Thursday, August 28, 2003

Part 2 me and smoking

Ya know, and especaly now adays, Smokers have a culter all of thier own, much the same way drug users do. We run in own little groups, especaly at break time. We have our own little convient stores. We have T-shirts, specail bonus for buying a certain brand. We have parphanila that is essenchel to smoking, the lighter and if nessary, the ash tray. When I was in school we even had own own little cornner street to go to at luch to smoke,"Smokers Corner" For smart people this should not look apealing at all,
and Not Glamorous. But for a shy girl looking to break out and be the wild child it was just the thing for me to feel part of the click. Really I have no excuses because got all the warnings in health class of how it is bad for your health, and I inherently knew it was not good. More part of the wild child image I was going for I guess. But hey I am all grown up now. Married with four children. And I am not going for that Wild Child look anymore. I am reborn and that part of me is dead right! Right!
So now that I have made my mind up to not be a smoker, why do I still do it?! When I didn't want to smoke pot anymore I gave that up, why is this so hard? And ppl know it is hard so they do give you some breathing room, but you still get the disappointed glances.(rightly so) Wish I could check into some clinc for smokers and spend a week there and come back out clean. Or take a pill and the cravings would be gone. Hey my one friend said she did it with hypnosis. Aw but those are not how God would have me
deal with this problem. Those are easy ways and not dealing with what he wants me to deal with. It is a Spiritual issue. A battle. A war with the flesh. A sin he wants me to put down, to over come. To close the door on. He does not want me to go back to it again and again as if a dog goes back to his own vomit and laps it up. (I know eww, but that is scripture of how God see it when we return to sin). So How do I deal with this, over come this. I have been smoking for 12yrs now.

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