Pre Birthday Pounderings

 

 

A new minister was talking to the oldest member of his congregation.  "I am 90 years old, sir, and I haven't an enemy in the world," said the aged one. "That is a beautiful thought," said the clergyman approvingly. "Yes sir," was the answer. "I'm thankful to say that I've outlived them all."

LMBO.. I thought it was funny and went along well with this post.

Do you know what tomorrow is??? I vowed last year it would become just another day in the life of me and the date would be ignored.  Vanity in me wants everyone to ignore that thought and pour out lavishing attention upon me.. plus I still want my B N M rights. (B N M = B*tch and Mone) The Martyr in me wants to quietly suffer and not say a word.

 I don't know what it is about me and my birthday.  Being the oldest of three and not often having money I rarely had what some would call all out birthday bashes, (January Birthdays always suffer due to Christmas in one way or another) but MOM always still made an effort to bake me a cake and I would always get a card from Grandmas with some money in it.  I have always made my birthday to be a big deal.. demanding to my friends that if they loved me they would remember that important date to me. It used to be one of the first things I would tell new people lol. But MOM isn't here to bake me a cake or give me a birthday kiss and all my beloved Grandmothers have passed on.

Now I am another year closer to 30 (too close).  All the fun mile marker birthdays are done and gone.  On some level I feel cheated.  15 I did have a wonderful surprise birthday, a surprise that my parents let me have a party because I was grounded for taking the car out on a joy ride one night.  I didn't get the pretty in pink all out sweet sixteen candles Birthday. Seventeen I did have some fun with my friends getting stoned off  weed that I had stolen money to buy, and this is when I figure my son was conceived.( I could go into greater length about that *magical night* but I will save it)  Eighteen my dad was in the hospital on a venerator and it seemed too selfish to ask anyone to notice what date it was. Nineteen.. what is called my golden birthday because it was my birthyear on the matching date of the month, I graduated from high school, well the High School Completion Program I was in.  I had a small party in our small apartment.. bought a lottery ticket but ofcourse I didn't win. Twenty I was big preggers with Annie and I don't remember any celebration, we had over done Christmas that year I am sure. Twenty one I lived far away from my family and friends and didn't do the big bar hopping I had wanted. We did try when I went for a visit up there shortly after my birthday but it seemed not to be all it was promised to be. No one knew where to go or where the hot spots were.  After 21 what is the point of marking another year? When I turen 25 I really did freak out about becoming old and wished I could of reverted to 16 again. When you have kids they always come first and you come last. 16 was my last hurrah year before adulthood was thrust upon me. Now each birthday I kid with Josh that I am not really turning that but am still the same age I was the year before. I wonder if he will do anything for me for my birthday or if my mom will call or if I will even get a card (with money preferably).  Last year I think I was throwing such a big pity party for myself that anything Josh would of done would of been a disaster anyway.. but he did try and I love him for that. 

This year No Matter what I will be content. Even though I am on my period!!!!! Chocolate PLEASE!.. Gawsh I feel FAT! Tampax Pearl would be a fitting gift. They are my preferred brand and ofcourse they are more expensive. LOL (too much info??)

 We rush to grow up and once we have we look longingly back at our wasted youth.  I know in may of my older friends eyes I am still a young pup and they are thinking right now Mary shut up lol.  Most of my friends now are over 30 and they  never let me get away with complaining about my age. And in honesty I feel like I am already 30.  Having four kids will do that to you, plus like I said all my friends are abouts that age.  I am just happy to have my health, have such a loving family, and good friends.  The best gift of all having another year to serve my Lord.