts and long waits on hold to finnianly be connected with a person with what is so OBVIOUSLY a fake Americanized name like Shane or Harry who can barely pronounce it and I can not understand a lick of what they are saying from their thick Indian accent and they can not understand what I am trying to say because it is their first day on the job and have no clue what is going on and even if they did know how to answer my question can't because English is not their first or even second language. (yes that was a run-on sentence)  HELLO.. my 4yrd speaks better English and knows more about computers than this person!  Ya that drives me really crazy and another reason to go CLICK!

3. PEOPLE WHO WRITE A TEN PAGE JOURNAL ENTRY OR E-MAIL ALL IN CAPS.  I know many people who make excuses for this type of writing and I can understand a few lines of all caps but if an Author writes their whole journal in caps I just CANT AND WONT follow along.  Internet 101 people... all caps is considered bad form and yelling online, plus it can be hard to read and your point will not get across. If you can't read and write in lower case then use a bigger font or get a bigger computer screen or just PLEASE get glasses.

4.  Ads on the top of AOL Journals!!!  Yessss it still drives me bonkers and I have NOT let it all go and moved on.  I keep a running list in my head of each ad I see and make sure I do NOT patronize those companies and try not to cuss when I see it is one that I do do buiss with.  We are still looking into other alternatives to AOL and yes I have been dragging my feet about cutting AOL.. but don't mistake that as acceptance of ow they have treated ME and other fellow bloggers.  I have lost all respect for AOL and the people who work for and with them.  I do keep a mirror blog over at myspace and blogger... lol but I am constantly forgetting my sn and password for blogger and I like myspace well enough but it just isn't the same.  When I do see the ads I want to so badly flip the big bird at my computer screen but then I realize no one will see it but my children who happen to be sitting by my side so I resist the urge.         !@!#!$!%

5.  Taco Bell does NOT take credit/debit cards.  The local Taco Bell in Troy MO does not take my card at the drive thru where as every other restaurants and fast food joint does.  HELLO... GET WITH THE TIMES!  This wouldn't be so annoying because  I don't go to Taco Bell that often but I forget every time I do go that they only take cash and ofcourse I only remember right after I have ordered and am in line to get my food.  Their solution.. have me run into the lobby where they have an ATM that does NOT give you cash but a receipt that you take up to the cashier and charge you an arm and a leg in transaction fees.  What the...  Yes I am being conditioned like the rest of us to live in a cashless society and it is scary how much I depend on that card vs carrying cash, I think that drives me more crazy then the fact Taco Bell does not take my card.

Well..that got my blood good and boiling and I just thought of like 5 other things I could add to that list lol but taking a deep breath, calming down.. awww... much better.  To get me back into grateful mode here is a list of 5 things I am thankful for..

1. My husband is home.  After having him gone for almost 3 1/2 months that is a no brainer.  I am grateful for the work that took him away from us and the money it provided but I am double grateful that he is finally home and sleeping in our bed next to me.  I only pray he will get a job..in town this time please please Lord, before this love fest runs out and I will be less then happy about him being home and longing again for those times he was on the road lol.

2.  My house.  If you have read my blog since the start of last summer you know the saga of our house search and the joy of our first time home buying.  I still marvel as I walk from room to room or when I pull up in our drive way that, to me anyway, we live in this mini mansion.Sometimes buyer's remorse will over take Josh but with all the little glitches and probs that come up I just roll with it because I love this house and could not dare ask for anything more.  If you had told me a year ago that we would live in our own house much less a 4 bedroom with a loft and a den/office and all the modern amenities, I would of called you nuts.  Now.. if only I could afford a maid or house keeper lol jk.

3.  Good friends.  Sometimes I am a bit of a home body but I do have friends and they are always there when I need them the most.  I only hope that I can bless them as much as they bless me and that they know how much I love them and how enriching they make my life. *wink*

4.  My children.  Some people look at me crazy when I tell them I have 4 children (I always want to say 5 but then I would have to go into more detail then the situation warrants).  Some people just can't imagine how anyone can live with all those children.. like it is so many lol and if you had told me after Annie that we would have a house full of little ones I would of crossed my legs and told you to shut up and not to curse me in that way lol.  But I have come to know that children are a blessing and not a curse.. I would have more if I could.  I am grateful that I can have any at all knowing that with my first child, the one I aborted, I could of caused damage and not been able to carry to term like some other women I know of.  I was given a second and a third and fourth and fifth chance to be a mother and I am thankful for that privilege.  My children fill my life with such joy and love, even when it is not all roses and we are struggling, I would not trade it for anything.  I don't know why God saw me fit to raise these wonderful humans and I often feel like I fail but God gets me threw and I learn and grow so much just by seeing life threw my children's eyes.

