How's that?

I hate drama in my life. I do not go looking for it or thrive off of it like some.  I am pretty much an easy going person, so I like to think. Well except when it's that time of the month, then yes every feeling is magnfied.  But that is maybe 3 days out of 30.  Some ppl it is more like 27 days out of 30.  Some ppl like to hold on to ppl's mistakes and be bitter and that will poisin thier whole life and even to the point where it will effect thier health.  Anyway, I hate the thought that some one is upset with me or that I have hurt anyone in anyway.  Two days I have let it eat at me as I mull it over and over in my head and dreading the Holidays because of it! But now that I wrote out an apoligy I am free.  How they choose to take it is up to them and I am free from how they choose to deal with thier own dramas.

"You are right, I should of kept that comment to myself and I am sorry. I just wanted to make sure my mom would tell me what she was getting the kids, since normally she likes to keep it secret and we did not want a repeat of last year. I did not realize how I sent the e-mail and that you would ever read it, regardless it was not very nice and I am sorry.

  I know you take great joy in picking out and buying the kids their gifts and I know the children will be happy with what ever you give them."  

 I wanted to add a few things but I deleted it.  It would not of been productive to say it doesnt matter what they get the kids, it is the thought that counts, not how much money that was spent.  Or that the definition of a gift is realeasing it to the person and not expecting something back or that Christmas shouldn't be about gifts but about The Lord and the gift he gave us freely. Or even adding how I felt hurt and disapointed over the whole Thanksgiving thing.  Some things are better left unsaid and should be obvouis anyways with out having to say it.  

This is not the kind of relationship I want with my in-laws.  I want to love them and they love me back, even if we don't always mesh.  I don't want to have to walk on eggshells and hold my tounge in fear of offending some one.  I don't want every little thing to be a big deal.  Yes, I relize that is all normal family stuff and every one has issuse here and there with the family they have married into.  Oh well, live and learn, moving on and lettingthe drama go, releasing it all to God to heal.  

I did get a call Friday from a company that I had applied for online.  It is a call cetnter for a rent-a car place (not naming names cuz you never know)  The lady seemed very intrested in me and did a quick mini interview.  She was very nice and I felt very relaxed but I did answer all the questions off the cuff so I don't know how it all sounded.  When she asked if I could type at least 20wpm I about laughed and said Ohh yess I am much faster than that. ( I will have to test myeslf to say for sure on my Mavis program but I say 55-60wpm)  Then she asked me questions about customer service and how I would deal with certain situations.  I am not positive if I answered right but I answered truthfuly and that is what counts I think.  When asked about my carreer path and how this position would fit it, I kinda stumbled because I really had not thought about it.  I said my plan is to go back to school when my youngest children are in school full time, so this would be a good job for me to help in saving for that.  I am sure there is a better answer for that but oh well.  She said they would call me next week after a panel had reviewed my answers and the next step if they thought I was qualified would be an in person interview.  The pay is $10 an hour (whaaahooo) in an office envirment (just what I want) with oppurtinty for advancment.  Currently they had openings only in the evenings and I could choose my shift that either started at 3,4,5 or 6.  I told her the one that started at 6 would probly be the best, figuring Josh would for sure be home from work by then and I could at lest still fix my family dinners before I left.  But working to 3 a.m. and getting used to those hours would be a challange.  When will I sleep???  Ofcourse I am used to being a night owl and if I let myself, I can stay up till 3 on the puter anyways, might as well get paid for it right?  The plus for me is it is all over the phone and I wont have to worry about my smile and my phone voice is plesant.  

 Also last week I got an e-mail from a temp agancy for a job I had sent my resume in for a Copy Clerk possition.  The position pays $10-13 an hour and also in a profesional office enviorment.  The e-mail said they was intrested and that my from my resume I was qualified but to aply at the temp agency's website and then some one would call me.  So I may also get a call from them this week too.  That sounds like a good job also and a nice entry level situation.  The big down fall I would think on that one is it is in Clayton, about a 35-45 min drive, lousy parking, and it is day hours.  Plus more people interaction lol.  

OK, so yesss, I admit it, I confess, I am a bit excited about those prospects.  It is what I want, not some factory work and it is the pay that Josh has required me to make.   Just all the details and all that is up in the air but that will work out if it is meant to be.  I will try and not get my hopes up too high, because as we all know once I do start to work it will only be a matter of months and I will be back home.  But it is just like I thought, I am getting used to the idea of working, and if it is in a place I want to be at, I will love it and enjoy it and when the time comes and Josh sees that it is not what is best, I will have to leave and I will not want to.