Friday, July 29, 2005

OUR FIRST NEW HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think I can put into words how wonderful and abundantly the Lord has blessed me and my family.  You have to understand, I never DREAMED of owning my own home nor of a house this wonderful.  If you know anything of my background you know how I grew up moving around a lot and some of the hard times my family has had. And when I did think of us buying a house it was always in terms of a small fixer upper. In 4 years the Lord has taken my family so far in both our walk with him and us having a life full of joys, hope and peace. We have gone from depending on food pantries and church paying our rent to Josh becoming a Journeymen Painter and earning very good wages.  I can only lift my hands up in praise to HIM and cry tears of joy and thankfulness. I marvel at how he has taken care of us and provided for EVERY need and how it seems like he has opened this window of heaven on us and let the blessing rain down.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.   John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly.   3 John 1:2 Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.

 If you have been following my journal at all this summer you have seen all the ups and downs we have gone threw searching for a house and how almost by accident we stumbled on this deal.  A newly built stock home in a brand new development that had been unoccupied and they wanted to get some one in there like yesterday.  The sales lady Holli was the most nicest one we have ever met (and we have met several now).  When we thought we were going to go with a different, smaller house we still wanted her and her company to know how well she treated us and our family and how she went the extra mile for us.  But it seemed like God kept directing us back to this house, for he knows the plans he has for us.  They dropped the price, paid ALL of the closing (we did not pay a dime and in fact we are getting money back from them on the closing) the financing worked out so we could get the monthly payment we felt we needed so I would NOT have to go back to work just so we could live in that house.

A house that we all fit in and are not on top of one another.  All these extras that blow me away.. the master bedroom is bigger than our current living room and I have never had my very own bathroom, having a dishwasher is also a first for us. For now until the subdivision is built up more.. we own the Biggest house on the block! A house where we will have a feeling of community with neighbors and streets and side walks that the kids can ride their bikes on or just go for a walk with out worrying about heavy traffic. We are not in between two fire departments like we are in this house so we will not hear sirens all day and night.. it is VERY quiet out there. I am told the schools are very good and has a gifted program that Zane can get tested for.  It is like God read my wish list and checked it off one by one and handed it over to me! 

We met our neighbors and they seem very nice.  An older couple with two girls, 10 & 12 and a dog.. named Lily (will ppl please stop naming thier pets after my children!lol)  They have been waiting for new neibhors with children so thier girls could have someone to play with. They are from Minnasota but have lived in Wisconsin before (close to the town I was born in) so we share a Northern Accent that Josh loves to tease me about sometimes.  And upon talking to them I am glad to hear they are pro-life also.

Yesterday my emotions were like roller coastering.  I woke up waiting and waiting for a call about when the close would be.  Loan Lady called Josh at about 10:30 saying it was set for 3:00 and they would call us with how much we needed to bring to close. We didn't get our van out of the shop because we thought we were going to have to pay at least $300 when we went in for close.  Time kept on ticking away slowly and we were getting nervous that we had not heard back yet.  At 1:30 Josh called the title company.  Title Company Lady said she was sorry that Loan Lady told us it would be at 3:00, the paper work was not all ready just yet and she would call us back when it was all set.  I was almost certain that the close was going to be moved AGAIN and was ready to explode!!  At 3:30 she called back saying we could come in when ever we were ready to sign the papers and we DID NOT need to bring a cashier's check.. we owed NOTHING for the closing costs. I am not exactly sure how it worked out but we were also going to be sent a check for $100 (that about covers the deposit we had put down). I later asked her how often the seller pays all the closing.. she said almost NEVER and it is lucky for us how it worked out that way.  (if you have noticed ppl have been calling us lucky left and right but I say LUCK has nothing to do with it.. IT IS ALL GOD!!!)

I tried to get Josh to dress up better for the closing but he didn't see the point of it.  I at least got him out of his work clothes.  I put on my pearls and wore my fav lime green shirt.  I reasoned that if we are going to sign on such a house we should at least look nice too. Since we did not have to bring any money we went and paid for the van and took all the kids with us to the close.  I am glad they had a box of toys to keep the kids at bay while we signed that mountain of papers.  You think they had to use a whole tree to make all that paper???  As we were signing I could not take my eyes off the Title Lady's wrist.  She was wearing a bracelet similar to the one I had put on my wish list in my journal a few months back (can't find that entry right now)  As we were leaving I asked her where she got it from and told her that it had my fav colors in it and I saw something like it on the net but it was like $30.  She said oh just go to one of the China stores they are very reasonable there.  Then she said, better yet.. here.. and took it off and gave it to me!!!!  Do you see what I am talking about?!!!  Do you see how these blessings seem to be just pouring down on us?!

After the close we drove out to Troy where our house is.  We stopped in town at the grocery store.  We figured we could just pick something up to microwave since there was one built in to the house to use.  As we entered the store Holli our sales lady spotted us. She was doing some of her own shopping and was just leaving.  How funny that we ran into her!  We hugged and she said welcome to the neighborhood and how happy she was for us.

So for our first dinner we had chicken strips and chips and pudding.  Josh and I did get a cheap bottle of Arbor Mist but I can't wait till we do the final move in and share a nice bottle in our Grand Master Suite bedroom lol. Josh has enrolled us in something like a wine of the month club and we just got two very good wines from France and Argentina.  Any one want to give us a wine rack for a house warming gift??

OK.. I have TONS of packing to do.  I tried to put off most of it till I knew 100% that we were going to move.  It seemed iffy for awhile to me and I didn't want to have to do all that and not end up moving.  Josh is going to his mom's this weekend with a truck to bring stuff she is giving us to the new house and some stuff she wants to keep in storage.  I am sure I am going to be taking boxes and things to the new house over the next week or so but the BIG finnal move is set for the weekend of the 12th.

And I also wanted to say  THANK YOU to all my friends who have been cheering me on threw all this with your comment and prayers!!!!!!  I wish I could have you all over for wine and cheese or a BBQ.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Audio entry

Rumor has it...

WE CLOSE AT 3:00!!! 

 That is what they are saying any how.  I'll keep you updated.  : )

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Thought for the day: Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.

No I am not overly worried. I am just feeling a bit discouraged before I go to bed.  Think I need to reflect on a past entry I posted about discouragement.  It just has been a bummer day when I expected it to be full of joys.

It is 1:00 a.m. and you would think by now we would know what time we were to go to the title company to close on our dream house and how much we are to bring for the scheduled close (tomorrow or today how ever you see it). Essentially I have been told the hold up is all about paper work and not to fret, we have the house and loan. I am starting to distrust Loan Lady and know that she has told some small lies to other ppl so I have to wonder what if anything has SHE lied to US about? And with our van being put in the shop for repairs and Josh not working his conventional job this week and skimping on our normal groceries it feels like it is all hitting me at once.  I have always fought those seeds of doubt that I am not good enough, good enough for such a nice house or to even own my own home.  I have tried not to call it MINE until after close but I let myself decorate the whole thing in my head and on paper and for once dream.  Oh you should just see all the plans I have for it.  But I am reminding myself today.. it is not what I have planned that matters but what God's Will is for our life.  Going into all this we deeply prayed and asked him for guidance but you know sometimes our flesh can drown out his voice if we let it.  We asked him to put up road blocks if this house is not where he wants us to be.  Right now all I see is big brick walls.  I guess you could say I am preparing myself that a move may not be in our near future.  I have told Josh that we should tell all those involved that if we don't close by Friday that we are going to walk away and take it as God's Will.  It hurts to think that is a possibility.  Not so much because I love that house that much, but because I cringe at the thought of all these ppl we have told about it, asking how the new house is and having to inform them it didn't happen.  It is like I can hear the na sayers laughing or celebrating our downs and saying behind our backs.. hahaha what where they thinking in the first place.. but that is mostly ME and no one I know personally who would say that (I would hope). 

And spending all day dealing with these computer issues has not helped my moral any either! Or hearing Sophia ask when she is going to get her Birthday presents and not having ANYTHING to give her but hugs and kisses.  She doesn't understand the concept yet of having a delayed celebration in two weeks. She just knew today was her special day and it should of involved at least ONE gift.  The planned gift was going to be the keys to our new house and her being first to open the door.  Still hopeful that we can make that Josh's Birthday gift instead.

