Sunday, May 6, 2007


Worries of this World trying to over take me.

I try not to pout and hold on but I wonder...

How can  blessings, be taken?

Where is provision, where is help, Am I not standing on the rock that can not be moved?

Is this a test, I feel like I am failing.

Am I being broken down so I can be built back up?

I feel my old hard heart speaking, see.. this is what you get for hoping, did you really think it was all for you to keep.  This is the same story of your life all over again. Dreams are silly and only get crushed.  You don't appreciate, there is no unconditional.. all love can be taken.

Another voice speaks and says wait, patients is key, all is not lost just yet and on the other side is joy.  Put pride aside.

And the hard heart says back.. you can't live in denial and must prepare for the worst, there is no hope for this situation.  No miracle at the midnight hour.  You never deserved it, there was no care, life just isn't fair.  The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.  You are too small for it to matter anyway. This is nothing compaired to what is to come.

A conflict in my soul.

Are you trying to get my attention.. you have it.  All is out of my hands and control.



  1. Hi Mary, I've missed you!!!!!!
    I apologize for not writing or chatting with you in so long, but my computer has not been helping.grrrrrr
    And things down in Texas didn't go very well for me either.
    So, I moved back to CT and am living with my youngest daughter till I can get myself a home.
    So much to talk about and I don't want to write it all here.
    I have a phone number for you so I'll try it tomorrow Lord willing.
    Write me and send me your phone number again and address to update my new book.
    After reading your blog here I am concerned about you. I guess the Lord is telling me to pray again about you. My prayer life has really gotten off track in the last year.
    I plan on getting me back on track again. We have lots to catch up on.
    Love to hear from you sweetie,
    your friend always IN Christ Jesus,
    btw....your haircut looks gorgeous on you...

  2. I know this despair you speak of.  It is not of God.  All is not lost.  You are not forgotten, you are not being punished, Mary. Patience.  Trust.  Faith.  Prayer.  Listen to his still small voice, listen to Him telling you, "Daughter, I know the plans I have for you."  I know you can hear it.

  3. Love your entries always.  Have a good week.

  4. A beautiful piece of writing!!!  Moving and stirring, like a psalm.  Don't know your specifics.  But all things aren't a test.  All things are not directly from God given or taken.  Free will and choice is at play in the world.  One's free choice can have ripples that spread to many lives.  Sometimes it is just a season we have to endure like a hot, parched summer or a freezing, hard winter.  -  Barbara

  5. Hoping that all will work out and praying for the same.  If God is for us who can be against us?

  6. Mary- I have to think we might be twins as we both seem to have the same life and thoughts so much of the time!  I wish I could give words of wisdom here, but as I feel so much the same right now- I can't except keep trusting!  Love Carolyn :)