by John Fischer
In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, when Harrison Ford goes after the Holy Grail, there is a final test where he has to take a step of faith to get to the Grail. He has to cross a chasm over what appears to be a bottomless pit in order to claim the cup so he can use it to heal his father (Sean Connery) from a fatal wound. The riddle he and his father have figured out has convinced him he must take a step out into the abyss—has to put his full weight into it—and as he does, sure enough, a bridge appears out of nowhere and his step lands on something solid that was not visible until the instant his foot came down on it in mid-air. All issues of faith are like this. It’s not enough to believe, you have to put your whole weight into it. And when you do, you risk falling, but you find something solid. So there is a risk involved. The risk is always around what will happen if God doesn’t do His part. The Bible says that faith “is the evidence of things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1 It’s the bridge that we step out onto even if we cannot see it. Maybe that bridge is love for someone unlovely. Maybe it is the words we don’t think we have until we put open our mouths in front of the person we need to address. Maybe it is courage to face a responsibility that seems impossible. Maybe it is the power to overcome a bad habit. But it’s there—the bridge of faith is there—even though we can’t see it. Hebrews 11 goes on to mention eighteen individuals by name, plus all the prophets, the children of Israel, and the early martyrs who accomplished impossible things by faith. All ordinary people—all with their own flaws, fears, and excuses to overcome. And the conclusion for us is to realize that these people and their examples are a huge crowd of witnesses surrounding us and telling us to “strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run the race that God has set before us.” Hebrews 12:1 What a cheering section! What is it in your life that you need to address by faith? What is the invisible bridge God is asking you to cross? I’m thinking about what’s on my plate. With this kind of encouragement, I think we can step out.
Getting a J O B.. Stepping out knowing God is in control and has a perfect plan and he will guide me and put me just where he wants me to be.
My husband and I have gone back and forth over this issue for over a year. I am very comfortable as a stay at home mother. But my husband, I feel, has grown to resent it, and thinks I do nada to contribute to this family (even though he is the one who suggested I be a stay at home mom in the first place) I have not worked in 4 years!!! I have all these doubts and fears about going back into the work force. It is very hard for me. Especialy when I myself have not heard a clear nod from the Lord to do this. But I have resloved myself to be a submissive wife, like the church is to Christ. My husband is a good man, who loves me and would never ask me to do anything that he wouldn't do himself.
The worst and hardest part for me is the job search its self! UGH! It always has been. I did do a resmue and have aplyed online to a few places and did that aol job search thing where you can have your resume posted for employers to see. So far all I have gotten is e-mails for those scam places for at home work... you know the ones. Man some of these places I have aplyed at want every little detail about you, from the last 4 addresses you have lived at to your drivers licence # so they can do a back ground check and driving history! Josh insists I get a factory job and even knows just the place.. I DONT WANT A FACTORY JOB! I want a nice office enviorment to work in, clean and flexable. I even considered aplying at a gas station down the way from me, but knowing Josh would have a fit about it I didn't bother. I also am insecure about how I look and my smile. Who wants to hire some one who can't smile at customers, or when they do there is a missing front tooth??
BUT, I can't just put my head in the sand anymore and hope this too shall pass. It has become a daily conversation with Josh and there is no peace. I try and sit and write my book, but he decides to look over my shoulder, and I cant. I feel like he is mocking me and my story is no good. Well, it probably isn't any good, but that is not the point.. he knows it hinders me and anoyies me and my dead line is fastly aproching. For me to even write is a step of faith.. it has been so long since I have been in school and done any formal writting. But I feel this is some thing I can do, yet he thinks it is a waste of my time and effort, and I am being unproductive in other things because of it.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Gods plan is that you bear your children in pain that is not just at labour. that is all your life and be a proverbs 31 woman. YOUR Job is the house. OH how I wish Josh could talk to Todd via IM> Todd would be willing I KNOW he would. I think Todd could tell him how we thought at times we would go under and nearly did and its ONLY BY FAITH BY FAITH BY FAITH!!!!!!!!!!! I mean total blind faith that I stayed home and believed God would supply for us. I really mean that. GOD DID WE did see that bridge. ONly after we stood on it by FAITH> IT took more faith to trust God for money than it did to do it ourselvs and go out and get it. REALLY If You would like for Josh to talk to those of us who have been thru it and made it to the other side TOdd would talk to him. NOW GIRL you know we are here for you always adn any time. IN Fact if you would feel josh would talk on the phone let us kow that tooo. I ll give you guys our phone #. I mean we were 10,000 in debt from court costs from his ex and that was not to mention the stuff we paid our of our pocket all on 20 k per year!!!!!!!!! NO KIDDING!!!!!!! 20 K per year and lawyers and four kids and man was it tight. THEN we finally have come out the other side. that was 10 eyar or more ago. We now only owe debt on our house nd we pay cashe for out cars. Used four year old cars but cash. It will happen in time. Lori
ReplyDeleteI am sorrry if you think I am pushing you to get ajob. I am not trying to do things on our own away from the lord. I do not insist on you getting a factory job. I asked you to look at an assembly job in a wherehouse that pays well, with no experience. You wont have to deal with customers, it is heated and cooled and after washing your hands at the end of the day you will be clean. I did not ask you to go and be a welder like i did and get covered in dirt and slag. I know you want a "nice office job" but what you would qualify for is way beneath what you are worth!
ReplyDeleteI do not want to hinder you in your book any more, all you do is ask me to read it, and how is it so far. So, when I do take an interest you think I am "mocking" you. So I will stop. I do think it is a waste of time when you have dishes in the sink all day, and I come home and the girls have half eaten PB sandwiches smeared all over the living room floor. Also when you stay up most of the night enough that your ten year old asks almost daily if you will be up before he goes to school. You get mad and I have to defend you to him.
You also say "we shouldn' work for stuff" . But we haven't paid for stuff from long ago, like credit cards used when I was out of work and doc and dentist bills for both of us.
I could go on and on, but I dont need to defend myself here. This will probly start enough of a fight. I just thaught the little I have read in your journal was a little one sided.
JOSH
About the conversation you saved to show me from Lori. I know it is biblical for you to stay at home. I can see that the lord blessed her family, and pulled them through very hard times. I do have the faith that no matter what the lord will provide for us. I have prayed for direction in you seeking a job. I prayed that someone could give me a word, or that there would be roadblocks ( besides you) that would stop you.
ReplyDeleteI also would not ask if you were content in being a homemeker.You only seem content in you online life. But you do not take any pride in your home, and the kids are usually more of a nuissance during the day, than not. I have seen this when I stay home. You say it is different when I stay home but last winter I was home for over a month and everyday was the same as any single random day I stay home. Our kids watch TV all day, and we watch almost every night.
Yes, I do want a home of our own. But I dont want you to work tou pay for it. We know I am going to be laid off for 5 to 6 weeks for school and we are behind now. Unemployment for that time will only pay for rent, not lights groceries or gas, besides the internet. I would like you to work to help us through this time and then to help get us back to even before you go back to school in 1 1/2 years. Because that bill will be tha same as a home loan. I really could care less about things. You know the only thing I really want is a bike, and I know I will never really have one. It would be to selfish and I am selfish enough without getting something like that.
You have said I should be the priest of the household and that you feel "burdoned" because I am not a mature as you. But people mature at different speeds, and some live on milk their whole lives. You have grown much faster than I have. I am comig along slowly and kicking . I wiil be there before the end, as we all will.
I was limited by chracters,
ReplyDeleteI love you
JOSH