There.. maybe now that I got that all out of me and those tears, I can let it rest and what ever happens ...happens?  Maybe I can sleep?

Doesn't sound very safe to me.. Please read if, especialy women who are thinking of using the Patch

Abortion-Causing Birth Control Patch Manufacturer Faces Class-Action Lawsuit

NEW YORK, July 27, 2005 ( – Ortho Evra manufacturer, Ortho McNeil, is facing a lawsuit filed by 10 women Monday for damages related to use of its abortifacient so-called birth-control patch. The women, who all suffered from strokes or serious blood clots, described the drug as “unreasonably dangerous,” and “defectively designed,” according to a CNN report.

The women, ranging in age from 18 to 47, are from across the US and all suffer from long-term debilitating effects from the patch. Nineteen year-old Amanda Bianchi of Colorado Springs, Colo., described suffering two strokes and recurring migraines after developing a 10-inch blood clot in her brain after use of the patch in 2004. “It's not fun to have to get up and not be able to go to school and live the life that you were living, you know?” she said.

“When used as labeled, Ortho Evra is a safe and effective birth control choice for many women,” a company statement claimed. Last week, reported that the risk of developing a fatal or non-fatal blood clot while on the patch is three times greater than with use of the abortifacient birth-control pill. An AP report also noted that 23 deaths were attributed to use of the patch since its US Food and Drug Administration approval in 2001. An FDA spokesman assured women that “evidence indicates the product is safe and effective,” according to a statement sent to CNN.

See related coverage:
Birth Control Patch Claims 23 Lives and Counting

This is really adding to a bad day! gurrrrr..

Ok so you want to know what is going on with my journal??? That would be a good question and I am so sorry to those of you who have me on alerts and seem to be getting alot of them from me.   A good chunk of my day has been wasted on this gurrr..

I have been back and forth with Joe the AOL Editor and he has been something of the go between for me and the Tec people today.  I have done many spyware scanners and downloading some other stuff.  And yes some junk was found on my computer but even after taking care of that this problem is still here.

I even had a guest poster post a test on my journal if you noticed lol..

New Journal Entry
A new entry has been posted to the Journal:
Hunybea's Open Journal
Subject: wooohooo this is a test
Author: ianc04
"hi - just testing :-D"

That was one of the "superusers", who has access to all AOL testing the prob for us. (Bet you didn't know AOL could do that huh!) Well after all this they could not "recreate" the problem, so they can not solve it.  If I use and sign in to AOL using that and edit my journal the mystery audio link DOES NOT come on when I go and edit.  But when I go back using my AOL program it does.  The conclusion is.. according to the tec people anyway, it is a problem with MY machine and they can't do a thing about it.  I need to find it and get it off and until then use mozilla to edit my journal.  UGH!  I also posted to the suggested message board  to see if anyone there can help me with all this.

So the problem is if I edit an exciting post using my AOL software some how a nasty porn link masked as an audio link is added, but not in an original post.  Something may be on my computer doing this (some vicious spyware program that seems to slip past every scanner I have downloaded).  AOL employees did all they felt they could and I am left to figure it out on my own. If I can not get this fixed I am planning on doing a system resotre tonight. 

This on top of our close date being moved.. our van being put BACK in the shop (not having the money to pay for it today) and not celebrating Sophia's birthday the way I had wanted.






Today is my youngest of 4, fourth birthday!!!! My baby!!! *snif*snif*  She is getting soooooooo big!  In honor of her day of birth I have put together this YGP to show her threw the years.  Enjoy it best as a slide show.

Since our plans are quashed for her birthday today we are going to have a party in two weeks when some out of town family will be in.  Annie and Zane wanted to do something special for thier baby sister non the less.  So they set up all of Sophia's little ponies and had me print out some pics from the online My Little Pony coloring book to make a Parade of Ponies for Sophia on her dresser top.  That was sweet and I should of got pics but too late now. Sophia is busy playing with them and coloring in her pony pages.  It is not hard to guess that she wants a Pony room when we move.

ANOTHER TEST.. per Joe's request

Runing another test so the journal editor and tec folks can see if what's going on.

I am writing this inside the space provided in our journal.  Now I am pasting Joe's e-mail message to me from my e-mail.

Hi Mary,

Our tech folks are actively looking into this.  They've asked me to ask
you to create a new Journal entry to see if this happens again.  When
you do this, it would help if you could start from scratch and lay out
for me exactly the steps that you took when you created it.  I've
subscribed to your Alert, so I should know when you post your new test


AOL Journals Editor

See.. AOL does care *wink*

I suspect that if I post it it will be fine.  It is when I go back and edit that the phoney audio link apears.  So I am going to post this now and then go back and edit to see what happens.  Clicking SAVE now.


Ok for one.. when I clicked edit I got a run time error box.  So I had do click link to this entry and then click edit.  That is annoying.  So now I am editing this post and about to click save and see what happens.  I supspect that the link will apear again.  (see I am not doing what I normaly do and edit my post in my e-mail for spelling.. so excuse my illitarate butt lol)

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


Twice today I have had to go back and edit my posts... because somehow an audio entry link got in.. I dont know how.. I did NOT PUT IT THERE.. and if you clicked on it, it sent you to a porn site!!!!! UGH!

I have e-mailed aol journal's editor and asked if this has been happening to others.  So I am testing with this post to see if it happens again.  Coming back to edit.. so if you see that audio link DO NOT CLICK IT! It is not from me.

Updated close date...

Some boxes are packed.. just received an order of more from the Fedex guy.  Plans are made, lists are set, utilities are ready to be called, a truck is on reserve, babysitter is on call for when we do close.  In the mist of all this craziness Josh is off of work for a week.. he is freaked out about that but now he has time to do all those side jobs. We are living on ramon noodles and mac and cheese and store brand soda just so we wont spend any extra money before all this goes threw. Then what seems to be at the very last minuet our Lender Lady calls us to tell us there is a small snag and WE have to go to our bank to get a print out of our verification of funds.. if they do it, it will take 5 days for the bank to get it back to them and as you know that is too late.

So I had to run to our bank and do that.  I am so sick of my bank and am seriously considering dropping them.  I have plenty of reasons, but for lack of space I am not going to list them. lol. Then I ran it over to Lender Lady and had a nice chat with her.  She assured me we are getting the loan but if anything our close my be pushed up a few hours or worse case the next day.  I should know by the end of the day and how much of a cashier's check we need to bring to the title company.

I REALLY HOPE this all get's done tomorrow as planned!!!! It is Sophia's 4th birthday and instead of having a party we told her she would get the keys to our NEW house and be the first one to open the door.  I was even thinking of maybe bringing some cake for the kids and maybe a bottle of cheap wine for Josh and me to chrisen the house with *wink*  But even if it does get pushed to the next day that is cool.. that is Josh's 29th birthday (hahahahahahaha one more year till he is 30).  We are not in a big rush to move.  We didn't plan to start occupying the new house until the weekend of the 12th.  But we did want to start bringing some things over there this weekend.  Josh is going to his mom's to get her stuff she wants to store and the things she is giving to us (including a new bed for us, bookshelves, linens, some dishes and appilances and tuperwear.. stuff I dont want to bring to this house and repack)  He was going to unload it at our new house this weekend.

Who saidbuying a house was stressful???


Nope.. CLOSE has been moved to Thurday

Oh well..what is ONE more day.. a life time if you are waiting lol.

Maybe it is just a gentle reminder for me to get my butt of the computer and do some house work?  HA HA.. it is a conspiracy I tell you.. a conspiracy!!

Monday, July 25, 2005

HA.. that is funny!

Your Blogging Type is Kind and Harmonious You're an approachable blogger who tends to have many online friends. People new to your blogging circle know they can count on you for support. You tend to mediate fighting and drama. You set a cooperative tone. You have a great eye for design - and your blog tends to be the best looking on the block! What's Your Blogging Personality?

Saturday, July 23, 2005

The DMV Blessing

Four more days till we close!

