Friday, September 1, 2006

Save the drama for YOUR mamma and leave MY Mamma alone!!!

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.

John 8:44 Ye are of [your] father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

Proverbs 17:4 A wicked doer giveth heed to false lips; [and] a liar giveth ear to a naughty tongue.

James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.


Ever feel like Satan is out to crush your spirit??  I sure have.. and lately its been on all fronts.. but this takes the cake.  Reading these scriptures helps me some, I can feel the rant I was about to rave already calming with in me.  BUT, It hurts deeply to be so Blatantly lied about.. but even more so when it was from an old friend.. and he said it TO MY OWN MOTHER!!!!!!!!   I would repeat it here what was said but I don't want to spread filth and don't want to make you all blush.  Needless to say my mother wouldn't believe such trash about me and saw right threw this person.  It saddens me to think I have to question every detail and every conversation this friend and I ever had over the course of our almost 6 year friendship and realize he is NOT the person he seemed to be. It makes me even sicker to realize how he is attached to my life and was connected to my children, who love him dearly.. and now to my sister and my nieces.  How did he think he could say such things to my mother and it not come back to me.. and then add even more lies to it and say she took it wrong or drew her own conclusions?!  My mother doesn't stir the pot, doesn't say foul things or is even wired to think that way.  She said she asked him point blank to be clear on his statements, because it sure did not sound like her daughter who he was talking about.  I have no explanation for this person.. other thenhe must have a demon on/in him and is submitting to that.  He surely isn't the person I knew or thought I knew.  Shame on him for even thinking or coming up with such nasty things about me.. and double shame on him for saying things to my MOTHER.. how disrespectful.. the things he said to my mother no one should say to ANYONE'S mother ever!  And my sweet mom.. anyone else would of back handed him for such gossip, but not her.

Needless to say this person is cut out of my world.. I don't even want to say his name anymore or hear others even breath it.  Kicking the dust off my sandals and moving on so to speak.  I could forgive him.. but that doesn't mean I have to let him back into my life or my family's life.  I haven't ever been nothing but a good friend to him, gone out of my way for him numerous times, loved on him and only preferred to see the good points about him.. but this is too much.. there is NO going back.

I have been feeling very discouraged lately.. many things that have happen that make me want to just recoil from others and keep to myself.  I can feel another brick go up with each situation and that is NOT how I want to live.  But I also don't want to live under all this calamity, commotion, and stress that is a drain unto my soul.  How did it get like this?  Where did I misstep and land into this big pile of poo??  I have people LIEING about me.. and we're not talk about just casual aquaintences.. but in laws and people who used to be in my inner circle of trust.  And besides all that.. I feel like I am having to deal with it all on my own.  Sure I have a few good friends.. but I need my companion here and he isn't.. I am waiting and waiting on him to come home off the road and help me deal with the house, the kids, the bills, and all this other stuff.  Josh was supposed to come home for the Holiday weekend.. he should be here right now.. but no.. he has to stay until the Project is FINISHED and leave me hanging.  And this all goes on to what I am sure is the intensity of PMS.  I normally dont get all flushed and rallied up about stuff.. but Satan must know this is the week to do it. 

Lord help me.. cuz I am at a loss right now.  And maybe that is what you meant for all along.. so I would turn to you, the Way, the Truth & The Life, The Lover Of My Soul.


  1. Amen, He does want you to trust him only and to give it all to him.  However, your normal hormonal human self makes that hard.  Hang in there!  
    You are right, you can forgive this man, but Iwouldn't take him back as a friend.
    Whew, hope things get better!

  2. Things will get better, they always do don't they??  Try to have a good weekend.

  3. I finally made it to your journal!!!! Yeah!  Hubby put another stick of RAM in this old pc and I updated AOL and you came right up.  -  I hate you are having these issues.  I do know that we all need to pull into ourselves from time to time.  To regroup, strengthen, spend more time with God, etc.  Give yourself time to heal, put don't stay closed down.  We have to risk.  We have to love.  We have to reach out.  And some will lie about us.  Some will hate us.  Some will kick us.  Most often it is the the Lord in us or the change he has brought to us they are reacting to.  And sometimes I think Satan just sends some along to throw us for a loop.  I'll be praying for you!  -  Barbara

  4. ((((Mary))))

    I'm so sorry you're going through this right now.  I've had betrayal from a "friend" before (although not nearly as bad as what you've experienced), and I know the depth of that knife-through-the-heart pain.

    Take a little time to go off by yourself and just spend some quiet time with God.  You don't need any words to pray - He knows your pain.  Let His presence wash over you and give you a measure of His peace.

    Praying for you!


  5. Gosh, I am SO SORRY to hear this.  Being betrayed is one of the WORST feeling in the world and so sorry that you are going through it.  I don't know what gets into some people sometimes.  You must be doing something right to have someone say such hurtful untrue things about you!  Know what I mean?

    Who I am… underneath it all:

    My Spiritual Journal:

  6. Great Journal!!!!!!!!!!!
    God Bless