Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Anti-Social? ME? ... venting

You know.. I think I am going to stop signing up to go to things or making plans with people because when it comes down to it I never get to go or something happens and I am tiered of it.

This Saturday my church is hosting a Ladies Friendship Day, a luncheon and a conference.  I was pretty excited to go and wanted to use it as an opportunity to invite some of the ladies in my life that I have met but haven't had a chance to really know well.. the mothers of my son's friends.  I went all out and even got cards to invite them thinking if they saw it in writing they would remember it and couldn't use that tired excuse that they forgot.  I only invited 3 ladies but they were ones that God has really put on my heart.  One card I gave to the mother personaly and the other two I sent to school with Zane to give to his friends to give to thier moms.  I did the follow up calls to make sure they got them but couldn't get anyone on the phone.  Can you tell I was really putting an effort forth??  *sigh*  Am I the only one on the planet that doesn't have a life and can make time for these things??  Seems so.  So I am somewhat frustrated about all that.  I really want to be closer friends with these ladies.. any one.. hello.. I am a lonely stay at home mom here who Loves God and wants to share that love with you!!  As much as I love my online friends.. I need more.. I need some one here to hear ME, do things with, go places with, and share.  I am always the one listen to these ladies vents and fears and all that but when it comes to me who is here for me?  I have been kinka taking stock of my friendships lately.. and the truth be told.. I am a loner with no real close friends.  Sure I have friends at church but I only see them at church lately..and any efforts I make to get closer is shut down it seems because ppl live busy lives.

Josh's Mom is coming to town this weekend and she was going to go with me to the Ladies Friendship Day but then Josh just called telling me he is working overtime the rest of this week and Saturday also.  Gurr.. So I can't go because of that.. or I could go and ask his mom to watch the kids but that is not the point.. it would be nice to have some one go with me to this!

There is a Bible Study on Prayer that I was invited to go to from the Mom's In Touch group I am semi associated with.  It is a six week study meeting on Tue nights.  I would like to go but reading more about the author of the book they want to use makes me go gurrr because she is also mixed up with some false teaching.. so hard to find a good bible study book these days and I refuse to sift threw the bad to get to one nugget of good truth.  And besides anytime I sign up for things my husband grumbles and rolls his eyes and some thing always comes up preventing me from going.  Like my whole life is being sabotaged!!

Also I am getting sick of being the family secretary.. I hate talking on the phone with ppl because often I am not sure how to deal with ppl or the proper way to ask for things.  I have to call two different doctor offices and get copies of physicals from two years ago for Josh and Zane so they can go to camp in June.  Also I had to deal with TransUnion to get our credit reports.. they wouldn't let me do it on the phone so I did it online and it wont print right.  I need this info so I can fax it over to the Grant Lady so we can get the ball rolling on us getting into a house.  Josh wants me to call her and see if we can get in to see her and maybe show her on the computer from her office (somehow I don't think that will work or is what she wants) so I have to call her who is almost impossible to get on the phone.

I want to be left alone.. curl up in a ball and cry cry cry.. but I know that isn't right.. that isn't what the plan is for my life.. I am supposed to be out there and building relationships with ppl, being salt and light.  Kind of hard to do that when no one wants to work with you on building those relationships.



  2. WELL one lady was right if you see Jesus and what he says anddoes. he wiped the dust off his feet at one point and went on at another point it was said Dont cast your pearls before swine. Thereis a verse in proverbs about friends and in pslams i Have read those and from what I see I give and give and get treated like dirt so I have done my part I owe nothing I prefer to stay alone.

  3. That song you have now playing on your journal was a song I dedicated to a friend of mine once that I met on the net.  I prayed for God to lead me to a lost soul that wanted to actually hear about God.  I know, that's rare these days...  But, he was a person who came from a country that only had 12% of the population as Christians, and he'd never met one before.  Maybe God's keeping you from them because he wants you to go to more needy people or something?

  4. countrybumkin779May 11, 2005 at 12:57 PM

    welcome to my life. i sit here at home monday thru thursday, thursday nightwe go to youth group, then i sit here friday thru sunday, and on sundays i go to church. you know yourself the only friend i really have is jen, and you know how that goes. when you get used to it it isn't so bad. lol like i told you the other night though............i just don't like people, so that may be my problem. lol. don't get me wrong i'm not anti social, but it seems that anymore you can't find a good confidant. don't worry it'll work out. sending special friendship blessings and love, jess

    P.S. online friends can be just as fun

  5. THIS entry really made me feel bad. I cannot understand how these women, who are supposed to be Christians are missing the mark here, and in my opinion, they REALLY are. How sad that you got treated so shabbily from women who have CHRIST in common with you. How sad that must HIm, and disappointed in them too, but I doubt they realize it. You are SALT, honey, and people are really missing out by not spending time with you.  Don't give up though, tempting as it is. We'll just have to pray and ask the Lord to bring some special women into your life. Hugs and much love. *Barb*

  6. I can't say I don't get this either. I drive myself batty sitting here, or even at work with the people I know are my friends. But yet then when Im alone Im not happy either. Online friends work out just fine for me. But then their not always there sometimes too, but thats a good thing to people sometimes. :o)

    Anyway, Im going to go now before I try and say something else that makes no sense!!

  7. You never know what little "seeds" those invitations may have sown!  Hang in there girl.  I too am mostly a "loner."  Never seem to have the time, money or resources to do the thing other people want to do to get to know you.  And I spent hours on the phone yesterday talking to government agencies near and far, State and Federal just trying to get a "Ceritficate of Age" so Bubba can work at the shop of the oilfield company Pete works for this summer!  Seems the Feds don't care what they do long as they are 14.  The proper state agency turned out to be the TX Dept. of Labor.  Why don't we partner up and pray that God send each of us a real live Christian female friend?  One in our socio/economic circle?  God Bless!-  Barbara