So you know how you need a valid ID when you are signing all that paper work at closing???  No big deal right?  Nope, unless you have let your licence expire... over six months ago.  Ya, Ya, dont you lecture me in MO if you let it lap that long you have to retake the written and driving test.  I don't have time for all that right now!!!  So my temporary solution was to just go and get a State ID and then get my licence back after we closed (then I could also get our new address on it too)

Another nice tid bit if you are a Missourian.. next time you go to get your licence renewed or get an ID.. you HAVE to bring  in your Birth Certificate as proof that you were born in the US and your Social Security Card as proof of who you are, and a utility bill as proof of residence.  It is some new initiative called Show Me Proof:  Lawful Presence Identity Residency.  Yes, even if you are just renewing.  So I had to dig and dig to find my birth certificate.. I had to brave the spider infested garage and dig in a box to find the fireproof metal box I had it in and never bothered to unpack the last time we moved.  (The plan is to clean the garage tomorrow after church so Josh did finally bug bomb the garage so I won't have to worry so much about spiders, I hope it worked)

Who says the people down at the DMV are not nice? LOL I waited for about 30 min. in line and got a girl who looked like she could be Liv Tyler's twin.  I told her I just wanted a State ID and handed over all my documents (German accent.. papers, papers.. show me your papers, in my head)  I told her why I just needed an Id and not a renewal.  She looked me up in the "system" and said to both of our surprise it showed me as still current and I could renew my driver's licence if I wanted to with out taking the test.  She was gawking how LUCKY I was, that was abnormal, some glitch.  THANK YOU LORD!!  She even said if I knew my new address I could go ahead and get it on there (but I didn't know it off the top of my head so I couldn't give her the info.  Just $12 next week to get it changed after we have closed)  In the past I have always gotten my old licence back with just a hole punch in them.  I have something of a collection going of them.. I can see how I have aged by them lol but not this time.  She had to keep it and send it to the Capital she said, new rule.  A lot of NEW rules going on at the DMV and I am sure the next time I have to go there will be a whole new Federal State ID System and they will be asking ppl to take a safe, easy to use, chip.(over my dead body)

There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord blessed me.  He knew I was stressing over not having my driver's licence current and the possibility of arranging baby sitters so I could go take the tests and that time is getting short before we close on the house.  I was beaming the whole day and I am still in awe. 

I had started my period that day and felt like crap and didn't want to get my picture taken, nor did I feel like dolling up for one. The reason my glasses look tinted is because of my under eye baggage.  HOW terrible is that!  But over all it is a nice picture but, not as good as my past one.  Just for fun I had to show Josh and ask him if I looked 30 in my best PMS voice.  He insists I don't look a day over 28 lol.

NOW.. If I can only stay cool until the air conditioner repair guy get's here!!!!  It died last night before we got home from homegroup and we have been sitting in front of fans all day.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Rapture, Tribulation, Wrath, Repenting.. Just touching on some basics of the subject

There is alot of talk in Christian circles about the Rapture and the End Times.  The return of Jesus Christ is what all Christians should be waiting and watching and longing for.  I know I am.  There is also many thoughts and teachings on what Tribulation and Wrath is and when the Rapture will be.  There is Pre-trib, Mid-trib, and Post Trib.. labels some carry to describe when they believe or have been taught when the Rapture will happen.

Rapture is not a word found in the Bible but a term that has been used in Christian speak to describe the "catching away" of the church as described in 1Corinthians:15. With out going into too much detail and a whole post about the Rapture, it is a basic belief that Jesus is going to call his church up, those dead and alive and take them out of this world before the Wrath is poured out on the Earth and those in it.  Some believe this could happen any second at any given moment and we will not see it coming so to speak and poof.. the Christians are gone and the World has no clue where they went.  Some think it is going to be a big glorious loud appearing of the Lord and EVERY eye will see him coming and EVERYONE will see the dead in Christ rise and then the alive raise in the air to meet him.  This is a very big topic and I could go into what I believe but for now I will put it off so I can focus on other issues.

 1 Corinthians 15:51 Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

As big as a topic that the rapture is, an even bigger one is WHEN it is going to happen.  And this can get somewhat confusing because not everyone uses the same definitions for the same terms. For example.. Tribulation and Wrath.  Some teach and understand that they are the same thing and since the Bible promises believers are not appointed unto wrath, we will not see any of the Great Tribulation period either.

1 Thessalonians 5:9 For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ,

(I suggest everyone look these scriptures up and read them threw, remember to read the scriptures leading up to the quoted and after the quoted so you can get the full scope and context, often false teaching is based on one scripture because they have not taken the whole in)

Others believe that the Tribulation and the Wrath of God are separate events and that believers WILL see Great Tribulation but NOT the Wrath of God.  Tribulation is suffered by the hands of men and the Wrath is poured by God on those who are not abiding in Christ and unrepented of their sins.

Matthew 24:21 For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.

Revelation 7:14 And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

Jeremiah 10:10 But the LORD [is] the true God, he [is] the living God, and an everlasting king: at his wrath the earth shall tremble, and the nations shall not be able to abide his indignation.

John 3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

Revelation 14:10 The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb:11 And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.

Many books and movies and tapes have been made on this subject and ofcourse I can not summarize everything to fit into this one post lol.

Just ONE more point I wish to make in this post and then I can do a follow up if necessary. The whole LEFT BEHIND theory.  A teaching that is out there and a subject of a whole series of books is that if you have missed the Rapture you still have hope and can repent and make it threw the Tribulation/Wrath period and still be saved and make it to be with Jesus.  This teaching is one that uses the terms Tribulation and Wrath to be one and the same and apparently that there is more than one resurrection of the those who die in Christ, another rapture?.  I for one see this as a dangerous and off the mark teaching because it gives ppl the false sense that they can put off repenting until they see the firstRapture happen and then they can repent and have hope.  Count with me in Revelation how many times it says THEY REPENTED NOT..

Revelation 2:21 And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not.

Revelation 9:20 And the rest of the men which were not killed by these plagues yet repented not of the works of their hands, that they should not worship devils, and idols of gold, and silver, and brass, and stone, and of wood: which neither can see, nor hear, nor walk:  

Revelation 9:21 Neither repented they of their murders, nor of their sorceries, nor of their fornication, nor of their thefts.  

Revelation 16:9 And men were scorched with great heat, and blasphemed the name of God, which hath power over these plagues: and they repented not to give him glory.  

Revelation 16:11 And blasphemed the God of heaven because of their pains and their sores, and repented not of their deeds.  

 FIVE TIMES!!!! When God says something more than once it is a strong warning!   REPENT NOW... ACCEPT THE LORD JESUS NOW.. because scripture says NO ONE REPENTS when his wrath is being poured out.. it is too late then, no matter when you believe the Rapture or Tribulation or Wrath is going to be!  

1 Thessalonians 5:2 For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night. 3 For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.4 But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief. 5 Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.6 Therefore let us not sleep, as [do] others; but let us watch and be sober.


Wednesday, July 20, 2005

An attack or or an urgancy of the Spirit?

Needing some comments from those with a gift of discerning or those who have had this happen to them before.  This was a unique experience for me.

Yesterday was a normal kind of day for the most part.  Shortly after Josh was home from work and I was starting dinner I started to feel strange. I started to feel very heavy and light at the same time, like being fuzzy all over but still very aware.  If I was on drugs I would of said I was high, but no I have not used drugs in a very long time (nor plan to lol). I drink a glass of wine now and then but I had not had any yesterday. I was getting very concerned.  I even asked my husband to look into my eyes to see if they looked funny or if they were dilated.  I was the only one in the house feeling like this too.  So I don't think it was any kind of carbon monoxide or gas poisoning.  I felt restless and like I had to cry.  I didn't understand because I had no reason to cry or feel this way.  Josh asked if maybe I was having a panic attack because of the move.  I didn't think that was it.  I feel total peace about our move and am not worried about anything that I can think of.  I went outside and sat on our porch thinking maybe I just needed some fresh air. This feeling of heaviness and dread was just not leaving me or lifting.  I did notice the moon and thought it was pretty because it was so big, so I took a few snap shots of it. 