5.  God's promises that I can stand on.  Sometimes we can't see where the road in life is taking us and hope seems to be a far fetch thing, that is when knowing what God's Word says about you and his love for you is so important.  He promises us so much and he has always kept them to me.  He is not like man where we fail to keep our word, no his ways are not like our ways and his thoughts are not like our thoughts.  He gives us promises to stand on and believe on and we can trust that even in the darkest of night and in the loneliest of hours.. he is there and will never leave nor forsake us.  I am grateful that I don't have to know it all or keep it all under my control.. that it is all in his hands and I don't have to worry or fret but just follow his will for my life, even when that will leads me to hard things to go threw because I know he is doing a mighty work and changing me from Glory to Glory.

Wow.. that was deep!  I do notice I feel soooooooo much better after counting my blessings as opposed to the bitter feeling from counting my woe.

NOW..who should I tag???? TAG..WHO EVER has not  done this tag yet and are reading this and has a journal.  You just have to do the first 5 things that make you crazy but if you want to count 5 blessings too I think that would be neat-o.  Don't forget to leave a link in the comment section of this post when you do it.

Sunday, January 8, 2006

5 odd/quirky things about me tag..

Rebecca gave out a blanket tag and I am feeling like exposing some embarrassing stuff about myself so here we go ... lol...

1.  I can't get my children's names straight.  I have 4 children and am constantly calling them by the wrong names.  Sure that is every parent's right and my mom would occasionally do that with us growing up.. but mine is bad and so sad.  The ones who I mostly mix up is Lilly and Sophia.. the youngest and closest in age.  It is pittiful when Lilly in her most aggravated and exaggerated tone say.. "um mom.. you mean Lilly.. that is my name.. not Sophia" for the fifth time that day and I could be looking right at them, not just yelling from another room. I call my oldest daughter Annie by my sister's name all the time too.. Marcy.  I was talking to my friend Amy the other day and instead of saying Annie in the story I was relaying I interchanged it with Marcy and of course this totally confused Amy but she knows I have a tendency to do this and gave me a hard time for the rest of our conversation lol. Since Zane is my only boy it is rare to do it to him but it happens when I have a brain fart and he gets called either Josh or by my brother's name Tommy.  I guess I should just stick to calling them by their nick names and be safe that way.   

2. I don't like to wear socks.  Only when I HAVE to do I.  If you ask Josh I am sure he would say this is one of the top things he would like to change about me.  Winter sucks because I cant wear sandals or flip flops and have to hunt for socks to wear with my tennies and often I just slip them on with out socks.. and you can imagine why Josh would hate that heehee.. but I have found a way around it this year.  I have taken to wear flats more often the tennis shoes and can get away with no socks with them but I have found out that nylons are nice substitute and make me feel more grown up.  One of the reasons I don't like to wear socks is I hardly own any of my own and have to wear some one else.  We have a BIG sock pile basket.. one of these days I should pair them all up lol.

3.  I don't wear underwear either.  I have just a few granny ones for those special occasions when I wear a dress to church.. too much info for you huh lol sorry strugging to find things to write down.  I don't really see the point of them..unless there is a medical one.  Maybe one day when I am all skinny and hot I will try out wearing those sexy ones for Josh's eyes only hahaha.. ya as if.

4. I belch all the time.  I just let them rip.  Around here a long loud burp is to be celebrated not covered up and stifled.  No, it is not very lady like and yes, I am being a bad example to my children.. lol another thing I am sure Josh would like to change about me.

