Why do I bother? Because that is who I am. But sometimes it hurts so much! It's not fair.. NO.. it is not!!! But that is how the world is. Reach out and it will bite you back. But not always.. and those rare times.. you will be blessed for it.
I've had two very hard blows recently and it makes me want to crawl in a corner and say screw it.. I don't need friends anyhow. One long time friend told me she don't like me when I am not HIGH (she was high mind you lol but still that hurt..WTH.. you don't like the sober me you don't like the real me?) and another saying our personalities just don't mesh.. (and other words that she said in an oh so sweet I don't want to sound rude but.. tone and still was rude and cut me deep). And thank you Barb for that comment in last entry..it is a very true quote from that movie.
"Oh, Polly, they are just mad because they don't understand what you've got or how to get it." It is very encouraging but still I hurt.
Why do we bother investing time in friends? Why do we allow our self to be emotionally open to others? Why!? Because it is very lonely behind a wall. Because we are built to have relationships..with God and with others. Because we want to love and feel love. Because we don't grow well with out our friends there to bringing out the best in us.
I guess I am just feeling really hurt tonight and lonely. Josh has been gone and wont be home for at least another week. I need adult interaction and my one true friend has been busy (with said other friend) and I am feeling left out.