After two full weeks of not working.. I mean very long, long days at home, my husband informs me this morning he is likely leaving town tomorrow for an 8 week job.
I am having very mixed emotions about this right now. Should I be doing the happy dance or should I be sobbing?
Well at least next week my bank account will be doing the happy dance because right now it is sobbing from being over drawn and being charged up the wazooo in over drafts.
How am I going to live.. survive the next month and a half with out the love of my life, the heart of our family, the one who keeps it all running and going????!
The last two weeks have not been all sun shine to say the least. We were apart almost for two weeks and then thrown together almost non stop for two weeks. There has been a strange spirit on my home because of it. We have just gotten out of the getting to knowing each other again and being able to stand the annoying things that bug us about each other stage and become comfortable with each other, only to be taken apart again. And you know the money issue always puts some stress on a marriage but I tell you ever since we moved there has been this weird strain on the both of us. Snapping at each other over little things and grumpy moods abounding. And it didn't help that some one got in the habit of staying up late and sleeping down on the couch.(Funny how he would tear me a new one for doing that before and now he has started doing it) I also have had some internal issues with myself and God and have in a way pushed God away and kept him at arms length. Ofcourse I am just coming off of my period and that always messes with my emotions.. it seemed like the mood around here was just starting to improve.
Next month is something of an important month around here and I don't know how I am going to handle it all with out Josh around. My son is turning 11 on the 12th.. a tweenager! Parent-Teacher Conferences are coming up.. I have 3 kids in 3 different schools and we are not very happy with my son's school and some situations that have come up. The plates on our van is up and some things need to be done to bring them up to date. There are rumors about a neighborhood pick nickscheduled for October.. kind of a get to know your new neighbors sort of thing (there are a lot of newly built houses closing in Oct and Nov) We had wanted to do something about our backyard in the way of planting grass.. does he expect me to do all that myself?
Maybe if I scramble I can find a sitter for tonight so we can have some alone time.. a date night.. ughhh but wait.. we can't, we are BROKE, God's way of keeping us humble I believe.
I am very happy that he is finally going to get some steady work and we can catch up and maybe get a bit ahead. I am just not thrilled about the fact that he has to be out of town and miss out on all these things that are going to be going on. I am not sure I can stand it or that our marriage will hold up under him being a traveler. And I know he feels the same way about leaving town.. happy about the work, sad about leaving.
What it is, is there has just been too many new things all at once. New house and moving, New Job that takes him out of town more often, New schools for the kids,Me being out of town for a full week and coming home to new routines, basically a whole New Life. We are still adjusting and settling in.
Lord I am craving and needing your PEACE over all these things in my life. Help!