Thursday, March 11, 2004

But it feels so right, how can it be wrong. Sometimes the heart does lie if it listions to lies.

Years back, when I was not a Christian, I had cheated on my husband.  It was some one who lived far from us and it was while I was visiting family. He was a "friend" from where I used to work and we went out and partied and well, the smoking and drinking played a part in it.  I in no way had true feellings for him, but to justify what I did I made some up in my head.  At this time Josh and I was not perfect, we had just been newly married a few years and he worked ALOT. I was very lonely and felt like he only wanted sex when it was convinet for him.  So in my head I let the relationship bloosim with this other guy and yaaday yadday.  I could of let it go on from that just one night stand.  But I felt such guilt, I couldnt eat or sleep, I must of lost like 10 pounds.  I could not hold in what I did from my husband and I prepared myself to tell him. I even made plans to move out incase he threw me out. I would of left him and my two kids at the time for this other guy. When I told my husband about it all he was ofcourse broken! But he did not want me to leave, he wanted to stick it out, it would be too easy to let me go.  We made up and closed that chapter in our life. Not that my lonelyness went away overnight, but my wondering eye did. Eventaly we both came  to Christ and made him apart of our marrage and we have never been the same since. I can say we are more in love now than we was when we first said our vows.  I look back now and am ashamed of that time but also thankful that we stayed together.  Think of all we would of missed out if we had broken up.  The devil did have a foot hold there for some time later but we have broken threw that and there is trust and love.  Why am I telling you all this now? Because I see a friend in J~Land heading for distruction.  I see Satan robbing her and her family.  I see her making bad choices and heading down the same path I could of gone in.  I understand her position, and I know that restoration can be made.  Any thing worth having and keeping is worth fighting for.  And I also feel for her husband who she is doing all this behind his back.  I am not throwing stones for I am not with out sin. But oh how my heart aches seeing her going down this path and I have to think how much more God's heart is breaking over this professing Christian Women.

5 comments:

  1. ~BTW~ a book that has helped us alot is called Sheet Music by Dr Patrick Moorley. I recomend it for all married couples, no matter the state of your relationship.

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  2. i am very close to the person you are speaking of and it hurts me to see her in such a position b/c i've been there myself. i think that anytime a marriage falters & a person feels lonely, it's easy to want someone else who is showing you attention. but when the newness wears off, are you really left with anything but heartache? i'm not sure what is right for her. i know her husband & i know he isn't innocent in all of this. i hope she makes the right decision for her & her family.

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  3. God bless you for telling your story. Hopefully your friend will come to her right mind and let God guide her through this. I will pray for her. God bless, Beckie

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  4. Mary, what a little doll you are for writing this entry. You didn't have to. That must have been hard. You are a brave soul! I am so thrilled you worked things out. So happy for your family! I hope her decision...whatever is the right decision for her to be happy is made. My wish is that her husband shows her the love he feels in his heart in all the ways she needs....if he does, i bet her decision would be made for her.

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  5. The devil knows our weaknesses and makes sure temptation is handy. I hope so much this woman stops before it gets too late. We must keep her in prayer.

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