5. I hardly wear make-up. For one, it is too much work to do everyday if no one is going to see it and appreciate how beautiful I am lol And another is it is expensive IMOP and there is JUST too many choices.. I like to keep it simple.  I do use Oil Of Olay mosituriser and that is in my basic routine.. that's my little secret.. why I look so good for my age.. lol jk But it is something I picked up when we lived with my grandma when I was 15.  My mom never actually sat me down and showed me how to apply make up so I had to learn it all on my own.    Took forever for me to figure out the right shade of foundation for me and I think that is part of the reasons that I like to stay pale white and avoid tanning.. lol so I dont have to figure out another shade to use.  I freaked out about my make-up when we did the TIME photoshoot.  I hadn't worn make-up in like a year and all that I had was old and needed to be thrown away.  I splurged and got new Cover Girl foundation, eyeliner and mascara.  Another reason I pretty much gave up wearing make-up is so I don't have to listen to my husband's groans of impatience because I take so long to get ready when I do wear it and he says he prefers me with out the war paint as he has put it.

So to sum it up.. I am an uncouth, memory challenged chick in need of an over all make-over.

Your turn.. tag.. your it, leave a link so I can read it.

Friday, January 6, 2006

LOOK WHAT I GET TO WAKE UP TO EVERYDAY..one more project finished

I have been waiting ever since we moved and got this gigantic bedroom to have something done to this BIG BARE WALL.  Back in October Josh took the baseboard down and smoothed out the texture that was on the walls and there it sat and sat while he was gone.  

We picked this mural out together when we decided that we wanted to go with a Greek/Roam theme for our room. This is the only one we both liked that had colliums in it and a fountain.  I love how it feels like you are about to walk off a patio from our bedroom and enjoy a nice bottle of wine from one of the vineyards below. You would think it would cost more to put one of these large wall length murals up but really with all the materials it was just around $100.  I have seen them on line for so much more. I can't wait till we get our taxes back and can get the bed room set that will go so well with this murial.  Our house is starting to come together and feel like a home!!

What do you think?

Thursday, January 5, 2006

Surfing In Style and It's Good To Have A Man Around

Terrible Pic taken with web cam : P


Hunybea's Open Journal is currently being brought to you via my hubby's sweet wireless lap top.  He hooked up the wireless router today so we can have his puter hooked to the net too.  Now I can chat, blog, and e-mail from the comfort of my recliner or bed lol.  A girl could get used to this heehee.

I tell you what else I could get used to... Josh actually doing stuff around here!  He helped hang the canopeeies for the girl's beds (pictures later), plunged a stopped up toilet, bought and promises to hang the mural for our bedroom (again picture later),and took the trash out and to the curb. Oh and YES, he did get the refridge moved out and the new one in!  Now.. if I could only get a little help getting these CHRISTmas decorations down. 

Yes it is nice having the hubby home.  No word yet when or where his next job is so I will just enjoy this while I can. 


BBL with all those pictures I keep promising.







Monday, January 2, 2006

Things seemto be coming together

Went and bought a used fridge today. I was a bit stressed on how I was going to get it in the house after they delivered it tomorrow.  It is a small shop I bought it from in town and because they don't keep the extra insurance they only deliver to your door.  My neighbor said he would help me out..if it was delivered after  he got home..but that seems to be moot now.. you'll see in a sec.

Then I took the kids out to brunch at Mickey Ds.  What a mess that was.  I KNOW I taught my children to behave better than that! I guess they were just excited to get a happy meal and since it has been raining they couldn't go dispense that extra energy in the play land outside LOL.  I was going to take them to a movie to make up for not going out of town last weekend and also shoe shopping.  After lunch we headed home so I could check out show times. We have been dying to see Chronicles Of Narnia but have been waiting to see it as a family. I was getting everyone in the house and the neighbor was pulling out and stopped to chat for a few. 

 Then Zane yelled out the door that Josh had just called... He was coming home!!

Josh is coming home!!!! On his way as we speak!  He should be home in time for the kids' bed time : )  (sucks I am on my period!!)  Soooo HE WILL BE HOME TO HELP WITH THE STUPID Refrigerators! YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!  LET'S THROW A PARTY! Guess we will wait to see the movie till tomorrow so we CAN do it as a family!!

I do have mix feelings about him coming home.  We thought he would have two more weeks of steady work to go.  Now we are not sure what is next work wise for him.. that is always fun.  And he has been gone so much.. it is going to take awhile to get used to being around each other so much again.  I always feel like I am letting him down as a home maker and mother and wife and ofcourse right now I am feeling like crap and unmotivated lol and the house could be cleaned more before he gets here.  I am afraid he is not going approve of how I kept it together while he was gone.. I just barely kept the threads from pulling apart it feels like in the edges of our tapestry of life.  And he knows that the kids need him here so badly.. he sees it every time he is home for a short visit or talks on the phone.

