Ok it is January.. time for me to talk about it since it will be the running theme for the rest of my month it seems. January is Sanctity Of Life Month, the 18th is what is known as Pro-Life Sunday and this month is also the anniversary of Roe Vs Wade. If any of you know me long enough you know my history and my strong views on abortion. I used to have a great webpage with my testimony and a memorial but was unable to transfer them when AOL shut down it's free webpages.
I was 15 when I had my abortion. I can't go into the devastation that so called choice has brought upon my life and keep it to a short post (I will go digging in my archives soon and do some re posting) But I tell you what, I miss that child ever so much and can't wait to see her when I get to Heaven. And my other children miss that sibling they never got to know too. January is the month I allow myself to grieve over who I have come to call Beautiful (named after the temple gates where in Acts the beggar was healed in the Name Of Jesus). She would be just over 16yrs old now, a big sister, and God only knows what else she would of accomplished in this world if she had been given a chance at life.
I know the Lord has brought me a long way in the healing process, so much so that I can publicly talk about it and on occasion be down at the clinics praying and talking with girls with other pro-life friends. For some, if not most women who have gone threw an abortion it is a word, an experience they can't even utter under their breath much less talk about openly. For me, ever since God brought to surface that deep wound, it is a subject I can't seem to get away from... he attracts some interesting ppl into my life and in some way or another he uses little ol me to show others how abortion hurts women, they deserve better and there IS help, hope and healing threw Jesus Christ. Women need compassion and love who have gone threw an abortion or warned before they go into this life altering direction
It is not something I ask to do, but God brings opportunities and what can I do.. say NO I don't want to Lord, use some one else Lord, How can I when I am not all together Lord? NO... because he gets the Glory for it when he uses people who are not the greatest yet enables them to be used where they have been hurt the most. This is why normally January I am all prayed up, armour on and ready to go. Yet this year I am startled, caught off kilter and not sure how or why he could possibly think I am in a place to do his will. Yet everywhere I go this month I know it will come up. Like yesterday at lunch with a friend. Some one overheard our conversation and had to join in. I'm used to that lol but my friend is not and was a bit miffed at the interruption. Here we were lamenting about some men situations and it came up about a girl she knew who asked her advice and didn't follow it and now is on the path to hurting over her decision, and then we got into our own stories a bit.. twilight.. huh that I don't think would help me forget every detail that haunts me or the before and after. And this women two tables behind us chimes in.. lol. guess we were being loud or some how gave her an invitation to join.. still an interesting conversation.
So just fair warning, this month if I have the will and time, expect more posting on this subject. Writing helps me prepare and get out what is in my head. I have been asked to be a guest speaker on the 18th for two services at a friend's church. I am not sure how I am going to be able to do it this month.. but I know I will and HE will give me strength some how.