Scratch that... I have an even more upsetting thing to write about

I was just about to post this long entry about Me and Josh and the e-mail back and forth between me and Lori.  I had fwd it over to Josh and thus the comments he left in my last entry (under my screen name)  I was going to put my responce but some thing esle has come up that makes me aware HOW THANKFUL I am and at the moment those things just don't matter to me.

 

My friend Riely has this 14yrd girl staying with him for a few weeks.  Her family is to put it lightly a big mess. They asked if she could stay with him so she could go to school while they are fixing up a house they are moving into.  Riley lives close to the district where she would be going to school.  I have met Amy and I know she seems ruff and guff on the out side but all she needs is LOVE.  She has been so abuse and negected.  She has played with my kids and does wonderful with them, not that I would trust her just yet to be a babysitter but I would invite her to spend time with us.  I told Riley that last week, since the kids was out of school that she could come and stay a few days over by us and give him a break.  This girl reminds me toooooooo much of me when I was her age.. too much. (if you read my testimoney you will have a hint how that was) My heart realy does break for her.

Riley called me today asking if that offer was still open.  He was going over to his family's for Thanksgiving and didn't think it would be a good place to take Amy since his family says what ever is on thier minds and drinks and cusses and are loud.  I said it should be fine but I would have to ask Josh first and ofcourse ask his parents who we are going to for Thanksgiving.  Josh said it was fine with him but I needed to call his parents and ask them.  I call down there and his step mom answers.  I ask if she was all ready for Turkey Day and if she was SURE she didn't want me to bring anything other than the soda she had asked for last week. She insisted that no just bring alot of soda and differnt kinds. ( I am a bit put off, I brought a big batch of home made mac n cheese and green bean casarole last year that was just delishous) Then I ask if it would be ok if we brought an extra person with us.  I explained that it was a teenage girl that was staying with Riley and she realy didn't have a place to go. But I didn't go into all the background and all that. I didn't think it would be a big deal,I should of learned by now EVERYTHING is a big deal with his family (at least that side of it) She said she didn't know.. they are having 16 people over already. OH? She said she would talk to Josh's dad first and have him call me back.  This is how it always is.  They don't talk to me, they talk to Josh, and it always his dad, never Jeanne. I dont know why that is but it is.  So I wait, and during all that I am writing a long post about Josh and Me.  Then Tom calls me back and says he doesnt think it would be ok, they just dont think they will have the room.  I ask well besides us who else is coming.  The normal family is just 11 but aparently Jeanne's son is bringing his girlfriend and her three kids too. Oh I didn't know that, that is great.  And also one of Jeanne's freinds is coming too. Oh. So the answer is No then? Ok bye.  I could of had a fit but I just dont get into it with these ppl. They are all sweet to your face and hold thier bitterness in for later and then unload it on Josh, with out talking to me about it.   But I was very very upset.  Crying.  What the Heck is Thanksgiving all about.. how thankful they should be to have a family and this poor girl has no where, I mean NO where to go, her family is all drama and her grandmother calls her a B*tch and a Slut.. can you imagin! Your own grandmother?  I called Josh right away and at first I couldn't even speak because I was trying to choke back my tears.  I told him how upset I was and that your parents said there was no room.  He said he would call me back that he couldn't talk because he was in the middle of back rolling but he could tell how upset I was.  I don't know if he is going to call his dad and see what is going on or what.  And if he does make a big deal about it, I will just look like the bad guy who put him up to it.

My first reactin is I HATE MY IN LAWS! HOW SELFESH THEY ARE! But I don't hate them, I try and love them.  But really now I don't want to go down there, all I will be able to think while I am there eating all that food how there is a little girl who was rejected because like at Jesus' brith there was no room at the Inn.  I want to say, screw them. I will have my own dinner at my house and she can come to that one. But I have nooooooo food and no money to go and get all the trimings.  How long does a turkey take to defrost? At least 3 days I read. I wastalking to my sister in Milwaukee and venting it out to her and she said she would wire me the moeny if I wanted but I told her no way!  She is almost as bad off as we are.  I guess there is a thing going on between her and my mom.  Marcy is making her own Thanksgiving dinner this year and had invited her and her husband but John doesn't like the neighborhood they live in and wont go.  And Mom isn't making a big dinner. So Marcy feels a bit rejected and put off.  She thinks my mom does everything John asks and she doesn't care about her own family anymore. (not true) I told Marcy I DONT EVEN LIKE the neighborhood she lives in lol.  But I am sorry her and mom can't work something out.

 

AND SOOOOO ALL THE HOLIDAY FUN BEGINS!  Where is the meaning behind it all? Where is the Thankfulness and remembering what it is all about? It is not about the food or the dinner or even all the family around you.  But just being greatful for one single day out of the year, when it should be everyday, how BLESSED you are by the Lord God, Creater of Everything!