All threw this a verse from a song we sing often at church started going threw my head and I started to sing it out loud.. "And I shall not be moved, And I'll say of the Lord... You are my Strength, My Shield, My Portion, Deliver, Strong Tower.. My very present help in time of need..

After I came back in from being out side I tried to go about making dinner but I just couldn't focus.  This is about when my husband suggest I go and pray.  So I went into a room all alone and got on my knees but didn't know what to pray.  I opened my mouth and started praying in tongues.  It was flowing out of me.  Just so you know, I don't pray in tongues very often, neither in my private prayer time or in public so for it to pour out of me was a surprise.  I don't know exactly what I was praying but it was an urgent flowing prayer and as if something was grieving the spirit.. tears were rolling down my cheeks and then it grew to where all I could do was just weep and weep.  I do recognize that I was calling out to the Lord and said his name many times in a different tongue than I knew.  For those who have prayed in tongues you may know what I mean. I kept praying in tongues until the words would not come because I was coughing and felt like I was chocking and couldn't get air.  This is when I called out to Josh to  bring me a drink and that I could not breath.

Josh came into the room with me and I took a drink but I still felt like I couldn't breath. Then I started to weep again, almost wailing and then praying in tongues again.  Josh started to pray with me with his hands on me but he doesn't pray out loud so I don't know what he was praying.    Then I started praying in my normal language, asking the Lord to give me understanding, what did all this mean.  Then I prayed, Lord hold off your anger, prepare us, open eyes and hearts, call more to you to be saved.

I felt like something is going to happen and he is preparing me for it.  I have never had this feeling except one time.. the night before my niece was kidnapped and I had a feeling of dread and that something bad was going to happen, but it was nothing like THIS.

Also so you know.. this started BEFORE the announcement about who Bush nominated for Supreme Court Judge.  I heard some small blerp about it before and had wanted to watch the announcement live on the news channel.  I really feel that who ever was nominated, like our whole country's future hinges on who ever it will be.. if the President makes a bad choice God will not hold back his anger much longer after that but if it was a good choice the hedge may stay a bit longer. But none of that was on my mind when this happen and I missed it because I was praying when the announcement was made. If it is connected to that or not I do not know.  I don't know all the facts about Roberts to say either way if I like him or not.. but it is not if I like him that matters.. it is if God does.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

One of my chores this week was this but now I am searching for a waivier..

I became very sickened to learn that some vaccines we give our children are derived from aborted fetus tissue.  Sickened is not even an antiquate word!  I am so pro-life that I will NOT give my money to certain business that I know support and donate money to planned parenthood or the alike.. I even held a sign and the Race for the Cure alerting women to the fact that abortion and breast cancer are linked.. not to mention that foundation gives grants to Planned Parenthood.  So when it was time for Lilly to get a shot that was missed from her previous appointment I just happen to find a link to the origins of where that vaccine comes from.  If you are not aware.. the "chicken pox vaccine" is now mandatory for those entering into kindergarten this year, or at least it is here in MO.  I was going to go down to the Health Department this week and get it out of the way but after reading this info.. I am on a search for the waiver that is available and determined to research the other vaccines that are required upon our children.

Additional Facts - Chickenpox

VARIVAX was developed with the use of aborted fetuses.  It uses both the human cell lines, named WI-38 (Wistar Institute) and MRC-5 (Medical Research Council). The vaccine contains residual components of  their DNA and protein. The cell lines were derived from the lung tissue of an aborted female at 3 months gestation and an aborted male at 14 weeks gestation.  The cells of these fetuses were then developed in a lab culture to produce several vaccines.

VARIVAX  also contains MSG (monosodium glutamate) in 2 forms, according to Jack Samuels, an expert on MSG. According to the FDA, MSG is not advised for infants, children, or pregnant women or children of childbearing age, and people with affective (mental/emotional) disorders.

According to VARIVAX product literature, the vaccine contains gelatin and trace amounts of neomycin, and should not be given to people allergic to them; it should not be given to anyone with an immune disorder, or anyone receiving drugs which affect the immune system such as chemotherapy or steroids; it should not be given to people with untreated tuberculosis or certain other infections. <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /><O:P> </O:P>

Dr. A. Lavin of the Department of Pediatrics, St. Luke’s Medical Center in Cleveland, Ohio, strongly opposed licensing VARIVAX, “Until we actually know...the risks involved in injecting mutated DNA [the vaccine] into the host genome [children].”

Studies show that up to 3% of VARIVAX recipients contract chicken pox from the vaccine, and that some chicken pox cases may be contracted from recently vaccinated children. Vaccine recipients may therefore pose a health risk to pregnant mothers or family members with chronic health problems or compromised immune systems.

Some studies suggest that chicken pox in a vaccinated child may be milder than in an unvaccinated child. However, some experts believe that this may be due to the vaccine suppressing the illness, which could actually signal a more serious underlying chronic condition. For example, “Atypical measles” is a disease that occurs only in people previously vaccinated for measles, and it is far more serious than regular measles. It is not yet known if “atypical chicken pox” cases will appear as a result of the use of VARIVAX.

The FDA VAERS' (Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System) first year surveillance of VARIVAX included over 1,500 reports. 76 were serious adverse reactions that included 2 deaths. While a VAERS report does not prove a causal relationship between the vaccine and the death or disability that follows, the vaccine is highly suspect in all such reports.

The FDA has stated that fewer than 10% of serious adverse reactions and deaths following vaccines are reported; independent researchers cite lower rates. The federal government has paid families of vaccine killed and disabled children nearly $100 million in taxpayer dollars each year since 1986 through the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (NVCIP).

Source:  P.R.O.V.E. (Parents Requesting OpenVaccination Education)

ALSO READ THIS IMPORTANT ARTICLE BY DR. CHRIS KAHLENBORN ON MEDICAL PROBLEMS WITH THIS VACCINE! is a site that has links to info of where you can obtain waiviers for your state.  I have to go down in person it seems to the Health Department. So I still dont get out of going down there or that chore.. gurr lol.

This goes right along with my previous post! Wow, how timely this was in my in box!

From the Daily Devotional from The Purpuse Driven Life website.

“Can I Help?”
by John Fischer

I love to work with my hands. I get very excited about what I can do to a room with a few pieces of molding and a couple cans of fresh paint. My wife, Marti, is not quite as enthusiastic as I am about this, mainly because she doesn’t like clutter and the fact that this kind of work pulls me away when we would normally be having family time. I argue that it saves us money, but the real reason I do it is the satisfaction created by the transformation, and the realization: “Hey, I did that!”

Of course it takes me three times longer than a professional and even longer when you factor in the few hours here and there that I have to put into projects like this. To make matters worse, I’m a perfectionist, so I have craftsman tastes driving my amateur abilities. I measure twice, cut slow, and do things over if I have to.

I also have a huge sense of ownership over work like this — I don’t like to share it with anyone. As a result, I’m not a very good teacher. My two older children don’t know much about projects around the house because I did them all myself and didn’t let them help me even if they wanted to.

Which leads me to mentioning a project that has now taken up two weekends, severely challenged Marti’s patience, and tested my own with our five-year-old, Chandler.  Every time I’m working when he is around (which is most of my available time), he asks me if he can help. I’m old enough now to see that I haven’t handled this well in the past, but knowing I have an opportunity to change that doesn’t make it any easier.

I’m realizing that an important part of serving people is allowing them to serve you. This is sometimes hard because it may mean you have to teach them to do what you know you could do better on your own, but their growth is going to depend on the opportunities you give them.

In many ways, I would prefer to work alone on these projects but I have to remember, “What am I here for — to remodel a room or teach my son how to use a hammer?”

When I die, which is he going to remember most, nice clean angles on the molding in this room or the experience of sawing through wood as I hold it for him?

The quality of a life of purpose is measured not by the number of tasks accomplished, but with who were they were accomplished and the learning that went on in the process.