I don't know how long he will be home.. he could get another out of town job right away or he could be home for a few weeks (ugh) or better yet he could get on a job here at home in town.  Either way I am glad he is coming home even if we are not sure what is next for us.  God knows it all and he has it in his hands.. so I don't have to worry or fret.. it always works out for the best in time.. God's timing.

With it being January I am getting ready for the pro life activities I am planning on taking part in this month.  January has always been a heavy month for me in terms of dealing with my abortion (as anyone who goes back to my archives can read)  When we went to get photographed for Time a friend of mine gave me a little pin with baby feet on it.  I was wearing it today with my pink sweater.  Lilly noticed it at lunch and asked what it was for.  Sometimes I get flustered on what to say in these kinds of situations and sometimes the right words just pour out.  I told her some one gave that to me.. it is to remind me of a special baby.  Ofcourse she was not satisfied with that answer.. "what baby, can I meet the baby.. I love babies!"  Lilly and Sophia got Cabagepatch Babies for Christmas and are all in "Mommy Mode" right now taking care of them and while it is very cute it is also a bit painful when she askes these questions. I just said it was for a special baby that is now in Heaven.  Lilly was a bit sad over that thought but then she also gave a big smile and exclaimed.. "OH! The baby is with Jesus then!"  (*tears* as I reflect on that statement)  That ended the conversation and she stuffed another french fry in her mouth.

Lilly holding a sign from last year's Silent No More Awareness Event.

Yes, January is going to be a heavy month.  Most of it seeming to center around the week of my birthday (Jan 19th hint hint)  But as time seems to be going these days it will go by fast and February will be here before we know it.  Look how December seemed to pass us at lighting speed!

Sunday, January 1, 2006

Did you make it to Midnight?

Our grand plans of travel fell threw for this weekend.  Josh ended up working both Saturday AND Sunday so I decided to just stay home instead go all that way and not even see him. Needless to say I was in a major funk and sad because I was really looking forward to this trip, not only to see Josh but to see our friends and family in Wis.

I was able to catch Neil Diamond on TV performing Cherry Cherry.. of course I had to call my mom and make sure she was watching too lol and she was. From what I did see of Dick Clark's Rocking around the Clock and what I did see of Dick.. this may very well be his last year.  He looked and sounded so sad, you certainly could tell he had to really work at speaking clearly. Yep it is an end of an erra.  I stayed up most of the night in my room watching sappy movies like "You've Got Mail" (never had seen it before) and "Sleepless In Seattle".  The girls passed out around 10 but Zane made sure everyone was up at 12 to YELL HAPPY  NEW YEAR to everyone.

Josh called me at 12 from a crowed bar that his coworkers had "dragged" him out to.  Glad at least he wasn't alone on the New Year.  I think what added to my poor spirit was I was feeling FAT for like 2 days and seeing all these diet commercials did not help my self esteem any either and then walla.. I started my period.. that explains so much lol.

I decided to let the kids sleep in today and skip church.  We are just now getting all ready and cleaned up to go down to my In Laws.  Annie spent most of the break over there and it is time for her to come home.  We will eat dinner over there and bla bla bla lol then I am coming right home.  You know I don't like to drive after dark either "  }

So what is your goals for this New Year??  I don't normally make any because of course no one ever sticks to them but it is nice to think and reflect about the past year and see what you could of done better or improved on.  One of my long distance family member has said we should make a resolution to keep closer contact together and not let so much time go by with out talking to each other.  That is a nice one and I think I can stick to that.  BUT if ANYONE says to me one more time.. "If Only You Lived Closer"  I think I will scream.  This is where we live now ppl.. learn to live with it because it is not changing anytime soon.  I make the effort to go and visit ppl and talk to ppl.. but how often do people make the effort to come and see us and visit with us??   <end of rant>

May this year be a blessing to each of you and may you grow in leaps and bounds in both your walk with God and in your relationships with others.  That is my prayer this year for myself and for all my family and friends. : )  As you can see God is still working on me and has alot of work to do.