Talking with the Lord.. working out my salvation..

“Mary… come walk with me, come and talk with me today”

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“Yes Lord, but I am afraid to.. afraid of what you will say to me”

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“Come.. my burden is light, you are carrying a heavy one, let ME love you”

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“Lord, I know you love me, I love you too. But I feel like I am failing and slipping away from your embrace.  How can I stand in your presence?  How can I talk with you knowing all I know about myself, for you have surely showed me my heart and all the sin that is still there? I have been flirting with the path of un-righteousness.”

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“Mary… I know your heart and I know I am in there.  Do not forget me, your first Love.  Let me hold you and heal you of these hurts.  Take my forgiveness, I already gave it to you, remember all I have done for you.”

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“Satan laid a big trap for me this time didn’t he? And I walked right into it withmy eyes open.  He knows where I am my weakest and when I am feeling my lowest.  I know all sin is conceived in the mind and thoughts can be held accountable as the same as deeds.”

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“Daughter… I love you and with out me you will fail.  You stopped focusing on Me.  I had to do something to bring it back.  Do not be so quick to blame Satan for everything.  It was I who allowed all that to happen, to show you your heart and to bring you into a new understanding of Grace and Mercy.  All though you tried to muffle my voice, you know I was there the whole time with you”

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“Yes.. I remember hearing your spirit calling out to me.. I remember you trying to warn me, telling me to remember.. and I ignored you.  It felt so good to listen to Satan’s lies, even thought I knew they was lies, I wanted to be selfish for awhile.  He whispered to me it was ok to be selfish for awhile and I wanted to listen.  I wanted to be my old me, be back to a time when I only lived for me and hand no one else to worry about.  But when I did that, as good as it felt, I got angry.  I started to get angry with the life I was given, that I was not more, my flesh side cried out to be more then you had purposed for me.  I became unsatisfied with my life and longing for more in this World.. But there was no PEACE there, and I knew that and that fed into my anger.  I have been walking in your Peace Lord for solong, I forgot what it was like not to have it, and now I remember how horrible life is with out it.”

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“I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you.  I have given you life abundant.  Come back now to that Perfect Peace only I can give you.  I have such a wonderful plan for your life Mary.. Already you have touched so many for the kingdom and have a great reward stored up for you.  You may not see or know all you have done while you was faithful, but I do.  Wait for your reward and forsake the charms of this World.  You are who I want you to be, you are right where I want you to be.  Your whole life I have been guiding you, you know that by now.  I know your heart’s desire and I see your hurts and disappointments.  There is not one thought you have had or dream that I have not seen and some that I have put there myself.  Be patient.  Hold steadfast.  I have more in store for you, and I will not let you fall away.  I am always with you and never will forsake you.  I love you.”

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“THANK YOU LORD! It helps so much to be reminded of all this.  I know you have blessed me so much.  I have so much in you that others can only dream of.  You have given me a wonderful family and children.  You have given me a loving husband who cares for me like you would have him care for me. You have given me health even when I know I have abused my body. You have given me friends who lean on me and I lean on them.  You have provided a home and life for me that I always longed for when I was young.  Stable.  Forgive me Lord.. Forgive me for starting to become ungrateful, and for judging others.  You have shown me what I am capable of when I am not closely walking with you.  I know I see ppl as black and white sometimes and judge them for their actions and not their heart.  Help me remember the next time I start to think how horrible some one is that I could be them, I could do that same thing as easily as they could, but the difference is YOU and to show them that honestly.   THANK YOU LORD for lifting this spirit of heaviness and giving me garments of praise.  THANK YOU LORD for calling me into your presence even though I resisted.  I love you Lord and I thank you for loving me so much, for being the Lover of my soul.”

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“Here is a big hug from me, feel it?  I have already forgiven you.  Remember when I said it is finished?”

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“Yes! And it feels so good Lord.  Help me now.  Help me to stay right here with you.  Help me to keep this focus and to walk in the spirit at all times.  Help me to care for my family and the other ppl you have put in my life the way you want me to.  Help me to be obedient to your calling on my life.  Help me to cast out these selfish thoughts.  Help me to think on things that are Pure and Lovely and Of Good Report and Praise Worthy.  Feed me your bread of life and grow me up in you.”

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“Mary, I will, don’t think I would have you do it all alone.  I am still working on you and perfecting you, these things will happen, but I will make you stronger each time.  Don’t be away from me for so long, talk with me daily.  Now go back to the house work and get off the computer.”

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AMEN