Our new table and chairs.. well kinda

We have had our kitchen table and chairs for almost 6 years now. Two of the chairs were saved out of a dumpster but they serve their purpose well. The things ppl throw out that are perfectly good humf.  Anyway, with our impending move and new house I have had a few pre-moving projects in mind.  The Home and Garden channel has been almost a constant watch for us the last two months.  I got the idea to paint our table and chairs a dark green that will bring down the big kitchen we will have. My "theme" for the kitchen is country and apples.  I had org. picked a dark dark green called Jasper on the color deck but Josh insisted it was too dark and would look almost black on the table.  Who am I to argue with a professional?  So we looked over the color deck together and compromised on a dark green that is still bright.  (Josh and I have different ideas and visions apparently and tastes lol)  So we settled on the color that adorns the table now.. LUCKY GREEN!  NO seriously that is it's name on the color deck.  I think red chair cushions and apples in a clear bowel will complement this green, even though it is not org. what I had planned.  It will really pop in our new breakfast area.

Before you get ideas of painting your own table and chairs let me warn you.. it is alot of work!!!  I thought it would be a simple family project of slapping on some paint but nooooooooo... you have to sand every thing down first (my shoulders are still sore).  And then it has to be primed.. and then if you can get the spray gun out of your husband's hand then you can put the color on lol.  Do it on a non windy day too.. or else you will be picking leaves and bugs off your paint job. lol  But Lori is right.. when families work on home projects together it keeps them close and I look forward to doing more of these things for our new home with Josh and the kids.

Next project.. fitting Josh's bedroom armoire to be a TV stand for the living room.

One more week till we close.. I better get packing!

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Saturday Six time

Yep it is Saturday.. ALL READY!! You know the drill..

1. What is the last thing you either camped out or got up unusually early to be able to buy? Nothing since my early teen years that I can remember.. and that was for NKOTB tickets.. sad I know.

2. If you had to give up one of the following for a full year, which would be the easiest to do without?  Which would be the most difficult to give up?
    a) Your personal vehicle
    b) Your Telephone (both cellular and land line)
    c) The Internet
    d) Meat (all of it:  Beef, Poultry, Pork and Seafood)
    e) Television

I could probably give up any of those things for a year.. but the hardest would be C. The Inernet.  I could live with out, tv, phone and my car because hey when you have the NET you can do almost any of those things on it (well no substitue for meat but I could deal with out it for a year). I watch my news and clips here, I talk more with my friends & family here than on the phone and hey I can have my grocery's delivered if I didn't have a car by ordering them online. LOL

3. How many items (include all bottles, boxes and containers) are in your medicine cabinet?  Which is the last one you used? gurr.. let me go look.. ok. about 20 things (as they come toppling out when I opened the cabinet) and the last was ear drops on Josh. It is Seriously going to get cleaned out before we move. lol

4. What is the first source you go to for news of any kind when you wake up?  How much do you trust that particular source? First source for most of my news is .. ya.. the AOL Welcome Screen.  That is my spring board and then I will read on  and then if it is that important or breaking I turn on the TV to the FNC.  I don't trust any one scource the most or the least.  I pick and choose and take it all in.

5. Take the Quiz:  
What do the letters of your name stand for? M Mesmerizing A Appreciative R Radical Y Yummy B Brutal E Energetic A Adventurous
6. What is your favorite color and why?  If you have a journal or journals, is this color the primary one on those journals?  If not, why not? Purple and Lime Green.. yep my journal reflects these colors pretty well dont you think?  Lime green is used for links and purple for everything else.  I like Purple because it is a color of royalty (daughter to the King here) and I started liking Lime Green longggg before it was all that in fashion, it is bold and somewhat differnt from my personality and I feel pretty in it.  Now that EVERYONE wears it, it is starting to get annoying and I am starting to mix up my colors more.

We are a Harry Potter Free house..

I wouldn't let my children read porn.. so why would I let them read that.. NOR would I let them do any drugs, even marijuana, the so called gate way drug, so why would I let them read that.  

Five years ago or so when it was all coming out my inlaws wanted to take my son to the movies to watch one of the Harry movies.  I had heard some mummering in Christian circles about these books but really had not paid attention.  So I did my own research and saught God on this issue.  Needless to say my inlaws were flabergasted when I told them no way was my young son going to get involved or any of my children with these books or movies and it even came to the point where I had to exaimin all the entertainment we were allowing in our home.  

God is very specific on how he views witchcraft, wizardry, and sorcery.  He considers it to be a form of adultery to him.  When the people of Israel turned away from him in the OT and to false idols and sorcery he called them Adulterous and unfaithful. Exodus 34:14 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name [is] Jealous, [is] a jealous God. The words indignation and wrath used in the book of Revelations for God's anger that will be poured out comes from the Greek word Orge.  Orge means "violent, passionate vengeance as a jealous lover.  Jesus is the Lover of our souls, and we (the church or believers) are to be his bride that he comes for and for us to dabble in witchcraft or sorcery even as a form of entertainment  is like cheating on HIM.  

Why would The Lord God see it this way?  The way I have put it to my children to understand in the past is that magic or witchcraft, is like saying you don't have to depend on God, you can use another source of power to fulfil your needs.  If that source of power is not from God, where do you think it is coming from?  The Bible says Satan is a ruler of this World and a great deceiver, seeking to kill, steal and destroy.  God says you can not serve two masters, you are either serving HIM or Satan.  

Books such as Harry Potter and DND and Some Disney movies even Pokemon are like gateways used by Satan.  They make the charters who use witchcraft and sorcery look harmless, even on the good side.  It is evil repackaged to look good.  And what child has NOT tried to emulate the charters they see in their booksand movies who they think arethe Heroes?  Ask a Satanist or a Wickian when they FIRST became interested in seeking those forms of religion, it  didn't happen over night.  Ask a junky strung out on crack or cocaine.. ask the participants in porn movies and magazines how they first got started.. for most it did not happen over night.  A seed or a gate way was opened for them, tickled their imagination and told them they could do this, it is acceptable, until they are so deep into it they can't see how wrong it is.  

Choose this day whom you shall serve.   As for me and my house we shall serve the Lord.  Train up a child in the way he should go and when  he is old he shall not depart from it.  I don't just tell me kids.. hey these things are bad and they will not be in our home but I explain and show them in scripture where God has told us these things so they can understand.  We do not watch cartoons or movies that depict magic or nature worship (some what hard to find none that do these days, and occasionally one will slip by.. but wow my children have come to the point where they can recognize that such do not fit our standards for them and turn it off) nor do we read books that depict the good guys practicing it.  Yes there are some that do have magic in it, but the witch is the  WITCH, the bad guy, depicted as evil and not some one we would want to be like.  

I understand that many ppl love these kinds of books and think I am pointing a finger at them and judging them and am being an extreamist.  But I am just telling the TRUTH in love.  There was a time that I loved reading Stephen King and Anne Rice too, but now that kind of fiction just doesn't match up to how I want my mind to be filled and entertained.  Satan is a trickster and loves to get foot holds in our life, and for me and my house we are not going to allow him to get a step in the door this way. 

Personally.. I really do see those kinds of book to be the same as porn or drugs that will poison my children.  You may not see it that way and that is fine for you.  But ask God how HE sees it, go to his Word yourself, ask him for his rule in your life and ask him if these things go against him or with him.  I had to truly examine the scriptures and seek God myself when this issue came up in my own family and I ask that you all do the same, that's all

Friday, July 15, 2005

Choosing to postpone this rant..

I try and not let the negative ppl affect me and stay focused on the good in ppl but sometimes sticks and stones don't hurt as much as words do.  And it's not even just the words but the motives behind the words.

I could go into long details and a big post listing the offenders in my life and a big rant about why can't they JUST BE HAAPY FOR US.  Or how it hurts to hear an old friend even in jest say they don't like you anymore but prefer your husband (ie because I am an on fire Christian and not the old sinful wretch that I used to be). Or I could talk about how stressful it is working out the loan for buying the house and finding certain documents that are long gone into the missing box. (hint ppl.. save all your cancelled checks from paying your rent or download them and your bank statments, because the bank does charge you for them and file your important papers away promptly so you can find them for later) Oh and I really could go on and on about how the kids are really upsetting me with the crumbs on the floor and the attraction of all these ants and if we can't keep a nice house here what makes us think we can in a new one.. But instead I think I will just remember my favorite life verse and let God handle all those complaints and deal with those negatives in my life.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Count down and counting blessings.

Many many updates to make.  With Josh home my computer time is more than cut in half.. but that is a good thing lol.

