Turbulence.. Blister In The Sun.. Robbing Peter To Pay Paul.. Snap, Crack, Pop.. Hiding... Sad.. Lonely.. Excited.. Grieving..Pissed Off..Disillusioned.. Deleted Friendships..
All worthy titles for what has been swirling around in my mind these last two weeks since my last journal entry. Obviously too much has gone on to give the blow by blow or play by play. Lots of ups and downs for the people in my life and for me, enough to leave me screaming Come Lord Jesus Come.. Sooooooon!!! Please! This world is so dark and people are hurting so much.. and other people are so evil I am having trouble having compassion for them.
And besides all that I am sun burnt!!! I haven't been sun burnt in about 3 yrs.. I am always so careful.. I like my creamy white skin lol but now I am lobster red... and I can't take a picture to illustrate my sexy tan lines and send it to my husband who is out of town! That only adds to my grouchiness. Saturday I helped out at the church yard sale and that is when I got burnt. I put sun screen on but maybe should of made better choices about my clothing.. some with better covering. I still feel the sting and am putting lotion on. I don't think my cleavage has ever been this burnt before.
It is not too serious and some say the color is good for me but I have had it drilled into my head to be careful of too much sun since I was little because us Sweed-toe-heads burn so badly when we get too much sun and my father always cautioned us about sun cancer and getting wrinkles prematurely from sun bathing. I say the same things to my son and daughter who have the same complexion as me and of course they just give me a stupid look like I am a nut.
Yesterday was a hard day for me. It started ok.. had a day of fun planned for me and the kids. I have promised them we can go to the park every other day this summer and yesterday was park day. Also we were to pick up their checks from the school district from them going to summer school and take them shopping (yes they got paid for good attendance at summer school.. go figure) In the excitement of getting ready to go, as usually they beat me out of the house and piled into the van. Only this time Zane was not paying attention and SLAMMED poor Lilly's hand in the car door!!
I knew it was bad but thought she would be ok if we kept it iced till the swelling went down. Only her middle finger seemed to be swelling and effected. I feel guilty now that I didn't take her to urgent care right then but we went on with our shopping and running around. By the time we were ready to go to the park I knew Lilly needed to be seen by a doctor. Took her to the Urgent Care.. and all the other kids with us ofcourse.. the whole tribe takes up just about all the small waiting room. They X-Rayed her hand and put her finger in a splint and said yep it is broken and advised us to go see a bone doctor (not even about to try and spell the proper name of that type of doctor). So that is what we are doing today.
My poor baby.. this is the first broken bone in our family. She doesn't like it being wrapped like that because it is so itchy lol and she can't put on the Barbie shoes on her doll with her hand like that or draw like she loves to do. Ofcourse it had to be her right hand, her writing hand.
So last night when I was feeling really bad about my baby and doing the woe is me act I get a call from a friend at church that put me in my place, put it all in perspective. One of Pastors has been battling for his life with bone cancer for almost as long as I have known him. He has been up and down with it and at times it looked like he would make it, beat it. But since his last hospital stay a few months ago he has not been able to get back to health and has been slowly slipping away in front of us all. He is an inspiration and deeply loved. Yesterday he was taken to the hospital and it does not look good. I don't have all the details but I know many feel like it may be a death watch. It is hard to know how to pray in situations like this so all I can do is ask for The Father's Will Be Done and Comfort to his family. It is very hard and I know I am not the only one who has been crying and crying. But we remind ourselves that this is not the end and even if he does pass he is going HOME and oh what a home coming it will be for him.
All the other dramas going on can fade away as far as I am concerned. I have not been living my life very well lately and thinking of Bill and what a wonder man of God he is and all he has gone threw, and all the people he has touched with his life, makes me want to be a better person, to be more loving, to be more like Jesus.
Please keep me and my church family in your prayers.