Fellowship vs Worship and Nurse Practitioner???

I went up to church last night for the prayer meeting we hold each week and it was just awesome! There was only three of us and all women so you know how us women can be a bit chatty.  I think we talked for about two hours before we started to pray and then that was for almost another two.  I really needed this fellwoship.  It seems when ever I try and get up for a prayer service or Wednight service there is something going on at home and I can't make it.. it has been like that all summer.  I have felt slightly disconected to the church and some of the changes going on because I wasn't totaly privey to the details and the whys.  But I am excited and lastnight was like a reconection with some really wonderful sisters in the Lord.

Amy has been my closest friend for the last summer and she is not the most solid person in the Lord so I was very hungry for that one on one time with others who could be uplifting and help feed my soul.  NOT that Amy doesn't love the Lord, but she is kinda refered to as a baby Christian and not very mature as of yet.  SHe can be more negitive than positive and that sometimes rubs off on to me.  She hardly goes to church yet she fully says she wants to be a member there and that she loves the teaching and the leardership.  But then she said something I felt was very hurtful yesterday.. it wasn't a personal attack or anything but something of an observation she said she had but I did not agree with. 

 The Christmas Dinner is coming up and each year children's church puts on a skit or a play or a musical. It is a bit differnt each year but each child gets some lines or a part.  Since Amy's had been going here and there and she said that she wanted to be a member her kids was given small lines also.  I was given the note cards two Sundays ago with my kids and her kids lines.  I can't remember the last time Amy and I went to church at the same time, but she wasn't there when they was handed out so I was ask to give them to her.  I put them on my fridge and forgot about them until the middle of last week and told Amy about it and invited her to come Sunday.  Well she did not come this past Sunday and I was asked by the children's church teacher if her kids planned on being part of the play or not and if not she needed to know so she could give the lines to some one else.  That's fair I think.  So I told this to Amy yesterday.  "Well I'm not even sure if the kids want to be in it" she said.  "Why not? They did great when they was in the musical for that hoe-down dinner we had over the summer and had fun"I said.  "Well that is differnt this is serious" she said.  I gave a laugh and said it's only a few lines not such a big deal.  This is when she goes into well my kids are not sure they want to be in children's church and I am not sure about the congragatioin.. they seem clickish to me and not wanting to let outsiders in.  My jaw dropped.  I can see how this may true of some churches but not mine.  I know for a fact every Sunday she has come she has been greeted and talked with and invited to things but her being shy or busy or what ever refuses to take part.  I asked her specificly why she felt that way  and who specificly, and she had mentchend the kids was mean to her kids at children's church so I asked who.  She said it's not the leardership or the teaching at all but just everyone else. It is a vibe I picked up and I think other visiters do also and that is why they don't come back.  Well I think this is untrue but if it is the case it is not right and should be changed indeed.  I exlpained to her that a lot of the ppl there are related in some way or another so they are closer but other than that I don't see them NOT talking to people that are new.  I have invited her to women's meetings and home fellowship groups so she could get to know ppl more but she always has something going on.  So you can see how this has given me a very heavy heart, for one alreay feeling slightly disconected because I do not attend as regulary and then this friend of mine saying she doesn't fit in there.  I have been a Christian for going on 5 yrs now and this is the only church I know of as a home church since being born again.  I have visted other churchs and I do notice the differnaces, my church I think is unique in many ways and I love every person there like natural family but besides all that I do not go to church just for fellowship or making friends and socializing.. I go there to Worship and to be fed the Word so that I may grow in the Lord. Both are important I think and you have to have both to have a healthy church and to have your soul prosper.  I have heard a saying that a church is not a country club for saints but a hospital for sinners and I totaly agree with that.  Relationships will come in time, they have to develop and you have to be willing to invest some of your time in to it, if you can't do that then don't complain you are being excluded or there are clicks (when there are not) Go not just for the people but for the teaching if it is correct from the Word and learn and grow that way.  I remember when I first started going it took me over a year to learn peoples names and put a face to the names in the directery.. not that we have a big church by any means, I was just shy and a bit lazy too.  But in time I grew to love each person for who they was, my brother or sister in the Lord and see past inperfections.  I am not perfect I can not expect other to be as well.  If you are offended by something or some one, then go and talk it out, dont gossip behind ppls backs.  I know how Amy has talked about other churches that her other friends have gone to and all she can do is point out thier faults, I don't recall ever hearing her say positive things about other churches, so now I have to wonder if she is doing the same with mine when she talks to others about ME and MY home church.  I will just have to pray for the Lord to give me wisdom and to help me not to be offended by her and to just love her.  To be a friend even if we can not agree.  It is not like I am her friend Just because she wants to go to my church or even because she professes to be a Christian.  Still it stings a bit.

ANY WAY that was not the org. post I had planned but obviously it was bothering me and I needed to get it out. I wanted to update on my health issue.  I asked one of the ladies from church last night if she could recomend a good OBGYN and why.  She gave me her doctor's # but warned me she is hard to get into see for just a check up.  I told her I was hopping that if I expained the thing on my inner thigh I would get in faster than normal. 

I was so proud of myself for calling the number promtly this morning and not being scard or shy when talking to the receptionist on the other end.  I hate making apointments and just talking to ppl I don't know on the phone for busness purposes in general.  My mom and husband used to always do that for me until Josh told me to get over my phobiea cuz I was just being silly and lazy.   Really I was not.. fear would grip me each time I had to make an apointment or call a company for something.. I always felt like I would not know the proper things to say and do or say something wrong and be judged for it by the person on the other end of the line (as if I should care but I did). Over the years I have become better and better and I know the edict now and all that so I have more confidance in these little things.  Anyway after being put on hold twice I was finaly gotten to and I asked if the doctor was taking on new patience and if she took my insurance. Yes and Yes but routine check ups she had no openings untill Febuary.  FEBUARY! I explained to her that I needed to be seen and what I found while showering Sat. and that last night in my sleep it started to oozz puss and some blood. (NASTY AND EMBARASSING TO EXPLAIN)  She asked if I wanted to see a nurse practitioner. Um I guess (but that isn't a doctor) so I have an apointment with one tomorrow at 10:15.  I would go into rant mode about how crappy it is to only be seen by a nurse and not a doctor and how I miss my old one that I had.  I would go to him but he is 45 min away, but I know if I asked he would see me right away.  So what is the differnace between a doctor and a nurse RN and nurse practitiner??? Lots of schooling I think and salerary.  For some reason or another I think I would have more confidance and be reasured if I could see a Doctor.  Guess I don't have a choice and have to take what I can get.