My Darling did make it home safe, despite his truck breaking down somewhere in Poesy, IN (I think).  WE found out that our insurance DOES NOT cover paying for rental cars if our car is only broke down and not in an accident .. but will cover us in a rental car so we don't have to buy the extra insurance.  I am not sure what is wrong with his truck and if it is worth saving but he will probly be heading back that way this weekend to fetch it and take back the rental.  My van is in getting fixed and that is going to cost $550.  This has turned into an expensive week!  And pretty much ate into most of what we had put aside for moving.  It is a good thing Josh has all this side work lined up and that all our closing costs are being paid by the seller and finance company.

Papers are all signed for the new house and we have a final walk threw Monday at 1:00 and scheduled to close on the 27th at 11:00. (that is on Sophia's birthday and Josh's is on the 28th) They gave us one of the flyers for the house with the words SOLD in big red letters acrossed it.  I have it up on my refrigerator and am tempted to post it here, but I will wait till we actually close.  Every time I walk past the fridge I marvel  at that house and that it is really going to be ours!  We were at Lowe's yesterday just "looking" at mail boxes and some other small things we are going to need.  They have these nice plaque name plates you can put on your house or around it with your name and the date your homestead was established.  I started to cry thinking about one for OUR HOUSE, WITH OUR NAME, AND THE DATE WE CLOSE, on one of those plaques.  I have been trying not to get too excited, not to dream too big, in fear that it will all fall threw and we end up not moving into our own house.  I guess it is all starting to hit me that it IS GOING TO HAPPEN and it is all more than I ever dared to dream about. 

Also posted on our fridge is a letter from the Union's Apprentice School stating that Josh has completed the program and he will advance to Journeymen July 19th (this Sunday!)  It has taken 3 years to get to this and Josh has worked very hard.   Living on apprenticeship wages has not been all that easy but there has been many lessons learned during this time of trail and fire.  And I still remember how excited I was when he went into all this and how I ask for the Lord to use this time to grow us and provide for us and give us Peace threw it all.  And he has!

A raise in pay and status!  And a new house that is so awesome any house we will ever look at can never compare.  ALL IN ONE MONTH!  God has blessed us so much and when I think about how far he has taken me and my family I just have to Praise him from a heart busting with Thankfulness and Awe.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Preparing for his return

My husband has been gone for what feel like years out of town.  I started missing him and longing for his return almost the moment he drove out of our drive way.  But while he has been gone he has been very present in our lives back here at home.  We talked daily on the phone, several times even.  If he had a lap top I am sure he would of sent e-mails too or if he was in the habit, love letters.  We talked about EVERYTHING, all the small details around the house to the big ones.  Some times he would ask me to do certain things, or make certain calls for him on his behalf and then would ask me about it the next time we talked.  Sometimes I didn't do as asked and would feel guilty and distant from him in our conversations but after I told him truthfully that I hadn't done what he wanted, after hearing his disappointment in his voice he would encourage me saying it was ok, just do it the next day.  He knows I am super shy sometimes and put off business calls till the last minuet so he has to give me a nudge of encouragement.  We talked about money and our bank account and the bills that needed to be paid and if I was getting those things done during his absents.  We talked about just how much we loved each other and couldn't wait to be together once again in each other's presence but was thankful for cell phones that worked.  He even sent me a gift as a surprise UPS. A nice bottle of wine he had ordered, but I am saving it for when he gets home to share it with him.

People ask me how I am doing while he is gone and how he is and when is coming back. I try and hold back my enthusiasm knowing his return will be soon but ofcourse he is one of my very favorite subjects.  I sometimes feel like his secretary from all the ppl who have called asking when he may be available to do some painting jobs for them.  I am sure he has enough side work lined up for over a month worth of work and then some.  But even while he has been gone he has still provided for his family's needs.  Money in the banking account from the fruit of his labor, loving phone calls and correction when needed, and encouraging words too and making sure friends would check in on us now and then.

All thought He has been gone for some time now, no one has ever doubted that he would return to me and our family as promised.  We didn't knowthe exact time the job he is working would be finished and when he would pull up in our drive way back at home but we did have an idea about when it may be.  So when he called me telling me he is on his way and he will be here soon I felt joy and excitement.  Also a bit of regret because I have not done fully everything that I knew was expected of me while he was gone but I know small things don't matter too much to him and I will be forgiven.  He loves me and I love him and that is all that counts.

So I have been preparing for my beloved husband's return home but not knowing of the exact time he will pull up.  Sure I have an idea because I know how long it takes to drive from where he is at to where we are at, but he could speed and get here faster or he could make some pit stops and take longer than I expect.  I have been doing some extra cleaning so he can come home to a nice home and we can enjoy each other instead of him watching me over a sink of sudsy dishes or folding laundry.  I took a needed shower and shaved my legs, wanting to present my self to him beautiful and knowing that some bedroom time will come. I have told my children that daddy is on the way and that we should be prepared for his return.  Ofcourse they are excited because they have missed him just as much a I have. And they know that daddy will have a full report of how they have behaved and if chores were done.  They have no doubt that their father is coming because he has never lied and I have never lied, plus they can see the joy in me with the knowledge that he is coming soon.  We are also very excited for his return because when he gets back into town all the paper work can be signed on our new house!

I was thinking about all this in the shower.. where I do some heavy thinking sometimes. (about the only alone time I have lol)  I was thinking about my husband and his return and it occurred to me how it is like a parable for Jesus Christ's return and there is many parallels that I may even miss.  (don't get me wrong, I don't see my husband as a god but there are some foreshadowings there, God is all about relationships.)

All though Jesus is not here with me in bodily form he is still very much active in my life, just as my husband who is not here in person but still connected to us using the phone or other modern technology.  Jesus and I talk while in prayer and reading his love letters to me threw the Bible and that is when he tells me to do certain things for him on his behalf, where he gives me instruction and correction and encouragement for my life. Same with my husband's instructions for the daily house hold things and the extra for preparation for the new house, I am some times laxed and feel far from the Lord in prayer because I have not confessed everything to him but he still expects me to get it done and encourages me with that little nudge, saying it is all right Mary, you can do it because I have enabled you to. And once I confess my sins to Jesus and ask for his forgiveness, I feel close to him again, nothing is there hindering our relationship. 

Jesus provides for all my needs and also gives me blessings, gifts.  Just like my husband has.  And just as I could talk all day long about my husband and our love, I could talk all day about Jesus and his. I don't doubt my husband's return, I don't doubt that Jesus will return either. 

I long for it, I ask him to prepare me for it because I know he is coming for a bride that is with out spot or wrinkle and I am far from that.  His cleansing blood is like the shower I took to get all the grim and dirt off of me so that I may be clean for him.  When he comes I want to be found faithful to the calling on my life and not that bit of regret. 

Jesus didn't give us the exact time or date of his return because he said himself the he did not know, only the Father knows but he did give us things to watch out for and to expect just before he would.  I don't know the exact hour or second my husband is to walk threw that door but I wait for it with excitement and joy knowing that he has told me it will be soon, just as I am watching and waiting for my heavenly groom with expectance and joy and only get more excited as the days go by closer to his return.  As I told my children their father is coming, and to be prepared, I am telling you, Jesus is coming, be prepared! 

Believe me or not, that is on you to choose but as a Faithful Husband he is going to come back for his bride, you are invited to the wedding party, the new wine will offered and a table set, and a new home, a house, a mansion built with many room with you in mind but it is for you to accept to invitation.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Update on Sophia.. Praise God!

I thank you all for your concern and prayers over Sophia and offers of advice.  Saturday I did call Walgreens Pharmacist to see if he could suggest anything.. and they were not very helpful at all.  He said if it was pink eye she would need an anti-biotic for sure. I called the doctor's office which of course was closed because it was a Saturday. I didn't want to call their exchanges number since it wasn't a dire emergency. So I PRAYED over Sophia and asked IN JESUS NAME to heal her of what ever was wrong with her eyes and asked a few other online friends to keep her in  prayers as well.

