Thursday, May 25, 2006

Not everyone Loves me..I get it.. Thanks.

Why do I bother?  Because that is who I am.  But sometimes it hurts so much! It's not fair.. NO.. it is not!!!  But that is how the world is.  Reach out and it will bite you back.  But not always.. and those rare times.. you will be blessed for it.
 
I've had two very hard blows recently and it makes me want to crawl in a corner and say screw it.. I don't need friends anyhow.  One long time friend told me she don't like me when I am not HIGH (she was high mind you lol but still that hurt..WTH.. you don't like the sober me you don't like the real me?) and another saying our personalities just don't mesh.. (and other words that she said in an oh so sweet I don't want to sound rude but.. tone and still was rude and cut me deep).  And thank you Barb for that comment in last entry..it is a very true quote from that movie.
"Oh, Polly, they are just mad because they don't understand what you've got or how to get it."  It is very encouraging but still I hurt.
 
Why do we bother investing time in friends?  Why do we allow our self to be emotionally open to others?  Why!?  Because it is very lonely behind a wall.  Because we are built to have relationships..with God and with others. Because we want to love and feel love.  Because we don't grow well with out our friends there to bringing out the best in us.
 
I guess I am just feeling really hurt tonight and lonely.  Josh has been gone and wont be home for at least another week.  I need adult interaction and my one true friend has been busy (with said other friend) and I am feeling left out.

9 comments:

  1. Ooooh been there, done that, have that stupid tee shirt.  I had a long time friend say that she could only have one friend at a time.  And basically it wasn't my time anymore.  Ouch.
    Keep praying.  God always sends you what you need.
    Traci

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  2. countrybumkin779May 25, 2006 at 9:48 PM

    well mary, the miles separate us, and that is quiet a problem in times like this. but i love you more than you could ever imagine. i consider you one of my true friends, and that is a very guarded group. i learned a long time ago to guard my heart, and my soul, because i am overly sensitive as it is. but if i could be right there with you right now i would hug you close and say you cry on my shoulder a while while i cry on yours. i do love you, sending extra love, and extra extra blessings, jess

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  3. Well i think you are AWESOME and passionate about things that matter to you and that right there tells me you have a wonderful character. I am sorry you were hurt by friends, i truly understand that. So many times in my life i just want to shut down and never care but there are people who mean the world to me even if they hurt me.
    Love,lisa jo

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  4. hello friend so sorry you was hurt by a friend but maybe they was not your true friends and remnember God closes doors and friendships all the time to prepare you for somehting else he has planned i will be keeping you in my prayers for this and pray God will will bring you an awasome wonderful God loving sister in the Lord God bless kelley

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  5. >>>One long time friend told me she don't like me when I am not HIGH (she was high mind you lol but still that hurt..WTH.. you don't like the sober me you don't like the real me?)<<<

    (((Mary))) I understand this pain.  I lost a long-time friend after I quit drinking and she continued.  She said I'd gotten all "holier than thou," but truthfully I found out that the main thing we had in common was our drinking.  It still hurt, though.

    Big HUGS,
    Gwynn

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  6. God knows and understands your pain.  Look how Jesus' home town rejected and ridiculed him!  Keep those eyes and that heart open, as I am sure He is preparing for you a friend who has much in common with the New You that He is creating.  -  Barbara

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  7. (((((Mary))))
    I can empathize with the pain and heart ache. I do think that Barb said the perfect thing, of how Jesus was rejected from the people who watched him grow up.

    You ARE in my prayers and although we may be more or less faceless, you have many people who love and care about you and that do consider you a precious friend. I know it's NOT the same, but I hope that we can be support to you.

    God Bless
    Christy

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  8. So sorry to hear that those who you considered friends have proven otherwise. I hope it is some consolation that I consider you to be a very dear friend! :-)

    ~ Susan
    http://journals.aol.com/njmom72/TheStrawberryPatch

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  9. I have found over the years that people will always let you down. Those you think are your friends will eventually do something that really gets you mad. The choice there is to decide whether you want to unload this person or quietly forgive them. What is best for you? That is probably why I have no one to call "My Friend" at this stage in my life. My Regards, Bill.

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