Saturday, May 19, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Worries of this World trying to over take me.
I try not to pout and hold on but I wonder...
How can blessings, be taken?
Where is provision, where is help, Am I not standing on the rock that can not be moved?
Is this a test, I feel like I am failing.
Am I being broken down so I can be built back up?
I feel my old hard heart speaking, see.. this is what you get for hoping, did you really think it was all for you to keep. This is the same story of your life all over again. Dreams are silly and only get crushed. You don't appreciate, there is no unconditional.. all love can be taken.
Another voice speaks and says wait, patients is key, all is not lost just yet and on the other side is joy. Put pride aside.
And the hard heart says back.. you can't live in denial and must prepare for the worst, there is no hope for this situation. No miracle at the midnight hour. You never deserved it, there was no care, life just isn't fair. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. You are too small for it to matter anyway. This is nothing compaired to what is to come.
A conflict in my soul.
Are you trying to get my attention.. you have it. All is out of my hands and control.
Friday, May 4, 2007
"face your fears, and find your poet within"
Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
Can a pen have joy if it sits in the drawer it's whole life?
Can paper be truly happy blank?
Can a book find purpose if it has never been read?
A pen, paper and a book, all tools used by a creator and all have a purpose. They are useless articles if they are never used for what they are intended. They are possibilities, hopes and dreams waiting to go forth and be realized. Pen will sit in that drawer, paper in a notebook and book on that shelf longing for something more, waiting to be used, waiting to be fulfilled.
I am pen. I am paper. I am book. I am waiting.
Inspired by Tear Your Plank and Made To Love
TobyMac: Made To Love
The dream is fading now I’m staring at the door
I know it’s over ‘cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain’t feeling what I see
Its no mystery
Whatever happened to a passion I could live for?
What became of the flame that made me feel more?
And when did I forget …
That I was made to love You
I was made to find You
I was made just for You
Made to adore You
I was made to love and be loved by You
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And you said You’d keep me never would You leave me
I was made to love
And be loved by You
The dream’s alive with my eyes open wide
Back in the ring You got me swingin’ for the grand prize
I feel the haters spittin’ vapors on my dreams
But I still believe …
I’m reaching out, reachin’ up, reachin’ over
I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And Daddy I’m on my way …
Anything, I would give up for You
Everything, I’d give it all away
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Yesterday was one of three field trips I get to go on this week. Annie's fourth grade class went downtown to see the Arch and go on a river boat ride. We have been to the Arch several times since living here but never rode on the river, so that was something different. I was glad I was able to go with Annie and the other kids this year on field trips. They always feel special.
If you ever wondered what the view is like from the top of the Arch, here is a short video I took while we were up there. Just mute it if all the kids voices get annoying (lol)
Thursday I go with Zane and his 6th grade class to the local grocery store and then to the park. It's a math lessen I guess.. they have to purchase in groups the things necessary to make lunch for those in the their group and then go to the park and put it together and eat ofcourse. And then Friday I get to go with Lilly's 1st grade to the Saint Louis Zoo. Also Next week is busy busy too. Sophia has a field trip to Quiver River State Park and I have Mother & Daughter tea at school with the girls and also this Saturday with women's group. All this running around is killing me in gas but I am sure some how we will get threw. It used to be volunteers could ride on the bus with the field trip but this school district has nixed that for insurance purposes so I have to drive in my van everywhere.. and most of the time its like an hour drive. Gas just hit 2.97!
Money is just very tight.. I had to make the choice between what would be disconnected, home phone &dsl or our cellphones. Since Josh needs his cell for work I guess I will be doing with out the net for a little while soon. And I am absolutely out of cigarettes (ya I know) till Friday. Good thing I have tea or else some one may of ended up hurt around here. It's easy to stay off soda when you don't have money to buy it. But when others are drinking it around you that is when temptation is very hard. But I haven't had ANY since Saturday.