By the end of the day her eye was pretty much cleared up.. just a little pink still.  I kept praying but had it in the back of my head that if her eye still had ANY signs of pink we would stay home from church Sunday.  I really hate to miss church and since our van is out of commission I had to asked a friend to go out of their way to pick us up.  When we got up this morning she seemed to be completely fine and no signs of infection what so ever!

The whites of her eyes are clear as can be and no leakage or goo.  She is not rubbing at them or has any complaint that they are bothering her.  I don't know about you all.. but it seems to me she is HEALED! AMEN. 

Praise God!  Thank you Lord!


Saturday, July 9, 2005

Saturday 6

You know the drill.. answer and leave in Pat's comment section.

1. How many mirrors are there in your home?  If you could go for the rest of your life without ever looking in a mirror (but still know that you hadn't missed a button or that your hair was disarrayed, etc.) would you? One in each bathroom, on in the girls room and two in my room on my dresser. 4 all together.  Since I have stopped wearing make up I hardly look in the mirror as it is.  Maybe I avoid the mirrors unconiously, afraid that I may not like what I see?? And when I do catch glimpses of myself I am surprised that I really am not as bad as I think I look. LOL stupid I know.  So maybe I could go the rest of my life with out looking in a mirror.. I am not vain.

2. What online abbreviation annoys you the most and why? IDK. (hahaha)

3. What do you hate the most in this world? Sin

4. You decide to go to your next high school reunion.  What do you anticipate would be the thing most people said about you behind your back? Boy she turned into a nut.. and what is up with having all those kids but her and Josh are so happy.. why cant we find love like that? LOL

5. You learn that because of some galactic mixup in fate itself, you must restart your life tomorrow in a new place.  You will emerge as a person with a unique past and won't seem out of the ordinary to those in the new place.  You will retain the experiences and memories of your past, but the people you are closest to will believe that you are dead and gone and you would be prohibited from contacting them.  Where would you go and why? What a terrible thing that would be!! I would rather just die. 

6. What are you most passionate about in this moment of your life and why? The End Times Message, the Return of Jesus Christ and praying for others.

Ohh why didn't I pick up that pack of hand sterlizer that was on sale!!!

Guess what my baby Sophia has from these symptoms..

Itchy eyes that are red/pinkish

Nasty milky fluid coming out of her tear ducts that are gluing her lashes together

Grumpy disposition

I am no medical expert but I fear she has the dreaded Pink Eye!

How she got it I am not fully sure.  We haven't been around any other children expect for last Sunday at church.  My suspicions is she caught it off the shopping cart at the grocery store today.  Maybe I should of took it as a prophetic warning when Annie pointed out the five pack of hand sterilizer and suggested we buy it.  Ofcourse I didn't because I was trying to pinch pennies and remembered the last time I got them how the kids just got the goo all over the place.

This evening when Sophia came up to me saying something was in her eye I shrugged it off thinking she has poked it and kissed it all better.  Then when the thick milky fluid started to seep I considered it to maybe be a blocked tear duct.  When Zane was a baby he suffered from blocked tear ducts badly and that is what this looked like.  But now she got up from sleeping complaining about her eyes and one is almost glued shut and the other one doesn't look too happy either.  I have wiped them with a damp paper towel and cleared them out as best as I can.  I guess a call to her pediatrician is in order in the morning. I am not even sure if they have Saturday hours.  So far none of the other three children have shown the signs of having it.  Let's pray we can keep this isolated!

I am wondering can you treat pink eye over the counter???  A trip to the doctor and the pharmacy would really hit our budget right now.  My van still needs the power steering pump fixed.  I am trying not to drive it until I can get it into a shop.  The mechanic friend Josh had asked to look at it said he didn't have the right tools.  So I am figuring at least $400 for it to get fixed.  YUCK!  That takes a nice chuck out of our savings we were going to use for the move.  Plus I just paid rent and some bills and did the major weekly grocery shopping.

Josh is figuring he will be on his way home by the latest Monday.  I am also busting at the seems with news about our house buying but I want to hold off on that until I have all our ducks in a row.  I don't want to get my hopes up and then have them crushed if it falls threw.  But more on that later.

Friday, July 8, 2005

A fwd I am glad I did not delete.. I have this stuff sitting on my desk and 4 children in the house!

This story can be confirmed TRUE at

       If you have children or grandchildren, PLEASE read this officer's
       story carefully. You can also verify the story at
       Dust Off (or a variant of the product) is available everywhere
       there's a computer.

       First I'm going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name
       is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is known nationwide
       for its crime rate. We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point
       we were # 2 in the nation in homicides per capita. I also have a
       police K-9 named Thor. He was certified in drugs and general duty.
       He retired at 3 years old because he was shot in the line of duty.
       He lives with us now and I still train with him because he likes it.
       I always liked the fact that there was no way to bring drugs into my
       house. Thor wouldn't allow it. He would tell on you. The reason I
       say this is so you understand that I know about drugs. I have taught
       in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our kids at least once a
       week if they used any drugs. Makes them promise they wont.

       I like building computers occasionally and started building a new
       one in February 2005. I also was working on some of my older
       computers. They were full of dust so on one of my trips to the
       computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF. Dust Off is a can of
       compressed air to blow dust off a computer. A few weeks later when I
       went to use one of them they were all used. I talked to my kids and
       my two sons both said they had used them on their computer and
       messing around with them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10
       dollars I paid for them. On February 28 I went back to the computer
       store. They didn't have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I
       bought a single jumbo can of Dust Off. I went home and set it down
       beside my computer.

       On March 1st, I left for work at 10 PM. Just before midnight my wife
       went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 5:30 am the next morning
       Kathy went downstairs to wake Kyle up for school, before she left
       for work. He was propped up in bed with his legs crossed and his
       head leaning over. She called to him a few times to get up. He
       didn't move. He would sometimes tease her like this and pretend he
       fell back asleep. He was never easy to get up. She went in and shook
       his arm. He fell over. He was pale white and had the straw from the
       Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can of Dust Off
       in his hands. Kyle was dead.

       I am a police officer and I had never heard of this. My wife is a
       nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found out from the
       coroner, after the autopsy, that only the propellant from the can of
       Dust off was in his system. No other drugs. Kyle had died between
       midnight and 1 AM

       I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids ages 9
       through 15. They even have a name for it. It's called dusting. A
       take off from the Dust Off name. It gives them a slight high for
       about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy who lives down the
       street from us showed Kyle how to do this about a month before. Kyle
       showed his best friend. Told him it was cool and it couldn't hurt
       you. Its just compressed air. It can't hurt you. His best friend
       said no.

       Kyle was wrong. It's not just compressed air. It also contains a
       propellant called R2. Its a refrigerant like what is used in your
       refrigerator. It is a heavy gas. Heavier than air. When you
       inhale it, it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with oxygen,
       out. That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases the oxygen to
       your brain, to your heart. Kyle was right. It can't hurt you. IT
       KILLS YOU. The horrible part about this is there is no warning.
       There is no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an
       overdose; it can just go randomly, terribly wrong. Roll the dice and
       if your number comes up you die. IT'S NOT AN OVERDOSE. It's Russian
       Roulette. You don't die later. Or not feel good and say I've had too
       much. You usually die as you're breathing it in. If not, you die
       within 2 seconds of finishing "the hit." That's why the straw was
       still in Kyle's mouth when he died. Why his eyes were still open.

       The experts want to call this huffing. The kids don't believe it's
       huffing. As adults we tend to lump many things together. But it
       doesn't fit here. And that's why it's more accepted. There is no
       chemical reaction. no strong odor. It doesn't follow the huffing
       signals. Kyle complained a few days before he died of his tongue
       hurting. It probably did. The propellant causes frostbite. If I had
       only known.

       It's easy to say hey, it's my life and I'll do what I want. But it
       isn't. Others are always effected. This has forever changed our
       family's life. I have a hole in my heart and soul that can never be
       fixed. The pain is so immense I can't describe it. There's nowhere
       to run from it. I cry all the time and I don't ever cry. I do what
       I'm supposed to do but I don't really care. My kids are messed up.
      One won't talk about it. The other will only sleep in our room at
       night. And my wife, I can't even describe how bad she is taking
       this. I thought we were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe
       because we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.

