Thursday, April 7, 2005

The face behind the camera.. me at the retreat and a story





My friend who went on the retreat with me last month came over yesterday and gave me these pics she took of me.  Normally I don't get any good pics of me because I am the one taking the pics so this was a nice gift.  I am trying really hard not to pick them apart and see all my flaws but see that yes I am beautiful in my own way, even if I have some junk in my trunk.  Noo you will not see me give a big toothy grin untill I get them fixed.. stop asking and wondering why I don't give big smiles.. touchy touchy.  I do need to take an updated pic of me with my new glasses.. I think I look much more mature in them.. they are kinda dramatic for me I think.  All to come in it's own good time.

Here is a link to the pictures I took from the retreat in case you missed them the first time.

I was really glad my friend got a pic of me reading, it reminds me that I didn't tell that story in my journal yet or did I?? I had all these posts about the retreat in my head and didn't write them out like I had wanted to.

It was not planned that I would speak at the retreat or anything like that.. all prompting of the Holy Spirit I believe. One of the speakers taught on the Jewish Customs for marriage and how that related and showed a picture of  Jesus Christ.  All very fascinating stuff.  I had started a post about what she had taught and what I took away from it but had a computer error and lost it.  I'll save that one for later then. 

After hearing her teaching I thought to myself.. ohh that relates so well to that essay I wrote last month for that contest, I should look and see if I have it in my Bible so I can show it to her and maybe read it.  I looked... ofcourse I didn't have it.  I must of taken it out to show someone and forgot to put it back in.  I was disappointed.  But I still had that nagging feeling that I shouldn't give up and find a way to get it so that it can be heard.  I groaned.. ohh if only I had Internet access.. it is in my blog I could just print it off from there!  I am so shy it isn't even funny but I am getting better.  I told my friend what was going threw my head and she insisted that I ask the person at the desk of the Hotel if I could use their computer to print something off the Internet. LOL NO WAY.. so she asked for me.  They said if we had our own computer we could do that but ofcourse I don't travel with a lap top and my desk top computer, as much as I love it won't fit in a simple suite case.  The clerk suggested I could get it faxed over to them.  Really.. it was that simple you think!  Why didn't I think of that? Duh!

I rushed back to our room to borrow a friend's cell to call Josh.. that is in one of the pics.  Ofcourse he was just heading out the door and didn't want to do it right then and there.  I insisted he do it.  I had to walk him threw how to find the file on the computer, he knows how to fax so I didn't think I had to be on the phone for that... ran back down to the lobby to see if it went threw.. nope.  I called him back to see what was going on.. he was working on it he said and to call back when it went threw.  Well.. it was lunch time and I had to go to the hall to eat with the other ladies.  Thankfully when I got back from lunch it was waiting for me at the desk.  Modern technology can be a good thing, if you know how to use it!!

I had to suck up being shy and pull aside the retreat coordinator,Janet Jackson (not the singer lol) and explain that I wanted to share this essay and how I thought it related to the teaching we just heard.  She said that she would "look it over" and talk with me about it later.. another session was about to start.  All though this lady is very nice I screamed inside wondering if it would fit her approval, after she "looked it over, judging if it was sound enough to share".. I was nervous.

It wasn't till the next day when she got back to me and said they would squeeze me in between speakers.  I was introduced as a young lady.. sounds funny to me to still be called young, I am looking at 30 very soon (or a lady) but I guess.. most of these ladies where much older than me and I did fall in the group of some of the younger ppl there.  She introduced my essay as a poem.. I thought it was kind of long to be considered a poem but if she thinks it is poetic I am not going to argue that.

I had read my essay at my church prior so I am fairly comfortable reading it to this group of women but I get up there and see how there is alllllllll these ppl..I kind of froze for a second.  Plus the print that Josh had sent it in the fax is smaller than I org. had it printed andI didn't have my glasses.  But after I stared to read it all was well and many ppl said they enjoyed it and was glad I did read it.  I was encouraged to keep up writing, as If I could ever stop : )  A lot asked for a copy so I got addresses and e-mails.

I am glad I didn't let that nagging feeling drop or else I would of missed out on that blessing I think.

If you would like to read it here is a link.  : )


  1. mary, you are very beautiful. and i have to say, i'm glad to see some updated pics of can tell you've been losing a few pounds. ;-) bet ya didn't think anyone would notice did you? sending blessings and love,  jess

  2. OH I Love that first pic. I wish you could get it clearer and enlarge for yourself. I really like htat pic. Does your camear have the ability to push the button half way and then push all way down. that usually helps focus. ???????

  3. I think you're outside is as beautiful as the inside I've come to know and love. Hugs, hon. *Barb*

  4. i think you are a very pretty ~young lady~.  i say the "young lady" part in fun b/c i think we are the same age (i'm 28).  but there is no doubt in my mind that you are a lady, mary.  i'll try to get to your computer can be agonizingly slow..... like tonight. grrrrr.  i always like when i get good pitcures back of myself.  lol

  5. you are so pretty mary!  great photos, especially the first one of you...