Josh got back home Friday from being on the road all week and I don't know what it is but I have been pissed off at him almost from the time he walked in the door. It's like he brought home some nasty spirit with him. And then every time I begin to soften he does or says something stupid and disrespectfull. First he called me a nag... so I threw my flip flop at him and missed... it hit a full pitcher of kool aid on the table,spilling it over and broke a glass (and guess who had to clean it up). then he committed the most grievous sin and called me the big B word... you don't call any women that.. especial your wife.. even if she is being moody. I don't call him names. So I took my friend up on her offer and went to a party with her and stayed out till after 2 in the morning (it was a fancy party with old rich people, not too much fun and Josh kept texting me all night). And then just when we were starting to make nice.. well I found something on his computer and he is un apologetic about it... as if being away from me for weeks at a time is an excuse.. he knows how that hurts me and how I view it as cheating...an old issue I refuse to keep having the same fight about but needless to say he is being frozen out.
If he would just make some effort to kiss my ass, some effort to make it better, make me feel better.. see that he has hurt me and try and make up for it but nope ...because of course it's all my fault right, and he doesn't see that he has done anything wrong and this is just a thing we will be over in a few days. Why do I got to be the one to make it all right all the time??? Not this time.
I think all the turmoil played a part in me getting sick yesterday, I spent most of the day in bed. Yes he did bring me lunch and we did snuggle a bit. He made the comment that it took me getting sick to be nice to him and hug on him, I told him that's only because my mommy wasn't around to snuggle with (cuz you know when you are sick you want comfort right). I still had to take the kids to school and make most of dinner.. couldn't let me just loaf in bed and have quiet time.
When he went to bed I was watching a movie down stairs and fell asleep in his chair and didn't come to bed. Not that I did it on purpose like he seemed to think this morning.
Why did God make men so stupid?