       After Kyle died another story came out. A Probation Officer went to
       the school system next to ours to speak with a student. While there
       he found a student using Dust Off in the bathroom. This student told
       him about another student who also had some in his locker. This is a
       rather affluent school system. They will tell you they don't have a
       drug problem there. They don't even have a dare or plus program
       there. So rather than tell everyone about this "new" way of getting
       high they found, they hid it. The probation officer told the media
       after Kyle's death and they, the school, then admitted to it. I know
       that if they would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't
       have been in my house.

       We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs. Using
       Dust Off isn't new and some "professionals" do know about. It just
       isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They all seem to know
       about it.

       April 2nd was 1 month since Kyle died. April 5th would have been his
       15th birthday. And every weekday I catch myself sitting on the
       living room couch at 2:30 in the afternoon and waiting to see him
       get off the bus. I know Kyle is in heaven but I can't help but
       If I died and went to Hell.

       This Officer is asking for everyone who receives this email to
       forward it to everyone in their address book, even Law Enforcement

Great! Now we have to watch out for hyperlinks in IM from even ppl we know..

Caution: Worms Spreading by IM
During the past several weeks, AOL has observed an increased number of small malicious programs called worms spreading by instant message (or IM). AOL helps protect AOL and AIM users by blocking instant messages containing hyperlinks known to be associated with the worms; however, you should always be cautious with any hyperlink you receive in an e-mail or IM. Once a worm infects a computer, the worm spreads itself by sending an instant message containing a hyperlink to every contact on the infected user's buddy list. You will only be infected if you click on the hyperlink and download the file.

To help avoid being infected by an AIM worm or any other virus:

  • Be extremely cautious when clicking on hyperlinks in e-mails and IMs, even from people you know.
  • Do not click on hyperlinks in IMs that are unexpected, out of the ordinary, or otherwise suspicious.
  • Run anti-virus software and keep it up to date.

    AOL Members:
    More Details on AIM Worms Spreading
  • Thursday, July 7, 2005


    If you have watched t.v. or been online at all today you will have seen the horrible events that have occurred in London England.  I know of at least one of my online friends who lives there, Sammyfc.  I pray that she and her family are safe! 

    Please pray for all of London's residence and the families who will be effected by these bombings.  Pray that they will be lead to the Lord and eyes and ears and hearts will be open to the fact that his return is very near.  Sadly I feel we are going to see even greater attacks and disasters coming in the months and few years we have left ahead.  Use these times to talk to all you know about YOUR faith in Jesus Christ and why you can be at Peace when the whole world seems to be crumbling down around us.  

    Lord I lift up London England to you.  Lord you know all that is to happen and nothing is a surprise to you.  Lord I ask that you would touch each citizen of that city and country and be with them.  Open their eyes and ears and hearts to you Lord.  Send ministers of the Gospel to speak your words of Love and Salvation to them.  Use these bombings to wake the people up who are in slumber, to bring a harvest of souls to you.  Comfort the families who have lost members.  Bring peace to the hearts of those who know you and show them that they can have perfect peace in you and you are not the author of fear and confusion.  We know there will not be true peace for the world until you, the Prince of Peace come.  We long for your return Lord.  Prepare our hearts, prepare your bride.  Lord I lift up Sammy.  Lord I don't know where she was or if she was in any of those bombings but I trust that you have your hand on her right now.  Use her to be a shinnying light to her Muslim family during this time of trouble.  Use her to show your love and hope to all around her.  

    In Jesus Name I Pray! Amen!!    

    Tuesday, July 5, 2005

    This weeks Saturday Six.. I have to answer since my question made it in!

    You know the drill.. Pat asks six questions.. we answer and leave a link in his comment section. It is ok to be late *wink* especially since it was a Holiday weekend. 

    1. A stray dog wonders into your yard, obviously weak, hungry and thirsty.  He is a very friendly dog, but if you feed it or give it water, you know that the dog won't leave your yard and you'll end up keeping him.  If you don't help the animal, he might die.  What do you do? I would like to think any decent person would help a stray animal! I would welcome the mutt in and take it as some one's answered prayers.  The kids have been begging for a dog.  And if we had already gotten a dog and couldn't keep this one, I would at the very least feed it and take it to a shelter or try and find it a home.

    2. You must lose one of the following:  a foot, a hand, an eye or an ear.  Which would you get rid of and why? I would rather not be the person making that choice.. leave it up to the torturers who want to do the hacking.  I think I could live with what ever was lost and learn to depend on the Lord even more for my needs.

    3. Scalzi of "
    By the Way" recently posted about the top unanswered questions in science today.  Click here and scroll down to the list of the top 25 biggest mysteries:  which one would you MOST like to have answered? I looked at the list and really most of those questions I either could care less about knowing the answers to or I Know the answer to them because of what God says,, and I trust what he has to say on those matters lol  But one that was cool was: What Are the Limits of Conventional Computing? I know we are going to be facing trends that are leading into using more technology.

    Joe, our AOL Journals Editor, says blogs are boring:  either everyone talks about pretty much the same topics, or regular people lead dull lives, he suggests.  So what keeps you reading other people's blogs? I am a blog addict maybe?  I like to think of blogs as a way to connect with other ppl and ppl to connect with me.  Also I think you can learn a lot from other ppl and grow.  I guess it is more about community then anything else.

    Lisa:  You are writing a bestseller book.  What kind of book is it (romance, mystery, science fiction, action adventure, historical, gothic, classic, fiction, non fiction, biography, other) ?   What is your main character's first name and the setting in which it will take place?  And give us a one sentence tidbit about the plot ...   I haven't touched my book in a longggg time.. thinking of just deleting it and starting over.  It started as some what gothic fiction (there are appearances of demons in it) but has evolved into romance. My main Character is Hannah who is just getting ready to turn 18 and break away from her conservative religious background and seek a music career. Settings are in Saint Louis and a trip across country to LA.  The working title to give you a clue about the plot is called The Prodigal Daughter.  I have been playing with the idea of just writing a somewhat Biographical book about my abortion and my now prolife work.

    Mary:  Jim Elliot once said, "When it comes time to die...make sure all you got to do is die."  What do you have to do or would like to do before you die? Make a list of at least 6 things.  And since you made the list.. will  you actually try to accomplish those things? ohhh this didn't seem so hard when I first thought of it.  I saw it in the Laugh and Lift daily e-mail I get and knew it was a perfect question for the SIX. It reminded me of that comercial for a bathroom fixture company that shows an old women on her death bed and she was telling those around her that she did everything in her life that she could possible ever want to do.. and then she peeks into the neighbors window and sees the fancy bathtub and mutters and then passes. But also I liked this question because there are several journals and friends dealing with their mortality either because some one they know has died recently or they know some one or they themselves are facing an illness, so it has been on my mind.  I have been thinking about it for a week and this is what I have come up with.

    1. Own a house and make it a nice home for my family.

    2. Learn either Hebrew & Arabic or Greek so I can read scripture in it's org. language.

    3. Go on a mission trip or live as a missionary in the Mid East.. this is where knowing Hebrew and Arabic would come in handy I think.  Or China.. I feel a draw there too.

    4. Send my son to Collage and see my daughters get married to equally yoked husbands and maybe have lots and lots of grandchildren. (ofcourse if my daughters want to go to Collage too they can.. just saying we can't pay for both.. lol either a wedding or school, remember I have 3 girls!)

    5. Go back to school and get a teaching degree and then become a teacher.

    6. Finish writing at least ONE book and get it published.

    and an extra..

    7. Leave a legacy of Love. To be remembered as a women who loved the Lord with all her heart and served him well and shared that love with all those around her with the way she lived. To be remembered as a Mother who trained her children up in the way they should go and provided for their every need. To be remembered as a passionate wife who loved her husband madly and deeply.  To be remembered as the friend that was always available when ever she was needed. To be remembered as the sister who gave good advice and gave tough love because she cared.  To be remembered as the daughter who learned and grew from her past.  To plant seeds that will bear a harvest of souls won to the Lord and lives effected for his Glory.  To be remembered as not perfect but as ME. To hear when I see the Lord face to face.. "Well done my good and faithful servant"

    That is a tall order.. I better get to work on that.