Saturday, April 29, 2006

Worried Sick??

Did you every worry yourself so much that it manifested into a physical ailment???  Now.. I don't tend to think of myself as a "worry wort" or tend to let the cares of daily life get to me..and I like to think I can trust God with it all and NOT have to worry but it seems I may have let stress catch up with me.. maybe.  I have been sick with some funky cold since Tuesday or so and it is just now lifting.  At first I atdributied the crappy aching feelings to my period (and thanking God it came Monday morning and not over the weekend).  And when chills and that fuzzy head started to come on I fought the good fight and demanded that I will not get sick.. but then I got a fever and just had no strength.. I pretty much have been a slug since Wednesday.  Yesterday I woke up and finally drained all that nice fleam and fluid that had built up, very gross lung cookies and nose glue overflow (as if you needed an illustration lol).  I can't think where I picked it up.. haven't been around anyone who has been sick and I'm the only one who has been effected in the house.

Thankfully Josh has been home all week to pitch in with the kids but you know how men are lol.  Women are the care givers for a reason.. but I still couldn't help being a tad bit resentful.. why can't I be babied and waited on like I did for him when he was sick last month? but I got over it.. he just isn't build like that.. he tired in his own ways so I will give him some credit.  He did do major grocery shopping and he did make me some chicken broth for lunch once.. and let me hawg the bed while he slept on the couch so he would not be infected too.  But now the house .. that was almost immaculate when we got home Sunday (Audra is a saint and a clean freak) is a wreck and the dishwasher could be ran a few times and the laundry is back to mt. impossible.

So what was I all worried about.. what was/is mulling around my brain and soul.. lots and lots but since most of it is nothing I can do anything about I won't keep kicking it around and playing with it.. I'll give it over to the one who can and will and does have the power to see to it that all will work out as it should.  So what no one has RSVP for that AT HOME party I am throwing next week, it's just my first party in my new house. And God knows how life is on the road for my husband and the fellows he has to work with.. I'll let him take care of those situations andwork on his walk with him.. and he knows the timing of my first daughter's passage into womanhood... if it is time for her first period or just her body getting ready.. so be it.. as if I can do anything about that (BUT DANG IT.. SHE IS ONLY 9YRS OLD!!) And he will bring to justice the ones who have hurt my friend and made him sick over that whole drama.. he is the one who convicts hearts and minds and heals what is broken.  And that D- my Brilliant son brought home on his midterm report in Science (one of his fav subjects!!), Well Lord you are just going to have to give us wisdom on how to deal with that see what is really going on there.  And I just have to remember.. everyone's spiritual health and life does not rest on my shoulders nor by my example(thank God!).  We all make our own choices, we all have our own does no good to cast pearls before swine but it is prudent to be wise as a serpent and innocent as a dove.

Well.. at least my health has improved and I can focus on one thing at a time again.


  1. AH i started last week and then got a cold ketp sayingnthe crappy feeling wat the cycle too. Here lately I thought i was dissapointed in GOD and feeling not close to him for the last year. BUT you know what . Its not God its those that call themselves HIS!!!!!!!!I feel close to him its his people I dont.
    as far as your party if you remember jan of 05 I had my first party ever in 20 years and 3 came!!!!!!! I feel for you but somehow I bet you will have more than three

  2. aww mary, i'm sorry its been one of those weeks. but i'm glad your better. as far as men go, remember back in january when i had strep...........HORRIBLE? i dealt on my own, kevin was here, but working nights he was sleeping when i needed help. i was so sick i couldn't stand up, BUT i still got up at 5:30 every morning and put marina on the bus, and got back up and walked miah down at 10:30 to catch his bus, PLUS got them back off, and fixed them supper and got their baths and everything. then the deal with annie.... i came into that around her age, and from what research i've seen, be thankful, girls are hitting it earlier and earlier, i've even seen on our local news that some start as early as 6 and 7. then zane's d.... you may need to talk to his teacher, i know that sometimes projects, and other simple things that would affect my grades would fall right at midterms, and i'd have a horrible report...........BUT i wasn't in trouble at all, it was just timing. and then the walk with God.......its a hard lesson to learn, but sometimes even the ones we looked to as excellent teachers tend to not be what we build them up to be. i've learned that anymore my kind of faith, and love, and understanding is a rarity. i want so bad to shake people and say "HEY!!!!!!!!!!  WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR PUSHING THE ONES WHO NEED GOD AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they do it through sitting themselves on pedestals, and by thinking that just cause they're different, they don't belong.  but remember JESUS himself was rejected by the "high and mighty" so instead HE spent his  time with the lowly ones that no one else cared about.  so just keep fighting, and praying, and remember the poem footprints, those times when we think we are walking alone we are actually being carried.

    sending blessings and love,

  3. sorry you had such a hard week girl. we all have times when stress gets the best of us and yes it does turn into a phyical illness too.  Stress takes a tole on our bodies.Just maybe try to find more quiet time with the Lord to keep your peace of mind ok.  I hope you have a wonderful joyful next week


  4. I definately think that worry, stress and depression can all reduce your defenses and leave you more infection and to suggestion.  Glad you are improving and refocusing!  And thanks for the book review in the subsequent entry!  -  Barbara